


Summertime

by Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: AKA he hasn’t killed a random bloke in the queue in front of Baz, Are the blowjobs magickal?, Aubergine, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Bathing/Washing, Baz finds out what aubergine juice really means, Baz has compared it to a massive branch of a great oak tree, Baz is obsessed with Simon’s neck, Baz kisses Simon’s moles and freckles, Baz makes food for Simon, Baz makes his own spells, Baz wants to chase away all of Simon’s suitors, Baz’s imagination knows no borders, Blood Kink, Blow Jobs, Blushing, Blushing Simon Snow, Blushing Tyrannus Basilton ”Baz” Pitch, Body Worship, Borderline crack ship of its own, Cherry flavoured lube, Cock Worship, Come Swallowing, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Dramatic Simon Snow, Dramatic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Dry Humping, Emotional Porn, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Finger Sucking, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Flavored Lube, Flirting, Fluffy Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, French Kissing, Frottage, Gay Simon Snow, Gay Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Simon Snow, Gentle Tyrannus Basilton ”Baz” Pitch, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Grinding, Hair Washing, Hand Jobs, Happy Porn, He thinks there must be many, Holding Hands, Ice Cream, Idiots in Love, In a way, In fact he loves all Baz’s body parts, In reality there aren’t any at all, Insecure Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Is Simon really speaking the language of flowers?, Is there too much kissing?, It might be clear by now that there’s lots and lots of porn, It will take a while to edit, Jealous Simon Snow, Jealous Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Kissing, Large Cock, Licking, Literal Sleeping Together, Loss of Virginity, Lots of blushing, Lots of kissing, Love Bites, M/M, Magic Cock, Magic Fingers, Masturbation in Shower, Medium Burn, Moving In Together, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Neck Kissing, Nervous Flirting, Niall is very helpful friend, Nipple Licking, Oblivious Simon Snow, POV First Person, POV Simon Snow, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Pining Simon Snow, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Pitch 61, Playlist, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pride and Prejudice References, Protective Simon Snow, Protective Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Public Display of Affection, Ridiculous Porn, Rimming, Royal Cock, Scones, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Simon Snow Loves Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow in Love, Simon Snow is Gay for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon also thinks Baz's lips have more magic in them so not only cock and hands, Simon has a distraction list with Baz’s arse lips eyes and cock sharing the top placements, Simon is blessed with a giant for a cock and Baz is obsessed with said cock, Simon is obsessed with Baz’s arse, Simon likes Baz’s kiss swollen lips, Simon loves Baz’s cock too, Simon thinks he’s becoming a pacifist, Simon wants to kill all of Baz’s other suitors, Simon wears Baz’s Watford football jearsey and sweatshirt, Simon’s cock is organic because of all the real butter he eats., Skincare, SnowBaz, Soft Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Soft Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Stupidity, Summer before eighth year, Swords, Swords are forever ruined after this, Texting, The author started editing from the beginning, The author tags way too much, They have waited for years after all, They should kiss even more, Touching, True Love, Two kinds of lube, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Loves Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch in Jeans, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch in Love, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow in Love, Undressing, Yes Simon is a complete and utter moron in this one, a true gem tag that came from Lafeli85 for another of author’s fics, also to Hercules, and Baz’s rim too, and a giant, and pressing his own juice, blue dildo, constantly, courtesy of Lafeli85 and Ampithoe, for the summer, good question, good to devour while wanking, juice or something else, kissing on the cheek, lots and lots of blowjobs, not even a little, not really but Simon thinks so, of sorts, only Simon could think that, so much licking, sucking, the most impressive sword of all times, there aren’t any, they’re horny and their hearts are also horny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:53:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 171,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21792541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire/pseuds/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire
Summary: [Explicit]18+ Simon and Baz.Baz’s hand is moving under his pants and I keep panting for some reason. (Probably in anticipation of finally uncovering all his plots.)Why hasn’t he taken off his pants? Wouldn’t it have been easier for him, more to see? I mean fewer movements, less restrictions for him because I definitely don’t want to see more.What I’m trying to say is that it makes sense to take the pants off while wanking. It’s just common sense. It’s for his benefit, not mine. I don’t even want to watch.Oh, Merlin, Baz is arching his back, his stomach is flexing and I can’t look away. He’s so fucking fit and apparently very sensual too. Unfortunately, I can’t see his face clearly from over here.Starts summer before Watford 8th year.One month into the summer break, Simon decides it's time to uncover all of Baz’s plots.Luckily for Simon, there is a nice tall tree outside of Baz's bedroom window in Hampshire.What is Baz doing during his summer break exactly?
Relationships: Fiona Pitch & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Malcolm Grimm & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Niall & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Vera, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 371
Kudos: 456





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Playlists seem to be piling up. (All Spotify.)  
>   
>  **[Summertime](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/7xmoeH82IMhHWb8aVKT6uN?si=vfoZy8QPQnKybbA7Fo8CNw)**  
>   
>  I listened to it constantly while writing chapter 1-10. (This playlist isn’t in English.)  
>   
>  **[Summertime Gift Playlist 💝](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0pwVFX4hYTbxS5OZ1dQBbc?si=m0l1GAZKSKOGpJAMfyLsTQ)** from [Ladyofthef0wers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofthefl0wers) and [PeppyBismilk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyBismilk).  
>   
> It's brilliant. Emotional pick me up, ridiculous and over the top.  
>   
>  **[Massive Addictive (Summertime)](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/5IC8aLivyxLPz1mvhITXvv?si=ziMGIGZJSiCvSQDdgowF8g)**  
>   
>  All the songs are from one single band. Works really good for writing love and intimacy (for me), don’t ask me how.  
>   
>  **[Ring My Love Alarm](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/0cyYShC6Hiyd2G3kRaxpK6?si=3myaVWWFRX6EZi5BKeBQlQ)**  
>   
>  I created this one for my friend Blue ([mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow)) for their incredible fic **[Ring My Love Alarm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22014511/chapters/52535044)**  
>   
>  This playlist is silly and cute. It is fitting to my fic as well, so I listen to it while writing my own story.
> 
> * * *
> 
> All the love to my friend and beta Blue ([mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow)) who is my emotional support and the reason I’m posting what I write in the first place and who also beta reads everything for me, even heavy angst.  
>   
>  **Thank you Blue!** 💙  
>   
> Extra thanks to the lovely [Fogo_Ilse_of_FIRE2121](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fogo_Ilse_of_FIRE2121) and [SimoneX](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimoneX/pseuds/SimoneX) for jumping in and checking grammar when it was possible. 💙
> 
> * * *
> 
> ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear reader, I've started revising this fic from the beginning. Sorry for temporary inconsistencies.
> 
> * * *

# SIMON

This summer I finally got a summer job. Normals tend to shy away from me because of my magic and because they think I’m a troublemaker. I’m really not. 

It’s the vampire back at Watford who’s the troublemaker, making troubles for me. Not that Normals know anything about that.

I suppose it’s true I fight with every bloke at the care home. (I forgot about that.) That may be why they think I’m difficult. But I’m really not. It’s all _Baz_.

He’s the difficult and infuriating one… infuriatingly beautiful. (I’m envious of him every day.)

I managed to score a position for a whole month at the local bakery. And since I know my way around a kitchen pretty well, they actually appreciate me a lot. 

Truth be told I had literally nothing to do with Agatha during winter breaks except for baking every day. 

Since I’ve started dating her three years ago I’ve become quite the _expert baker_.

I couldn’t be happier about this job. They let me eat what they don’t sell. It’s an old fashioned bakery so almost everything is made with real butter. (It’s not Cook Pritchard’s sour cherry scones, but still.) 

Therefore, I’m not as thin this summer as I usually am. I’m not starving for once.

Life feels pretty good even though I’m still worried about what Baz is plotting against me this summer. (He’s _always_ plotting.) And while I’m thinking about him and his plots, I notice that I need more than just food. 

I’m still starving — for magic, not food.

Of course, I know I’m not allowed to be a part of the magickal world during the summer because the Mage wants me to stay close to the language. I only ever hear obscenities at the care homes.

So I don’t get why he thinks I should keep that part of language alive and kicking in my brain.

But the Mage knows what’s best, I guess. (I try not to think too much about that.) 

Who knows... maybe he’s planning to create new spells using vulgar Normal phrases, and I’m the only one who can get close enough to get all the necessary knowledge. 

That must be it. (At least that’s what I keep telling myself.)

But still, I really _really_ need more than Normal world right now and I can’t stop thinking about Baz plotting. (I can never stop thinking about him.) 

Besides, I’m pretty sure I already know all the Normal swear words, as it is. I’m ready if there will be a quiz from the Mage when I get back to Watford.

Meanwhile, I’m going so mental, thinking about Baz and his schemes, that I’m not even hungry for food anymore. I need to see him, so I can be sure that he isn’t doing something too sinister to take me down.

And then it hits me, right out of the blue. Baz is a vampire. (I never forgot!)

What I mean is if I’m in proximity to him, it won’t be against the rules. 

Technically Baz is a vampire, not a mage. I mean he is both _and_ a human, but that’s beside the point here.

I had never thought I was this smart — I found a perfect loophole. Now the Mage can’t get angry with me if he catches me in the act since technically I’m not breaking his rules...

With a recommendation letter from my bakery, I manage to get myself a position at a bakery in Hampshire (that’s where Baz lives.) 

It’s a posh place, but I’m not an idiot. I know how to speak to posh Normals. (It’s posh vampires I struggle talking to.) 

The downside to this is that I will have to take the train every day to get there and back, but it’ll be worth it to be able to see Baz. (Because I’m determined to figure out all his plots.) 

I wonder how he keeps his hair during the summer break. He gels it back when we’re at Watford, and I don’t really like that. 

The nice lady at the bakery offered me a spare room above her shop, though I’ve only been here a few days.

I think she likes me because I listen to her, never second guess her decisions, and her late husband was a chainsmoker. My magic smells of smoke. That’s also why Normals usually avoid me. I get agitated easily since I usually don't get along with them.

This will be much better than travelling by train every day to see Baz. I mean, to see what he’s plotting.

* * *

It took me longer than I expected to locate his room. His house seems like a maze it least from the outside. When I finally do find it, I climb one of the trees outside of his window. Not too close, I don’t want him to know I’m there.

I still can see plenty. His room sure has a lot of _blue_ in it.

The comforter is blue and several pillows too. He has many. They are all placed around his bed, in some kind of order, I think.

Does he lay on all of them at the same time? How’d he do it even? Must be some kind of fashion for rich people. 

There’s also something blue lying on his desk as well. I can’t see what it is. Could be a book or a notebook.

I'm too far away to smell his room. Also, I might need to be on the inside in order to do so. 

Our ensuite always smells like Baz’s posh soap — it's cedar and bergamot, (according to Penny). Every autumn when I come back to Watford a few days before him, I always go inside and sniff around, trying to catch the scent.

Baz gets in and my heart skips a beat. 

Finally. I’ve been sitting up on this tree for two hours waiting for him. (Thank magic for the blueberry scones I had in my rucksack.)

Baz is wearing a lighter green blue shirt and darker trousers. He looks amazing. 

His hair is loosely tucked behind his ears. It looks much better like this. He should do this at Watford, instead of combing it back.

Still, there are no stray hairs around his face. That is a shame. (I prefer when his hair falls lazy over his forehead.)

I’m so happy to see Baz because now I’m going to see everything he’s up to, all his schemes.

Instead of plotting though, he starts removing his clothing, and my throat tightens. (I’m probably thirsty after waiting for him for so long.)

For the first time I get to see more of his skin than I've ever seen before. Grey, smooth (I'm assuming since he's perfect and not covered in moles and freckles like I am), and beautiful.

My magic has been acting up all summer. But now, while watching Baz underss it simmers down for some reason and I can finally feel calm…

Although, my body isn't _entirely_ relaxed right this moment, when he’s sliding his shirt down his shoulders exposing his upper body. (I wish I could see more clearly.) 

After taking his shirt and his trousers off and hanging them all on a stool, he walks over to his bed and lies down on his back. (He’s still wearing his pants.)

Baz only uses one pillow to lay on. The biggest one — _blue_. 

I get a little distracted by the muscles on his stomach. Even when I’m thin, I’m never ripped. Baz is — not too much, just enough to look fit… really fit… 

_Concentrate, Simon._

Oh yeah, plotting...

I wonder what he’s going to plot from there. He must want to be half nude for his evil plans against me, maybe it’s easier that way for some reason. 

Truthfully, I never knew that’s what people did, — plot in bed _shirtless_ , while having the smoothest chest I’ve ever seen in my life.

I’ve seen many.

There are several dozens of boys at the care home I’ve peeked at in the shower. I always made sure to check all the blokes out, if possible. (Simply because I’m a curious person by nature.)

It doesn’t take long for me to notice Baz’s hand slide inside his pants. Somehow, I’m paying him much more attention than I did to any bloke during showers at the care home.

Is he going to do what I think he is about to do? Yeah… He’s clearly palming his cock. Even though his hand is inside his pants, I can still see the movements… (I can’t look away.)

Maybe I shouldn’t watch though. 

This is probably one of those times that Penny considers to be violations of his privacy. (She’s on my case about that all the time for some reason.) 

But I do need to know what he’s plotting so I have to keep watching. It’s for the greater good, you know? 

Even if it’s creepy, sitting here up in the tree, watching Baz through his bedroom window while he gets himself off. (It might be illegal too; probably counts as a felony.) 

But I’m not here because I want to be. I _have_ to watch. As I said it’s for the greater good. 

Even though Penny and I have a no-secrets pact, I think it may be best not to tell her about this. She’s too narrow minded to comprehend the importance of this moment. 

This could be it, I might figure out every plot Baz ever had once and for all.

Why is it so warm here all of a sudden? I could swear it was chilly earlier.

His hand is moving under his pants and I keep panting for some reason. (Probably in anticipation of finally uncovering all his plots.)

Why hasn’t he taken off his pants? Wouldn’t it have been easier for him, more to see? I mean fewer movements, less restrictions for him because I definitely don’t want to see more. 

What I’m trying to say is that it makes sense to take the pants off while wanking. It’s just common sense. It’s for his benefit, not mine. 

I don’t even want to watch. 

While his hand is working very hard on what I can only assume is very hard cock (probably fit too), his whole body starts to move and tremble…

His hair is sprawled on the cushion now, falling on one of his cheeks in that lazy way I like. I can’t see his eyes but I think they might be closed. 

Oh, Merlin, Baz is arching his back,his stomach is flexing and I can’t look away. 

He’s so fucking fit and apparently very sensual too. Unfortunately, I can’t see his face clearly from over here. 

Fucking hell, why is it so hot here? This is England, not the Mediterranean, _for snakes’ sake._

And I’m just noticing that I must have been palming myself this whole time. (I’m very hard — rock hard.)

When did I start doing that? 

Must have been excited about all the plots I’m going to uncover. That’s the only possible reason for it.

I don’t think it’s right though to do anything while watching Baz so I force myself to stop. (That was not an easy deed.)

Then I place the rucksack on my lap because it’s more practical than having it on my back. 

I’m very sure that this has nothing to do with me desperately needing some friction on my crotch. That’s just a happy coincidence if anything.

Baz is done and he looks peaceful. (I’m just assuming, I can’t really see his face.) 

For some reason he very abruptly gets up and walks to what I’m guessing is his washroom. Why is he in such a hurry? 

I wanted to watch him some more. I mean I wanted to watch him plot against me some more.

Unfortunately he’s gone and I have no other choice than to leave the tree.

Well, this was proper educational. But the thing is, I couldn’t see enough. (Of the plotting that is.) 

I think that I need to get myself a pair of binoculars for next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My personal goal with this fic is to make each next chapter more ridiculous than the one before. Thanks for reading.😎


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised chapter.
> 
> * * *

# BAZ

You could say yesterday was a bizarre day. My mind cooked up a realistic illusion of Snow being somewhere nearby. I could actually smell him and his magic. (I had no idea my brain was capable of such top quality fantasies.)

I’ve been having a hard time for a month now, hardly doing anything, spending my days thinking about Snow, missing him.

This mirage of his scent is more than welcome. I need this, in order to not go completely insane from yearning after him, now that I’m away from him for the whole summer. 

However, it could very much be just me going mad from loneliness and having hallucinations. 

Still, I decided not to look the gift horse in the mouth.

I knew the persistent illusion of Snow being nearby would heighten my pleasure and I wasted no time giving myself a good wank. 

So I took my button up and trousers off but kept the pants on in order to feel a bit of weight against my hand. I was going to get myself off while imagining Snow on top of me, pressing against me. 

I don’t have it in me to think about him getting me off with his hand, I’m not that foolish to believe he’d want to do that. Nevertheless, I am letting myself think about him lying on top of me. (Surely there could be some believable reason why he would.)

So I lied down on the bed — on my favourite blue cushion. 

I may very well tell you that I've been spending an obscene amount of time on picking up the perfect combination of cushions and then arranging them in the most calming manner. Having something to do helps by brain to settle down. 

And yes several of them are the colour of Snow's eyes. 

What can I say, I have a lot of blue in my room. It makes me feel closer to Simon.

That faint scent of smoke, of Snow himself, made this feel almost real. I was terrified the scent would disappear I didn't even have time to grab the lube.

Still, It felt so good, pulling on my cock rapidly while imagining him here. I came quickly. You could say that I was in a bit of a hurry. (Who knows how long my brain can produce the illusion of his scent.)

When I was done, I tipped my head back and tried to catch my breath. That was when my eyes happened to linger on the mirror. (It hangs on the opposite side of my window.) 

I could clearly see Snow sitting in a tree in the garden. 

What. The. Fuck?

I panicked and quickly left to my washroom.

How did he even get here? _Why_ was he here? And Snow saw me… he saw me wanking. 

Aleister fucking _Crowley_ , I’ve never felt more embarrassed in my entire life.

Bloody hell.

Then it hit me right out of the blue. 

If I was embarrassed, Snow must have been terrified. I’m sure his little heterosexual heart was _both_ uncomfortable and appalled. 

I might have scared him off of me for good. He might never try and follow me around back at Watford ever again. 

Surprisingly, it gave me some odd comfort. Him following me, hating me, while I love him, has been quite the inconvenience. 

That even forced me to go to extremes and try to use the recorder my aunt gave me to get him to be away for a little while. (I've regretted that immediately, of course and would never try to hurt him again.)

Regardless, it’s easier for my mental health _not_ to have him follow me around.

If only I knew beforehand that catching me wanking is what was needed for him to leave me alone, I would have done that ages ago.

With Snow following me everywhere back at school I was constantly in need of a good wank.

Well… At least I know he won’t come back, after seeing me like that.

I stayed put in my washroom to give him time to leave. I didn’t want him to know that I saw him. 

Some part of me thought that I should have tried to put some food out for him, since he starves during the summer. 

How was I to do so, when he was appalled by what happened and probably left in a hurry? I knew he’d never come back either.

* * *

The next day his unexpected visit felt like a remote dream.

I just get back to my room after afternoon tea and I’m trying to decide what I should do now. That’s when I realize that I feel the scent of smoke and Snow again. 

He's back. Why is he back?

I don’t bother glancing in the mirror. I know it’s him. Only he can smell like that. I panic again and leave for my washroom.

Why did he come back? What is this exactly? He saw me pleasuring myself yesterday and casually decided to stop by again?

Perhaps he’s curious. What exactly is he curious about? Me? 

Does he want to see more? He must if he came back after seeing me wank.

Do I want him to see more?

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, I want Snow to see more.

That isn’t even a question. 

The real question is, how far shall I go? I don’t want to scare him off now that he’s back.

While I was sitting in my washroom contemplating my life choices at least twenty minutes must have passed. 

I wonder if he'll get suspicious if I come out still wearing my clothes after I locked myself in the washroom for so long. (Knowing Snow he probably will.)

Another concern comes to mind. 

Will he know that I know that he knows? 

For a moment there, I almost confuse myself with that train of thought. Am I turning in to Snow when I’m aroused and embarrassed? 

Yes, of course, I’m still aroused, more so now that he’s here, waiting to see me _wank_. 

Is that why he is here?

It must be. What could possibly be another reason for him to come back?

I know what I should do. I should let him think that I was here taking a shower. 

That way he’ll have no reason to get suspicious. And I won’t need to undress in front of him. (I don’t think I’m ready for that.) 

Besides, I’m also worried that if I try to undress in my bedroom I’ll accidentally look in the mirror for too long and he’ll notice that I can see him. 

Snow can never know that I know he’s here. He might not come back next time. 

Next time?

_Hold your horses, Basilton._

You still need to get through this time.

I put water on warm, wait until it’s scalding hot and get under spray just to wet my hair and body for a few minutes. (And catch my breath.) 

Shower was a good idea. I’m getting a bit more relaxed. As in still exceedingly aroused, yet with slightly less nervousness.

When I get out I dry myself only a little so he can see that I definitely took a shower. (As not to give him any doubts of what I was doing in here all this time.)

I wrap a towel around my waist and walk out from the washroom.

Crowley, I am extremly nervous. I can still smell him, even more now, if that’s possible. Snow’s still here. 

I carefully lay down on the bed on my back and try to relax, inhaling and exhaling as slowly as possible to even out my breathing. 

It’s going to be fine, I tell myself. He’s seen me already. 

Well, not quite seen, I was still wearing my trousers. Despite my previous bravery, I don’t think I can just get all together naked just like that. 

I’m too nervous but I am excited all the same. Snow is here, on a tree outside in the gardens. He’s watching me. 

As soon as I get some of my anxiety under control, I start by slowly palming myself above the towel. 

I let myself smell Snow and have my senses get drunk off him. (He’s intoxicating, and it’s not his magic that I’m speaking off here, it’s _him_.)

So I keep on palming and trying to squeeze a bit through the fabric. It feels nice.

It’s working. My heart is still on its way to jump out of my chest, yet it's for entirely different reasons now. I’m enjoying the thought of his eyes on me. 

Finally, I’m getting harder. I can feel it and the anticipation of what's to come feels good, _so_ good.

I want Snow to see. I’m ready for him to see me, all of me… I’m ready.

While moving my other hand across my stomach I let it slide under the towel and slowly I let the towel glide down.

Snow can see it all now. He’s still there. He must want this, I keep telling myself. And, of course, I want him to watch. 

I have never felt so excited in my life. (And terrified.)

Slowly and carefully I start palming myself. I’m getting hard at a rapid speed.

I give my cock a few experimental pulls. It feels amazing knowing that he’s here, watching me. I lick my palm (I forgot about lube in all the excitement) and start moving my hand up and down my cock, imagining Snow touching my cock instead, with his big, strong, calloused hand.

 _”Oh_ yes…” I moan softly.

I’m hard as a rock already. I keep squeezing and pulling my cock and twisting a little just around the head. 

_Simon_. I only say his name in my head. I can’t risk him hearing that.

I could swear I can hear his breath hitch. That can’t be, he’s too far away for me to hear. I dare a quick glance to the mirror. 

Snow is sitting on a tree just outside my window. He must have decided to relocate closer. He must want to see me like this. 

That realisation goes straight to my cock. A few more strangled moans escape my lips. 

I let them. 

I let Snow hear me. (Can he hear me from over there?) (I sure hope so. The tree is just outside and the window is still open.)

It doesn't take long before I’m getting closer and my moans are getting louder. (Not too loud though. I can’t risk him getting suspicious.)

 _Oh, Simon..._ I keep that one for myself. 

A few gasps escape too, but it’s mostly _yes_ and _oh_ and _fuck_.

Because of my newfound self-esteem of him watching me, breathing heavily, my mind starts fantasizing about things I’ve never let myself think of — Simon touching me.

I tip my head back and come hard imagining coming in his hand. And then I imagine him licking his fingers. (Because I’m disturbed. Ask anyone.)

A thought appears in my mind.

Should I lick my finger? Will Snow be repulsed? Or… Perhaps he’ll like it?

Fuck it all!

_It’s now or never, Basilton._

I move my finger closer to my mouth and let it linger on my lips. Then I move the finger around for a bit, caressing my lips, until I let it slide inside my mouth and lick it.

Crowley, did I just lick my come stained finger in front of Snow? 

I did. Aleister Crowley, it was so hot to do that...

The excitement of what I've just did while he's watching is spreading through my body. 

It almost feels as if I could start all over again. I’m mere moments from getting hard. 

However, I’m also terrified. 

Did he like it? I thought I caught the scent of Snow coming. Although surely it can’t be. (It was probably just my vivid imagination and my own enthusiasm.)

This isn't something I've ever done before. It was incredibly exciting to try and it felt so hot licking my finger while he was watching me. I was imagining licking come from Snow’s finger or even better, his cock. (I would lick it clean.)

Regardless of this incredible fantasy now I’m worried that he didn’t like it and won’t come back. 

Will he come back?

I want Snow to come back. I crave anything that involves hearing him, sensing his scent — _anything_. I’ve missed him so much during the whole month. I want him here with me forever.

And yes, of course, I am well aware this — him watching me from a tree — is the closest I’ll ever come to _be_ with him. (It’s more than enough, it’s more than I could have ever dreamed off.)

Before I let my nerves show on my face and make Snow suspicious I escape to my washroom again. I look myself over in the mirror. My hair is still a bit wet and quite messy, framing my face in waves and I look… well, I look as if I just had a very good wank. (I did.) (The best I ever had!) 

The best I’ll ever have if Snow doesn’t come back. 

Was it too much with me licking my finger at the end? Should I not have done that? Did it repulse him? Did I repulse him? 

What’s done is done. 

There’s nothing I can do to change that now. I stay in the washroom until I’m sure Snow’s gone.

If Snow comes back again then I’ll know for certain he enjoyed watching… even that part with my finger… 

And if he decides not to come back… Well… Then it means that it was all too much for him… 

At least I will have a few very arousing memories to play over and over again in my head. 

I will know soon enough, I suppose what he thought about it all. Tomorrow will determine what way he leans, whether or not he enjoyed what I did.

Still, I can’t help myself from thinking about him on the tree watching me wank. It seems impossible to stop my mind from wandering if Snow will come back…

I so want him to come back…to me…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised chapter.
> 
> * * *

# SIMON

Yesterday I went and bought myself a pair of really good and big binoculars. It’s a useful investment. (I need to be able to see everything Baz is plotting.)

I settle down in the same tree as last time and wait for Baz to come back to his room. (I think he drinks afternoon tea around this time so I had plenty of time to sneak in, get comfortable and wait.)

Thanks to the binoculars, I could investigate more of the room. I was right yesterday — it’s definitely a blue notebook on his desk. I wonder if he’s writing all his schemes in it. 

It would make sense since blue seems to be his favourite colour. So he'd be more comfortable writing down all he's planning to do to me...

That might be a reason I have this desperate need to climb through the window and get inside Baz’s room. It's because I want to discover every dark thought about me he's ever had. (My desire to smell his room is harder to explain. I might be just curious if there's still that lingering scent of cedar or bergamot in his room as it was at our room back at Watford.)

I’m very sure the whole notebook is filled with references about me and how much he hates me and wants to bring my downfall.

This could be it. I'd know everything… 

Still, I don't want to sneak in because then I’ll be done uncovering his plots. 

I mean I don't dare to sneak in, just in case Baz would know that I've been there, of course… That is the only reason. 

Honestly, I'd rather listen to him, since I’m sure he’ll be mumbling his plots out loud sooner or later… he might mention a newest addition to his strategies to kill me that isn't written down yet.

Besides, who knows maybe I won't be able to read his handwriting anyway... Although, I know it is precise and perfect just like him. It's possible he's written in code.

That must be it.

So it is better to just absorb him instead… I meant to say _observe_ him. I have no idea why wrong words keep attacking my head, especially while thinking about Baz.

As I wait for him to come back to his room, I keep thinking about what happened the other day...

I wonder if he’s going to wear a lot of clothing today or maybe he’ll remove some items like yesterday.

Not that I care either way. However, it has been getting warmer lately, so it might be beneficial for him to be less dressed — for health issues, so he doesn't get sunstroke, or overheat and get a headache. 

Do vampires get headaches? Probably. Baz is mostly human, he just has advantages. He’s a superhuman, I guess. 

He's still not here, so I spend at least half an hour, leaning against the tree trunk, thinking of the reasons it’d be better for him to be naked. Sorry, less dressed… These wrong statements that are coming out are real pain. Words are hard for me as it is. Now I can't even think straight. 

Baz finally shows up, as beautiful as ever wearing a dark shirt and black jeans, his hair is tied back. It suits him, even though I prefer his hair loose around his face, preferably when his mouth is slightly parted and he's moaning.

Unfortunately, I don't get to have a good look at him since he leaves for his washroom immediately, as soon as he comes through the door. 

He’s probably going to take a shower. I wonder if he’s going to get himself off there. 

Not that I care what Baz does. I mean, of course I care what he does, but only in the interest of finding out what his next scheme will be. 

The thing is that I can see pretty well with my binoculars. I bought a very reliable and expensive pair. I would have used all my last month's salary on them if I had to, just to be able to see Baz better since he is clearly conspiring against me in his bed.

Though seeing as Baz hasn’t glanced even once at his window (he certainly isn't aware of my presence), I thought it would undoubtedly be more practical and useful to get closer. So I can see better what he’s doing while possibly wanking. _No_ , while possibly plotting. I need to uncover every piece of scheme he is hatching. 

There’s a tree right in front of his window. It would give me a much better vantage point. It just makes sense to claim that tree instead, in order to get closer to Baz. (To keep an eye on him.) And the tree is covered in leaves. I’ll be properly camouflaged there.

As time goes by, I’m starting to think that Baz might be wanking in there after all. (Something was tightening inside my stomach at that thought for some reason.)

It takes almost forty minutes for him to come out from the washroom. (I was keeping an eye on my watch.) 

But now that he’s back I’m not so sure anymore if he already got himself off or not. He doesn't actually look as though he’s been wanking. He probably just took a long shower as he does back at Watford.

The reason I’m assuming this is due to him looking a bit tense. Has he had a bad day?

I’m sure he will look happy and satisfied after he wanks.

That's definitely very good that he hasn't gotten himself off yet, it's just not that comfortable to wank in the shower. Even if he has a bathtub, it's not as soft as a bed.

Baz is wearing nothing except for a towel around his waist. There are still water drops on his body and his hair is wet, framing his face in lazy waves. I like that… He’s extra fit and he's practically naked. His smooth chest is wet too. 

Now that I can see more of him, it seems that his skin is smooth everywhere. I check with my binoculars just to be sure — look him up and down, slowly.

I'm happy to report there’s no visible hair on his chest, stomach or anywhere that I can see… (He’s still wearing a towel.)

I wonder if he uses a spell or if he's hairless like that cat Penny likes — the Sphinx. 

Shouldn't Baz then not have any hair on his head either and no eyebrows? (He’d still look _beautiful_ — he always does, no matter what.)

Now that I think about it, don't those cats have whiskers though? I'm not familiar with the intricacies of sphinxes obviously, so I can't say for sure…

After I'm fully satisfied with examination of his chest and stomach, I give his arms and long legs, (that stretch for miles), a look. 

That's when I notice some hair so not like that cat after all…

I keep going. Obviously, I was searching for the lack of hair, but I also made sure to get a few glimpses of his eyes and his lips too.

It's easier to look at his eyes when he isn't looking back, less scary… I might drown in them otherwise. (Must be a vampire thing.)

Now that I’m done inspecting his flawless smooth chest I can't help but wonder if water on Baz’s body would taste different than water from a water bottle? 

Not that I care one way or another. I’m very confident that I don’t want to taste water droplets covering his smooth bare chest, certainly not by licking him.

Baz looks so hot wet. It must be easier to plot while looking sexy like that seeing as it gives one the good self-esteem necessary for evil plans.

He settles on his bed just like yesterday, laying on his back and starts palming himself. But it’s better this time. The towel leaves not much to the imagination. I can see it bulging up. 

Not that I’m paying any particular attention to his crotch. But you never know what he might be hiding under that towel. (Could be a _huge_ weapon.)

Merlin, it's getting warmer again. I’m also getting so flushed, I can burn up right now, or explode in some unknown manner...

Baz is touching his stomach, in an elegant way and letting his fingers wander slowly down his body. 

Is that what they call live art? 

He’s so fit — _too_ _fit_ surely. He might blind people with his flawless radiating body. I have my magic to protect me, so I'll be alright watching him. (Even though it's a close call.)

I really don't want anyone to see Baz this little dressed. Just thinking about that makes me very angry, I want to punch something.

It's probably a result of my worry over those people’s health. I care a lot about others and wouldn't want anyone to go blind from looking at him.

My whole body is tense with anticipation of what is going to happen… Is Baz going to be wanking, will he lose that towel at some point? 

Just as I'm on the verge of exploding with this nervous energy, his hand reaches the towel and wanders under it. 

Then finally, he lets all that unnecessary fabric disappear away from his body. The motion of his hands sliding the towel off makes me feel overly excited. (Now I can get a better look and see what kind of weapon he was hiding.)

I see his cock which frankly could and should be considered a weapon. It looks dangerous and alluring as only a good sword can...

Oh… Baz is hard, _very_ hard. And his cock is unsurprisingly just as stunning as the rest of him — alabaster grey, flawless, lean long lines. 

I wonder how it would feel to the touch... (Simply for scientific purposes only due to Baz being a vampire and a mage.)

Baz licks his palm and he makes this simple deed look very posh.

It’s getting way too hot here. Honestly, what is wrong with the weather?

Nevermind the weather, I can now hear Baz moaning softly as he wraps his elegant fingers around his very hard (and practically muscular) cock. He sounds so sensual like this. 

I have to stay and listen even if I end up with a heat stroke from the sun. (I don't see it, must be extra powerful today, burning through your typical British immense veil of clouds.) 

Good thing I moved closer; I can't miss any noises slipping from his full, delicious, pouty lips...

I mean, he may murmur some plots while moaning.

Merlin… I can’t get enough of the sounds he's making. 

Despite being able to see his lips from here, I use my binoculars for more detailed examination; probably in order to try and find any flaws in them. 

There are none — everything about Baz is extraordinary, his lips included. If anything they are one of the most perfect things about him, right after his deep grey eyes, that are far too dangerous for me (seeing as he's a vampire and a mage) and his perfect appetising looking cock.

Eventually, I had to put my rucksack on my crotch and press it into myself for safe keeping, while watching him. (There’s simply no other place to put it. Obviously, I’m not enjoying myself in the slightest.)

Baz is working thoroughly on his hard cock, pulling and squeezing. And he’s also doing something with his wrist that I never knew people could do. (It’s not how I do it.)

That’s some quality plotting right there. He’s obviously scheming while wanking. Must be a thing for evil vampires I wasn’t aware of.

“ _Yes_...” I hear him gasp and I don’t think I’m getting enough air to breathe. (Is he sucking all the air out of the atmosphere as a result of him being a vampire and a mage?) (That must be it.)

Baz is making a lot of noises. “Fuck...” “Oh...” “Yes...” And they all go straight to my cock for an unknown reason. 

Is it possible that he is speaking (gasping) with _magic_ while he wanks? 

Since I obviously missed magic a lot, it shouldn’t be that surprising that finally hearing magic makes my cock hard and aching for a release. (Yes, that sounds reasonable.)

Baz moans again, his lips are slightly parted as he comes in his fist, shuddering and arching his back in a pretty and elegant way only he can. (It's a fair assumption, due to him being the best looking and most elegant person in the whole wide world.) 

His hair is still lazily framing his beautiful face. I really wish he would let it be in this manner more often.

Baz looks so good like this. And right now, his face is very relaxed and peaceful. I like that a lot. 

_Fuck._

I’ve just noticed that I’ve been moving my rucksack furiously against my crotch. (I’m very hard, and leaking precome.)

There is no time to think about that properly because Baz just licked his own come from his finger. 

Jesus fucking _Christ_... 

Suddenly I’m overly curious how his come would taste if he’d put his finger in my mouth right now. Would I only lick it or suck on it too? (It’s for science with him being a vampire and a mage. That’s why I’m curious.)

Bloody Hell, I just came in my pants. 

That makes no sense since I haven’t uncovered any plots yet. (Could be the excitement over plots I’m yet to expose in the future… Makes total sense.) 

Baz wipes his hand on the towel, gets up hastily and goes back to his washroom. (To clean up more thoroughly I guess.) 

He sure leaves quickly to his washroom every time. It’s probably on account of him being very tidy. 

In our room at Watford he never leaves anything just lying around, he gets upset when I throw things on the floor. I guess it should make me angry. It really doesn't. It's endearing how passionate he gets about certain things. (I try not to think too much about that.)

Nevertheless, this situation right here with him leaving is extremely disappointing. I'd really want to watch him just after he had an orgasm. 

Solely due to people being prone to spill their deepest darkest secrets while satisfied, bathing in the afterglow of pleasure. He could have mumbled his newest plan to dispose of me...

Which means that I still haven’t found out anything about what he’s plotting. (He’s hiding it well.) 

So I do have to come back. It’s for the greater good, after all. I have the moral obligation to do so.

However, this stakeout is getting messier than I would have thought. I need to remember to bring an extra pair of pants with me tomorrow, (just in case.)

When I get back to my room above the bakery, I spend the evening wanking and thinking about Baz and his plots.

* * *

The next day, I walk to Baz’s house right after work with a few sandwiches and a water bottle. (It's much nicer to eat with a good view.)

I settle in the tree just outside of his bedroom window and start on an early dinner. Otherwise, I'm worried I won't get to eat anything at all when back in my room due to obsessive wanking like yesterday.

The only reason I came back today is the undeniable want I'm experiencing towards Baz, as in I want to know what he is up to. Just to clarify — _not_ because I wanted to see him (preferably naked.)

When he enters his bedroom, my heart skips a beat. As mentioned previously Baz is absolutely perfect. I've known this for years and still every time I see him, after being apart, his beauty hits me like a tsunami.

This time he doesn’t leave to take a shower. Instead, he starts undressing right in front of me. (He doesn't actually know I'm watching.)

I finally get to see Baz taking off his clothes. (He always gets dressed in the ensuite back at Watford and never walks shirtless like I do.) 

He is shedding his clothing so slowly, almost as if he isn't sure if he should. (He should, he definitely should.) (I mean I don’t care one way or another. Unless he’s hiding weapons under those layers of clothes, which he might be.)

It takes him forever to get out of his button up and it's painful to wait for so long. At the same time I'm enjoying all his movements, flawless and elegant and unhurried just like him...

When I get a better look of his chest, my stomach tightens into a knot. Baz’s chest looks perfect, smooth and flawless, the muscles are lean and beautiful. 

With a body so perfect combined with his alabaster grey skin, Baz looks like one of those fancy statues they have in museums for posh people. (The naked ones with the grapes.) 

Baz is _so_ fucking fit and he looks even better while undressing.

When Baz’s hand wanders down and he starts palming himself through his pants, I stop breathing for a few seconds. The way his fingers follow the outline of his cock is breathtaking…

I don't think I've seen anything this hot, him fondling his very hard cock through the fabric.

It doesn't take long before he is removing the last piece of clothing, and for just a few seconds while he’s sliding his pants down, I get a glance of his behind. 

Baz starts touching his out-of-this-world arse, and I have no idea what is happening anymore. My mind goes blank from anything other than the image of his bottom and his hands on it.

Suddenly, I hear a crack. (Baz doesn't hear it.)

Oh, I must have tripped on some branch here in the tree since I almost fell down. I don't think it's because the sight of his bum affects me this much. The tree is moving, or the branches, maybe it's the gravity...

Where was I?

Baz’s arse is flawless and muscular, due to him playing football for years.

My heart is thumping very fast and hard after seeing his perfect behind. (I’m simply very envious that he has one that looks like that and I don’t.) (Nothing else.)

I wish I could have seen more of his bum.

But there’s so much more of him to enjoy (I mean to absorb, no — _observe_ ), I can't even be mad about him getting his arse out of my view.

He starts touching himself and I have no idea what to do with myself. (I may have an idea but better not to think about that too much.)

Baz is caressing his flawless body, pulling on his hair. I want to do that to him and to thread my fingers through his silky hair.

Baz is so sexy, everything he does is graceful and beautiful. The way he slides his finger over his mouth. I can't look away.

He’s been touching himself everywhere, moaning elegantly as he reaches his nipple. His eyes are very beautiful but he looks just as good with them closed and his mouth slightly parted — _moaning_.

When Baz moves his hands across his own body (painstakingly slow), he looks like something I want to eat or lick. 

The reason is simple — he is a vampire and eats people and I’m probably hungry (for food not for him) and my brain just got its wires crossed with all that and got some sexual vision out of it all.

Everything has a logical explanation if you give yourself time to think about it.

I’m getting too hot again even though I only put on a very thin t-shirt and the thinnest trackies I own. It wasn't for the sake of easier access to my cock through the fabric. No, only due to summers in England getting warmer. (Since approximately three days ago.)

Speaking of weather. 

Why is it even hotter today? It might be that climate change Penny constantly talks about, kicking in.

Watching how fit and perfect Baz is giving me butterflies in my stomach. (I’m jealous of his body.) (No other reason.)

After removing every single piece of his closing, he lays down on the bed, on his back. 

He looks even hotter somehow, as if I instinctively want him on his back for some reason. I literally have no idea why I'd feel this way...

Then he picks up a small bottle of something from his nightstand drawer and opens the lid. I think it might be _lube._ He pours some into his palm and starts to touch his cock, slowly…

As I’m enjoying the view of Baz tugging on his cock, moving his hand in all the right directions along his shaft, getting harder, I’m having difficulties focusing.

Oh, yeah, I remember now — he’s plotting something and I need to know what that is.

Let’s see…

Yes, his hand is working up quite a rhythm. Could I mimic it if I try right now? 

Not because I want to wank in front of Baz while watching him but for a simple reason of him obviously being an expert at this. What can I say, I’m not ashamed to learn new things. I'm very education oriented. I've spent years watching him back at Watford. 

Probably because I'm so focused on his skill, I lose my footing and almost fall down again.

The acoustics are pretty good here in the tree, I hear Baz moan loud and clear. Every sound makes my whole body shake and my stomach flip over...

Baz is more vocal today than he was yesterday. (Must be the weather getting to him just like it’s getting to me.) 

“Oh, yes,” flies right out from his luxurious posh lips. It's very loud and makes my cock _twitch_...

What was I doing just now?

For some unknown reason I have troubles concentrating on anything when he sounds like that. And he isn’t slowing down either. 

Not that I want him to. I mean it's not my place to tell Baz how slow or fast he should be wanking or moaning. He should probably continue just like he does for his own benefit, _not_ mine. Since I'm definitely not enjoying myself in the least, neither do I crave him like butter, maybe even more. 

Nonetheless, I'm sure it must feel amazing for him to wank in this passionate, sensual manner, putting all his concentration into a single deed — to achieve the ultimate pleasure. That's what I want — to pleasure Baz. 

No wait. That's not what I meant obviously. 

I want to explain what it is I want but Baz moans just then. His mouth makes a perfect circle when an “Oh…” flies out and I’m not even sure what I was about to say anymore.

Merlin, it's extremely difficult to keep any coherent thoughts at all. This weather we've been having is clearly affecting my attention a lot.

I’m trying very hard to think of what I should do now and what I was doing. (I can't remember anymore.) 

However, before I get any luck with that, Baz starts fucking his fist while sliding one of his fingers in his mouth and sucking on it. And now he moans even louder, despite having to moan around his finger. 

I get very lightheaded from watching that, lose my balance and almost trip again, one foot barely scraping the tree and getting stuck between the branches somehow. I had to snap a branch to free my leg. (I don't think Baz could hear me since he's moaning loudly.) 

All in all, it was a close call. 

The only reason this accident happened is because I couldn’t understand how he was doing so many things at the same time. I was simply very impressed with his skill.

Obviously, the whole thing (the vision of the expert multitasking, nothing else) caught me by surprise and therefore I almost fell down from the tree. 

That’s when I also noticed that I had one hand down my truckies and was pulling on my _very_ hard cock. (When did I start doing that?) It must have been the reason why it was so difficult to get my footing back. 

Apparently, despite almost falling down, I kept on wanking… I guess I shouldn't stop then since I'm already at it. 

Obviously, I'm well aware by now that I may have broken several ethical laws. (I try not to think about it as usual, but that list is piling up.)

So I get situated in a better position, leaning against the tree trunks, and keeping both feet on sturdier branches while watching Baz get himself off. I've never seen a bloke (that isn't me) do that — it's mesmerising.

I've noticed that since I started coming to the tree, my magic seems more focused. I remember Baz telling me when we were fighting the chimera.

 _“Light a match inside your heart, then blow on the tinder.”_

But I still couldn't do it because my magic was out of control at the time. However now, while watching Baz get himself off and doing it myself I can feel it — calm and steady. I wonder if Baz had just said _heart_ but actually meant _cock_ simply because he was embarrassed to admit that. Or maybe they are connected somehow...

The calluses on my hand are rough and I didn't bring any lube with me. For a moment I concentrate on that thought alone. Usually my magic doesn't listen to me or lashes out somehow. But right now just watching Baz wanking made my own cock magic up lube. 

Suddenly my cock is slick and everything feels better. I work faster with my hand as I watch Baz.

He looks so good with his finger in his mouth, sucking on it with his lips curled around and moving in and out _seductively_. I’m abruptly out of breath and getting lightheaded again. (Those two circumstances are definitely not connected to each other.)

My eyes are glued to his beautiful lush mouth, but they also need to watch his hard flawless cock. 

For a moment it's almost too much. Where shall I look? I want to watch all of him, absorb every inch of his body. 

Baz is so much more than his lips and his cock — all of him is glamorous. I'd also want to see more of his arse, it wasn't enough before.

Suddenly he increases the speed, fucking his fist fast while sucking deliciously on his finger and moaning _more_.

It's so incredibly hot that I explode with a bit too loud “Fuck” and probably even a growl. 

At the same time Baz is arching his back and orgasming himself while gasping around his finger, his lips and cock glistening pretty... (How is he so hot?) 

Baz closes his eyes, then opens them. Then he wipes his hand on the towel lying next to him. He closes his eyes again and for a moment I think he might be falling asleep. It would mean that I might be able to watch him for longer. I like the idea of that for a very simple reason. 

It has nothing to do with Baz smiling in his sleep when he has pleasant dreams back at Watford and me wanting to see that smile again since I've been away from him for a whole month and missed him a lot.

Of course not. I'm simply thinking ahead. What if Baz would mumble a few plots in his sleep?

Unfortunately, he opens his eyes a few moments later and gets up from his bed. 

Eventually, after standing still for a few moments, he walks to his washroom to clean up but slower than yesterday. 

At first, I think he might be going for his wardrobe. It seems as if he is heading that way.

Baz probably wants to grab some clothing but then changes his mind. I wonder what he will wear when he comes back. Will he be wearing anything at all — clothes or a dressing gown or does he walk around his room nude? 

It doesn't actually matter. Baz looks amazing in everything, dressed or naked.

Thank magic we came at the same time. There’s no way he could have heard me while he was busy orgasming himself. 

My position hasn’t been compromised. 

And that’s important. This whole mission depends on him not knowing that I’m here. 

Wait... what mission was I on again? 

Oh yeah… Baz plotting… Right… I remember that. Why do I find it so difficult to think? Must be that climate change...

I can’t stop thinking about Baz wanking and how he looked while doing that and how hot that was.

Huh… I never realized that straight blokes could get off that way. 

Maybe I should try sucking on my own finger while wanking back in my room? Just as an experiment since I like science.

And while sucking on my own finger I should probably think about Baz’s finger in my mouth instead. 

Certainly, it’s just his finger that does the trick. It is a very slender and elegant looking finger after all. (That must be why it looks so sexy when he was sucking on it.) (Makes sense.) 

Agatha’s fingers are probably not as slender. Truthfully, I’m just guessing here. I actually have no idea what her fingers look like. I know she’s beautiful in general since everyone back at Watford says that; so it must be true. 

I just never paid too much attention to the details or her body or her face. Never had time, really, not with Baz plotting, playing both football and the violin, drinking tea, walking to class, doing his homework… 

That’s a lot of Baz activity to monitor through the day, innit? So clearly I’ve been too busy to look at Agatha’s fingers or any other part of her. 

There’s just not enough hours in the day to pay attention to everything and Penny always says it’s important to prioritise the right things.

That's exactly what I've been doing for seven years. I may not be sure of many things in my life and have long lists of everything I'm not allowed to acknowledge. But there is one universal truth out there I’d never doubt. 

There can never be anything or anyone more important than Baz.

That is why I can’t fantasize about Agatha’s fingers. I just don’t know how they look. It certainly has nothing to do with the thought of her finger in my mouth making me go slack. (I’m very sure of that fact!)

On a happy note, I’m really glad I didn’t forget to bring that extra pair of pants with me. Should remember that for next time too. 

Probably might just need to stack up on a few in my rucksack, just to be sure. You can never be too prepared.

* * *

When I come back to my room, I shed all my clothing as fast as I can, throwing it all on the ground around me. 

Then I think about Baz and how he gets stressed when there's a mess, so I pick everything up and put in a pile at the end of my bed instead. I'm not planning to have him over or anything. Just, in case he can sense me holistically I guess… Or was it telepathically… The World of Mages is still a mystery to me. With Baz being a person, a mage _and_ a vampire, things obviously get very complicated.

Afterwards I lay down on my bed and get comfortable. I bought some lube while I was out shopping for binoculars. (The two purchases weren’t related in any way.)

It’s some kind of citrus scented since I like citrus, I guess. I'm confident that it doesn't make me think about Baz at all.

After pouring a healthy amount of lube on my palm I start touching myself but I’m not hard at all. 

Then I remember Baz’s finger in his mouth, sucking and licking and all the sexy noises he was making while moving his hips, thrusting his hard cock against his fist.

Oh, it seems I was hard all along. (Must have just missed it somehow.)

I mean I should try the finger, right? If Baz enjoys it I might too. (He is clearly an expert.)

With that decision made I move my finger to my lips, close my eyes and lick it. Doesn’t do much though... 

Wait! I was supposed to think about Baz’s finger.

Yes... I imagine him laying here next to me thrusting his finger in my mouth, moving it around and in and out… in and out... in and out…

“Fuck…”

I’m sucking fast and hungrily and Jesus fucking _Christ_ it’s so good.

I never came this hard in my life. Except for earlier but that doesn't count because it was Baz and me together, well close to each other. 

I mean… Of course, it’d be better with him nearby. He’s perfect so everything is perfect while I'm next to him...

What I'm trying to say is this solo wanking is the best I ever had _alone_. 

I was right about there being something very special about Baz’s finger though — thinking about sucking it made all the difference. 

Who knew I’d enjoy sucking this much...

Oh, while walking and thinking about Baz, his body and his finger, I forgot to try that wrist vampire thing he was doing earlier. 

First I need to take a small break and gather my thoughts. 

I’m just lying in my bed now, thinking about Baz. 

Truth be told, this is very familiar territory. I’ve been doing that for years.

Originally I wanted to eat some scones after wanking but I might need to push scones till after I go for a second round here. I _need_ to do this first. 

As I'm getting myself off for the second time, while thinking about Baz, I can’t help but wonder what else he could put in my mouth...

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Baz's POV a lot, but Simon has most of the ridiculous gems for now. 😂


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised chapter.
> 
> * * *

# BAZ

As I enter my room after the afternoon tea I am immediately accosted by the scent of Snow. He’s here again. I didn’t scare him off by licking come from my finger.

For a moment I don't dare to believe my luck. Truthfully, it comes as a surprise. After the incident, I was convinced Snow is now disgusted by me. 

Daydreaming about him notwithstanding, I assumed that I could say goodbye to this interaction ever repeating, (if one could call it that.)

I've spent the whole evening worried about the fact that I'd never see him again, (not until school starts). Well, not precisely the whole evening…

Despite all the overwhelming anxiety about the topic of Snow possibly being repulsed by me, I've managed to squeeze in a few wanks here and there; more than a few if I am to be entirely honest with you. 

In fact, I've had six glorious orgasms to the memories of his breathing and his scent.

I am well aware that you might think I'm speaking of Snow’s magic here. You could not be more wrong if you tried.

Certainly, his magic is intoxicating — Simon smells of smoke and I am nothing if not weak for a good flame. 

You can blame my genes for that. I come from a long line of fire magicians—two long lines, the Grimms and the Pitches. I was doomed from the start — before I even met Snow.

Regardless of that, the _real_ addictive drugs are Snow’s skin, his precome and his blood. (I'd never bite him, of course. I love him too much for that.) 

And, yes, of course, some naive part of me hoped he would be curious enough to come back. Is he curious? Is it why he's here?

Now that he's back, I start to wonder whether or not my initial assumption was correct and Snow did come while watching me yesterday afternoon.

Could it be true? What does it even mean?

Possibly Snow isn’t as purely heterosexual as I always believed him to be.

Nevertheless, my main concern right now is following. 

How do I go about making him come again? Is there anything I could perform _sexually_ that could accomplish that? And what does it need to be? I'm well aware that I may be less than flexible in my everyday life. Yet I have no limits when it comes to Snow and what I'm both willing and want very much to do for him, with him, near him...

I want everything and anything...

However, a more pressing question is what I'm capable of performing right in front of Snow? This isn't something I have experience with…

Sure I'm used to him watching me. Simply not in this manner — of a _sexual_ kind.

Is it sexual for him? What is he thinking about while watching me? Why does he keep coming back? 

It can't be to accuse me of plotting this time, can it? Even Simon Snow can't be this thick…

Perhaps this is all a part of experimentation for him… I don't even care that he sees me as nothing more than a circus animal, dancing for him.

These are my fifth year's fantasies coming to life, him watching me, him being close as I reach my sweet release.

Still, it's all happening so fast. My nerves are getting out of hand at a rapid speed. 

It would probably seem too suspicious if I take a shower again. (Pretend to take a shower, really.)

Am I ready to undress in front of him?

I’m not quite sure. 

Certainly, I could always try and see how it goes. I start on my button up and it takes a great effort for my hands not to shake. I never undressed in front of anyone before. 

I only ever wanted to undress in front of Snow and I am doing just that right now.

Crowley, this whole endeavour is nerve wracking. 

However, I did wank yesterday with Snow watching and it went fine. Surely I can manage the simple removal of a few pieces of clothing.

I’m still trying to work on the buttons while contemplating everything that is happening. 

My hands are still not shaking. ( _Good_. I count that as a win.)

Eventually, I’m done taking off my button up. 

_You did it, Basilton._ The worst is over. 

Well not quite… I still need to remove my trousers. I unbutton the flies and try to concentrate just on that one task and not think about Snow up in the tree watching it all. If I think about that too much I might lose any composure and control over my body I have left.

This is excruciating. It’s arousing as fuck, but at the same time, it’s also terrifying.

I take a deep breath and start rolling down my trousers. At first, I was planning to get the pants off at the same time. However, the shaking of my hands made me miss the waistband and it would look suspicious if I tried to double back...

When I finally manage to get out of my trousers I’m all nerves.

My pants are still on… They do need to be discarded as well.

This was more difficult than I believed. My breathing is getting ragged and not in a good randy way. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm already hard as a rock, courtesy of Snow’s presence and his delicious scent. Yes, I mean his skin and blood. His magic is pleasant as well. It's that extra reminder of him — a bonus.

Nonetheless, despite me being this aroused I'm still feeling anxious. 

My main concern is obvious. What if Snow is offended by my undressing? 

I've never done this before, not with an audience. I don't know how to be sexy, I'm awkward if anything. 

Suddenly, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole enterprise. Sure, he came back after watching me wank yesterday and the day before.

However, that does not indicate in any way that this is why he is here, that he wants to see me wank again or undress for that matter. I’m worried about losing some of my erection.

But that’s when I very clearly hear Snow’s breath catch. (Is he by any chance enjoying watching me undress?)

He’s breathing hard and the encouragement helps me move my hand to the waistband of my pants — black and tight. (I look good in them if I do say so myself.)

My erection hasn't recede. Though it hasn't grown much either — it's the nerves. I want to be fully hard by the time I’m done undressing. 

There might be a need for more external help. 

Therefore, I start palming myself through the fabric. It feels good and I hear Snow reacting, his breathing hitching. 

I'm getting a brilliant idea as I go. I start by outlining the curve of my cock with my fingers and wait for a response. Snow’s breathing is hitching and despite what I was doing earlier, _that_ is the biggest turn on. 

While trying to keep my hand steady I take a hold of my cock through the fabric with my whole hand. Snow groans at that. Just to be on the safe side I glance discreetly in the mirror. Snow is flushed everywhere I can see and palming his cock. 

My mind is finally settling down and that is also when I can smell his precome. 

It doesn’t take long before I’m at full erection. I squeeze myself through the fabric a few more times and listen to him moan…

Alright then, I might be ready to continue. Carefully, I slide my pants down to my hips and let him see how hard I am for him. (Well, Snow doesn’t actually know that it’s for him.)

Then I wonder if there’s anything more I could show him… 

I turn around slightly on pretences of continuing to remove my pants and let him see more of me — my derrière in particular. I hear a loud and clear “Fuck”. I take it as a good encouragement and slide my hands towards my behind and linger, keep caressing it.

There are strange sounds coming from outside the window. What is Snow doing? I chance a quick glance in the mirror.

He’s battling a branch with his feet. Does this by any chance indicate he was so into watching me squeeze my arse that he lost his footing? Unless he got stuck in the tree. Is that why he’s still here? Not because he wanted to but simply due to him not being able to leave?

Just as I'm about to panic I can very clearly see his hand down his trackies. 

What's this? Snow was wanking while watching me and he almost fell down from the tree. This might indicate he was indeed into what we were doing...

Just to be sure that he indeed is reacting to me I start moving my hands across my body a bit and listen carefully for any breathing or possibly any other activities.

Snow is breathing heavily and my mind goes into the best spiral of my life — the wild, sexual kind, even if I'm still nervous. Does this indicate that there's _chemistry_ between us? It has been so for me… I just assumed it was one sided… 

Does he want me or is this experimenting on his part, or is he simply bored? (As if I truly care; I take anything he’ll give me.)

My hands are trembling a notch from stress and intense excitement combined. I start by touching the side of my neck, feather-light, while one finger lingers on my earlobe, going in smooth circles. 

In truth, it's for the sake of my mental steadiness and due to it being one of the most sensitive spots of mine. 

I crave his fingers there and his lips. Even teeth — grazing… I wouldn't want it too hard, just enough to feel and to lose any resemblance of control. Not that there is much left of that as it is with him this close; watching, breathing heavily.

Eventually, the caressing gives me enough pleasure that I’ve calmed down a bit. So I let my whole hand wander to the back of my neck while squeezing gently and pulling on a few strands of my hair.

It feels good. Nevertheless, what feels even better is a loud _moan_ escaping Snow’s mouth…

I know the right touch to make me get aroused, to experience pleasure. I want to show it to Simon. Show all of me… 

Yes, of course, it's foolish behaviour. Still, he's here, watching me. He may not want me but he wants something… Will he want me? Is this simply my imagination speaking?

I'd rather not think too much about reality. I have better things to occupy my mind with.

Every touch I make increases the tension inside of me. The good kind, the one that will erupt into an orgasm right in front of Simon Snow. Crowley, I will come while he's watching — again. 

It's a struggle not to look in the mirror. I crave to see him. I so wish I was able to watch him get aroused. I want him hard and wanting, wanting _me_.

No, you don't have to bring me back to bitter reality, I'm not a moron. I know he doesn't want me, he never will. 

Tears will come later along with the bittersweet realization that the highpoint of my summer, of my so called life, is Snow spying on me through the window. 

_Pathetic_ isn't a strong enough word to describe me. And I don't even care. I never had much of an ego. I'm used to the feeling of being lesser than him… Less alive, less likeable, simply less... Simon Snow is my whole universe and I'm nothing to him. 

Yet at this moment I let myself pretend; for once my mind is letting me have this happy fairy tale.

And let me tell you that my brain creates some top notch fantasies. Not a moment ago I could swear I heard Snow whispering my name — moaning my name.

Who cares that it's merely an illusion? It will give me an excellent orgasm. When true love and happily ever after are reserved for other people, better people, _actual_ people — a good orgasm is the best consolation prize I could ever have asked for. 

This is more than enough, more than I would have dared to dream of a week ago. Simon this close to me, without him calling me a monster, is the greatest moment of my existence. 

I pull a bit more on the strands of my hair by the nape and close my eyes from the pleasure of imaging Snow doing that to me. It's easier to picture those things when he's here and breathing heavily… I tilt my head backwards and let a moan escape my lips because it feels that good.

Snow is panting now and it fuels me with both lust and courage.

I'm going to explore my whole body with him watching. 

My eyelids flutter involuntarily as one of my fingers grazes my nipple — hard and sensitive on account of me being extremely aroused. My whole body is aching for Snow, begging for release…

I have no control over the direction my mind is taking… Even so, I make sure to not look at Snow. I can't afford the risk of him figuring out that I'm aware of his presence.

Sometimes I think I wish I knew what he's thinking. Other times, when I have more sanity present, I comprehend how bad it would be for me to actually know… I doubt it's anything good. 

I'm still not sure what he's doing here. Why is he here? 

_Stop it Basilton_ , I tell myself and let my mind drift off to more pleasant topics…

I continue caressing myself, my neck and then moving fingers across my cheek to my jaw and finally my mouth. My lips part as one of my fingers is sliding across my bottom lip, with my whole face following the movement. 

As I imagine it to be Snow’s finger, my whole body becomes desperate and trembling with anticipation. I let my fingertip slowly slide over the tender part of my bottom lip and lick it.

Snow growls at that and the sound seems to bounce back off every wall and invade my mind and my heart in the most erotic way imaginable. 

Alright. It’s going good then. I’m getting so randy from all the overly obscene noises coming from the tree — from Snow that I really _need_ to wank now or might possibly go insane.

The sensation building inside me is greater than before. It's because he sounds so hot when he’s breathing and moaning.

I take out a bottle of lube from my nightstand and settle on my bed, lying down on my back in a way that would give Snow the best view of my cock. 

For a few more moments I caress myself some more, sliding my hand all over my torso and listen to his breathing hitch. (Those noises are doing unspeakably erotic things to me.)

After such extended anticipation, I finally pop the lid of the bottle and squeeze some lube on my palm. 

Then I take hold of my hard cock and start moving alongside the base, twirling my fingers just right at the tip, the way I like it. 

It feels so good to pleasure myself while he watches.

How could I ever go back to solo wanking?

That isn’t necessarily true. I’m still doing the solo act. I wanked all evening yesterday remembering what I thought was my imagination of Snow coming. (I’m not so sure that was purely my imagination, now.)

I’m gasping louder now. I’m really not doing this on purpose. This is all Snow’s doing.

While I'm in mid moan I hear a few very more growls escape Snow’s lips at my gasps and I’m done for it. The sensation is so intense and the rapture of obscenities is escaping me...

This is so hot. Snow is so hot. (I can’t actually see him. I do hear him loud and clear though.)

All this is sensory overload right here. Yet I can’t stop wondering if it could feel even better? 

Just to kick it up a notch I start rocking in my fist and because Snow didn’t seem to be appalled by my finger in my mouth last time I start sucking on one of my fingers.

This feels very good.

I’ve never done that before. (Sucking my finger is what I’m talking about here.) I wasn’t aware it could feel like that. Perhaps because one might need an audience (more specifically, a Simon Snow audience) for it to feel this good.

I hear another crack and discreetly flick my eyes to the mirror. Is he about to fall off again? His hand is still in his trackies.

I don’t want Simon to get hurt. Yet at the same time knowing that it’s me wanking naked that made him lose his balance… 

Well, that is a very pleasant feeling to experience. Could this possibly indicate that I’m making him lose control in a good way, a sexual way?

I’m trying hard not to come too quickly. I want to savour this, and I want to give Snow time to enjoy himself as well.

But then I hear him growl loud with an equally loud “Fuck…” escaping his lips while he was coming.

That sound went straight to my cock and I came right on the spot.

Aleister Crowley. I’m living a charmed life.

I take back what I said before. This is the best wank I ever had. (And I came with him.) (We came together, Snow and I.)

Frankly, I could have come from those sounds arising from him even without touching myself. It was that hot.

I’m almost too spent to move. But I have to. I have to get to my washroom and give Snow the opportunity to take his leave.

This time I leave for the washroom with a very optimistic view on life. Because at this point, I think it’s fair to assume that Snow will be back for more wanking.

After he leaves, I spend the evening having a little more quality time with myself, replaying the sounds he made in my head. All I want to do is _wank_. 

I always knew Snow was going to kill me. I just never thought it would be like that, through me wanking to memories of him growling with a hand on his cock.

Since I heard him growling I can’t stop thinking about how he must have looked while wanking and coming. I have to see him wank.

* * *

The next day I’m strategically placing several mirrors around my room so that I can see Snow’s face without having the need to look in the mirror in front of the window and in this manner ensure that Snow won’t find out that I know he’s here.

(Crowley, I _am_ plotting! Snow might have been right about me all along.)

Before he is even back I already have a plan brewing in my head. 

Even though I’m still not quite sure how far I should or could go, I decide to take a leap of faith. (Who would have thought me of all people being so spiritual?)

What I’m trying to say is that I’m going to finger myself and see what his opinion on the subject is. 

This I have done before. I’m less sure whether or not it looks sexy to an outsider though. (I haven’t done that while looking in the mirror.)

I just have to hope that Snow will enjoy himself. (Everything I did thus far worked better than expected.)

Perhaps this wouldn’t be an exception.

As I enter the room my heart is about to pump right out of my chest. 

Okay. How can it even be that I’m more nervous now than I was the last few days? After all, I have thought this through, I planned it out meticulously in my head. (Perhaps Snow’s approach of not thinking too hard is the answer.)

I just hope he can’t see what a ball of nerves I am. 

Do I look confident? Because I, sure as fuck, don’t feel anywhere near confident.

What have you gotten yourself into, Basilton?

But there’s no turning back now. 

Fuck, where did I put the lube?

Aleister fucking _Crowley_ , Snow and his sexy growling are turning me into a moron. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised chapter.
> 
> * * *

# SIMON

Baz saunters into his bedroom and he looks so damn confident. (Like he owns the whole world.)

I wonder what he is going to do today. He seems to like doing different things every day. Or perhaps he’s experimenting.

Am _I_ experimenting? Is this what it is? No, I don't think that's it. (Not sure I should ponder too much about what I'm doing here exactly.)

Merlin, I sure am glad that I happened to start coming over here around the same time Baz was up for exploring new things. Lucky coincidence right there. (They do say it’s all about the timing.)

Baz gets in bed and starts moving around; his elegant fingers are rummaging around the scatter cushions.

I'm palming myself already. He looks so good, crawling around his bed on all fours.

Is this? What is this exactly? Is it a _sex_ thing? (It's working for me that's for sure.)

No, wait… Baz seems to be looking for something...

Should I let go of my cock and wait for him then?

That might be the polite thing to do. (Not that Baz knows that I'm here.) (But still. I prefer to always do the right thing, obviously.)

The way Baz moves is mesmerising.

I wonder what would happen if I joined him. Not that I want to, I don't think. Unless it's to help him look.

As it is, I am very observant and he might need some assistance — with anything at all. I'm always ready to help.

Eventually, Baz ends up half spawn, and something flutters in my stomach. It suits Baz to lie on the bed like that.

If I have to be entirely honest, at Watford I enjoyed watching him sleep a lot.

Baz suddenly picks something up from under one of the cushions and I have to adjust my binoculars to see what that is.

Oh, it was lube he was looking for.

Why was it laying on his bed and not in the nightstand where he keeps it?

Does this mean that Baz was using lube before, while I wasn’t here?

Merlin and Morgana, I wish I could have spent more time in the tree watching him. (He might be plotting something in the evening too.)

Today Baz takes off all of his clothes in a few swift moves. I think it’s much better this way, less painful suspense.

Otherwise, I just get too worked up about all those possible weapons he’s hiding. (Especially in and around his pants area. That's where I'm paying attention the most.)

Baz lies down on his back in the middle of the bed and spreads his legs wide open. (He has footballer legs that stretch for miles.)

He looks so good like that, naked spread wide. My chest is getting very tight for some reason. And I feel as if I want something right this moment.

I just can’t quite put my finger on what it is. But my eyes keep lingering somewhere between Baz’s legs. (I don’t really understand this odd overpowering feeling I’m getting here.)

Then Baz reaches for his nightstand and takes out a small plate with... ice cubes?

Are they made of fruit juice? Is he going to suck on them?

The way Baz caresses himself... it's—

I'm pretty sure he’s hypnotising me more and more with every stroke of his fingers. My mouth has gone dry and I'm not getting enough air. (I think I might faint any moment now.)

I can't help but wonder... Is that because Baz is doing it or am I just overly interested in _ice_?

His skin looks so smooth and almost glowing. (Even though I know it makes very little sense.)

I had no idea ice can be hot… but I shouldn't be surprised. I suppose anything Baz would hold in his hands would be.

Baz swipes the ice cube over his lips and I watch it melt slowly, his lips getting wet and glistening _indecently_. (My whole body starts shaking violently, and I'm suddenly running too hot.)

When he places the ice cube between his lips and sucks on it, I almost lose my footing.

 _Christ_.

Baz starts gliding the ice cube across his neck, leaving a trail of water.

My mouth is getting very dry, my throat is tight.

Thank magic I'm wearing loose trackies today; I'm already painfully hard.

Baz keeps moving that ice cube lower, covering his smooth skin with liquid. I want to trace the path with my lips and my tongue; lick all the water off him.

Is it just me or do his abbs glisten in this light as if they had some oil on them? Or is it just Baz glowing from _pleasure_?

Is that how it works? I wouldn't know, I've never experienced this kind of pleasure.

Not that this is a special moment for me or anything such. Just Baz, my greatest enemy, plotting against me with that ice cube.

Everything about what is presently occurring before my eyes is _so hot_. (Which is odd since the ice is cold. Must be some kind of irony of nature.)

Baz is so fit. I wonder what I would lick first on his body if I could… He looks delicious. (I might be just hungry for scones.) (That must be it.)

And then when all the ice has melted away, Baz spreads some lube on his finger and starts to touch… to touch himself…

Well… Well if I’m not mistaken Baz is about to finger himself!

I had no idea straight blokes did that…

Yeah… That’s exactly what he is doing. He started out slow, just moving his finger around the rim. But eventually, he pushed the finger in a little.

For fuck’s sake. What is wrong with this weather?

And why is there no air left? (I’m trying hard not to fall off the tree this time.)

My cock is throbbing. I wrap it in my fist and squeeze a bit. (I don't want to start wanking too soon.)

Baz is now moving his finger around. He is pretty deep in by now. And he just keeps pushing it very slowly in and out a little quicker… And he moans so loud.

I hear Baz's "Oh... yes..."

(I think I'm far too hard now and no amount of squeezing or palming is going to be of help here.) (I need to wank.)

Baz looks so good with his finger up his arse.

I wonder how it would feel if I did that to him instead. Is he warm inside of his arse?

Would he become warmer after I pushed my finger in and out in him for a few minutes? Would he like my finger more than his own?

You might find it to be a little odd that I'm thinking about my finger in Baz’s arse. But it really isn’t.

How does that old saying go now?

_Keep your girlfriend close, but keep your hot vampire roommate you want to lick stuff off closer?_

Maybe it’s not exactly how it is. It’s not like I can remember _everything_.

I have a lot on my mind. Particularly this summer. Baz is plotting so hard I’m not sure it’s wise to leave this tree at any time during the day.

My thoughts are interrupted by Baz gasping loudly. (Would he still be able to gasp with my finger in his mouth?)

I don’t think Baz can hear me or possibly he’s so busy pleasuring himself that he doesn’t pay any attention to his surroundings.

Because I’ve been growling a lot and not even once did he glance towards the window.

That’s what I’m doing right now, growling that is. Because how can I not?

_Just look at him!_

I’m growling and wanking. (My cock is aching from hardness and want.) I brought some lube with me this time.

Lube is a very important component of a stake-out. (I’m sure that’s _common_ knowledge.)

Baz just took hold of his cock. (Fucking finally!) His cock has been leaking for what seems like forever. I can’t help but wonder how his precome would taste. (I must be really into science.)

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to get my hands on some of Baz’s precome.

The moans and gasps that come out of his mouth should be classified illegal. (Should I just tie myself to the tree next time just to make sure I won’t fall down?)

”Christ...” I growl yet again but even louder this time and explode in my fist just as Baz is coming all over his perfect stomach still with one finger inside of his arse.

That’s quite the multitasking ability. (His skill to multitask is the reason I’m shaking this violently, coming completely undone.)

His come looks very appetising on his stomach. I can’t stop myself from imagining licking it off him and trailing kisses around his stomach. (I must be just hungry for food.)

Baz has gone to the washroom again. But I really don’t want to leave.

Who knows maybe he’ll be plotting later…

I just stay for a little longer.

It took almost one hour for Baz to come out fully dressed from his washroom. (Why does it take _so long_ for Baz to clean himself up?)

He seems to be in a bit of a bad mood though and he looks very uncomfortable. Maybe he should wank again? (I’m just thinking purely for his benefit. It could help.)

Baz settles back on his bed and takes out a book from his nightstand and starts to read.

He looks so good holding a book in his hands. (He looks good whatever he is doing.)

After a while, he gets his blue notebook out and writes something in it. Is he taking notes from the book?

Why does he look so _tense_ and _uncomfortable_?

He puts the notebook down eventually, and resumes reading. But he still hasn’t glanced out of the window.

Maybe Baz just doesn’t like the sun at all. I know he is a vampire and can’t spend time out in the too-bright sunshine, but I think he doesn’t even like to look at the sun. (Otherwise, why does he never look out of the window?)

I stay put for a few hours watching Baz. Despite it getting colder something warm is spreading inside my chest when I watch him read.

It takes quite a long time but his mood seems to improve and he even snorts once. (The book must be really funny.)

Then he rummages through the pages for a while. When Baz starts smiling, my stomach fills with butterflies.

Baz with a smile is the prettiest thing I've ever seen.

When someone calls him for dinner I leave too. I wouldn’t have minded staying longer but I have work early tomorrow morning.

* * *

As I get back to my room I can’t get Baz’s face out of my head.

Not just how he appeared when he was fingering himself ( _fucking hot_ ) but also how beautiful he looked when he was reading his book and how I liked it a lot when he snorted.

_Baz is absolutely adorable._

If I have to be entirely honest with myself I think I might be a bit obsessed with Baz.

I mean I always knew I was obsessed with him. However, I thought it was because of him plotting.

Now as I look back at everything that happened this week I can’t escape the sneaking suspicion that I might not be as interested in uncovering his plots as I initially thought I was.

I’m also starting to doubt whether there are any schemes to uncover.

Baz spends his whole summer wanking. That doesn’t exactly scream evil plotting vampire, does it?

Could it be that his plots were all in my head and I just like watching him?

My head hurts from all this intense thinking about difficult subjects.

Baz has always been a difficult subject. That hasn’t changed since I started watching him get himself off. If anything, the wanking makes him even more confusing.

That is why I get my trusty lube out, lay down in my bed and try to finger myself as Baz did earlier (while thinking about Baz’s finger).

I mean Baz’s finger would probably feel very good inside my arse.

Similarly, Baz’s finger would feel very good in my mouth, I’m sure. (It’s a valid assumption.)

But then I decided that I should probably think about one of his fingers in my mouth and another inside my arse.

It just makes sense to double his fingers in order to double the pleasure.

Oh, Merlin, I came harder than yesterday.

Could it be that Baz’s fingers are _magickal_? (Baz is a fire magician after all.)

It would make sense that his hands and fingers especially have more magic in them.

Then I start to wonder if his cock might also be magickal. (Baz has wanked so often, the magic could have transferred over to his cock.)

It could explain all the recent longing I've been experiencing towards Baz's cock.

It's _just_ magic, pure and simple.

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid any confusion, this chapter starts right after 
> 
> ”Fuck, where did I put the lube?  
> Aleister fucking _Crowley_ , Snow and his sexy growling are turning me into a moron.” (Baz end of chapter 4)
> 
> I almost confused myself at first 😂
> 
> * * *
> 
> Revised chapter.
> 
> * * *

# BAZ

I finally located the lube under one of the cushions. (How did it get there and how could I have forgotten to put it back to its rightful place earlier?) 

Snow is turning me in a moron, I am convinced of this now. (I’m a constant disappointment to myself.) 

Still, I don’t mind if it means having him here every day watching me get myself off while wanking himself. 

Alright. I know what I need to do now. I've prepared for this. 

I place the lube next to me and then carefully without letting my hands shake I reach for the nightstand and produce a tiny plate with ice cubes.

I pick one up and gingerly hold it between my fingers. Then slowly I glide it across my bottom lip. 

Snow starts panting and the sound goes right through me, giving the ultimate pleasure and satisfaction to my whole being.

The ice doesn't feel cold at all. 

Snow’s gaze and heavy breathing are making me burn _hot_. I feel nearly feverish with him watching.

Then just to see if it's going to accomplish anything more in regards to my own enjoyment and Snow’s reaction, I curl my lips around the ice cube and _suck_ on it.

He growls loudly and I have to stiffen a moan of pleasure emerging like a tidal wave. 

Aleister Crowley. Who knew that Simon Snow is going to bring my inevitable end, in the _most_ erotic manner possible. 

That sound alone could have made me come right this moment.

I let Snow see how much I'm enjoying a hard object in my mouth. Hopefully he gets what I mean.

There's so much I never even dreamed about before. Him watching me and enjoying himself _thoroughly_. 

I want Snow to know how much he turns me on, how much I want him, _crave_ him. 

I'm practically smouldering under his gaze. I hope he’ll associate this and me sucking on ice with _himself_. 

Ice and Snow go hand in hand after all. First I have ice on me and then Snow.

As I keep sucking on the ice cube, he throws his head, moaning and then almost falls down the tree _again_.

This kind of behaviour is sending me mixed signals of him possibly being into me already. And yet I don't actually dare to hope. I need to stand on course. 

After devouring a few more ice cubes, I glide one across my skin, letting the liquid cover more of me. 

Snow reacts with panting and grunting. It's exceptional and does wonders for me. I could go up in flames from his voice. 

_Burn me, Simon, like only you can._

I'm so hard that I cannot wait a moment longer. 

I let my hand drift down, till it stops at my cock for a moment, and I give myself a few pulls before going farther down, touching myself. 

Finally I lube up my finger and start playing with my rim a little, gliding my finger around it, teasing a bit. 

Suddenly I hear Snow’s breath catch. He likes this. He likes me doing this. 

His breathing strikes me like lightning and makes me feel giddy. 

I want him. I can’t have him but I can have _this_. 

So I let my finger slide inside myself and imagine Snow here with me. (Snow _is_ here. He makes everything better.)

Unfortunately despite every cell of my body craving pleasure and being aroused, I'm still extremely nervous. 

Which means I'm somewhat tense. I need to go slow, to get myself comfortable and back on track.

Having him here is a dream come true. I experience more pleasure this way than I ever did with solo wanking. 

I keep fingering myself gradually until I'm ready to fuck myself at full speed. I need this. And I need him watching. I want Snow to want me.

Snow enjoys watching me finger myself, (I know that for a fact) he is growling so loud I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole of Hampshire can hear him.

And thanks to the mirrors I can see both Snow’s face and his hand deep down his trackies. ( _Very thin_ trackies.) 

All the different noises that are escaping his mouth, they are driving me completely mad. 

We don’t have neighbours but surely it is noisy enough to be heard everywhere? 

Although it is possible that his grunts and growls are only loud to me. Not just because I’m a vampire. No, he tends to take over my whole world...

Simon Snow _is_ my whole world.

I dare another look at him, (still not completely used to this newfound freedom with mirrors). 

Oh fuck, he just started to bite his bottom lip while watching me.

Crowley, that’s _so hot_.

I would bite his lip too if I could, or Snow could bite mine if he would prefer that… 

The scent of his precome is completely taking over my senses; I keep imagining his fingers (or better yet, _his cock_ ) inside of me. 

It feels so good. 

My idea with mirrors was genius. Now I don’t have to throw discreet glances anymore and constantly worry about being caught. 

I can get my full of Snow’s face and his body. 

Watching him never felt this wonderful. (I have never seen him aroused before.) It’s a good look for him. (He should always look like this.)

 _Snow’s a true vision._

His cheeks, his neck and the part of his chest that is visible are flushed. It’s too bad he has to wear so many pieces of clothing. 

Couldn’t he just remove his t-shirt? It’s hardly necessary. I wouldn’t mind Snow removing his trackies either, even if they are quite thin. 

What I’m trying to say is that a naked Snow would have been an infinitely better vision.

All that blood, Snow and his precome. I can’t get enough of him. 

I would keep him there on that tree for the whole day and night if I could. (Well I would rather have him here in my bed with me, feeling his finger in my arse.) 

“Fuck…” he growls.

I wasn’t far from growling myself. I’ve been gasping and moaning more than usual.

“Oh yes…” That was just one of the few noises that escape my lips.

I wonder if Snow would wrap his hand around my aching cock while he fucks me? 

Would he _growl_ in my ear, in my mouth? Would he bite my lip? 

I want him to bite my lip, he can bite whatever he wants. (I am _very_ open minded.)

While playing with my arse I keep imagining him kissing me and fucking me and I’m getting closer and closer to the edge…

I would feel so full with Snow inside of me. I keep pushing my finger in and out harder and faster imagining his cock — big and thick.

I want to be filled by Snow’s cock. 

How hard would he come? Would he come harder because he’s fucking _me_? 

Oh, Crowley, imagine that — Snow filling me up with his come, making me _his_ forever. (I know that's not how it works, I'm not an idiot.)

I wonder if there are any moles on his cock? Maybe on his arse? 

Would he let me lick his moles or his cock? I want to lick him _everywhere_.

When his eyes flash with another wave of pleasure, I almost swoon despite already being on my back. 

Seeing Snow’s face is a true game-changer. 

His shoulders are tense, one arm is gripping the tree and the other is stuffed down his trackies moving frantically. 

But what is affecting me the most are _his eyes_ — focused on me. 

It makes a tremendous difference to this whole experience. Life cannot get better than this. 

Everything feels amazing.

For a moment, I think I am on fire, or _am_ fire — an eternal flame.

My own eyes are fixed on Snow.

There is another bonus to seeing him, besides his eyes. 

His face is very expressive. His jaw is tight and his chin juts out.

Snow looks like he does when he’s fighting me. (This is so much better than fighting.) 

His pupils are blown wide, his throat is moving rapidly, erratically. I can see his Adam’s apple as it catches and trembles… 

It’s a whole scene and I can’t get enough of watching him. 

He’s out of breath already. So am I. I’m not sure I’m even breathing anymore. (If I die now, I’ll die happy.)

I keep fingering myself and think it’s such a shame I haven’t dared using a dildo. 

That would have made imagining his cock so much more realistic. 

Don't get me wrong, I’m still enjoying myself. And Snow affects me in the best way.

The closer he is the hotter he looks. I can't get enough of watching him. 

I can almost feel his pleasure spreading through my own body like a wave, a _tsunami_ really.

Like his magic, Snow looks like a dangerous and deadly miracle of nature. 

I wonder if Snow’s cock is capable of putting me out of my misery once and for all? I wouldn’t mind that even in the slightest. 

Dying with Snow’s cock buried deep inside of me. That’s the dream, the golden standard of existence.

However, I wouldn’t mind staying alive so to speak and getting fucked regularly with his cock either.

Whichever Snow prefers. I’m down for anything. 

Pleasuring myself under his smouldering gaze is so exhilarating that I’m getting loud myself, practically shouting. 

“Yes…”

“Fuck…”

“Crowley…”

At this point, I’m unsure what I’m gasping anymore. But I do make sure I don’t use Snow’s name. 

“Oh...Simon… Yes...” I moan in my mind only.

Snow is on the edge himself and his teeth are digging in his lip. 

I just hope he won’t draw blood. I’m too aroused to think properly at the moment. It could end badly. (Thank magic I hunted before.)

Without taking my eyes from him I come on my stomach and Snow seems to be coming with me.

My body feels like it's ready to float — from pleasure. 

It's an unbelievable and amazing sensation. How can it feel _so_ good?

I do have to change my previous statement yet again. 

This right here was the best wank I _ever_ had!

The scent of his come combined with Snow himself, his magic and those growls are driving me mad. 

After taking one last glance at Snow, and memorising his beauty for the evening wank I most definitely am going to have, I leave to clean up. 

I can hardly think afterwards, feeling utterly ravaged in the _best_ possible way. 

Truthfully I’m astonished that I manage to find my way to the bathroom.

I take a quick shower but just as I am ready to get back to my room I smell Snow. 

He is still here.

Why is he still here? We’re done for today. He never stays afterwards. 

I spend almost an hour waiting for him to leave. (He hasn’t.)

 _That’s it! This is my home! I am not going to wait any longer!_ I think to myself, then put on some clothes I prepared earlier and get back to my bedroom. 

Snow’s still here. And I’m truly pissed at him. 

What is he expecting? Another show? 

This is just too much. I try swallowing down my agony. 

I’ve noticed that after Snow leaves I feel overly emotional, and keep thinking about how in love I am with him and how Snow couldn't care less about me; having him here now is making things extremely difficult and painful. 

Suddenly I fear him coming back to the tree to watch me might _end me_ completely. I bare myself to him, show him some of the most vulnerable parts of myself, even if he doesn't get it himself. 

No doubt I will pay for it when school starts and I'll have to look him in the eyes and say something hurtful to cover up my broken undead heart. 

Will I even be able to?

Right this instance, all I wish for is solitude from Snow or anyone else for that matter. I want to be left alone to my broken heart and my misery. 

Tears are already threatening to spill. I can't let him know that I am aware of his presence. It would be utterly humiliating. 

Will he laugh in my face if he knew? 

I need him to leave right now, to let me cry in peace.

For that I have to make it very clear that nothing else is going to happen today. (I’m feeling too vulnerable to do anything right now even if he weren't here. My good mood is long gone too.)

That is why I lie back down on my bed and get out my beloved copy of ‘Pride and Prejudice’. I settle against the bedframe and start reading, trying desperately to disregard Snow’s presence. 

My favourite book will surely put me in a better mood.

At least half an hour has passed. I’m trying hard to concentrate on my book but Snow keeps disturbing my peace. 

He hasn’t left yet. Now I’m just livid. 

Not for the first time, I think how he’s my own mental crisis — the biggest one. (Don't give me that look, I know that my mother is dead and that I was unwillingly Turned into a vampire.)

Why can’t he just leave? 

Doesn’t he understand that I am not going to wank again?

I reach for my journal (the cover is the loveliest shade of blue — his eye colour), to write my pain away.

_Snow, you're still here. It's unsettling and hurtful at the same time._

_I don't know what more you want from me. What more do I have to give?_

_It's not your fault, I suppose. I've chosen myself to do this, to create this illusion of us having any connection at all._

_We don't. You don't know that I can see you. That every breath you take is putting me on fire. A marvellous and a devastating one._

_That's what a flame is for me after all. Something I crave with all my being, and something that can obliterate me in the most painful horrific manner._

_You are my cure and my poison, Simon Snow._

_Perhaps not you. Not really._

_It's my love for you that is doing this to me. It's me. I am the true villain of my own life, my own heart. I break it by loving you._

_If I ever could stop, loving you, that is. If I could forget who you are._

_There's nothing to be done about it, though, is there?_

_It seems my heart belongs to you. It has for years._

_Truthfully I have never bought into the soulmate idea. And yet here I am, hang up on you for seven years._

_You don't care about me and you never will._

_One day you will kill me, Simon Snow. But it seems you've started today._

_No...not you… This is all my fault._

I stop writing, worried that instead of feeling better I will feel worse. I refuse to cry in front of Snow. 

So I make another attempt to read my comfort novel. Though I've cried my eyes out on so many parts throughout the book. (I suppose I should avoid the most emotional passages.)

I try very hard to let this whole thing with Snow go and just pretend that he isn’t here. 

After all, I managed to do it at Watford fairly well. I can do it now as well in the comfort of my own home.

Reading _does_ help. 

Over time, I do feel better, and my mind starts to wander in different directions… accidentally letting my overly vivid imagination run wild.

I can’t help but wonder if I’m Mr. Darcy or if Snow is. 

I know what you are thinking, Snow, is too brutish to be Mr. Darcy. And yes, of course, I agree with that statement. 

But that is something you might think at first glance only. Because at the same time, I can’t help the feeling that Mr. Darcy is quite the brute on the inside. 

He is hiding it fairly well, but it’s still visible from time to time. Mr. Darcy lets it slip when he isn’t being too careful...

Is this how Snow would have been if he was raised better? 

Would Snow be a _refined brute_? 

Somehow I get too immersed with the regency era and suddenly start wondering about other things. 

Would Snow look good sitting on a horse? Would he look good running through the rain confessing his undying love for me? 

Who am I kidding? Snow looks good no matter what he does. 

Would he drag me to the stables and have a good old roll in the hay with me? Would I let Snow pin me down to the floor and have his way with me? (Let? I would _beg_ him!)

I imagine removing his cravat and revealing his long neck with a mole on the side, I desperately _crave_ my lips on.

My thoughts emerge completely into this fantasy that I don't even notice when an hour has passed. 

Snow is still here, despite me not doing anything sexual, just reading my book. 

Suddenly a suspicion creeps into my mind. Maybe he just likes watching me. I know he likes to watch me _wank_. But this is different. 

Crowley, Snow might actually be _attracted_ to me.

In the heat of the moment, it could be easy for him to forget who I am. (Because Snow’s an idiot.) 

But right now when I’m not doing anything sexual…

Well, right now my identity couldn’t be mistaken or imagined. He must know I'm not Wellbelove.

That’s when I start to suspect that Snow might not be as straight as I always believed him to be. (I accidentally snort at that thought.)

Another thought hits me. 

It’s quite a fair assumption that he has plenty of other options than me — Snow is absolutely gorgeous. 

Which means that he could have experimented with anyone he wanted to. 

Yet, he continues returning here to awkwardly wank in a tree while watching me pleasure myself. (He almost fell from that tree several times.)

Now that I've calmed down and can think clearly, I am pondering over my hypotheses. 

All the evidence suggests that Snow might want _me_ specifically. 

Still, I can’t help but wonder if this is solely my brain playing games with me, or if this could actually be true...

Does Snow really want me?

I sure as fuck hope so. I don’t even care if it’s purely physical. I’ll take _anything_ he is willing to give me. 

What is Snow willing to give me, specifically? 

His cock?

His lips?

His hands?

And how would I go about getting him to offer it (whatever it is) to me?

Because as fun as wanking has been I’m feeling beyond desperate to try the real thing. 

Not that I wasn’t desperate before. 

But this time it seems as if there is a chance for it to happen, for something to happen… (Unless I'm imagining everything.)

Perhaps I need to nudge him in the right direction. 

Snow doesn’t have to fuck me, but he could at least do _something_. 

Kiss me, touch me, look at me sensually… 

What does Snow want to do to me? Does he want me? 

This can't be my overly vivid imagination, can it?

Why is Snow in Hampshire? And why did he find his way to my home? 

I didn't know he knew where I live.

Regardless, he was the one to seek me out this summer after all. He came here and keeps returning every single day. 

This can't be about him trying to prove I'm plotting during the summer, can it? 

Snow has been wanking alongside myself, and growling from pleasure, _for Crowley’s sake_. 

It simply cannot be about that. Surely there must be a logical reason as to why he's here. 

Next time I need to get my dildo out and make him understand what I want. 


	7. Chapter 7

# SIMON

I’m back to see _Baz_ and I’m also curious about what else is going to happen. Let’s face it I’m _extremely_ obsessed with him. (I’ve decided not to think about it.) 

What I do know is that not seeing Baz puts me on edge. I watched him until late evening yesterday, however, it feels as though I haven’t seen him in weeks. It’s almost as if I’m holding my breath and can’t let it out until I finally see Baz again. Is this how the withdrawal effect works? 

_Do I have a sex addiction?_

But if I’m addicted to _sex_ , why do I like less that Baz is _naked_ and more that it’s _Baz_ _himself?_ (I should probably not think about _that_ either.)

Baz gets to his room and it doesn’t take long for him to start undressing. He is wearing a blue button up and light brown chinos. He looks _beautiful_.

But there’s something about those colours though. _They look very nice but also somehow very_ right _on him._ I’m getting a lot of feelings and opinions right there. (Who knew I’m so _fashion oriented_?) (I surprise myself every day.)

I know my favourites colours are black and grey. (I have no idea why.) Therefore it’s a bit strange how much I like blue and light brown on Baz. I almost feel _possessive_ at that somehow. (Probably just _excited_ to see him.)

I think Baz has recently taken a shower because his hair is still a bit wet and falling down in waves around his face. It fits him a lot. I like when his hair is like this a lot. Coincidently, Baz has been letting it loose lately. (I really can’t believe how much luck I’ve been having this week.)

Baz is undressing agonisingly slowly today. (More slowly than that first time.) But for some reason, I’m not sure if I want him to go faster or if I’m enjoying this too much like it is. Maybe _both_. (Can you want _both_ at the same time?)

Every time he pops one of the buttons my breath is hitching. It’s agony, a very _pleasant_ kind of torture. Is this how Baz is going to kill me? _Torture me to death with his sexy undressing?_ (Except he doesn’t know I’m here.)

I’ve never seen a striptease but I’m sure this would count as one? (Baz must _really_ like his body a lot.)

I want to see more of his skin but I’m also enjoying watching how his fingers work at the buttons, slow and meticulous as if this is something important. (It feels _very_ important to _me_.)

I took off my own t-shirt because I can’t handle this weather anymore and I’m wearing shorts. It’s always _too hot_ whenever I’m here. 

At first, I thought it was _everywhere_ , a global warming kind of situation. But now I’m convinced it’s only around this tree.

Could there be an ozone hole just right above me? That would make it extra hot right, with the sun damage and all? (Strange that I haven’t got sunburn yet.)

Baz is touching himself while he takes off his button-up and his hand is sliding down his chest and he looks _so sexy._

_Baz is both beautiful and graceful._ And he looks so _confident_. (He’s _always_ confident.)

Does it feel good for him? Does touching his own skin puts Baz _ablaze_? Because watching him touch himself sure does _that_ to _me_. 

_I’m panting._ This is almost too much and at the same time not enough, and Baz hasn’t even _done_ anything yet.

I want to roam my hands on his chest myself, to feel all the lean muscles and smooth skin. Baz is so fit and _flawless_. There isn’t anything about him that could be considered as an imperfection. 

_Yes_ , I know what you think. Baz is a vampire and that should count an imperfection? And that would be right for everyone else but him. 

_Baz manages to make being a vampire the most perfect and natural thing there is._

Even though I always refused to acknowledge this, I do know that Baz has _never_ bitten anyone at Watford. I’m also pretty sure he only drains rats in the Catacombs. Which again, I should find disgusting because I don’t like rats. 

Still, if Baz is doing it, well, then somehow he would make it look good. (Baz makes _everything_ look good.) I wonder if I could see him drain something. I want to see his fangs. He’s been hiding them from me for some reason. 

Could be because I might’ve threatened to expose him a few times. Obviously, I’m not going to do that _after… well… after_ all the recent revelations.

I also want to lick his chest. There isn’t even any water on it today. (That might make it better, then I can taste more of _Baz_.)

Baz is watching himself as he goes. He looks as if he’s enjoying this a lot. I would be too if I got to caress _his_ skin.

When Baz starts removing his trousers he’s going even slower. (I didn’t know that was possible.) And when he’s sliding them down his legs, he’s turned a bit and I can see his _arse._

I can see it _all_ and my chest feels _too tight_ and my hands are sweating. I think my face is on fire and my stomach is in knots and my legs are getting weak and feel like cotton. 

_Something about his arse is affecting me very much._

_Merlin_ , what kind of _sorcery_ is this exactly? Is Baz a mage _and_ a vampire _and_ a siren? I thought that last one was just a _myth_.

I have no idea what is happening right now. But I do know one thing, — _I can’t look away from his arse_. There is something about it. Something _mesmerizing._

Could Baz’s arse have put me under a _vampire thrall?_ Is that a thing?

I always thought it was his eyes that put me under a thrall. I always got lost in them, deep grey like the _ocean_ — both beautiful and terrifying. 

I never knew what his eyes were saying when I looked in them. I had no idea what _I was saying_ or _why_ when I looked in them either. (I tried not to because of _that_.) 

When I did look it was almost as if some kind of switch was turned on without any logic or reason. (All around intense and _unexplainable_ experience.)

But maybe it’s his arse that bares the _most_ power of the vampire thrall. Because _this_ is even worse than how it usually goes for me with Baz’s eyes. I think his _arse_ is _more powerful_ somehow. Who knows what would even happen if I look both at his arse and in his eyes at the same time. ( _I might explode._ )

I’m palming myself a little now. I can’t help it. This is so _hot_. _Baz is so hot._ I don’t even care if it’s a vampire thrall. It’ll be worth it.

If Baz would try and drain me right this moment I might go _willingly_ , as long as I get to see his arse while he is sucking all the blood from me. 

I don’t think Baz would suck _all_ of my blood, that is. I wonder what it’ll feel like if he’d take just a bit… I think I want to feel his fangs on _me…_ and _anything_ _else_ he’d want to touch me with… _Literally_ anything else!

 _Would Baz even want to suck my blood?_ Surely I taste _better_ than a rat at least? Unless Baz is one of those _vegan_ people. (He’s posh enough to be one.) We get them all the time at the bakery. (How can one _not_ like real butter?) 

Does only draining rats considered being a vegan in vampiric terms or is it more of a _vegetarian_? (They’re at least _better_ than vegans.)

I abruptly stop thinking about butter because when Baz is _finally_ done undressing, he lays on his back, right in the middle of his bed, almost facing me and starts to palm himself nice and slow. His cock was already semi hard while he was still undressing.

Does this mean that Baz gets _turned on_ by looking at himself? I guess it makes sense, his body _is_ perfect. 

_Who else would he look at?_

Baz starts to palm himself a bit more and a _blush_ begins to colour his cheeks. (The undressing and the palming must’ve felt _that_ _good_.) Baz looks _lovely_ when he’s blushing _. I wish I could touch his cheeks or trace them with my lips..._

Then Baz spreads his legs, splatters some lube on his finger and starts teasing his rim. As he does, it’s getting light pinkish and it looks so _good_. (I use my binoculars to get a better look.) And then Baz turns around abruptly, stands on all fours on his bed and continues playing with his rim. 

_Great snakes!_ I’m really fortunate. Because of the way Baz is situated on the bed, — I can see his arse _perfectly_. (It’s turned towards me.) 

_I can’t believe my luck!_

It’s much easier to watch now. (I don’t even need the binoculars anymore.)

And I’m sure it’s easier for Baz to reach too. He doesn’t have to put his legs up in a difficult position. Is that a difficult position? Would it still be difficult if someone was on top of him? 

Which way would Baz prefer?

Baz’s rim almost looks like a flower, a precious beautiful light pink flower that _I_ _want to touch_. I wonder if it would be better for him if I _licked_ it instead. 

Surely my tongue would be _better_ than a finger? (More flexible.) It could twist and turn around his rim in different directions. You can’t get the same smooth movements from a finger. ( _That’s just common sense._ )

I’m interrupted from those thoughts when Baz slowly starts to slide his finger in just a little and then out again and after a few more minutes his rim looks even more pinkish. (Looks even _more delicious._ )

Baz did that yesterday, fingering his arse, and yet I can’t get enough of watching that. I want to watch and I feel… I feel _something_ … I know that much. I still don’t know _what_ though…

And I’m enjoying this new angle a lot. (I’ve been having a lot of luck lately.)

Baz is fingering himself and he looks so good. His body trembles a little, but I don’t think it’s from over exhaustion. _No_ , I think it’s from _pleasure_. It must feel really good for him. And it does for me too just by watching him like this…

_Baz is so fucking hot!_

And then he adds another finger and that looks even better. ( _How can it look better?_ ) 

_Oh, Merlin..._ He’s moaning louder now and he’s doing something different inside his arse I think because a loud gasp escaped his lips and his body shuddered, his eyes are rolling back and I almost fell off the tree when I heard that. 

_Fucking hell!_ I was gasping too and accidentally came without even touching myself. I mean, Baz was rocking two fingers in his arse. 

_How was I expected_ not _to come?_

But that’s alright because I can go again pretty much right away. I clean myself up real quick with one of the clean pair of pants I stuck up on in my rucksack. I brought five pairs just to be on the safe side, and as it turns out, it was the right idea. _I’m no dummy._ (I knew they’d come in handy.)

I can’t take my eyes of Baz even for a second. (I _need_ to keep watching his arse.) Because what he is doing right now _can’t_ get any better.

And then he goes and adds a third finger and boy oh boy was I _wrong_. 

_Jesus fucking Christ. This is undeniably better!_

I had no idea I could enjoy myself this much. Baz seems to enjoy himself a lot too. Well... that’s… I mean _that’s…_ I’m not sure _I_ could do it myself. I liked the one finger I used yesterday evening but _three_? I guess maybe if they were Baz’s fingers I might enjoy it too.

“ _Fuck…_ ” I can’t keep quiet even for a second now. He looks so _hot_ and it’s all just, I don’t know, it’s just _something_...

Something _incredible_ is what it is.

I’m so glad Baz is too busy pleasuring himself that he can’t hear me. (I might not be as _discreet_ today as I was all those other days.)

Baz is pushing and pulling all three fingers and his demeanour is changing. Well not changing it’s just everything is _intensified_. 

“ _Yees…_ ” He’s gasping and both his moaning and gasping are so _loud_. Baz is rocking on the three fingers as if his life depended on that. 

_Does it?_ Is this a life and death situation I am not aware of? And in that case, should I offer up _my_ fingers, maybe it’ll help more? (My fingers are bigger.)

But before I have time to decide if I should just let him know that I’m here and see if he needs real help with whatever crisis this is, Baz takes out something that looks _suspiciously_ like a dildo from behind one of the cushions.

Is it _really_ what I think it is?

 _Yeah… A plain blue dildo._ I can see it very clearly now, it is indeed a blue dildo. (Baz must really like the colour _blue._ ) It does look good in his hand. (Fits him somehow…)

But now I can’t help but wonder why Baz was keeping a dildo behind a cushion. (There wasn’t one yesterday, I would have noticed.) 

_Why is he putting lube on it? What is he planning to do with it?_

And just like that Baz removes his fingers from his arse and replaces them with the lubed dildo. He is sliding it in his arse and it looks _so hot_. 

Baz starts out a little slow. It’s a big dildo and it must be a tight squeeze for him. I mean it’s _almost_ as big as my cock if I’m not mistaken. 

And it’s not as if I'm too big but I’m bigger than the dildo and the dildo is much bigger than those three fingers combined. I mean it’s just simple math. It’s a lot to put in once arse so I do understand the reason to _go slow_ is what I mean. 

“ _Yes…_ ” He’s gasping and I do moan even though I’m not even doing anything. I’m worried that if I touch myself in the slightest I just explode right here right now once again and I’m worried about that. I should wait because I don’t think I could come three times in a row. ( _Or can I?_ ) 

I don’t want to risk it. I’d really like to come together with Baz like we usually do. So now I _don’t_ even _dare palm myself_. 

This is a very dangerous territory I’m threading on right now.

Baz is sliding the dildo in and out slowly and carefully and starts to go a bit deeper. And just keeps at it until he is ready for more I guess. 

_How much more is he going to be ready for exactly?_

Is he going to put the whole thing in? And why can’t I breathe properly at the thought of something that _big_ in Baz’s arse? 

_Merlin..._ I’m dizzy again and I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’m hard as a rock. (That’s nothing new, have been for almost a week now, every day, almost _constantly_.) 

But this time it’s _different_. 

There is so much I feel, I don’t know what exactly, but it’s just too much. And I can’t look away. Baz keeps going deeper and deeper with the dildo the longer he keeps at it. And it doesn’t take long for him to get up a bit of speed to it all as well. 

“ _Oh, yes…_ ” I’m gasping and growling and Merlin knows what else. (Half of the time I’m _near_ Baz I have no idea what I’m doing.) And this right here is somehow much _worse_. 

Fully clothed Baz makes me stammer and makes me all flustered. _Naked_ Baz with a dildo up his arse, _well…_ _Well_ , I think he just makes my brain short circuit altogether if anything. Am I going to restart after this with no memories left at all? 

_Christ_... It’ll be worth it!

And then the whole dildo is in and I’m losing any resemblance of thinking or control or _anything_. I _am_ falling down from the tree this time. I’m lucky that I caught myself on the branch just as I was flying down. 

_For snakes’ sake, one of these days, Baz’s arse is going to be the death of me!_

I’m back on the tree now and I’m trying desperately to hold on with _both_ hands. (I should have gotten some rope and tied myself to the tree after all.) 

I think I might feel as if I’m on fire, about to go off, not my magic kind of fire but a different one and it’s burning me up.

 _Is it going to kill me?_ I’m not sure I have it in me to care at this point. There is only _one_ coherent thought I care about right now. 

_Baz._

_I can’t take my eyes off Baz._ He is arching his back down in some kind of manner, the muscles on his arm, the one that is _working_ _hard_ on the dildo, are tensed and flexing. Baz threw his head back a bit and he looks _so hot_ like that with a dildo deep in his arse. (It’s _very_ deep now, all the way.)

Baz is fucking himself with the dildo and my head is spinning. And I _can’t_ think of anything until I suddenly _can_ think. Just like that, out of the blue, I know _exactly_ what those feelings yesterday and earlier today were. 

_I want to fuck Baz._

_Jesus fucking Christ!_ I want to _fuck_ Baz.

There is more, I know that, but I can’t think about that now. I just enjoy looking at Baz, imagining that dildo being my cock, going deep inside of him. 

I would stand right behind Baz with one hand on the small of his back and with another gliding my hard cock inside of his fit arse. 

Will he feel very tight around my cock? Will I be slow or would it just be too hard for me to control myself? I want him to feel good. 

_What would Baz prefer?_

“ _Yes…_ ” I’m growling. I can’t stop growling. 

I’m panting, gasping and growling and I don’t know what else. And I might be shaking and this time I think I _will_ fall off this stupid tree without being able to catch myself in time. Why can’t I just be inside the room with Baz helping him with the dildo or better yet replace the dildo with my own cock? _Would Baz want me there?_

_Wait! What did I just think?_

But then Baz is slamming the dildo harder and faster and I can’t stop looking at his _perfect_ arse with that dildo moving in and out of him and his _beautiful_ face. Baz has the most amazing expression on his face right now. He looks as if he is being sent to heaven or heaven being sent here for him. (I’d find any heaven _he wants_ and give it to him right this moment.)

Is that how it feels for him, — _heavenly_? 

I want to make Baz feel like that. 

I want to see him look like that at _me_. There is a mirror just in front of him so I can see his face but he still doesn’t see me. 

I have noticed while I was waiting for him that he has a lot of mirrors in his bedroom. I guess he likes looking at himself. Who wouldn’t? 

_Baz is so fucking fit and hot._

Baz is taking that dildo as if it’s _all_ he wants. (Is it all he wants? Would he prefer _my cock_ instead?) 

Aren’t dildos usually made of plastic or silicone or something like that? Penny says it’s not environmentally conscious to use plastic and it can also be dangerous to a person’s own health. 

Penny also says one should only put organic in one’s body because it’s _healthier_ that way. I mean you can’t get _more organic_ than my cock can you? (I eat real butter with everything.) 

So it would only make sense that it would be more _beneficial_ for Baz to have _my_ cock inside his arse. ( _It’s for his health’s sake if anything._ )

Baz pulls out and pushes in and it’s fast and hot and I still can’t seem to catch my breath. I briefly wonder if I’m going to faint, and whether or not I _care_ about that. (I don’t think I do care.)

“ _Oh…_ ” He’s moaning and I _need_ to hear him more. It’s as if I might combust if I don’t hear him eager and wanting like this. But I also might combust from hearing him moaning in this manner. 

It’s a battle that can’t be won. Or maybe combusting is the _winning_ in this case...

Baz’s moans are getting higher _“Oh...yes...si-_ ” and he starts biting his lip abruptly. What was he about to moan? I don’t know any words that start with those letters…

Nevermind. Baz is biting on his lip and I can’t look away.

_I want to bite on his lip._

By using my own mouth, I want to make his lips just as pink as his rim now is. I want to snog him and kiss his neck. ( _Baz has such a pretty neck._ ) 

Everything about Baz is _pretty_. _I want to kiss all of him._ And lick and touch and I want to fuck him _desperately_.

I would fuck him hard and fast and for as long as I only can. 

_Could I fuck him for a long time?_

Watching Baz makes me come too fast, doing anything to him might make me come _even faster_. Perhaps Baz could cast “Candle in the Wind” on me for better stamina. 

I usually don’t like other’s magic on me, but surely Baz’s magic would feel _good…_ I’m already ecstatic only from thinking about it, his magic on _me_. Probably because he’s a fire magician and I have fire in me as it is. _We match..._

I have great stamina from all the practices with my sword. I like to work with my sword a lot. It’s big, long and very powerful and I just love to strike with it against trees, against long and lean pale branches (the paler the better) or poking at all the dark holes deep inside the trees. 

But this right here might be more of _sex_ _stamina_ that I’m in dire need of, so I won’t come too fast while fucking Baz.

“ _Yes…_ ” He’s gasping and the sound is resonating deep down my stomach and all through my cock, from the top to the base. (Baz voice makes my cock feel _electric_ .) (Is my cock going to vibrate all on its own now?) Because it’s sure _twitching_ a lot after hearing Baz.

I want him, viciously, desperately... _I want Baz._ And this feeling that I finally understand isn’t any different from how I always felt. 

Almost since Baz and I met I had this _uncontrollable_ frustration towards _him_. I kept imagining knocking him to the ground and pushing myself _into him_ , getting _on top of him_. 

_I kept wanting to be on top of Baz all the time._

I just thought it was so I could fight him better. It’s always easier to fight someone if you are on top of them. (That’s just _logical_.) 

But now I'm starting to suspect it could have been for _other_ reasons. Could it be I always wanted to be on top of Baz so I could _kiss him_ and, later when I got older, _fuck him_ better or anything else that might not be considered as strictly fighting? 

_Is that at all possible?_

I’m very sure of one thing though.

I want to fuck Baz _so_ much. I want to slide my hard aching cock in his perfect beautiful arse and make him gasp and moan because of me.

 _Wait!_ Does this mean _I’m_ _gay?_

 _Nah_... can’t be. I would’ve known if I was. Wouldn’t I? I really can’t think about it right now. 

Instead, I’ll watch Baz shoving that dildo up his arse and moan and gasp. _He is so loud._ I can’t get enough.

A then he gasps. “ _Yes... keep fucking me…_ ” 

What’s this? _Is Baz fantasising about someone?_

I wonder who it could be? It couldn’t be Agatha, right? I mean unless he wants Agatha to fuck him with the _dildo_. But well shouldn’t he just fuck _her_ instead? Wouldn’t that make _more sense_? (Maybe I’m wrong.) I don’t really know much about these things.

It’s a longshot but could it possibly be that Baz is fantasising about a _bloke_?

Does this mean _Baz_ is gay? That would come as a right shocking revelation right there. If Baz is gay he’s hiding it _extremely_ well. 

I had not even the slightest suspicion during the seven years we knew each other. And I’ve been coming here for almost a week and not even once did he give me any indication he might be gay, hasn’t slipped even _once_. I have watched him every day and Baz hasn’t done anything that might suggest that he could possibly be gay. 

If it wasn’t for what he just gasped I would never have figured that out. I’m not sure if I have figured anything out _yet_. It’s only a suspicion. 

I’m used to being suspicious of Baz.

Could it be this is what he was hiding all this time?

He looks so good like this, both tense and relaxed somehow. _Heavenly._ That’s the word. Baz _is_ heavenly, like a sexy angel. An angel I want to kiss _and_ to fuck _and_ to hold close to me and never let go...

Baz is arching his back down and takes hold of his cock and starts moving his hand very fast, never slowing down. I join him of course. I’ve been waiting for this for what seems like _forever_. 

_Fucking finally!_ I need to come! Again. I need to come _again_.

I come together with Baz harder than I ever came before. Still, I just can’t let go of all the tension despite being completely _knackered_. 

I could go for a third and fourth round. As long as I get to do it _with_ _Baz_ I wouldn’t mind just keep at it until I can’t breathe or move. I’d rather go from _this_ than from anything else.

 _This is certainly the right way to die_. Watching Baz fuck himself with a dildo and imagining that it’s _my cock in his arse instead_.

_I think I might have some things to figure out..._

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

# BAZ

This whole endeavour has been meticulously planned out last night. I know what you are thinking. I was extra nervous the last time I made an intricate plan beforehand. And that is _correct_. However, I swear this time it’s _different_.

I needed a plan, a _plot_ really. This involves very thoughtful plotting on my part. I am trying to make Snow _understand_ that I want him. I’m going to use my dildo this time. (Doing that in front of Snow already needs all the mental preparation I can get.) 

But it’s not all. I am wearing Snow’s colours. 

My button up is plain blue just like Snow’s boring most _beautiful_ eyes in the world and my trousers are the colour of bronze. Well, it’s more of a light brown (tan really) to be precise but I hope it will leave an _impression_. Or maybe it only makes sense to me and _me alone_. Maybe Snow won’t even notice what I’m wearing. 

What does _Snow_ notice about _me?_

He sure noticed me undressing the day before yesterday or at least it felt as if he did. I’m pointedly not looking at Snow and look at myself instead as I undress. I’m too fucking _nervous_ to be casting glances at any of the mirrors.

After taking a meticulous shower I let my hair loose because I suspect Simon likes it like this. He was looking at my hair yesterday. (I think.) I’m bringing out all the guns today.

_This is it, Basilton, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for!_

Today is the day Snow will know what I want and can decide to either give it to me or not…

I’m all nerves, but it feels better when I hear Snow’s breathing catch and the small moans escape his lips even before I’m done undressing. Does it mean that Snow must _want_ me? He might if the way he’s acting is any indication. 

_Or am I the moron in this situation? Is it all in my head?_

I touch myself a bit just to try and coax another reaction out of him. (It helps with the nerves.) And I do get quite the reaction. Snow’s _gasping_. (I haven’t done anything yet. Just touching my upper body, not even in a sexual way.)

Those noises escaping Snow’s lips are turning me on _so fucking much_ and also giving me the courage to proceed. Snow is making me _brave_. Who would’ve thought so? (Could it be that Snow’s bravery is contagious through arousal by any chance?) (That’s how it feels.)

By the time I reach my trousers, my hands are about to shake despite all the Snow courage I’ve been channelling. I try to slow my breathing down and proceed. 

As soon as I’m done, I get on my bed, get the lube and start to tease myself a bit. I was already getting hard while _listening_ to Snow’s moans. (But now, I _need to watch_ Snow.) 

I dare a glance and almost stop in my tracks. 

_Snow is shirtless and wearing shorts._

Aleister _Crowley_. Could Snow read my mind somehow yesterday or is there a higher power I wasn’t aware of that watches over hopeless gays and grants their wishes? (I should have wished for Snow shirtless in my bed instead. Or even better, — Snow _naked_ in my bed.)

I’m getting my fill of Snow now and feel myself _blushing_. (I hope Snow won’t notice.)

He’s lovely. I don’t see much of his legs but I see his upper body in details. Snow’s chest is just as flushed as his face and neck. He’s panting loud with his mouth hanging agape. (Mouth breather.) I really don’t mind. I’d lick in his mouth. (I’d lick _anything_ he’ll let me.)

I see the rise and fall of his chest so much better now that he isn’t wearing a shirt. It makes me ache for Snow more, for him and _his_ _blood_. It’s buzzing for me. (I’m not thirsty, I drained a whole deer for the occasion.) There are moles scattered across Snow’s chest. I want to kiss and lick every single one. _When_ will I finally get to do that? 

_Will I get to do that at all?_

I turn around and get on all four with my arse practically in Snow’s face. There is some unnecessary distance, unfortunately, between my bed and the window. Should I have pushed my bed closer to the window or would that have made Snow suspicious? (Surely there _must_ be limits to how thick he is…)

I can see him clearly still. (There are more than enough mirrors for that.) 

The only mirror I avoid looking at is the one in front of my face. (It would’ve given me away if we ever locked eyes.) Instead, I’m looking into a different one, one hidden from Snow. That is also how I know that Snow is staring at the mirror in front of me. He is looking at my _face_ too, not only my _arse_. 

_Does this mean Snow remembers it’s me and not Wellbelove?_

I fucking hope so after everything I’ve gone through for him. (Otherwise, it’ll all be in vain.) ( _Not exactly._ These have been the happiest moments of my life so far, but _still…_ )

I start to finger myself and let him hear how _good_ it feels. (And it feels _exceedingly_ _good_ with Snow watching.) It doesn’t take long before I’m going faster and imagining _his_ finger… Snow is looking at me, and he seems almost entranced by _me_.

Is it reality or is it only happening inside my head? (I’ve been doubting myself _more than usual…_ )

Snow is palming himself and the more I play with my arse the more he growls. It hits me like a bolt of radioactive lightning. (The type that gives one superpower.) I’m convinced mine is _multiple prostate orgasms_. 

Because that is what is happening with my prostate right now. And it feels unbelievable. How is it even possible? Then again… with Snow being here, nothing should surprise me anymore…

Whenever Snow is around, everything feels bigger, better and _alive_. _I_ feel almost alive when he’s here, watching me, palming himself as he watches. The scent of his precome seems _extra_ potent today.

Snow _must_ want me. His pupils are blown wide and I can see the _want_ in those eyes. Snow looks aroused and satisfied. His mouth is open. (That’s nothing new, but it’s different now.) He looks _eager_. 

Is Snow eager for me? I’m always eager for _him._

_Yes, use me anyway you want, Snow! I’m yours!_

His eyes widen when I go for a second finger and he almost falls down the tree. ( _Again!_ )

If Snow does fall down I already have a few superb and powerful healing spells up my sleeve. (They will fix him up in no time.) I don’t mind compromising my position in order to keep him safe. I’d cross every line for him. I’m in love with him.

_Simon is more important to me than my pride._

I should probably take a good long look at myself and ask exactly what pride I’m talking about here. (Doesn’t seem as if I have much left, considering what I’m trying to accomplish here and _the way_ I’m going about achieving it.)

 _Aleister fucking Crowley!_ Snow just _came_ without touching himself. I did that to him, didn’t I? Or the _idea of sex_ , it could be that too. I shouldn’t get ahead of myself.

His come smells delicious. I want to… _no…_ I _need_ to taste him. This desire for him is _instinctive_. Wanting Snow sexually is the most primal instinct I ever had. (And I’m a _vampire_ !) I want to taste his blood too, but I want _him_ more, so much _more_...

_Why is he so close yet so far away?_

Snow is cleaning himself up and I get a few brief glances of parts of his cock. What I can see looks _majestic._ (Much bigger than my dildo.)

 _Crowley_ … That’s a _very_ pleasant surprise right there. I know it’s still summer but it seems that _Christmas came early this year_.

I want to see the _whole_ thing and to touch and to taste. I want… 

_I want Simon Snow and his beautiful cock..._

I rock on my fingers and try imagining Snow’s strong fingers inside of me and his cock in my mouth, _rocking_. (I want to be filled by Snow _everywhere_.) 

I don’t try and suck on my finger like I did the other day. It requires too much concentration with the position I find myself in and I also don’t want to take Snow’s attention from my arse. (I need him to _understand_ what are the priorities here.) (Snow’ attention is already split between my arse and my face.) I don’t want to confuse him too much.

Seeing him enjoy himself like that is making me giddy and making me lose any resembles of control. I'm loud, probably too loud. This time the whole Hampshire might hear both Snow and me.

I add another finger and Snow almost fell off the tree, _yet_ _again_. (I’ve lost count since that first time a few days ago.) I really don’t want Simon to hurt himself. But it’s not as if I can just suggest to him to continue _in_ _here…_ (Preferably _inside_ of me.) 

_"Fuck..."_ I hear Snow growling and it makes everything better.

 _"Oh..."_ I'm moaning, drunk on Snow and his come, imagining him here with me. 

This feels _so good_ but I need the dildo.

I have to start off very slow. (It’s a _big_ dildo.) I wonder how it would feel like to stretch under Snow’s cock. _I need his cock!_ Now I almost know how it looks like. 

Even if this whole endeavour won’t lead to anything, I still get to spend my life fantasising about Snow’s cock. And this time it will be a more realistic fantasy. That still should count for _something_. It’s so much more than I ever expected to have just a week ago.

 _”Yes…”_ I’m gasping and Snow is moaning at that. He isn’t touching himself at all. Snow is currently holding on to a tree branch with both hands. (He must be moaning because of _me._ )

Seems though that Snow doesn’t even have to do anything at all to get himself off. I can already smell his _fresh_ precome. (And he already came, _very_ _recently_.)

Snow’s cock occupies all of my senses right now. I want it desperately. I let myself pretend that I do have it. I imagine my dildo is his cock and he is pushing it inside me while growling in my ear. Snow is _actually_ growling right this moment. ( _It makes it all so much more real and therefore so much better._ )

It doesn’t take long for me to get up at the right speed. 

_”Oh, yes…”_ I hear Snow gasp _very loud_ mind you. How can it be that he doesn’t get I can hear him? Snow knows I’m a vampire or at least suspects that I am. Besides, he’s just _right outside_ my _open_ window.

Not that it matters or that I’m complaining. I don’t mind pretending that I can’t hear him. I’m _craving_ his noises. _I want to hear more._ (I _am_ hearing more.) (Snow’s both gasping, moaning and growling almost _non stop._ )

 _Crowley_ , this is so _hot_.

I’m still watching Snow. I never knew someone could look confused and aroused all at the same time. But then again, I’m used to Snow surprising me. ( _Particularly of late._ )

Because Snow looks… _properly_ _confused_ if anything. As if there is an actual internal struggle going on inside his tiny little brain. 

I know that I’m not being fair to him. Simon _isn’t_ stupid. He is actually both smart and brave. He survives the most deadly situations not only due to a hefty amount of good luck but also because of skill, precision and the ability to think on the spot. 

Snow is brilliant but he is also _thick_ ... so very _very_ thick... I still don’t believe he understands _what_ I want, even with the dildo.

 _Aleister Crowley!_ Snow literally _fell_ down the tree just now. I was about to run after him, stackers and all when he managed to catch himself at the last second. _Crowley…_ Snow fell down while _watching me_ _fuck myself with a dildo_. 

He doesn't seem affected by the near fall. Snow's back to watching me and growling. _"Yes..."_ I hear and the muscles inside of me clench at the sound of Snow's desire. He hasn't taken his eyes off me or the dildo. 

My dildo is blue just like Snow’s eyes. (Because I’m a very _romantic_ person or a very _pathetic_ one. The jury is still out on that one.)

Snow's still flushed and breathing rapidly. _I want him._ I dare to hope that maybe he wants _me_ too.

He looks so _sexy_ , I almost gasped his name in the heat of the moment. _"Oh... yes... Si-"_

I bit my lip hard after that.

_This is not the time, Basilton!_

Snow doesn’t take his eyes off me and I can clearly see the _desire_ all over his face and body. But also _confusion…_

_What are you confused about exactly, Simon?_

Please tell me and I promise to make it all _better!_

He can’t answer a question I don’t dare to ask out loud. But Snow’s utter confusion is the reason for me gasping something more provocative and _suggestive_. 

” _Yes... keep fucking me…_ ” I gasp and hope Snow _gets_ it this time.

Because if he doesn’t get it _now_ , get what I _want_ , then I really don’t know what I could do more to make him _understand_. 

Would I need to wear a sign that says “I’m gay and want to be fucked by an imbecile named Simon Snow.” That would probably do it. But I’m not that desperate. ( _Yet!_ )

I seem to have _shocked_ Snow with that earlier revelation. 

_Good!_

Now _think_ , Snow! Surely, _even you_ must know how to.

I imagine Snow’s _thick_ cock inside of me, thrusting and I try to work harder and faster on my prostate. I’m getting close to _another_ _orgasm_. I wrap one hand around my cock and don’t stop until I’m coming fast and hard. 

This isn’t the most comfortable position with both my hands occupied but it’s _worth_ _it_. (I tilt my head just right so I can see Snow while he’s wanking.) 

Snow took hold of his cock as soon as I took hold of mine. I like seeing Snow like that, wielding his metaphorical sword... I want him to penetrate me with his big, thick powerful sword. (I can’t actually _see_ his cock now, but after what happened earlier I can imagine it _well_.)

I want, nay, _need_ to see Snow’s whole cock soon! 

_What a sight it must be..._

I couldn’t help but notice that Snow waited for me to start wanking before he started himself and he came at the same time as I did. (That’s his _second_ _time_ today.) 

_Was him waiting for me romantic or is it just me?_

Simon still hasn’t touched or kissed me, but he did look at me _sensually_ , hasn’t he? That’s a start... But I need _more_...

Snow came today while watching me fuck myself with a dildo and holding one hand around my cock. 

_Does he get it now or do I need to draw a map and wear a sign despite it all?_


	9. Chapter 9

# SIMON

I think I might be _confused_ right now. 

I _now_ know what that overwhelming feeling from yesterday was when Baz had his finger up his arse. I figure it out _today_ when I saw Baz with a _dildo_ in his arse. I want to have my cock in Baz’s arse. I wanted it for a while, I think. 

Which makes this whole situation very confusing because shouldn’t that mean I’m gay? And I never thought I was. I really wish I could ask Penny if I’m gay or not.

She always knows what to do. She can solve any problem or riddle. And this is quite the _riddle_ right here. Penny is the smartest person I know, after Baz. (I’ll never tell _her_ that.) And I can’t ask Baz for so many different reasons, I can’t talk about this with _him._

Also if wanting to slide my cock deep in Baz’s arse means I’m gay, should that mean that Baz is gay too since he was shoving a dildo up his arse? Is that really very _heterosexual behaviour_? I obviously don’t know for sure either way, but I can’t help but wonder… And Baz was clearly fantasizing about _someone_ doing that to him... But then again, he never said anyone's name... Could be he was just fantasizing about someone in general, more like the desire to have some company or help with the dildo. (Must have been hard to work it for so long, a bit of an odd angle and all.) I would have helped if Baz asked _me_. I would have rather used my cock instead of dildo. (Whatever Baz would prefer is fine with me obviously.)

I don’t have Penny here to answer all my questions but at least I have Google. I open the search engine and try to think of the right question to ask.

Eventually, I type in _“How do you know if you’re gay?”_

There were _many_ long tedious articles. (I don’t really have the time or the patience required for that.) _I need answers_ now _._

But then I found a quiz. (That’s more up my ally. Only 10 questions too.) 

**“Are you gay and what kind of gay are you?”** says right there on the top.

I didn’t know there were different kinds. Is it like with the scones somehow… Comes in various _flavours_? 

_That oddly makes sense._

I’m very confident Baz is the _best_ flavour though. Does the quiz know about him somehow? Is there a gay record just like there is a magickal record? I guess it would make sense...

  * **What is your favourite colour? Green, purple, pink, yellow.**



I always thought my favourite colours were black and grey. But today I saw that Baz’s rim looks pink when he was playing with the dildo. So I guess pink would be my favourite colour from those that are available to choose from.

  * **Do you prefer to play sports, listening to music, playing video games or parting with your friends?**



I don’t play any sports but I like watching Baz play football. I would have to say spending time listening to music. At Watford, I always stand outside and listen to Baz playing the violin during his lesson.

  * **What would you rather put in your mouth, hot dog or tacos?**



My favourite food is roast beef and sour cherry scones so this question isn’t as accurate for me like all the others were. 

I know I don’t really like tacos. 

They are so difficult to fit in my mouth. I prefer to put the whole thing in at once in one swift movement and tacos are just all wrong for that I guess. There’s much spilling out and I really don’t like waiting good food, you know? 

Maybe I’m just not eating them right. And you can’t even lick a taco properly. (I like licking.) There’s no space for it somehow. (Where do you lick a taco exactly?) It sure is an odd food. 

There is something very appetising about that hotdog though. I can’t help but wonder if I can really fit it in my mouth at once because some hot dogs are bigger than others. (But I haven’t come across a hotdog I could swallow whole _yet_.)

  * **Have you ever fantasised about having sex with a woman?**



That’s easy, — never. 

  * **Does thinking about a naked woman turn you on?**



No. At least I don’t think. I only ever kissed Agatha. And that _definitely_ didn’t turn me on. Thinking about kissing Baz turns me on very _much_. I haven’t kissed him _yet_ but if thinking about it does the trick, doing it should probably be even better, innit?

  * **Have you ever looked sexually on a guy?**



I have looked at Baz sexually for a while now… And I think Baz’s cousin Marcus looks fit too, the one with blonde streaks in his hair. Baz’s best friend Niall is very pale, but I don’t like his eyes. They are brown and he spells them a muddy blue. Is Niall doing that because blue is _Baz’s_ favourite colour? (I’m not sure how I feel about that…)

Baz’s cousin Dev has black hair almost like Baz’s but not quite. But he isn’t fit at all.

I don’t think Penny’s boyfriend Micah is fit either, he’s more boring looking. (I’m not going to tell her _that_.)

There a few good looking blokes at the care home. They know they’re hot and they act accordingly. Baz never does that even though he is the most beautiful person I ever met. 

Sure, he sneers at me all the time and makes fun of me in class. (Calls me thick too. Which I _am_.) But he never acts as though he’s better looking than me. 

Now that I think about it, he’s never commented on my looks, not even once. Except, when I found him in the Catacombs in the fifth year, Baz said he wouldn’t want to accidentally Turn me into a vampire because it would ruin my complexion. (What did he mean by that exactly?) 

Baz never has trouble coming up with insults regarding anything that has to do with me. Does it mean he has nothing bad to say about my looks? Does it mean Baz thinks I’m _fit_?

  * **Does looking at other guys naked turn you on?**



Oh _yes_ , looking at Baz has been turning me on all week. Also thinking about Baz naked, or not even naked. Just Baz, in general, makes my pants tight and my cock aching with want. I just thought it was about magic or science. (Could it be that I was _mistaken_?)

Baz has never seen me naked. And every time I’m shirtless in our room, he averts his eyes. He never averts his eyes from the blokes during football practice. 

That should have been a clue right there. How have I not noticed it before? I was always looking for _suspicious_ behaviour from him and missed that one somehow...

  * **Have you ever fantasies about sucking another man’s cock?**



Yes. I fantasized about Baz’s cock a lot lately. In fact, it’s _all_ I can think about.

  * **Have you ever fantasies about licking another man’s anus?**



That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about doing to Baz's arse earlier today so yes. (Spooky…) ( _It’s almost if this quiz knows everything about me..._ )

**An additional question to determine what kind of gay you are:**

  * **Are you a top and prefer your lover to bottom?**



I have no idea what all this top and bottom means. Do they mean if I rather lie on top of Baz or underneath him? I’m fine with _both_. Does that really tell you if you are gay? 

I don’t know what it means but sure if Baz is _at the bottom_ (I think there was a _typo_ right there in the quiz) then I would be on the top of him. 

_I don’t mind either way really._

The answers from the quiz shocked me to the core. 

**You are 100% gay and a top.**

Did I get _top marks_ on being gay? (I’ve never gotten top marks before.)

 _Huh._ I had no idea that fantasizing about seeing Baz naked, kissing him, kissing and licking his naked body, sucking and licking his cock and licking his arse meant _I_ was _gay_. That really caught me by surprise right there. 

I guess I’m glad I took this quiz.

_Who knows if I could have figured that out on my own?_

So it was never about the magic then? Who could have guessed that?

I wonder why the quiz hasn’t asked if I want to fuck Baz because I do. (So much. It’s all I can think about at the moment.) I’m very sure of that fact after I saw Baz pushing that dildo in and out his arse. Shouldn’t that also be a valid question in determining if someone might be gay? (That was what made me suspicious to this whole thing in the first place.) 

_It would make sense…_

I do know that if Baz’s cock or arse or lips or fingers or any other part of him, in general, are involved I would want to do _anything_. (I will need to google the whole top/bottom thing later.)

I wonder if this would be considered cheating (Agatha and I are still together), and I feel like a right tosser. We haven’t done anything yet, Baz and I that is. But I want to. (It’s all I can think about.) 

There’s a list in my head about all the things I ever wanted to do to Baz. (It started in our first year and filled more and more through the years.) I always wanted to touch him, I was convinced that was because I just wanted to punch him. But it isn’t that… I should have realized this sooner….

Apparently, I don’t want to lick Baz’s body because he’s a vampire and I like science a lot. 

_No_ , I want to lick every inch of him and desperately need to know how his come taste like because he’s _Baz_. 

_Huh…_ Who could have seen that coming?

In retrospect, though maybe _I_ should have seen that coming after all… 

There might have been _signs_. (Even _before_ this summer.) And now that I think about it, my sexual fantasies for years involved _long black hair._ (Baz's hair as it turns out.) That might have been a clue I missed somehow too... I also figured out why grey is my favourite colour alongside black, — Baz’s eyes are grey. And I should have understood that too if I wasn’t this _thick_... In my defence, I would have figured it all much sooner if I got to see Baz's arse earlier.

All of these meant two things. I’m definitely gay and definitely into Baz.

Even though it’s against the rules for me to contact anyone during the summer break, I think this could be count as a valid reason for making an exception. Because I can’t start anything with Baz while Agatha is still my girlfriend. (It wouldn’t be fair to Baz. Or Agatha either, of course, I almost forgot about her.)

I call Agatha. (It’s only early evening.) 

“ _Simon_?” She seems surprised. (She has all reason to be, I never called her before.) “Why are you calling me? You aren’t allowed to talk to me over the summer.”

“Yeah. I know, but this is important,” I tell her because it is important. I can’t go after Baz until I end things with her.

“Okay. What is this about?” Agatha asks, she seems to be in a bad mood for some reason.

“We need to break up,” I say. It’s my first time to break up with her (Agatha has broken up with me _loads_ of times). But I don’t think she’ll be cross with me. She broke up with me _a lot_ and I didn’t get cross with her in the slightest. I was only worried that she’ll go after Baz. In light of recent revelations, I now know why I was so worried. (I didn’t want Agatha to steal Baz from me, not that he’s mine. But I won’t give up until he is.)

There’s silence on the other line and then I hear Agatha sigh very loud.

“ _Simon_ ,” she says and she sounds very exasperated for some reason. “We broke up before we left for summer break.”

 _Oh..._ I had no idea. But then again, I usually don’t listen to Agatha too carefully. She goes on and on about horses and her Normal friends and other unimportant things and she gets mad every time I bring Baz up. (I only ever wanted to talk about Baz.)

But I thought I would have noticed her breaking up with me. And then I remember. It might have been that day I was convinced Baz was plotting something big during his last football match.

I couldn’t leave my eyes off Baz for the whole day after the match. With all these new discoveries, I suspect his sweaty chest and exposed legs had something to do with that.

That is why my mind was too preoccupied to be able to listen to anything Agatha had to say that day.

“ _Sweet_ ,” I say because I just can’t believe my luck and then add. “See you in September, Aggs.”

“Sure,” she replies and sounds even more annoyed. Agatha is sure easily annoyed.

I wonder if Agatha is going to tattle to the Mage about me calling her during the summer break. I don’t have it in me to care. It’s my last year at Watford. What is he going to do? Forbid Agatha’s parents to let me spend winter break with Agatha? I’m not planning to spend my winter break with her. If I get my way I’ll spend it with _Baz_.

After dinner, I googled what bottom meant. Apparently, it _wasn’t_ a typo. Also, there were very graphic pictures and videos on Google. And I _definitely_ could imagine Baz and me in every single one of those positions. 

I could hardly sleep after that.

Let’s face it, I didn’t go to sleep _right away_ … I might have watched a few more videos for more ideas and then closed my eyes, wanked and imagined Baz and me in those situations… (I wonder how _flexible_ Baz is? He is a footballer…)

But imagining something isn’t the same as having the real deal. I came much harder while watching Baz pleasure himself earlier than I did while thinking about fucking him.

But now I know what I want, and I also know that I’m not in a relationship with Agatha, I can do whatever I want to. Because I want to do… A lot of things… All of them include Baz being a part of it… And us both naked… pressed against each other… rocking our hips and letting our cocks slide against each other trapped between our stomachs. (Those are just a _few_ thought that came to me during this sleepless night.)

 _I want him_ , Baz that is. I want him so much I can’t think about anything else. I’m pretty sure I always wanted him, _viciously_.

How should I go about to make it happen? (Baz and me getting together.)

Obviously, I can’t keep watching him from the tree… That would be a complete violation of his privacy. (Yes, I do recognize the irony of it all.) (I’m not _that_ dumb.)

I should get him flowers and chocolate and ask him out on a date. (That’s what people do right? I never gave Agatha anything so I don’t actually know…)

And honestly, after _all_ of the things I’ve seen Baz doing it’s almost as if flowers _aren’t enough_. 

When a relationship progresses that _far_ intimately, isn’t it when the bloke should give jewellery to the girl? (I don’t know if Baz likes jewellery.) 

Not that I see Baz as a girl. _He most definitely is not._

_Baz is all bloke._

From his perfect face to his perfect arse. (And _everything_ in between.) 

What I meant is that I’m obviously interested in everything that is _Baz_ , but the qualities that make my pants extra tight are all very...well very _bloke-like_ qualities…

For instance his perfect cock. _I want it._ I want to do anything I could do to it. What _could_ I be allowed to do to Baz’s cock?

Would Baz possibly be interested in my mouth around his cock? I’m positive that I won’t be able to think about anything else until I get to do that — my mouth on his cock sucking and tasting his come. (Seems it wasn’t the scones I was craving all this time after all.)

And I need to kiss Baz too, his lips, neck and swipe my tongue over his nipples. ( _Would he like that?_ )

I also _need_ to lick and kiss his stomach. And I wonder if I could help him to prepare his arse with my tongue. I have quite a _powerful_ tongue. (I’m used to licking popsicles all summer long and I liked it so much, I would even wank after.) I always thought I liked licking them because I was hot… 

But now when I think about it I usually got myself a popsicle after thinking about Baz. (And something tells me those two topics might be connected.)

_What else could I lick on Baz?_

The possibilities are limitless. I’d lick all of him if I could. ( _Could I?_ ) Would Baz _let_ me? Does he like me? I know Baz used to watch me a lot back at Watford. I thought it was because he wanted to _kill_ me. (But back then I also thought I wanted to _fight_ him.) If I was wrong about wanting to fight him, could I also be wrong about Baz wanting to kill me? 

He’s so fucking talented. If Baz really wanted to kill me, I’d be dead tenfolds by now.

_Why was Baz watching me?_

I really hope it’s because he fancies me too.

So perhaps there is a much more expanded list in my head of all the things I need to do to him than I initially thought. 

_What does Baz want?_

What flowers does he like? I’ve noticed that he has a lot of blue in his room. Maybe I should give him some blue flowers. I need to ask a professional I guess. 

I need to get myself something nice to wear too. Baz always looks pristine and I don’t want him to be embarrassed by me on our date. 

It’s not like I can’t afford nice things. I have that huge bag of leprechaun gold I keep in my wardrobe. Penny has done some calculations on how much I will get from a Normal bank for the gold. According to her, it’ll be a hefty sum. I just never cared enough about those things before. Never really had a reason to dress up. 

Agatha never cared about how I looked or dressed. At least she never said anything. Or maybe she did and I wasn’t paying attention.

I think it’s fair to assume that I was not capable in hearing anything Agatha had to say if Baz was in _any_ proximity at the time or if I was thinking about him ( _If_ I was thinking about him? _Don’t make me laugh…_ )

Penny was right that what Agatha and I had wasn’t a suitable relationship. I just thought that she meant I wasn’t suitable for Agatha and that made me mad (I thought Penny was saying that I wasn’t good enough.)

But the truth of it all is that _I’m indeed not suitable for Agatha_ but for entirely different reasons than I initially thought. I got more excited about sour cherry scones than spending any time with Agatha. If I had to choose what I couldn't live without on a deserted island, that would be Baz. I mean I won't say no to the scones, but they aren't as important. As it turns out I crave to put other things in my _mouth_...

 _Huh…_ Did Penny know that I’m gay? _Why didn’t she just tell me that?_

But now I do have a _reason_ to look good. It’s _Baz_. (He cares about appearance a lot.) He’s always beautifully dressed and very tidy. Not that he wouldn’t look good otherwise. Baz would look good in anything. He’ll even look good in _my_ clothes. 

I suddenly have an _intense need_ to see Baz wearing my clothes. (Now I certainly need better clothes, — he would never put anything ugly on.)

When I think about it, Baz has been the root cause for most of the decisions I have ever made in my life, both good and bad. (Mostly bad because I’m _definitely_ dumb.)

This time I know it’s a good decision. I will start taking care of all the details in a few hours (I only work until twelve today) and go over to Baz’s home tomorrow to ask him out. 

_I just hope Baz will want to go out with me._

  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

# BAZ

I found out today where Snow is spending his summer. He is working at a bakery here in Hampshire. That explains his _normal_ weight. Snow usually starves during the summer. 

That first day when I realized Snow was “visiting” me I was trying to figure out a way to leave some food out for him without him knowing that I did that if he ever showed up again. (Not that I thought he would. I was convinced he wouldn’t return after seeing me wank. It was simply farfetched wishful thinking on my part.)

But the second day Snow has indeed come back. I could see him better after he relocated to the tree just outside my window. (He didn’t look starved.) That is why I decided not to risk it. 

I know what you think. Leaving food out for Snow should have been the _best_ way to ensure that he’ll come back. But he kept coming back to the tree nonetheless even without food. 

That was also one of the reasons I thought maybe Simon is genuinely interested in me. I only ever seen him _that_ eager for roast beef and sour cherry scones. 

I wonder what Snow would choose if he had to, me or sour cherry scones? Probably the scones. But I might come on an honorary second place. Is it still honorary second place if there are only two contestants?

* * *

Snow lives on the top floor of the bakery. It wasn’t difficult to track him, I just had to follow his scent. (There are certain perks to being a vampire, not many, but _some_.)

I haven’t tried to track Snow all week. I had various reasons for abstaining. (Even if it was painful not to go and look for him now that he was close by.)

Reason number one — I might accidentally confess my undying love for him. Because seeing Snow outside of school, in a more casual environment would undoubtedly mess with my mind. (I can’t do that. I don’t want to scare him off with my love.)

Reason number two — Snow might have gotten spooked if he ever saw me and wouldn’t come back to the tree. (I would have died if that ever happened. I’m only half dead.)

Reason number three — I don’t know how to act around Simon without being a complete arsehole. I want _him_ and I dare to hope that there is some interest in him towards _me_ as well. But I don’t know how to flirt. 

_How does one flirt?_

I googled it. The first suggestion was to ask or comment about any hobby the subject of your desire might have _._

That last one is the cause for me currently standing nervously at the bakery in Hampshire and asking Snow, “Snow, how have you been? Killed any innocent creatures lately?”

 _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

I highly doubt it came out as _flirting_. I also tried to smile while stating this most offensive question and that ended up being half smirk half sneer...

I must look _mental._

# SIMON

Baz came into the bakery. How did he know I work here? Is this because he knows I work here or does he come here sometimes? Haven’t seen him before… Why is Baz here? Does he know? Has he figured it all out?

I got very nervous right from the start. I wasn’t sure what to do, what to say and where to look. Because honestly, I was terrified that I will look at his lips or his crotch and he’ll know somehow what I’ve been doing in my spare time.

_Christ…_

Baz looks so _hot_. He’s wearing snug jeans and a different blue button up. (He sure likes blue a lot.) His hair is a bit loose around his face. Baz is so lovely like this. I just want to reach over and kiss him right now. (I don’t because I’m not a complete moron.)

But It’s all I can think about. I want to make his lips pink with my mouth and tongue, and not only his lips… I can’t get Bar’s arse out of my mind. (I will never be able to do that. It’s imprinted on my retina for the rest of my life, that’s for sure.)

What did Baz ask about? Something about what I’ve been doing? 

Does he know where I’ve been spending my afternoons and a few evenings? Is that _why_ he is asking? Is it written all over my _face_?

I’m trying my best to faint ignorance and try to laugh a bit. (That’s what innocent people do, _right?_ They laugh _._ )

# BAZ

I have no idea what is happening here. It doesn’t seem as if Snow heard me correctly though. ( _Thank magic._ )

He chuckled and then almost _choked_ on that chuckle. 

At least I’m not the only one embarrassed and nervous.

He swallows and blushes. Snow has the longest neck and the showiest swallow I’ve ever seen. It’s a privilege to watch up close. He’s so beautiful. I feel myself blush too. (Snow will probably notice this time.)

“No no...Busy- I mean, busy here at the bakery. Haven’t had time to leave even once.”

I know for a fact that Snow did indeed have time to leave more than once. He had time to sit on a tree outside of my window for hours at a time, wanking alongside myself. (I don’t tell him that.) I’m not a moron. Well… I try not to be. Today I’ve been doubting my own intelligence repeatedly.

# SIMON

I can hardly comprehend half of the things Baz is saying. I am busy trying _very_ hard to not look at his crotch. I _should_ be looking in his eyes. But then if I looked in his eyes, it might get worse somehow. 

When it comes to leaving me speechless and flustering, the distracting list goes like that. Baz’s arse takes the prize, then his eyes, then his crotch, then his lips, then his hair and the rest of him. 

And when you put all those parts combined into one human being, I feel although I should just put myself on fire or go off.

I have no idea what to say to Baz, he caught me by surprise. I was positive that I might spill _everything_ to him right then and there if I looked at him for too long.

I might sound a bit strange or angry. (I think.) But I’m not angry, at least not at Baz. I have no idea how I seem on the outside. (In my mind I’m ready to explode, not with my magic but out of embarrassment.) (My magic has been quiet lately for some reason.) 

I want to tell Baz what I did because you should never start a relationship out of a lie. (I heard Penny say that, so it must be true.) 

But the thing is if I tell Baz now, he’ll never give me a chance. That is why it’s better to make him like me first and then tell him. (I’m sure it’s common sense.)

I just get flustered by Baz. (That’s nothing new.) What _is_ new is me knowing why I get like that around him. 

Have I digressed to my regular behaviour around him? I don’t know what to say. Is this how I normally am around Baz or is this very odd behaviour? Will he suspect anything? And in that case, what exactly will he make of it? Will Baz assume that I fancy him? (I don’t mind that.) Or will he suspect that I have been spying on him? (I mind _that_.)

At least I haven’t stammered as much. (I think.)

I want him. And it’s _more_ than want. I want to know what he likes and doesn’t like. (Actually, I know a lot about those already) I’ve always paid attention to _Baz_ , almost exclusively. If I could fill a book of everything I know 90% of it would be about Baz. This isn’t purely physical for me. And I still don’t even know if he _fancies me_.

# BAZ

Snow hardly stammers through the conversation, and he doesn’t look angry like he usually does around me. He doesn’t look happy either, (Just awkward.) Does he regret everything?

At that moment I was convinced that whatever I thought about Snow wanting me was only a part of my imagination, nothing changed, I made it all up.

 _Was I finally going mad after years of loving Snow from afar?_

Has he even been there up in the tree watching me? Has my subconscious twisted that and I dreamed it all up?

“How have you been, Baz?” Snow repeats my question. (Must have been the only part he heard.) 

He’s looking anywhere except for where I’m standing. And well that could either be a great compliment on his part and mean that Snow enjoyed the last week very much or something _less_ flattering. At least it means I didn’t imagine him up in the tree watching me. What we shared this past week _was_ real.

“Grand,” I say and then add “How about you, Snow?”

 _Finally!_ I was polite. It’s practically flirting and much better than anything else I said to him today. _Oh…_ I already asked him that question. I wonder if Snow will notice.

“Fine...fine... Working here over summer. I’m staying above the shop. That’s where the room is, my bedroom that is... I’m not talking about anyone else’s bedroom, just mine obviously… I don’t even know where other people’s bedrooms are...”

Simon couldn’t have given himself away more if he _tried_ . He is terribly nervous and rosy. (He looks _lovely_.) He hasn’t noticed my earlier repeat of the question, that’s for sure. 

I don’t want him to stress like this. I want to kiss him right now. (I can’t do that.) What I can do is to try and say something nice and kind, and soothe him a little. 

“Almost like having a real home, _eh_?”

 _For snakes’ sake!_ I’m the real _imbecile_ between the two of us! 

I want Snow to _fuck_ me, not to punch me. I also want him to fall in love with me. (That’s obviously out of the question.)

Where did the “eh” even come from? Am I pretending to be a drunk sailor at a brothel by any chance? And why would I think that Simon would want _that_ ? Surely the real _me_ is better than a drunk sailor. (Despite me being a vampire. I have noticed that Snow wasn’t wearing his cross even once when he visits the tree.)

I wonder what Simon’s type is? I don’t look anything like Wellbelove with her golden hair and tanned skin… I don’t think I’ll look good as a blond with my skin palette being what it is… (Might wash me out completely.)

# SIMON

What is wrong with me? Why did I tell Baz that? It was practically an _admission_ of knowing where Baz’s bedroom is and that I was watching him…

Maybe he didn’t notice.

I’ve never interacted with Baz outside of Watford. Perhaps he’ll think that I’m always awkward like this during summer. 

Is there any chance Baz might actually believe that? ( I doubt that very much.)

Baz is _so_ pretty and _so_ close to me and I can’t even _look_ at him properly.

_Concentrate, Simon! And whatever you do, don’t look at his crotch!_

So I tried to look in Baz’s eyes instead and almost told him that he is the prettiest person in the world. (That’s way too early for that. I don’t want to scare him off with my overeagerness.)

 _Fuck! Abort!_ New plan. Don’t look in his eyes either! 

And then I accidentally looked at his crotch _again_. At least those were very _covert_ glances. There’s no chance Baz had time to see that. 

I did notice that Baz is blushing today too just as much as yesterday. He looks so beautiful like that. This must be a good sign? Unless he’s blushing because I’m embarrassed him right now? 

_Jesus fucking Christ._ Where _can_ I look at Baz? Where is it safe for me to look without imagining Baz on his bed, on his back naked under me with my cock deep inside his arse and my lips on his, or Baz leaning against this counter right here while I’m on my knees and my mouth around his cock, sucking hard… I want Baz’s cock in my mouth desperately… And I also want to kiss Baz and lick him somewhere… _anywhere_ really… I have a long list of everything I want to do to him. (Most of it _isn’t_ innocent.)

_Fucking hell!_

This isn’t going well at all. Baz is saying something I can hear and I _want_ to listen. (It’s not like with Agatha. I want to know _everything_ Baz has to say.)

But I have trouble concentrating because I’m _well_ embarrassed. I’m worried Baz will somehow know what I did.

He said something about home I think. Is he wondering if I’m spending a lot of time in my room?

“Yeah...That’s right, have been staying put all day long. I don’t know anyone here... so no reason to go out.. at all. Just staying here… Nowhere else...” 

And as I started to talk, I can’t just shut up can I now? 

“I’d probably just get lost and that might be a real problem since clearly, I don’t know anyone here... Well, you can imagine yourself how that is...You are at a new place and don’t know anyone, right?”

# BAZ

Snow flushed everywhere I can see and I want to lick his blush. I could lick him right _there_ . There aren’t any other customers around, (I don’t because he might not come back to the tree.) I _need_ Snow to come back. I also would prefer him to come back on the other side of the window even more. I want Snow in my room, _naked_. The things I would do to him if we were naked in my bed… (Well I’m sure it’ll make even the drunk sailor I’m apparently pretending to be, blush.)

Sliding onto his majestic cock comes to mind… and licking those _moles_ … and finally touching his curls… (I wonder if they are soft or more dense like Snow.)

Another thought that comes to mind is that I could get behind that counter and get my hand inside his trousers and finally know how Snow’s cock would feel in my hands. (And look like too! I only got a glance of it yesterday. I need to see _more_.)

I can’t do any of that… What I actually could do is tell him that he looks nice today. Would that be stupid or desperate or would he think I meant it as an insult or will he know that I’m in love with him?

I don’t tell him that he looks nice, even though he does, sexy and lovely too all rosy cheeked. 

Snow is throwing less than discrete glances towards my crotch. For the rest, he looks almost like he always does when confronting me, — flustered but also nervous.

_Am I making Snow nervous?_

At least it’s enough to convince me that this might actually be true. Snow wants me.

Then I start to wonder in light of these recent revelations if this means that he wanted me before as well? 

_How long has Snow wanted me?_ And does he actually _want_ me or is it all in my head?

It could very well be that this is just something my brain cooked up yet again… I don’t think there is anything wrong with my memory, but that wouldn’t matter if I am indeed going mad.

 _Crowley_. I keep confusing myself. I’m not sure of anything anymore. But there is some hope in me about Snow for once in my life…

Everything might not be lost yet. 

I came here today because I couldn’t stay away from him any longer. I’m in love with Simon and I was desperate to see him. I’m weak for those ordinary yet perfect blue eyes and stubby brown eyelashes I could never get enough of and those moles I _need_ to lick.

_Concentrate, Basilton!_

Simon has just said that he doesn’t know anyone here.

“I live in Hampshire,” I state and I don’t even _sneer_. There I go and have a normal conversation with Simon Snow. We are definitely flirting now.

# SIMON

I really should stop talking. But apparently, I can’t make myself stop now that I am on a roll. 

“I mean I know _you_ of course. But I didn’t even know exactly where until I- I mean I don’t know much... it’s not like I’m writing down the addresses of all our classmates or anything...”

Well, that wasn’t a lie at least. I haven’t written down every classmates address, only Baz’s. (Which again should have been a clue that I fancied him.)

Baz has been listening to me with a very strange expression on his face. Does he know or at least suspect? Have I just told him I’ve been visiting the tree outside his bedroom already without noticing that I did? 

Why isn’t Baz sneering at me? He always sneers. Today, he’s just being nice and asks me questions, a real chit chat if you will. (I’m not sure I hear them all, but I am trying very _hard_ here.) 

Baz is being nice to me when he clearly doesn’t have to. Does it mean he fancies me? Does this count as flirting? (I think it does.)

 _Merlin..._ I might be more confused _now_ than I ever was in my life. (And I wasn’t sure if I was gay a day ago.)

# BAZ

Snow is alternating between stammering and talking non stop, almost too fast to understand. (I can understand because as it turns out I speak five languages, the fifth being nervous Snow.)

But what he’s saying makes very little sense. It seems Snow’s primary concern right now is to make sure that I don't think he left the bakery even once since he got the job. (Which is ridiculous.)

Snow is clearly not listening too much to what _I’m_ saying. I count that as a _blessing_. This hasn’t been one of my brightest moments.

One never knows how long Snow’s hearing impairment will last. Perhaps he will become coherent any time now. I need to be very _careful_ with what I say next.

“I would like to purchase some blueberry scones. Have you baked them yourself or are they edible?”

_Aleister fucking Crowley! Not again!_

Snow should just punch me right now. Maybe it’ll make me say something smarter or at the very least shut up.

# SIMON

I’m trying to pay attention, but _fuck_ , it’s so difficult. Something about blueberry scones?

“Yeah...Great choice. Those are my favourite here... Baked them myself… yes... sure thing... I’m here almost twenty-four seven, baking, to be honest... No time to do anything else, really...”

Was it a nice save or am I getting more suspicious by the minute? I might be talking a bit too much and a tad too fast...

 _Oh_ , I forgot to ask.

“How many did you want?”

# BAZ

“Two dozen,” I say although I have no idea for whom I’m buying that many. Daphne and my siblings are visiting my stepmother’s family. But Simon said he baked them himself. I get to put something that Simon Snow held in his hands in my mouth. (Made with his _hands_.)

That’s a nice thought… I want to put Simon in my mouth, and not only my mouth… If he’d offered to fuck me right now on the dirty floor of this bakery, I would have agreed. (That might count as breaking a few sanitation rules and less then hygienic conditions but I wouldn’t care.)

When Simon handed me the paper bags filled with scones our fingers touched for a brief moment, and it felt incredible. This is the first time Simon and I ever were physical without a fight. The touching might not qualify entirely as _flirting_ but I really want to believe that we were flirting earlier at least. 

# SIMON

Baz’s fingers feel like a bolt of lightning on my skin even though they are cold. I want to feel more of him. I want to have more of him and I’m getting even more nervous. That is the reason why the next thing that flew out of my mouth is, “Was there anything else I can get you, mate?” 

_Fuck!_

_Great snakes,_ why would I call Baz _mate_? 

This is sure not flirting anymore...

He most definitely is not my mate. That’s not what I want. I want him to be my _boyfriend_. (I figure that one out during last night and this morning. I have feelings for Baz.) 

I can’t tell him that yet. I need to court him first. That’s how people do it, I think. I have no idea, honestly. I’ve never been in a relationship before. 

_Oh…_ wait. I was dating Agatha for three years. (I keep forgetting that.) 

But this is different obviously. I _want_ to be with Baz. It’s all I can think about. Well, that and fucking him a lot. (But the two are connected in my mind.)

Baz sneers at me this time. And I can’t blame him. I deserved that one. We’ve been flirting and I went and ruined it. Were we _flirting_? Baz is being very nice to me, that must be flirting.

# BAZ

I thought well… I don’t know what I thought exactly... I thought something might happen when I came here. That he’ll say he enjoyed watching me but now wants to get more comfortable in bed with me.

Perhaps I wasn’t expecting Simon to tell me exactly those things _specifically_. But something, some indication that he wants me, at least a little. 

And then Snow went and called me “mate”.

_Aleister Crowley…_

But he’s nervous. Maybe this wasn’t premeditated? Do I even dare to hope?

I need to try and get us back on track.

 _Back on track?_ I have been swinging insults at him in almost every sentence. Which track am I talking about here exactly? The one where Simon Snow is going to punch me and possibly break my nose _again_? 

That would still be considered touching me. I’m desperate for any touch I can get. But that isn’t the kind of intimacy I had in mind when I came here.

I need a good segway to a different subject.

“Long day at work then?” I ask.

_What does that even mean?_

But at least it wasn’t an insult. I call that _progress_.

_Good save, Basilton!_

# SIMON

“Oh- No, I only have to work till twelve today... I asked to get off work earlier because... I need- Have some things to do... later...” I answer and wish I would have phrased it better. Now it sounds as if I’m going on a secret mission or plotting something.

Well, I am going on a secret mission to get me some nice clothes that Baz might like seeing me in, shoes too. I also need a haircut because my hair looks terrible. (Even I can see that.)

But Baz doesn’t have to know that. And he doesn’t know. At least I managed not to tell him _that_ part.

# BAZ

Snow is going somewhere? Does it mean he won’t come back to the tree? Does he not want me anymore? Did he ever _want_ me to begin with?

I shouldn’t overthink this. It could be a short errand… Perhaps Snow needs to go to a pharmacy. Does he have any allergies? Or maybe a grocery store. But wouldn’t he just say grocery store then? 

What is this big mysterious errand Snow needs to run? Is he going to meet someone? Has Snow met a girl or a _boy_ during the time he isn’t working or sitting in a tree watching me? (Is there _any_ free time in between?) Is Snow going on a date with someone? Did he already forget about _me_?

Snow seems very nervous and looks as though he has something to hide.

Why is he blushing even more? _Is_ it a date? _Where_ is he going? 

Maybe I should just follow him wherever it is he is going. (At least for the sake of my mental health.)

I ask myself again, why is Snow blushing and still averting his eyes from me?

“Don’t let me keep you then. Good day, Snow.”

# SIMON

“Bye, Baz,” I answered and did not to call him “mate” this time. I feel very proud of myself for that. 

It was very nice to have Baz here. We might’ve been flirting, at least until I called him “mate”. I wasn’t ready for any functional interactions with Baz yet. And I was so worried about embarrassing myself too much. That is why Baz leaving was the best thing that could have happened to me, even if I didn’t want him to leave. 

I got to see Baz’s arse on his way out. He was wearing a pair of very snug jeans. (I’m just glad I didn’t see his arse when he came to the bakery. I probably wouldn’t have been able to speak at all.)

This whole conversation with Baz might not have gone _great_ , but it could have unquestionably gone worse. I count that as a win.

I wonder if Baz is at all suspicious about where I’m going later. Hopefully, I covered my tracks well enough. I’m really glad that my work day is almost over, I have so much to do today.

_How would Baz prefer me to dress the most?_

Are there any specific clothes that would make him want to rip it all of me and let me lick his body and suck his cock. (I’m genuinely curious because that’s what I’d go for if there are.) 

# BAZ

I run away from the bakery in the speed of light. (Before I say something embarrassing and Snow will manage to hear it _correct_ for once.)

While exiting the bakery I could clearly see in the glass reflexion that Simon was checking out my arse. It fuels me with hope.

 _Oh…_ Snow told me he was leaving around twelve… It’s only half past ten. I wonder if he is now suspicious that I left so abruptly? Will Snow guess that I will leave the scones at home and follow him to wherever it is he is going? (I hope it’s not a _date_ . Surely twelve o’clock is too _early_ for a date?)

I will first need to eat one scone before I leave because Simon baked them. He _touched_ those scones.

_I’m going to savour every bite._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

# BAZ

After dropping the scones off at home and devouring one while thinking about Simon’s _hands_ on it, I left for the bakery. ( _Yes_ , I wanked while eating that scone. I’ve already admitted to being disturbed.)

As in true vampire fashion, I stayed behind in the shadows waiting for Snow to leave so I could stalk him. (I was hiding behind another store.)

Snow went to a shopping centre of all places. Is it where people go on dates nowadays? Am I out of touch? Or just because I lack any experience in the dating department?

As I follow Snow (at a safe distance), I notice that he seems to have come here to do a bit of shopping. And yes, that _should_ make perfect sense for a person to do at a shopping centre, but Snow got really embarrassed when talking about what he was going to do today, and hasn’t actually said that this is where he was planning to go. I find that quite odd. (I can’t help but wonder if I’ve turned into Snow with all this recent paranoia. Am I going to accuse _him_ of plotting now?)

It’s just that since my brain has decided that this was a date, I’m going to spy on Snow, and then go and get my heart broken in a few dozen different ways. That is why I’m more than surprised to see Snow walking _alone_ from clothing store to clothing store. I do start pondering about what kind of interests Simon has that I don’t know about. 

I’m hiding behind a rack of colourful sundresses in Marks & Spencer but I can still see that Snow is pulling a few different kinds of blue button ups and looking very distraught. (Is blue his favourite colour too? Or is he trying to match his eyes? When did Simon Snow get into _fashion_?) 

I always thought all he ever wore outside of school uniform were trackies. (It’s what he’s wearing now too.) It’s the opposite of peak of fashion, but he still looks good in them. Simon Snow would look good in anything. He would look even better _naked_. I have already seen him shirtless,— what a sight! I could see myself locking myself and a naked Simon in my bedroom and keep him there for the rest of the summer. (We’ll live off _love_ , well, that and whatever Vera cooks for us.)

Maybe I should help him. It’s the right thing to do. (I tell myself this is my reason even though I know for a fact that I would have gone over even if Simon hasn’t looked agitated over the shirts.)

I walk towards him and try not to startle him. Somehow I seem to act around Snow as if though he is the deer and I’m a bear or was it a wolf? I know fuck all about those things,— I never watched Bambi as a child. I do want to eat him, (not necessarily with my fangs.)

“ _Snow_. Fancy seeing you twice in one day.”

I think I’m becoming really good at _flirting_. 

_Was_ that flirting?

# SIMON

I still feel nervous after seeing Baz earlier. I’m not sure I left a good impression. I _need_ to do better tomorrow.

I’m trying to get any button up that looks remotely like the colour Baz was wearing yesterday and today. (Apparently, there are _varieties_ of blue out there.) I want to make sure that Baz will like the things I get...

Then I hear Baz’s voice and I almost drop the whole pile of shirts I’ve been holding. But I _didn’t_ drop them and I looked at Baz’s face even. (But I might be blushing _again_.)

“ _Baz_. Hey.” I might be speaking like a normal person this time. I even dare to add. “What are you doing here?” Was that too forthcoming? Baz doesn’t have to tell me what he does in his spare time. (I certainly haven’t been telling _him_ what I’ve been up to lately.) But I do want to know if he’s meeting someone here? Is he going on a date? I want Baz to go on a date with _me_.

“Doing a bit of shopping before the crowds show up.” 

That’s a great relief right there, Baz _isn’t_ here for a date. 

I had no idea there will be crowds coming. I thought it was supposed to be empty on account of it not even being midday.

“Thank you for telling me. I should hurry then,” I say because Baz might have just saved me from a very uncomfortable afternoon and I don’t want to keep him from his own errands. (I’m trying to make a good impression.) 

# BAZ

What the hell did I just say? Snow will clearly see the empty shopping centre and know I was lying. Most people are at work. There won’t be anyone here for hours. 

I _swear_ I’m very smart under normal circumstances. But these clearly aren’t those. I just followed Snow to a store, this is not my normal behaviour.

But what’s done is done. I need to move forward. Snow is here, as am I. Time to “Carpe diem” as Normals say.

“Care for some company, Snow?” I ask and don’t sneer this time _either_. (I’ve been surprising myself with my ability to flirt.)

# SIMON

I sure am lucky that Baz happened to need to do some shopping of his own and offered to do it together with me. I am nervous though, I’m clearly _not_ prepared. (At least if judging from our earlier encounter at the bakery where I could hardly hear half of what Baz said.) 

But I will try to make this work. This might be good practice for when I ask him out. I should try to talk to him more. How do you flirt with someone exactly? I did manage it back at the bakery fairly well after all and I didn’t even hear half of the conversation.

“Um- yes. Are you sure this is your kind of store?” I don’t think this is posh enough for Baz. Not that I know for sure, I have been aimlessly walking from store to store. (I may have got lost a bit too. I’m not used to shopping at all.)

Baz raises one eyebrow at me. (He’s so _hot_.)

“There’s nothing wrong with this store, besides we should probably check a few to find the right fit.” Baz is both gorgeous _and_ smart. I haven’t even thought about the right fit, I’ve only been worried about finding the right _colour_.

“If you really don’t mind,” I say because I don’t want to make Baz feel like he has to even though I want him here with me, ( I want him to like me.)

# BAZ

“Not at all,” I try my hardest for any show of nonchalance I can master at this point. (I’m desperate to stay here with him.) “Let’s check what you have so far, why don’t we?” 

“I found these because- because they are- um nice,” Snow stammers and looks extremely embarrassed. He makes no sense at all. But before I have time to think about any reasons for his behaviour I look in his beautiful eyes and almost get lost in them. 

_Concentrate, Basilton!_

Yes, alright... In order to win Snow over, I have to flirt more _aggressively_.

# SIMON

“Some of them don’t look half bad, Snow. I’m impressed.” Baz might be smiling. (I’m not sure because I’ve been looking into his eyes for far too long to notice anything else.) 

“Thank you?” This is harder than I thought but I’m listening to Baz this time. _Truly listening._ (I hope.)

I wanted to buy things I thought Baz might like but it’s better that he’s here himself. I’ll know he likes my clothes if he has chosen them for me himself. It's much easier this way. I’m lucky Baz happened to be here at the same time as me. I’ve been lucky a lot lately. I wonder if there have been any sightings of fairies. (They bring good luck don’t they?)

I get to spend some time with Baz. This is so much better than the tree. I get to be closer to him. (This time Baz knows that I’m close to him and he seems fine with it.)

And I almost managed not to imagine what I want to do to Baz in the middle of this store.

For example, I could see myself pulling Baz behind that tall rack of garments over there and snog him while letting my hands squeeze his arse and pull him against me and, if possible, slip my hand inside his snug jeans and get him off in the middle of the store. 

I think it’s all we could do. It doesn’t seem very realistic to go all the way here, does it? We could do that back in his room. (I’d see him naked again and up close.) I would finally get to lick and kiss Baz’s body. Would licking his arse before we had our first date be considered appropriate behaviour? 

(I said _almost_ managed not to imagine anything.)

# BAZ

I don’t really understand why Snow suddenly needs a change of wardrobe. This can’t be about the money.

Yes, he has a summer job, but Snow has also a bag full of gold in his wardrobe back at school. I may have indulged myself in going through his things a few times. Just to smell them. (Not in a creepy way, I don’t think.)

“What are you shopping for exactly?” I ask him.

“Um- Shirts, trousers and well... shoes. And whatever else you think I might need…,” Snow answers and looks embarrassed again.

 _What does it mean?_ I find it unusual that he is this excited about shopping now all of a sudden and this new unexplainable desire for a new wardrobe. Snow never struck me as the most fashion oriented person. (He doesn’t have the need to be, Simon is perfect no matter what.)

“Why this sudden wardrobe change, Snow?” I ask because I have to know. I have a fleeting suspicion that this doesn’t bode well for me at all.

“Well- I might- um- I mean I um- need it. _Yes!_ I need it.” Snow’s whole body seems to have gone red and the stammer is back with a vengeance. (This is the bakery all over again when Snow tried to hide where he was going.)

Is he planning to dress up for someone? Will there be a date this evening? Is he not coming back to _me_ , to the tree? (I decide it’s better for my sanity not to think about that too much.)

I will help him of course because I’m desperate for whatever time I get to spend with Simon. I’m desperate for _him_.

“You’re lucky I’m here then,” I say and try to believe that there is even a slight chance Snow cares about me being here with him.

”I am lucky,” He answers and gifts me with the most radiant smile. I’m not sure I understand what Snow means by that. But perhaps there might be some hope for me. (I seem to alternate between hope and absolute despair in the span of seconds.)

Snow does whatever I tell him and doesn’t argue with me at all during this shopping endeavour which is surprising. I’m used to Snow fighting me every moment we are in each other’s orbit. (Not really arguing, more growling at me and calling me all kinds of colourful obscenities Snow has in his vocabulary.) It almost looks as if though Snow might actually enjoy my company right now. 

Is it possible or is it all in my head yet again? Do I simply have a vivid imagination? Or is it Snow’s doing? Snow managed to be messing with my head. That is why it’s all so confusing. 

What is this? What does he want? Also, why is Snow trying to swipe all the blue items his eyes catch a glimpse of?

Snow just grabbed an atrocious blue shirt if you could even call it that, with printed words of encouragement all over it. I swat his hand away. (I just touched Simon _again_.) “ _Crowley_ , no, put that away, Snow. Why don’t you try this shirt right here instead?” I hand him a beautiful summer button up in a medium shade of grey that will look heavenly on him. It’s a bit snug in all the right places and it will emphasize Simon’s upper arm muscles and his broad shoulders. (All that sword swinging have done wonders for his arms and shoulders. I’m talking about his actual sword _this_ time.) 

“That’s my favourite colour,” Snow exclaims and then blushes even more. (Snow’s been blushing a lot and every time he does I feel weak in my knees.) I get the overwhelming _need_ to lick his blush.

_Why would he blush at that?_

And how can grey be someone’s favourite colour? It’s not even a colour. But it looks amazing against his tawny skin. 

I accompany Snow to the changing stall, (So he won’t get lost, not because I’m hoping he will invite me in.) and wait for him in one of the armchairs in the lounge beside the stall. (Fine, you caught me, I am hoping Snow will suggest I help him inside the stall.) I’m continuing to google more information about flirting while I wait for Snow to come out and show me my hard work. Apparently, light touching could be considered flirting as well. (I’ve been doing _that_ in full today.)

”What do you think, Baz?” Snow asks when he’s out and looks way too shy and self conscious. Do they not have mirrors in the stall or has he by any chance lost his eyesight in the last five minutes?

Simon looks stunning and radiant in the grey button up. He looks like something I want to devour with my mouth.

”Not bad,” I answer and feel quite proud of myself for not insulting him. I do so wish I could have said something nicer. I wish I could tell Snow he looks _hot_ because he does. 

I could see myself tearing that shirt right from Snow’s upper body and licking every inch of his chest. And then I would lick lower and lower until I reach his trackies, push them down and get my tongue (and mouth) on his cock. I’ll lick and suck his cock right here if he’d let me. (There aren’t any people around at the moment, it’s midday.)

Snow smiles at that anyway.

”Should I take it?”

He looks unbelievably sexy in this button up and I desperately want him to get it. (I also hope I get to see him in it some time but I suspect this shirt is for somebody else to see Snow in, not me.)

I can’t help but wonder if we’re going to be done after he gets this shirt? I can’t let that happen.

”How many do you need?” It’s a simple question but Snow looks spooked at that.

”Um- Everything I might need for the summer I guess…” The stammer is back. (I have no idea why.) But Snow needs more clothes. In that case, I have more time on my hands. I’ll milk it for all I can.

”You can take it, but we were lucky to find a good one this quick. Might take longer with the rest. Let's see what else you might need.”

Now Snow wouldn’t get suspicious when I lure him to every single store here. 

”Am I not keeping you from your own shopping?” He asks and blushes. _Crowley_ , how am I going to survive the whole day with Snow _without_ licking his blush?

”Nonsense. You are a true disaster, Snow. I’m doing the whole world a favour by helping you to fix your wardrobe.”

Snow actually smiles at that. He must not have heard me correct just like at the bakery.

# SIMON

Baz and I took a break from shopping and got some coffee and talked about my work at the bakery. I think Baz is secretly very interested in baking. (He’s been asking me a lot of questions and most of them were very knowledgeable when it comes to the craft.)

I had a bit of trouble concentrating after I saw Baz lick the whipped cream directly from the cup. It was borderline pornographic and I’ve seen Baz with dildo up his arse. (Maybe it’s because I’m in such close proximity to Baz this time and he even knows I’m here and everything just gets better.) 

I can’t help but wonder if I smear some whipped cream on and around my cock will Baz lick it all up just as eagerly as he was licking the cream from the cup?

Why haven’t I thought of putting Baz’s tongue on the distraction list? It’d score rather high. I mean not as high as his arse or his eyes. ( _Nothing_ can beat that, but still.)

# BAZ

I was licking the extra whipped cream I asked for in my latte and making sure Snow saw me. (It wasn’t anything sexual, I do that all the time, I just wanted Simon to see how capable I am with my tongue, give him a hint if you will.)

While we were sitting at the cafe, I’ve been bombarding Snow with questions about baking to keep him talking. I may have a website with possible talking topics about baking open on my lap. (Snow hasn’t noticed me glancing on my mobile even once.)

When I googled flirting they did suggest to ask about important things or hobbies. Obviously, I’ve done poorly at the bakery. (But Snow hasn’t heard any of that as luck has it.) Right now though he is coherent, so I can’t mess this up.

“If you’d have to rate your favourite scones from ten to one, what would those be and in what order?” Look at me freeballing this. (I made that question up myself based on my knowledge about Snow.) 

Simon got so excited reciting his favourite scones we ended up talking about it for a good half an hour. He was smiling and laughing a lot. I could see a twinkle in his eyes every time he looked in my eyes. (It’s because I got him talking about his favourite topic.)

Seems I’m exceedingly good at flirting with hardly any training. (Who would have thought?)

# SIMON

Baz asked me about my favourite scones. (I have no idea why.) But as I was answering and rating them, he looked so satisfied and _happy_ for some reason. Baz was smiling a lot. So I just kept going on and on about the scones. Seeing Baz happy was doing unexplainable things to me. All I could think about was that I want to see him happy like this all the time. I’ll talk about scones for hours if I have to. 

I like scones a lot, sure, but I don’t want to talk about them. Besides, there are more important topics out there for me to concentrate on, for example, Baz’s arse and what I want to do with it. 

The answer is lots of things, and most of it involves my cock while in it’s erect form, which lately seems to be keeping this particular position almost nonstop in the presence of said arse. 

But I’m making Baz smile while talking about scones and I love his smile. 

_I love everything about him._

We’ve been flirting this whole time, I think, despite Baz playing with his mobile a bit. Perhaps he’s waiting for an important message from his family. (That’s what I’m trying to convince myself of.) I don’t want Baz to know that I’m jealous, so I just pretend I haven’t noticed how often he’s checking his mobile. 

Which isn’t an easy goal to accomplish with Baz swiping his fingers on the screen. I can’t help but remember how I spend all evening fantasizing about sucking on Baz’s finger after I saw him put one in his mouth and lick his own come from it. And then I got to see Baz sucking on it too and using another to finger himself. 

_Great snakes.._.How am I to successfully pretend I don’t notice anything Baz is doing by using his _fingers_. I want his finger in my mouth right now. 

I want Baz to finger my mouth. Is it the right way to say that? Or is it fuck my mouth or finger fuck? Maybe I should google it later so I don’t seem too inexperienced on the sexual front, because I’m extremely inexperienced. All I know about sex is what I learned from watching Baz over the last week. 

Baz sure seems to know what he’s doing. (I try not to think about any reasons to why that might be.) But back to the main topic. I want Baz’s finger in my mouth moving in and out and me licking and sucking on it. Two or three fingers would work just as good. (I can fit _a lot_ in my mouth.)

 _Merlin_ , well now I can’t stop thinking about how I need Baz’s cock in my mouth right this moment! That’s the best sort of popsicle right there and I’ll bet the best flavour too. I wish I could already try Baz’s come. I _need_ to know how he tastes. (I already know his come will be perfect because everything about Baz is perfect, but I need to sample all the same in order to satisfy whatever is brewing and about to burst inside of me.)

I just hope it’s not some potential suitor or his so called best friend Niall, texting him. I’m still a bit suspicious as to why exactly Niall is spelling his eyes muddy blue, with blue being Baz’s favourite colour and all. 

_My_ eyes are blue. Perhaps if Baz looks in them more often he’ll fall for me faster. (Back at Watford he almost never looked in my eyes.)

I asked Baz questions about football and his violin. If that’s not flirting than I don’t know what is.

“Are you practising the violin just as much during summer?” I almost gave myself up but then added at the last moment. “Not that I know much about any of your practices at Watford. I never even notice when you’re gone.”

I gather it wasn’t the best save. I wouldn't have said anything this stupid if Baz wasn’t looking at me with his beautiful grey eyes. (Is he trying to kill me or is this an interrogation strategy? I’ll spill all my secrets when he looks at me like _that_.) 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way saying that I want Baz to look less on me. As soon as Baz takes his eyes off me, I feel empty and start to doubt myself. 

When I feel Baz’s eyes on me it gives me hope that he might become interested in me eventually. And when Baz is looking right in my eyes, electricity is going through my whole body, in the best possible way. I want Baz to keep looking in my eyes. I try to catch any possibility for that.

# BAZ

Does Snow really think that I have no idea how much he followed me back at school? He knows I’m a vampire. (And even if I wasn’t, he’s hardly stealthy.)

I pretend I haven’t noticed. (I’m getting used to pretend not to notice things about him.) I just wish I could _not_ notice that he _isn’t_ in love with me. 

I managed to convince Snow to let me help him in finding something to wear because obviously I have excellent taste and he wants something nice for a date with _someone_. (I hate that person more than I ever hated Wellbelove. At least Snow was never dressing up for her. This new person is someone he must like a lot.)

Snow hasn’t said anything about a date but he stammered when I asked why he needed new clothes and went all red. (I had my answer right there.) 

Still, I don’t want to ruin this perfect moment. (I might not get another one.)

“I practice every day. Practice makes _perfect_ ,” I say and take my own advice and lock eyes with him yet again. (If I end up catching fire, at least it’s a good way to go, — looking in Simon’s most beautiful eyes in the world.) 

I’m trying to disregard the blush I feel creeping up my cheeks every time I glance at Snow and he is looking right at me. (I pray he hasn’t noticed, it’s not like he’s constantly paying attention to me.) Now that I think about it, every time I look at Snow he is looking back at me. (That’s quite a coincidence.)

# SIMON

This whole day I’ve been alternating between embarrassed, nervous and aroused or usually all three at the same time and in their extreme cases nonetheless. But I’m trying my best. I have managed not to pull on my hair even once because I don’t want Baz to know how nervous I am. And I’m not wiping my mouth with a sleeve of my shirt like I usually do (use a tissue instead) and I’m trying very hard to keep my mouth closed. (Penny says it’s unattractive.) That’s not a small task to accomplish but I don’t want Baz to be disgusted with me. I have been trying to avoid doing everything Penny always criticizes me for. I never bothered before but this time I need to use manners.

The truth of it all is that when I really put my mind to something I can achieve a lot. I just don’t do it very often. If I think about it, I mostly only ever did try when Baz was concerned. 

Baz has always been my greatest, most important mission. I followed him day and night in our fifth year and loved doing it despite the lack of sleep. I even had the energy to sit in on each of his football and violin practices and look at Baz during classes. 

_Merlin_ , when I state it all like that, it sure is a true wonder how I haven’t realized my feelings sooner. (I am so fucking _thick_.) But that is neither here nor there. (I know _now_ what I feel and that’s what’s important.)

What I’m saying here is that I try and see this in a similar manner to my fifth year stalking and obsession with Baz. My mission is to manage to hear what Baz is saying despite being embarrassed, nervous and aroused and not make _too_ much of a fool of myself in front of Baz as I did at the bakery or during _all_ seven years at Watford. (I hope I’m putting up realistic goals.)

I also need to try my best and spend time with Baz in a way he might enjoy. Which also means that no matter how much I want to pull him behind those probably fake trees on the other side of the cafe and give him a hopefully very satisfying blowjob (as previously stated I’m very good with popsicles), I need to take this slow and give Baz time to get used to the idea of me in an intimate way a bit more. 

Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fantasizing about doing all the things I want to do to Baz. Neither will I stop hoping that we get to do it all _soon_. 

Baz isn’t making it easy for me, with his arse and his eyes, his crotch and his lips and tongue and hair and his slender fingers and just _him_. Baz is a walking advertisement advert for bachelor of the year.

But this is all about determination. And no one has ever been more determined or is more determined when it comes to Baz than I. 

I really hope this isn’t one sided. We are flirting, aren’t we? Baz is blushing a lot. (So am I.) I have to physically force myself from reaching out and brushing my fingers along his cheek. (Baz is so _beautiful_.) 

Of course, I want to lean in and kiss him. (I don’t do that because I don’t want to come on too strong.) 

I hope I have a chance with him. Baz must have so many people fawning over him every day. So he’s used to getting a lot of attention, he has a lot of options and practices no doubt. I don’t. I have never been the centre of everyone’s attention like Baz. I’m sure everybody at Watford fancies him and think about him all the time. I haven’t heard anyone talk about it, but it’s probably because everybody thought we were enemies and didn’t want to mention their infatuation with Baz in front of me. 

Baz is just perfect in _everything_. I’m nothing special except for my magic which I can’t even control. I’m not used to people being interested in me at all. At least I don’t think. I was so busy following Baz, looking at him or thinking about him, I never really had time for anything else. ( _Again_ , should have been a clue to how I feel about him.) 

That is why I have to try and win Baz over a bit more with my personality. (Do I even have one?) Penny says I make her laugh all the time, but I don’t think she means it as a compliment. She also says I care deeply when I bother to find something worth my time. 

I care a lot about Baz. I guess I could try to win him with my love but I don’t want to scare him off. This early in our relationship (could I call it that?), the _last_ thing Baz wants is my love. (I might not be sure of much but I am completely _sure_ about that.)

What is the right approach to win Baz over might not be too clear in my mind but I do know that I won’t ever stop. I never quit on anything I put my mind to. I spent years trying to prove Baz is a vampire, not once did I decide to give up. 

And perhaps this statement doesn’t seem like something positive and it’s definitely not. (Nobody should ever find out that Baz is a vampire, that could put him in danger.) What I mean is that I’m all in with this, just like I have always been when it came to Baz. The only difference is that I now know why I’m all in with Baz and what I actually want. 

_I want Baz to be my boyfriend._

I need it really, _desperately_. I have no idea what’ll happen to me if he rejects me. I can’t let that happen.

 _Personally,_ I don’t mind at all that Baz is a vampire, I like it a lot. I haven’t used my cross since I started spying on him. I forgot those few first times because I was too excited to see him without knowing why for sure (I’m a moron), and later I didn’t want to anymore. I’ve been having a few fantasies involving Baz’s fangs. Those fantasies were of a sexual nature, that is correct. Well, the fangs themselves weren’t, but the biting would occur during the heat of the moment if you catch my drift. 

For example, Baz could bite me while he’s already busy sucking on my neck during a more heated snogging session. Or Baz could bite me while I’m fucking him. I’m not entirely sure of the logistics but I’m very sure I want that.

 _I want to fill Baz with my come and my blood at the same time._

I need to both fill Baz inside his arse and his mouth somehow. That right there, well I think I might need it as soon as possible for the sake of my sanity. I might go mad if I don’t get to do that _soon_. I wonder if Baz would want my come or my blood?

 _Great snakes!_ It’s really hard _not_ to think about Baz in a sexual manner when he looks like _that_ , — sitting on the couch and looking at me.

# BAZ

After I ask all the questions I could about baking without making Snow suspicious of the fact that I am using a preexisted questionnaire on my mobile, I suggest continuing with our shopping.

“After you Snow,” I insist because I’m quite a gentlemen. (You are correct in assuming that I wanted to check out _his_ arse.) I’m undoubtedly as far from a gentleman as one could possibly come where Simon Snow is concerned. 

I want to press him against the inner door of the loo (after casting a quick cleaning spell, I might not be a gentleman but I’m not an animal), and have my way with him. 

By that, I mean any _reasonable_ scenarios. From a snogging session with my hands all over Snow and my tongue licking whatever exposed skin I could find, to me on my knees sucking his big cock and licking it clean from his come or Simon could come all over my face if he’d prefer. (I would like that very much. I want to be covered in Snow’s come.) He can come wherever he desires, _on_ me or _in_ me. Or if he’d rather come on his stomach and let me lick it all up.

If only Snow would let me do _any_ of that.


	12. Chapter 12

# SIMON

Baz hasn’t found that much for me to wear yet. (I think he's quite picky but I don’t mind. I only care about getting whatever Baz likes. And spend as much time with him as possible.) We have been here for a few hours. 

There might have been a lot of people just like Baz said but I haven’t noticed because I’ve been looking at him this whole time without any exceptions. 

Baz always walks a half step in front of me (so that he can see all the clothing better I guess) and I get to stare at his arse without him noticing.

Baz’s arse is _mesmerizing_. It has the perfect shape for groping, round but not too round, small enough to fit Baz’s body perfectly but big enough to put my hands on it. Baz is a footballer, so there is some good lean muscle too. (Baz’s arse is so close right now, I can actually have a chance to notice all of the details.)

Unfortunately, his jeans are in the way to really appreciate all the perks of his arse. _Perky_ — that’s the word. 

_Baz’s arse looks perky and delicious._

_Jesus Christ..._ I want my hands all over it, touching, palming, holding, squeezing. (Is Baz by any chance into spanking? I never thought I was, but as I’m looking at his arse I keep overflowing with ideas. I might nib him on his arse too if I ever get the chance, so long as Baz is alright with that of course.) 

I also want my cock in his arse. (Preferably right _now_.) That is the one constant, never changing thought I’ve been having since yesterday afternoon when I saw Baz fucking himself with a dildo, pushing in and pulling out, fast and hard. I _need_ to push my cock deep in _Baz’s arse_. I literally need it or I might undoubtedly explode in the near future. This is worse than going off, so much worse...

If there was a way to convince Baz that my cock is a better choice than his dildo... I am as I stated previously much more organic than the dildo, which is a point in my favour, I’m also bigger than the dildo. Will it make _any_ difference to Baz at all? (Does size _matter_ to him by any chance?)

If I only knew what to do or what to say. I’m not good with words, especially now, since all I can think about is fucking Baz when I see him walk there in front of me. ( _It’s all I can think about._ )

I accidentally stumbled right into Baz’s arse just when he happened to bend down a little probably to pick something up and I was pressed against him for a second. (It wasn’t intentional, I might be dumb but I’m not _that_ dumb.) 

I might have growled when my cock touched Baz's arse. (Again, _not_ on purpose. It was an involuntary reaction.) I almost died from embarrassment, I thought for a moment that my whole body will jump up out of my skin somehow. I apologized of course, especially because of the ”placement” of the bumping. Baz didn’t take offence even in the slightest to that. He even smiled at my stupidity. Baz is a very understanding person. (I never knew that about him.)

Well, it was both terrible embarrassing but also felt amazing because for that one second I got to feel Baz’s arse against my cock. 

Sure we had quite a few layers of fabric between us but it still was incredible. I was already hard before from watching Baz’s arse while we were walking. You can only imagine what happened when my cock got to feel his arse for that split second. (I just hope Baz hasn’t noticed that I was hard.)

_Fucking hell! I want to fuck Baz so bad!_

I’m shaking with the desire to have my cock deep inside his arse.

I’m lucky my truckies are baggy enough to hide everything.

Seeing his arse in the very snug jeans Baz is wearing has been a blessing _and_ a curse. 

_For snakes’ sake why can’t I just walk straight?_

I accidentally walked in a few clothing racks too while following Baz’s _arse_ , I mean, while I was following Baz.

# BAZ

We’ve been to quite a few stores by now to check out the merchandise, however, in truth, I’m just stalling. I want to stay with Simon as much as possible. I’m also hoping that if he spends time with me he decides not to go on a date with whoever it is he met and just comes to the tree instead. (Or better to my room. That’s where I want him.)

_I’ll do anything to make that happen._

Here’s a good example. I’ve been walking a half step in front of him to give Simon the possibility to see me from behind. I’m hoping looking at my arse will remind him of all the good times we’ve been having together and might sway him to come back to the tree. 

Aleister _Crowley_. I seem to be constantly _plotting_ this week.

I also dare to hope that by keeping my arse within his line of sight, Snow will want to _fuck_ me the more he looks at my arse and actually _will_ fuck me eventually. I know I have a nice arse and I know for a fact that Simon Snow seems to enjoy looking at it. 

I want Snow in my room on my bed naked with me, while I’ll be riding him till the wee hours of the night. Is that even possible? I never used ”Candle in the Wind” before, but this might be the right time for it. I could use it on both of us. I know Snow doesn’t like casting spells on himself or anyone else if he can help it.

 _Aleister fucking Crowley._

I could ride Snow all night long, hoisting myself up while holding onto his broad shoulders and sinking back down on his cock and making him gasp _my_ name. I’m quite convinced the only thing that would make that experience better would be sinking my fangs into his neck. (I would _never_ do that to him.)

Snow could have wrapped his strong arms around me and made me feel _alive_. If I made him feel good, really _good_ , would Simon have kissed me then? I've been dreaming about kissing him for years...

Snow could also put me on all fours and fuck me as hard as he only can from behind while holding me in place with his big strong hands. He could probably spank me if he wanted to. (I do want him to). I have been very bad, — _plotting_. If Snow’d have offered this particular disciplinary action earlier, I’d have confessed to plotting ages ago. (However, since it would only work with both of us naked, I wonder if he would have done it still?)

I saw in the mirror that Snow was about to bump into me and managed to pretend that I was picking something up and bend down a bit so that his cock would meet the target, — my arse. (I’m taller than Snow by thee inches, it wouldn’t have worked otherwise.) For one second I could feel his rock hard cock against my arse. Snow could drill diamonds with that thing. (He _should_ drill me.) 

Snow hasn’t suspected a thing, he was too busy being embarrassed and as it turns out _aroused_. 

“ _Fuck_ …” Snow growled and then almost squealed, ”I’m so sorry Baz,” his tawny skin got a hell of a lot more enticing with the shade of scarlet red. I think his hands might be shaking a bit. Was it too much? I don’t actually want Snow to get so embarrassed that he’ll leave.

“No worries, Snow. I walk too slow when browsing the isles.” Now Snow will be appeased and will definitely not suspect that this was a well organised “bumping.”

“No no, it’s me. I’m such a klutz. I can’t see much when walking,” He says and not so subtly glances at my crotch.

Needless to say, I know exactly what Snow can and can not see when he’s walking behind me since I orchestrated it all.

“I won’t hold it against you, Snow,” I try to smile, not sure if I succeeded. 

I could hear Snow tripping over things while walking behind me. I could also see Snow’s reflection in the large mirrors through all the stores. That’s how I could navigate his cock to the target — my arse. But I try not to glance often in them so not to spook him.

I want Snow so much and I hope he remembers that it’s _my_ arse he’s getting turned on by right now and not someone else’s...

Furthermore, I’ve been trying to _touch_ Snow myself. Every time I find something for him to try out and as soon as Snow comes out of the changing stall I have my hands all over him, on the pretence of helping with his clothing, — adjusting if needed. _Yes_ , I was trying to grope Snow discreetly! (He hasn’t noticed even _once_.) 

# SIMON

Baz is being very helpful and friendly. He’s been spending hours going over different garments with me and letting me try different models on, to make sure we found the right one. (Baz wants everything to be just right.) Fashion sure is difficult. Baz has been complimenting me a lot. (At least I hope that’s what he was doing.) I almost let it slip that black and grey are my favourite colours because of him. (I managed not to.)

I try every piece of clothing Baz chooses for me and then come outside to get his opinion. Every time a shirt or trousers aren’t sitting right, Baz adjusts them a bit (even though he doesn’t have to) and then I get to feel his hands on me. I love and cherish every single touch. 

“Does it look okay?” I ask after I tried a long sleeve light grey shirt Baz picked up for me.

“Somethin’s off. Let’s see if it’ll be better when I pull the sleeves down a bit,” Baz says and drags his hands alongst my arms very slowly because he is very meticulous about fashion I guess. 

The more we shop the more absorbed in the shopping experience Baz is getting. He doesn’t even notice when his hand is going a little on my arse or very close to my crotch and I can’t get enough of Baz touching me _there_. (I keep hoping everything will sit wrong so he’ll have to touch me _more_.) 

“What do you think, Baz?” I ask when I get out of the stall in a pair of very snug jeans. Could they sit all wrong? Please?

Baz raises one eyebrow and seems very concentrated on the jeans, “Not bad, but I need to straighten the wrinkles out a bit in order to see better.” 

I had no idea jeans got wrinkled just like shirts do, but I sure am happy about that. Because Baz is tagging and pulling around my arse and crotch and there is no greater feeling than that. (He’s practically sliding his hands over _everything_.)

Several shopping assistants that pass the lounge area by the stalls are glancing at us with some kind of expression I don’t understand. They must be jealous of how knowledgeable and professional Baz is when it comes to fashion. (He knows probably more than they do.)

 _Merlin_ , I’m so lucky. I don’t think Baz notices much except for clothes during shopping. That doesn’t surprise me. Baz always looks so pristine. That probably requires hours and hours of shopping at a time with high concentration. He has no time to see where his hands are going.

Baz has no idea what it does to me to feel him anywhere on my body and I do my best not to draw any attention to it, — he might stop if he notices. 

As luck has it Baz wanted me to try several pairs of jeans. And they all were sitting wrong so he had to adjust them all.

# BAZ

I’m wilding my hands not to shake while I unceremoniously sliding my fingers closer and closer to his crotch and just slightly on his arse. I think Snow might really be interested in fashion after all. He pays attention to everything I say and never comments on anything my hands are doing. (The longer we were at it the lower I would let my hands go. And he still hasn’t noticed.)

The shopping assistants that pass near the stalls keep sending me dirty looks. (I couldn’t care less. Snow isn’t paying them any attention and that’s all I really care about.)

I found him a very nice pair of black summer skinny jeans (yes, I’ve been pushing my colours on him, yes I’ve been trying to claim my stake to him, but Simon looks absolutely gorgeous in black and grey), that he looks heavenly in after I made him try out at least 5 other pairs. (I just needed to see his arse in something tight. And he wasn’t complaining even once so I would say it went rather well.) 

”What do you think, Snow?” I ask as if though his opinion matters in this case. He looks so hot, I’ll make him get the jeans even if he doesn’t like them, or purchase myself and give to him later under one pretence or another. I could say that I bought them by accident when I went shopping myself another day and that I seem to have lost the receipt and they can’t be returned. It’s a reasonable excuse. 

”They are really nice, it’s my favourite colour,” Snow says and when I catch his eyes he blushes as if there’s no tomorrow.

”Your favourite colours are grey _and_ black?” I clarify because one is not even a colour and the other is as depressing as you could get. Snow never struck me as a depressed person. Simon is the epiphany of a literal ray of sunshine. 

”Um- Yes. I like them a lot,” he stammers and flushes. 

”You’re very strange,” I tell Snow truthfully because I’ve been too baffled by him to find something better to say. It’s just doesn’t make any sense.

”No, I'm not,” He says almost _proudly_. Seems those colours are very important to him, Chomsky only knows why and I don’t want to offend Simon in any way.

”Don’t worry, Snow. They suit you,” this is practically an admission of being in love with him but I really don’t want to hurt Simon’s feelings since he seems to like these colours for whatever reason it might be. 

”Thank you, I think so too,” he says and gives me his dashing smile. 

Simon Snow keeps surprising me this summer. I’m glad that I’m learning more about him. Maybe it’ll help us get closer somehow.

# SIMON

I wonder if the touching means anything to Baz at all or maybe he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing because he’s too busy going over all the garments. Baz doesn’t seem opposed to being close to me though. (It’s a very good sign.) 

That was kind of Baz to go to all the trouble and even skip his own shopping for my benefit. Baz is being so _selfless_. (I doubt I’m easy to shop with, I don’t know anything about fashion, I just follow his lead.) 

I really hope this comfortable (well for him, I’m nervous as fuck) interaction between us means he’ll agree to a date with me. Things are going really well. I’m planning on asking him out before we leave.

# BAZ

 _Crowley_. Snow looked hot in every pair of jeans I made him try, even if not all of them were up to my standards. (You can magickally adjust the size but you can’t do that properly with the shape.) Despite what you might think, I do care about getting Simon the _right_ fit, I just want to prolong this whole experience a little longer. 

Watching him in very tight jeans made me imagine quite a few things. Let’s just say, I wanted to do much more than casual almost groping I’ve been performing on him this whole time. 

I couldn’t stop myself from imagining Snow unzipping that flies and springing his beautiful and _enormous_ cock free for me to see and to lick and letting me suck him off somewhere behind a clothing rack. (Could he do that? _Would_ he do that if I ask nicely?)

And then I’d lure him to my bedroom and give him a good tumble in my bed. I’d do _anything_ he wants me to and in any way he wants. I doubt I have any limits where Simon Snow is concerned. (I was wanking earlier while eating the scone he baked.)

I wonder how it would feel if Snow fucked my mouth? I just hope I wouldn’t gag. (Maybe I should try on a dildo first, just so I’ll be more prepared.)

_What would Snow want me to do for him or to him?_

# SIMON

”Shall we take a break and get some sandwiches, Snow? Wouldn’t want you to starve to death,” Baz is so thoughtful.

I forgot all about food myself while following Baz around the stores and looking at his arse and feeling his hands all over me when I try on clothes. 

But I’m glad Baz suggested to get some sandwiches. We get to talk more and I think it would be very good. I might have left a better impression of myself during the coffee break. And now I have another chance to try and win Baz over. I will try very hard not to look disgusting during dinner. 

”Is it dinner time already?” I haven’t been paying attention to time with Baz here but surely it can’t be evening yet.

Baz quirks a brow at me, ”No. But I know you can’t function unless you’re stuffing yourself.” 

I can’t help but imagine stuffing my mouth with Baz’s cock and could for the love of me not utter a single word. 

”Um-” Does he not realize what he just said and what it does to me? Baz has left me speechless with his _suggestive_ language. Was it suggestive or is it just _me_?

”About those sandwiches then?” Baz asks and his brow goes even higher this time.

 _Okay_. Try to speak, Simon! You can do it!

”Ye- Yes... Sounds great,” _Merlin_ , it worked! I should get a medal for being able to speak while Baz is talking about sex. (He might not have really been talking about sex but it seemed very suggestive in my head.)

”Right then. Follow me, Snow,” Baz turns and starts walking toward wherever it is we are going to get our sandwiches from. (I haven’t had a chance to notice much of this shopping centre, not with Baz’s arse almost constantly in front of me.)

If Baz only knew what looking at his arse does to me. I know we are going to get food. But right now all I can think about is getting Baz somewhere secluded and finally _finally_ slide my cock inside his sexy arse. I’d fuck Baz in the loo if he’d let me. Maybe he could cast a cleaning spell and spell the door locked? Is there a spell for lube?

# BAZ

There were two reasons I suggested for us to get some sandwiches. Snow can’t go more than two hours without food. Honestly, I’m shocked he hasn’t asked for food all this time. What could he possibly have on his mind that trumps food? Is he _that_ _much_ into fashion?

Snow is in constant need of putting something in his mouth. (I wish he would put me in his mouth.) I wonder if there is any nourishment in my come? Would Snow like it? Would he even _want_ it? I sure as hell want _his_ come. Even the thought of it makes the inside of my mouth salivate. Snow’s cock and his come. I rather have that than any sandwiches in the world or anything else for that matter. But I digress. 

Snow keeps his eyes locked on my arse. I’d say it’s a good sign. It might mean he is getting used to my arse. And then if I’m lucky because of that he might get used to _me_ in general too and over time what we have might be transformed into something more than acquaintances. That’s the best I can hope for — to be more than just Snow’s acquaintance. 

The second reason is to spend more time with Simon, to drag this out for as long as possible. If I’m not mistaken, there was a lot of successful flirting going on earlier at the cafe. I’m determined to keep the streak going. 

First I will let Snow eat to make sure he’s in an agreeable mood. The road to a man’s heart lies through his stomach after all. I feed him and then try to dazzle him with my flirting skills.

Usually, I doubt myself and second guess every decision I make because I’m extremely insecure when it comes to anything outside of academia, and specifically when it comes to Simon Snow. However, connecting Simon Snow to the topic of food is a sure bet. Snow hardly cares about anything when food isn’t concerned. I know what I’m doing.

Let’s see what other favourite food of his I should ask Snow to recite and rate. Desserts perhaps? He would be _my_ favourite dessert. I’m sure tasting Simon’s lips would be better than tasting ambrosia.

Dessert is a very good topic, that is why I should save the dessert for next time and choose something more simple this time. If there will be a next time. That is obviously not confirmed. Snow might get tired of me after today and will never want to go anywhere with me ever again. (Not that he made this particular decision this time either. I followed Snow here and infiltrated his shopping day.) 

But he does seem to enjoy my company at least a little, or it might be just the food and talking about the food. I should probably stop thinking altogether. (Thinking seems not to be very good for my mental health.)

”What would be your favourite meal, Snow?” I ask and can’t control the smile spreading on my lips. This is going to work out perfectly. (Snow _loves_ food.)

# SIMON

Baz asked me about my favourite food and smiled. Baz seemed to have a lot of fun while I was talking about scones and his smile is _so_ pretty. Baz might start to like me if I keep making him smile like that more often. 

We already talked about different kinds of scones during the coffee break. That was his question, to rate my ten favourite kinds of scones and he seemed delighted about the topic. 

Food must be Baz’s favourite subject after fashion and shopping. (Maybe it’s a fetish I never heard about.) Or maybe Baz just loves food. (Which is strange because he doesn’t eat much back at Watford. I would know, I’ve been watching him _constantly._ ) Could be that he has anorexia. Baz is eating his sandwich very slowly. Is it how anorexia works? Could be. (I don’t dare to ask and make him feel uncomfortable.) 

# BAZ

”Roast beef,” Snow answers and seems very delighted for the question. He’s practically grinning now. (Nailed the subject, haven’t I?)

“I’m not surprised. I’ve seen your stuff your mouth full of roast beef for years.”

Snow almost choked on his sandwich. I didn’t mean it in a sexual way. Snow does stuff his mouth with food all the time. He isn’t doing it now though for some reason. Now that I think about it, Snow eats like a normal person and he even used a tissue. 

That’s strange. This is very un-Snow behaviour. When did he acquire manners? And why is he doing it? Could it be that this is a practice run for that date he is going on later tonight? 

_Don’t go there, Basilton!_ (Ignorance is bliss.)

# SIMON

Does Baz understand what he’s saying? Is this an advanced flirting? I have no idea but I might as well take my chance.

“I can fit a lot in my mouth at once.” Baz’s eyes widen at my words for a split second.

 _Fuck_. Was it too much? Should I not have said it?

# BAZ

Snow didn’t mean it in a sexual manner of course, but for a moment, not even a split second I thought he was offering, I don’t know what exactly, _something_. 

Nevermind. Just wishful thinking on my part.

”What else do you like to eat? Tell me _everything_ ,” I press because if I get him going I might keep him here for half an hour at the very least.

# SIMON

I talked about Yorkshire pudding and tea with too much milk. And fatty sausages. And bacon butties. And butter-scone sandwiches. (I may have mentioned scones again since this was a general food question.) Baz didn’t seem to mind. He even huffed at that. (Baz knows how to huff. He’s _adorable_.) I want to hold his hand right now. Okay, let’s face it, I want to do more than to hold Baz’s hand. I want to kiss his cheek and his lips and his jaw and keep going until I kiss every part of him.

I also want to press my body on top of Baz even with our clothes still on and move in swift movements against his body, my cock again his. Is that what people call ”grinding”? 

Something tells me that particular action would be frown upon at a sandwich restaurant. 

People sure can be judgemental about two blokes spending some quality time together.

Baz does love the subject of food a lot. Who knows if I talk about food a lot maybe Baz will love me as much as he loves food, or at least like me _more_. I'm determined to make the best of it.

Baz smiles at me and he’s looking in my eyes again, “Did you enjoy your sandwich, Snow?” 

“Yes very, but I guess if I had to choose I wouldn’t have gone for a sandwich,” I say because it’s not a sandwich I’ve had on my mind all day. 

”What would you have rather eaten then?” Baz asks and it’s an innocent question, but my mind _isn’t,_ that’s for sure.

”There are a lot of things I’d like to put in my mouth right now.” 

_Why the hell did I say that?_

Baz is looking right in my eyes and he isn’t saying anything. Have I made him uncomfortable?

# BAZ

 _Aleister fucking Crowley._ Could I have misheard? I don’t dare to ask. I’m trying very hard to read any answers from Simon’s eyes. 

What I wouldn’t have done for him to mean it… I’d beg Snow on my bare knees to take _me_ in his mouth if I had to, if there was any chance he’ll actually do it. (I hardly dare to fantasize about it, because that’s too farfetched and unrealistic fantasy.)

I don’t want Snow to realize what I’m thinking. (It doesn’t matter because I didn’t hear him correctly, that’s it.) In order to avoid giving myself away, I asked Snow another food related question.

# SIMON

Seems Baz hasn’t noticed what I said when I practically suggested sucking his cock right here right now. Might be for the best. (I don’t want to make Baz uncomfortable with my forwardness.)

I’ve been stuttering less and less around him. The more I’m exposed to Baz in this close proximity, and us talking, the better I get at acting like a normal person around him, I think.

We talked about food for a good hour before continuing with shopping. (I wonder if this conversation will make Baz like me more?)

I was trying out yet another grey shirt but lighter this time and a pair of tight black jeans when it finally hit me. Baz suggested clothing in these colours before he even knew they were my favourite.

What if this is his way to dress me in his own colours? Does it mean he fancies me? Should I tell him _already_ that I fancy him a lot and desperately want him to be my boyfriend? Or could I be mistaken and scare him off?

I now know why I felt possessive when he was wearing a blue button up? And then I start to wonder why he has so much blue in his bedroom. It can’t be connected unless it was a choice on a _subconscious_ level. 

Penny says we do sometimes things we really want to do, but we don’t understand it ourselves. I think it’s like me wanting to touch Baz all the time for seven years and thinking I wanted to punch him. Is Baz’s subconscious the reason he has so much blue in his room? 

Does this mean Baz likes me even if he might not know it himself? I should flirt more with him, maybe it’ll nudge him in the right direction. It might take time for Baz to fall for me but Rome wasn’t built in one day. (That’s what Penny likes to say.) 

How did we manage to flirt at the bakery and at the cafe and later during sandwiches? It went so well despite me being me.

Needless to say, I got too overwhelmed and ended up stuck in that last pair of jeans I tried on. (My hands were shaking too much to do anything.)

# BAZ

This is taking too long, what could possibly be the problem?

“Everything alright, Snow?”

“I’m _fine_.” He doesn’t sound fine.

”May I come in?” I’m not going to just barge in. (I follow etiquette even though I’ve tried to grope Snow a bit just a moment ago.) 

”Yeah...okay…” Not much for encouragement but I’ll take it.

I enter the stall. It’s quite narrow but there is space for both of us and more distance between us than I hoped for.

Snow seems to be stuck in his jeans. (That shouldn’t surprise me at all.) I offer to help of course, because I am quite the humanitarian. (Because I want him _naked_ is more like it.)

Snow is finally out of those jeans and back in his trackies. (He didn’t stay just in his pants, _what a shame._ ) He seems nervous. I am extremely nervous. 

He keeps glancing at me and my lips. And I need to channel my inner Snow bravery. Snow himself doesn’t seem very brave or maybe he just doesn’t know what he wants exactly. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. (Analyzing something isn’t his strongest suit.)

I step closer to him. (One step was the tedious distance between us.) Snow keeps looking at me, a lovely blush spreading on his cheeks. He doesn’t say anything but he isn’t running away. (That’s something.) 

I dare to press my palm to his jaw, Snow doesn’t flinch or pulls away. He just swallows. I can see as his Adam’s apple catches. And he is still looking at my lips and my eyes. I want him and I need him and this might be just the right moment. (I think. I’m terrible with social cues.)

I lean in, he’s still not pulling away. I did corner him against the wall of a narrow changing room stall but surely Snow could manage if he really wanted to. He’s never been above showing me or punching me for that matter. 

Because I’m a vampire I can hear Snow’s heart rate skyrocketing but that can mean anything. But he’s still here, still looking at my lips but not doing anything. 

I lean in a bit more. We’re so close now I can feel his breath on my lips. If I try to make even the slightest movement towards him, we’d be kissing or at least our lips will be touching. (There are no guarantees that kissing indeed will be involved when my lips touch his.)

This feels as the most fleeting moment of my life. If I don’t do this now, I will forever regret it. And Simon is blushing. Shouldn’t that mean that he wants this too? Unless he’s just uncomfortable due to my close proximity. Fuck all those idiotic social ques I can’t completely comprehend. People should just say to you what they want. Why isn’t he saying anything?

_Suck it up and fucking do it, Basilton!_

What’s the worst that can happen? (I rather not think about that.)

We have been flirting this whole time. I haven’t imagined that have I? And he’s been wanking every day while watching me. Have I imagined it all? No... Even I'm not that talented with self induced hallucinations.

I move the slightest and our lips meet. Snow’s lips are warm against mine and he isn’t freezing up or pulling away. Instead, he moves his whole body towards me and parts his lips, eagerly kissing me back. 

Is it a good kiss for _Simon_? I don't know but it sure as hell the best one _I will ever have_. His lips set fireworks in my body and my undead heart. 

Snow’s mouth is hot. His whole body feels hot against mine. Simon makes me feel _alive_ and I don’t even want to bite him. I do want to bite him of course, but it’s not very dominant and I fed this morning before venturing out to the bakery. 

I would never hurt him. Maybe I should have told Simon that, so he’d not worry about me biting him. He doesn’t seem worried. (Perhaps he just trust me not too or has his sword on hand already.)

Snow isn’t an amateur like me. He has clearly done this before. He’s doing this nice thing with his chin. Moving it up and down. Tilting his head. It makes me melt completely into him.

Simon is sucking on my lip and I shiver from pleasure. (An involuntary gasp escapes my mouth.)

My hand is still on his jaw and I’m not quite sure what to do with my other hand. Simon, on the other hand, pushes his hand through my hair and puts his other hand on my waist. 

I wind my fingers in his hair too. I can’t get close enough to him. And for a moment all I feel is happiness spreading through my body.

 _Aleister fucking Crowley_... 

I’m kissing Simon Snow and he isn’t pulling away. (In fact, he is pulling me closer to him.)

Happiness _and_ warmth is what I feel right this moment. I feel Simon against me and he is so hot and so good and I cling to him with both my whole body and my heart. I want to stay here in this moment with Simon for the rest of my existence. I want to pretend that he’s mine, that he wants me. 

We are pressed together and I can feel his hard cock against my thigh. It jolts like lightning through me. I know that I don’t get to keep this, to keep _him_. (Might as well get the most of it while I still can.) 

I let go of his jaw and ghost my fingertips over Snow’s chest until they locate the waistband of his trackies. (They are very _stretchable_ , perfect!)

Does he want this? I’m about to pull back and ask to clarify when I hear Snow’s breath hitch. Then he clenches a fist in my hair and pulls me in closer by my waist and kisses me _harder_. I’ve got my answer then. But I still murmur ” _Simon_? May I?” against his lips just to be completely sure.

” _Yes…_ ” he breathes out and pulls me even closer. (Didn’t think that was possible.) Snow’s hand is practically on my arse, but not quite.

 _Why is it not completely on my arse?_ Snow must not want it there. (I wish he did.)

I got my hand inside his truckies but had to fumble around with his pants. I even had to break our kiss to see what I was doing. (I might be extremely nervous if I need to ”fumble” with anything this simple.) I _am_ nervous but also excited. This is it. I finally get to have Simon, at least for a little while.

_Aleister fucking Crowley._

I almost choke on my own saliva when I see his _whole_ cock out and up close.

 _You magnificent beast!_ I want to say to him. I don’t because I don’t want to sound needy. I am, needy for Snow and his enormous cock that is. (But Snow doesn’t have to know that.)

I do moan in his mouth when my lips are back on his, but only because Simon is already moaning in mine and I can’t stop myself.

  
  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

# SIMON

I was so embarrassed when I got stuck in those jeans. (I’ve been trying to make a good impression, this can’t be good at all.) Baz asked if he could come inside the stall. (Of course, he can. Baz can do anything he wants around me or _with_ me.) But it made me even more nervous. He’ll see how embarrassed I am and he isn’t going to want me.

And then he was there and offered to help with the jeans. And I got even more embarrassed and pulled on my trackies as soon as I could despite it being literally the last thing I wanted. (I was much closer to being _naked_ with Baz than I ever was. I wanted fewer clothes, not more. I also wanted _Baz_ naked.)

We end up standing in this very narrow stall silent, looking at each other. I’m trying not to look at Baz’s lips too much but he isn’t making it easy for me. 

_Baz is right there with his lips._

How can I not look at them? At least I’m not looking at his crotch. I count that as a very big win. Thank fucking magic I can’t see his arse right now! (I’m standing in front of one mirror and the other one is turned away from Baz.)

But I’m also looking into his eyes while we are so close (it seems rude not to when standing so near each other.)

Baz’s eyes have never been a safe place for me to look in. (Even though I’ve been practising during the break at the cafe and the sandwich restaurant a lot.) My head is spinning. And I don’t want to misread anything here. We haven’t even been on a date. 

I don’t think I’m good with reading signs. I thought Baz wanted to kill me, which he apparently doesn’t and we were flirting all day. I know what I want, I want him, Baz that is. (I want to do everything to Baz and I want him to do anything he wants to me.)

 _I’m in love with him._

I think I’ve been for a very long time.

Baz takes a step closer and I can feel his breath on my face. He tilts his head down and looks at me and I only manage to look at his lips and his eyes and _not_ his crotch. I feel myself falling in a trance and I’m blushing. A lot has happened today that hasn’t gone according to plan. 

Usually, I just go with whatever happens and don’t ever think beforehand. But I wanted this to be perfect for Baz and I feel as if things haven’t been, not really, not with my stuttering and saying all the wrong things and blushing and getting stuck in a pair of jeans. (I’m not making a very good impression at all.) 

Baz puts his hand on my jaw and I can’t look away from him. I want to kiss him but I’m nervous because I’m not sure if that is where _he_ is going or if it’s something else entirely. 

Maybe I have something on my face and Baz is planning to wipe it off with his hand. (Wouldn’t he use a handkerchief for that instead?)

Luckily Baz has much better confidence than me. (That’s nothing new.) He leans in and before I can decide if a kiss is what Baz really wants, _he_ kisses _me_. 

I kiss him back as soon as I feel his lips against mine and suck on his lip. (This is what I wanted, to make his lips pink with my mouth, not only his lips but one step at a time.) 

I wind my hand in his hair and hold him on his waist. (I am deliberately not going for his arse, and believe me, it’s practically impossible to control myself.) I want to be even closer but I don’t want to overstep. But then Baz goes for my hair and I pull him to me. 

Kissing Baz feels like nothing ever felt before, it’s _incredible_. (I had no idea that’s how snogging could feel.) His lips are colder than mine yet somehow everything feels hotter. (I’m hard as a rock from being this close to Baz, from feeling his body against mine. _I want him so much._ )

Baz drops his hand from my jaw and I can feel his fingers on my chest going down. He reaches my waistband and I lose it completely. I’m jamming my face into his and pulling him somehow even closer to me. 

” _Simon_? May I?” I hear Baz saying my name and asking me against my lips. Is he kidding me? It’s all I could think about lately, mostly it was about what _I_ could do to _him_ , but this is just as good.

Of course, I want it. It’s _Baz_. _Who wouldn’t?_ I tell him that much. Well, I murmur a ” _Yes_ ” against his lips. 

But all the feelings behind that _yes_ were implied. I’m sure he understood. I’m sure he knows that I fancy him. That he is the only person I ever wanted to do this with. In all the excitement I almost try and squeeze Baz’s arse. ( _I stop myself just in time_.) I can’t do that without asking first. And it would have been rude to do so when Baz is busy with my pants.

To be honest, I wanted to do something to _his_ cock, but I’m not going to complain about this either, — Baz’s hand on my cock that is. 

I’ve been constantly fantasising about Baz’s fingers since the day I saw him lick his come from one of his fingers. (That was so _hot_ and the thought of Baz’s fingers and his come is turning me on even more.) 

Baz finally has my cock in his hand. (My pants must differ from his own because Baz had to break our kiss to figure them out.) It feels _amazing_ to feel him on my aching cock. His hand is cold but it warms me up nonetheless...

_Jesus fucking Christ._

Even the thought of Baz’s hand anywhere near me is making my head spin but having _his hand on my cock_ while we are snogging pressed close to each other, well that I just… It’s _everything_ I could ever want...But also I feel as though I might come within the next 30 seconds. (I was right, not much for sex stamina where Baz is concerned.)

_Fuck!_

Quick, I need to think about the least sexy subject I can come up with.

Agatha! _Yes_! Worked like a charm!

Wait, _no_! That would be disrespectful to Baz for me to be thinking about my ex-girlfriend while he has his hand on my cock.

Swords! Nope, that just makes it even hotter somehow. I had no idea I saw swords as something sexual. I might have a thing for a sword. It may remind me of a cock now that I think about it. 

And then an image of a naked Baz holding a _sword_ comes to mind… That’s even worse, well better really but also worse in _this_ particular situation...

Scones! _Yes_ ! Scones are very unsexy. Unless Baz starts to eat one and I get to see him _swallow…_

_Christ..._

Butter! _Oh, no_ …. Baz licking on butter… His tongue tracing the butter nice and slow...

_Fucking hell!_

_Penny_ ! Yes! That works. (I’m really sorry, Pen! But this is for the _greater_ good.) Penny reading from a boring book to me. 

_Yes!_ Merlin… I’m finally relaxing a bit. I might actually get through this without embarrassing myself too much. I don’t want Baz to think less of me if I come too fast. I’m very inexperienced. The only person who ever touched my cock is me and well… Well, Baz isn’t me…

Baz is the most beautiful and sexiest person on the planet. I have to force myself not to start fucking his fist because it feels _so good._ (And I have to constantly keep reminding myself not to try and squeeze his arse.)

Everything Baz is doing to my cock right now feels so fucking good. He’s doing that wrist thing too, the one that got me going the second day I saw him. 

That feels much better when Baz is doing it then when I tried myself. But that is probably because Baz is doing it. ( _Everything feels better with him._ ) Even my magic feels satisfied somehow. I don’t feel as if I’m even close to going off, with my magic that is. Since I started visiting the tree outside of Baz’s window and watching Baz wank just a mere few feet from me, my magic is gone quite. I’m not angry anymore either like I’ve been all these years, especially when I was in any proximity of Baz or just thinking about him. (When? I was _always_ thinking about him which meant I was always angry and ready to go off with my magic.) Does my magic need sex with Baz (or as close to it as I can come), in order to relax?

_Is my magic of sexual variety?_

Could also be just that the confusion and frustration are finally gone from my body since I sorted my feelings for Baz and therefore my magic could finally settle down. (That might be a more _reasonable_ explanation. But I’m not ruling out it being magic of sexual variety just yet.)

It feels like nothing ever felt before. But then I wonder if it would feel even better if Baz would bite me on my neck while getting me off. (Shouldn’t that _double_ the pleasure, Baz’s hand on my cock and his fangs _inside_ of me, sucking my blood?) 

I have been thinking a lot lately about how that would feel, — the biting. I want to try it and I want to bring it up with Baz. But I’m not sure how to without being insensitive. Baz is hiding the fact that he is a vampire from everyone. He doesn’t have to hide from me. I like everything about him, being a vampire not excluded. In fact, I find it extremely _hot_. (But I suspect it’s due to Baz. I find everything about him hot.) How should I bring this subject up with him exactly?

I really have to force myself not to go for Baz’s cock. I want to, I want a lot, but this is already much more than I expected and I don’t know if he wants me to and it feels rude to ask any questions while Baz is getting me off. But _Merlin_ , it’s terribly hard _not_ to. (This situation is very trying for my self control.)

If this goes well, maybe Baz will let me do this to him when he’s done. This or me on my knees in front of Baz, tasting him, sucking him, licking up his come from and around his cock and licking his arse.

_I need to lick Baz’s arse._

Could I do it here inside the stall? Is it double _logistically_? Will it be comfortable for him? Maybe Baz could spell the stall and the floor squishy? He must have more than enough magic for that. (I wouldn’t risk casting any spells myself, my magic would just overdo it and the whole store will end up squishy.)

Baz’s moans against my lips are intoxicating. I want him to enjoy himself too. I wish I could touch him.

_I want him so much..._

Oh fuck, this isn't helping at all… I might come right this moment listening to Baz moan.

 _Penny is reading to me from a boring book!_

_Great_ , I’m back on track of not embarrassing myself more today. I won’t come too fast now and Baz won’t get disappointed with my sex stamina. (He might not want me if he thinks I come too fast.)

I’ll really need him to cast ”Candle in the Wind” on me if we ever do anything again. I can’t keep thinking about Penny to cool myself down. I prefer to only think about Baz during an intimate moment with him. Also, it feels a bit disrespectful to Penny.

# BAZ

I feel Simon's cock pulsing in my hand. I could feel the blood and the precome since I've started. Simon and everything about him made me rockhard. It's making me giddy with pleasure even though I'm the one touching him. (Snow doesn't want to touch me.)

I managed to force myself not to come just from touching Simon by the sheer power of will.

Simon explodes in my hand with a loud grunt and almost bites my lip, his body shaking. I wish he did bite my lip that is. I wish I could have just a little bit more, that he'll do more to me, whatever he wanted just _more_. Maybe I'm just being selfish and greedy. This is more I could ever have dreamt about having.

The smell of Snow’s come this close is even more intoxicating. I want to lick his cock clean. (I don’t because I don’t want to scare him off with my over enthusiasm.) 

Snow took his time coming. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t mind the need to have my hand on his cock for so long. (I welcome it obviously. I’d keep my hand on his cock forever if I could.) It just his sudden endurance seems strange since he came twice yesterday, extremely fast. (The first time without even touching himself, just from watching _me_.) (The second time we both came very fast, _together._ )

Did he not want me that much? Was watching me better than having my hand on his cock? He hasn’t tried to go after my cock. Not that I expected him to.

Surely if he even touched me the slightest on _my_ cock, I would have exploded too fast the first time. But then Snow isn’t even gay so why was I expecting a different reaction? Maybe he didn’t even enjoy himself. He was moaning so he must have enjoyed himself a little atthe very least. 

Not that it really matters. (Snow will never let me touch him again, and he is never going to touch me.)

I ask if I should help him clean up and cast ”Clean as a whistle” on his cock and my hand. I leave as soon as I’m done.

“I have to go, Snow.”

“But…” I don’t let him finish and was out from the stall before Snow could say anything more. I try not to look like I’m stomping away from him—I wait till I leave the stall, then stomp across the store.

I can’t handle hearing him asking. “This is what straight blokes do, right, Baz?”

And what should I answer to that? ”Yes, Snow. This is _completely_ heterosexual behaviour. Let's do it again.”

I wouldn’t have been able to utter the aforementioned statement with a straight face. ( _Ha_.)

And even if Snow _is_ gay he’s probably too bloody dense to ever figure it out.

Everything just feels too much. I can almost feel how my undead heart is breaking with every step I take. I'm starting to believe that almost everything that happened today was a figment of my overeager imagination. Snow wasn’t flirting with me today. I was just convenient for him.

# SIMON

Baz offered to help clean up with magic. And I was right, Baz’s magic felt wonderful on me. It felt like fire, but it wasn’t burning me. Instead, it was doing something very pleasant to my whole body, not only where his magic touched me. Is Baz’s magic also of sexual variety by any chance? (Maybe I should stop thinking about that.)

I wasn’t expecting him to lick my come off his fingers before we even had our first date. But for a moment I was thinking Baz might put his fingers against my lips so I could lick them, — I would have. (He didn’t.) 

I also haven’t expected him getting me off right here in the shopping centre. (I had imagined myself doing a lot of things to Baz.) I was planning on asking if I could after, but I didn’t get the possibility to do anything because he left too quickly.

“I have to go, Snow,” Baz said and didn’t even look at me.

“But…” I wanted to ask Baz to stay, but he was too fast to hear me out. I didn't go after him, because Baz didn’t want to hear anything I had to say, did he? 

I sat down in the stall and started freaking out. This wasn't good. Baz didn't want me. My brain was working on overdrive.

At first, I thought that maybe I did something wrong. Did I kiss him too much? Has Baz figured out while we were snogging that I’m hopelessly in love with him and it all got too much for him? Did I come too fast despite all the work I put into my endurance? Or was Baz simply regretting what happened between us? 

I haven't even noticed that I was crying in a store, in a fucking stall. Every scenario was running through my mind and I was feeling very confused again. I thought things were going great. I thought Baz might start to like me. 

But after a while, when my brain calmed down a bit, different reasoning started to come to mind. What if it’s the opposite? Now that I think about it, Baz seemed embarrassed and also was acting strange. If I didn’t know any better I would have said that he was nervous. 

Could it be true and in that case why would he be nervous? Baz is perfect and beautiful and amazing and he has the cutest smile in the world. I heard him laugh today while we were at the cafe and later at the sandwich restaurant. The beauty of his laughter can sure put even angels to shame. Everyone wants Baz to be their boyfriend. Does he really think I’m not included in that list? Does Baz not think that I want this, that I want _him_? 

Of course, I want him, I want him to be my boyfriend. Should I have said anything earlier? I thought I made myself pretty clear with the way I was kissing Baz. (I never kissed like that before.) I assumed he understood. 

I also never would have imagined Baz not being overconfident about something. It’s always been me unsure of myself. I’m used to that. 

This whole day I spent not knowing if Baz was interested in me or not. I was planning to try and win him over and hopefully succeed if I was lucky enough. (It seemed as though I’ve been extremely lucky with everything lately, so there was hope.)

But after today, I'm pretty sure Baz fancies me at least a little. We were flirting. And not only because he had his hand on my cock (which is also an indicator for that obviously), but Baz called me by my first name. 

He called me _Simon_. Baz has never done that before. I think the more casual atmosphere of it being summer and also on his own territory (Hampshire) made it all better for us.

There is another thing that keeps bothering me. Well not bothering precisely, more like I wonder if it could be true. I think it’s possible that I’m the first person Baz ever kissed. I don’t know for sure but I suspect it might be so. Don’t get me wrong, kissing Baz was everything I’ve dreamt about and then some. It felt good, so _good_. I’ll gladly spend the rest of my life kissing his lips but he might not be as experienced as I initially thought he’d be.

I myself have a lot of experience with kissing Agatha for three years. When you’re in desperate need to avoid talking to your girlfriend, because she gets annoyed with the constant mentioning of your roommate slash nemesis, — kissing is the way to go. 

And while snogging your girlfriend, you have all the time in the world to successfully recite in your own head everything you hate about said roommates perfect hair without it being weird. (I really _should_ have figured out my feelings earlier, both about being gay and wanting Baz.)

I wonder what it means if I’m indeed the first person Baz ever kissed. And that would also mean that Baz isn’t experienced on other fronts either. (I just assumed Baz was because — look at him, and also Baz seems so confident.) 

Not that it matters in any bad way, I wouldn’t have thought less of Baz if he were _very_ experienced with a lot of people. 

Would I have tracked down every single one of those people and threatened them (preferably with the sword of Mages) so they won't try and steal Baz away from me? You don’t even have to ask. I have a bit of a temper and I can be intimidating if need be. It’s not that I’m big—I’m just bold. And when people look at me, they tend to see everything I’ve killed before.

Because that is where my concern would have lied, that Baz chooses someone else over me.

What I’m trying to say is that I wonder what it all means… 

Could it be that Baz really fancies me? Because why would I be his first kiss otherwise… Baz can literally have anyone he wants because everyone is in love with him, but he chose me for some reason. 

It’s not as if I was very convenient. Baz had his hands full with me today because I don’t even know how to shop and I stammered through half of the conversations we had. (Mostly at the bakery though since I got better over time.) 

That right there is a valid reason for Baz to agree to be my boyfriend. I’m not great _now_ but I get better over time if I put my mind to it. And I do, this is the most important thing for me, I won’t ever stop working on becoming good enough for Baz. 

_Shouldn’t that count for something?_ My willingness to improve.

I never wanted anyone before the way I want Baz. I want him with so much ferocity that I can hardly explain it. It’s like pull from the Crucible but stronger because it’s on the inside too, — my body, my mind and my heart want Baz equally much. 

Everything about me wants everything about him. (I wasn’t planning on telling him _that._ I don’t want to come on too strong.) I did want to tell Baz that I fancy him. And I wanted to ask him on a date. I didn’t get the chance to do either.

I leave the changing stall, pay for my clothes and leave. I still need to order some flowers. (There’s a florist not that far from the bakery.) I don’t know why Baz’s favourite colour is blue or why exactly he’s been dressing me in grey shirts all day and quite a few black trousers and jeans but I will ask for blue grey bouquet if possible.

Should I text Baz? He hasn’t given me his number himself but I got it alongside with his address from Miss Possibelf. (It wasn’t illegal. We are allowed that information about our classmates.) It’s just that they usually give you the whole list with everybody’s info. I only asked for Baz’s. I remember Miss Possibelf giving me an odd look.

I wonder if Miss Possibelf knows I’m gay too and hasn’t said anything. 

_Who else knows?_ And why has nobody said anything to me? Could have saved me years of suffering...

After the visit to the hairdresser and the florist, I finally get back to my room. I text Baz then and I type everything out very carefully. (I can be proper when I have a reason to and put my mind to it.)

 **Me** **(19:06):** Hey Baz. 😀 It’s Simon.

 **Me** **(19:07):** Simon Snow.

 **Me** **(19:07):** Your roommate.

 **Me** **(19:08):** Your roommate at Watford.

  
 _Bloody hell_. I should just stop texting. Baz probably got by now _who_ is texting him. He isn’t answering. Maybe Baz is busy or he now thinks I’m an idiot who sends stupid messages.

As time goes by, I start to get more and more nervous and almost jump at the sound of a new message. It’s _Baz_!

 **Baz** **(19:21):** Snow.

 **Me** **(19:21):** Hey. You called me Simon before.😀

 **Baz** **(19:23):** Good evening. No, I didn’t.

He did, but I’m not going to argue with Baz about it. I want him to like me.

 **Me (** **19:24):** How are you?😀

Baz is silent again. I guess I was hoping for more of a conversation. I start to wonder if I should have said something else? But then before I manage to worry myself in an early grave, I finally get a reply.

 **Baz** **(19:43):** Couldn’t be better, thank you for asking. How about you, Snow?

 **Me** **(19:43):** I’m good, thank you.

 **Me** **(19:43):** And for all the help earlier today. Thank you. I appreciate it a lot.

Baz seems not to like using emojis himself so I don’t send more either in case it’s making him uncomfortable somehow. (Do emoji make people uncomfortable?)

I meant to say thank you for the clothing but maybe Baz will think I meant the handjob. Which obviously I’m very thankful for as well but I should make it more clear what I mean. Otherwise, Baz might think I’m only interested in getting off. (I am interested in Baz more than in getting off. Well it’s connected really.)

 **Me** **(19:44):** For the clothes is what I mean.

Baz isn’t answering. I must have messed this up somehow already. (It was easier during the day when we were flirting. Despite my lack of attention span.)

 **Baz** **(19:56):** Glad I could help. Of course, I wouldn’t have presumed anything else.

Why would he phrase it like _that_? Does Baz think I regret what happened between us? 

# BAZ

I didn’t expect Snow to show up. We spent all afternoon shopping. I also got him off in the changing room stall. And I also knew he was going on a date with someone later tonight. (Well, not _knew_ as in Snow told me so himself or I had any concrete proof of that, but I suspected at least.) 

Snow wasn’t going to be stopping by the tree tonight. That is why I even went as far as to wank in the shower instead, imagining his lips and hands on me. (I didn’t cry while in the shower.) I left the door open slightly so I could still feel Snow’s magic in case he would show up even though I would have been able to smell him through the door. (But I wanted to be extra sure because I’m _pathetic_.) 

_Snow hasn’t shown up at all._ I spent the whole evening with my violin, crying my eyes out in the library with all the windows closed and the curtains were drawn down. The library windows look out on the gardens where Snow used to be when he still wanted me when he still had any interest or maybe curiosity towards me.

He tried it once and was now regretting it all. I knew that of course. I never had a chance with Simon. He’s too good for someone like me. That is why the last thing I expected was to get a message from Snow on my mobile. I knew it was him because I got his number from Miss Possibelf alongside with the rest of our classmates so as not to draw any suspicion. However, I threw away the list as soon as I have written down Snow’s number and I think Miss Possibelf have noticed. (That woman sees everything, she isn’t strictly human.)

 **Snow** **(19:06):** Hey Baz. 😀 It’s Simon.

 **Snow** **(19:07):** Simon Snow.

 **Snow** **(19:07):** Your roommate.

 **Snow** **(19:08):** Your roommate at Watford.

Aleister _Crowley_. Snow just texted me, _four_ times. Does Snow really think I might not know who he is? We just spend the day together. (More than a few hours at the very least.)

During that time I also got him off. That if anything should make me remember him. Or does Snow think I walk around shopping centres and get random blokes off for leisure? Does this mean that he thinks I’m _easy_? 

Simon is my first _everything._ I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone but him. I’ve never wanted anyone but him.

I thought he’d be on a date now. What reason does he have to text me exactly? What should I answer without giving too much away? I’m trying to keep my emotions in check and failing miserably already. 

I spent some time contemplating my options for an appropriate answer until I realize that if I don’t answer in a timely manner, Snow might never write to me again.

 **Me** **(19:21):** Snow.

 **Snow** **(19:21):** Hey. You called me Simon before.😀

He remembered. Was Snow paying attention to me in the stall?

Snow seems to like that particular smiley face. Should I use one as well? (Which one? I don’t want to come on too strong.)

I decided not to use any just to be safe. What if I use the one that will reveal my true feelings for him? What emoji might that be? 

A few come to mind😍👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨❤️💋💘❤️🛌😘🍆💜🍆🎆☀️💒💍👨‍👨‍👧💙💖💞👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 in exactly this _particular_ order.

I think it’s fair to assume that I will slip up and use one or all of them by accident. (It might be better not to try my luck.)

 **Me** **(19:23):** Good evening. No, I didn’t.

 **Snow (** **19:24):** How are you?😀

That’s a loaded question right there. _How am I?_ I got to kiss Simon Snow today, feel him pressed against me, the warmth of his body warming me up both physically and metaphorically. _I love Simon so much._

My undead heart has never felt this _alive_ . I also got Snow off and got to see up close his majestic cock. I also got to hold it in _my_ hand. I couldn’t be better. 

Except I know this was a one-time thing. And now I will spend the rest of my life missing Simon, his lips against mine and his magnificent cock.

Snow is not writing back and it’s been nineteen minutes. (I’ve been checking my mobile meticulously on the minute.)

 _Crowley._ I forgot to press send.

 **Me** **(19:43):** Couldn’t be better, thank you for asking. How about you, Snow?

Snow answers right away on all my messages. (He must be extremely bored.)

 **Snow** **(19:43):** I’m good, thank you.

 **Snow** **(19:43):** And for all the help earlier today. Thank you. I appreciate it a lot.

Is Snow thanking me for the handjob? Not that he has to but maybe it’s a way for him to bring the subject up. He isn’t sending any emojis anymore. (Does it mean Snow isn’t smiling anymore? _Was_ he smiling before?)

 **Snow** **(19:44)** For the clothes is what I mean.

 _Oh_ . Of course not. Why would I ever think that Snow wants to talk about the fact that _I_ had my hand down _his_ truckies?

 **Me** **(19:56):** My pleasure. Of course, I wouldn’t have presumed anything else.

There. Now he knows that I wasn’t thinking about the subject of my hand on his cock _either_.

 **Snow** **(19:57):** It was nice seeing you today, Baz. 

**Snow** **(19:57):** Really nice.

It was? It was for me, of course, to see Snow. But was it nice for him to see me too? I did think we spend the whole day flirting since the moment I came by the bakery. (Despite some questionable word choices on my part in the beginning.)

 **Snow** **(19:58):** I wouldn’t mind seeing you again very soon.

What does this mean? 

_Oh…_ Is this about what happened at the stall?

Snow must have enjoyed me getting him off after all and wants to do it again. At least it’s _something_. It’s definitely better than nothing. Snow doesn’t like me but maybe this would be enough. 

Perhaps he wants to check if he might be gay by any chance. And then go back to Wellbelove if he isn’t or get himself a _boyfriend_. And well I’m fairly convinced he’s going on a date with someone, obviously not today, but maybe tomorrow. Snow’s choices must be limitless. He’s _never_ going to choose me. (Of that I’m sure.) 

I’ll take whatever I can get even though I suspect this will break my heart in an entirely different and more painful way. It would be wiser to say no and cut my losses while I still can. Snow didn’t even have the decency to suggest a cup of coffee like we had today to keep up the pretence of it being something more than just _sex_. 

I suspect I was the only one stupid enough to think Snow and I were flirting today. (It was foolish of me to believe that things were going in the right direction, that he might like _me_ at least a little.)

Snow isn’t interested in me. He just wants to get off with me because he thinks I’m _easy_.

But it’s Simon Snow and to get to be in any proximity of him is a precious gift. I guess I _am_ easy when it comes to him. I also know that I might never get another chance to be close to Simon like this, to kiss him, to touch him... I’m too far gone for him to be able to decline the meaningless casual sex Snow is proposing. It won’t be meaningless to me… 

Being with him means everything to me because Simon means _everything_ to me.

 **Me** **(21:07):** Me neither.

I press send. Now Snow knows he can get whatever he wants from me. I should feel disgusted with myself and I am but I’m also moronically ecstatic about being allowed to be close to him. And the latter trumps everything else. 

_I’ll get to kiss and touch Simon again._

Maybe if I’m very lucky he will get swept with the moment and might not be appalled to the idea of touching _me_.

# SIMON

I should text Baz something, something that will make him realize I fancy him a lot. (In case he missed it somehow with all flirting and all desire I’ve been unabashedly projecting on to _him_.)

 **Me** **(19:57):** It was nice seeing you today, Baz. 

**Me** **(19:57):** Really nice.

 **Me** **(19:58):** I wouldn’t mind seeing you again very soon.

 _That was perfect._

Now Baz knows I fancy him _a_ _lot_ and want to go on a date with him very _soon_. I just hope I hadn't given myself away too much so Baz doesn’t already suspect I’m in love with him. That would be too soon, that’ll scare him off.

I need time to show Baz some of my good sides so there’ll be a chance for him to fall in love with me over time. I genuinely hope he will eventually if I try to do _everything_ right. Can I do everything right? (I never could with Agatha. But I probably didn’t try hard enough.) Is that possible for someone like me? I hope that this time I can for once pull myself together. Baz is too important for anything less.

I can’t help but wonder if Baz might let me touch him next time. (If there will be a next time, that is.) I can’t stop thinking about that. My hands on Baz’s cock and also my lips and my tongue... 

This uncontrollable _need_ to get my hands on Baz is so overwhelming I can hardly function. But I think I did good today, considering my state of mind is too preoccupied with Baz’s perfect arse and eyes, hair and lips and everything that is _Baz.  
_

Then I start to wonder if Baz may have wanted me to touch him but just didn’t bring it up because he was just as nervous as I was? Is that even possible?  
  


All those thoughts start to dissapear as time goes by without a reply from Baz.

He isn’t answering and it’s been almost an hour. I start to worry that I just misunderstood everything that happened between us today and Baz might not be interested after all. 

And when I almost gave up all hope, he texts me back.

 **Baz** **(21:07):** Me neither.

Baz agreed to go on a date with me. (He probably didn’t see the message right away or was busy.)

I wonder what time I should come over tomorrow to ask Baz out? (I decided it’s better to do in person since I already told him I want to go on a date with him through the text.)

The mini-golf course opens at half past ten. (I’ve seen that’s where people go on dates. I have a backup plan of going to the movies if Baz hates my first idea.)

I don’t think I can wait too long before going over to Baz’s house. I’d do it now if it weren’t last minute and also too late. (They closed at five already.)

That means that I have to wait until morning. I can’t settle down, I’m too excited. I hope Baz agrees to go out tomorrow. I think he will, he did call me _Simon_ earlier and he already agreed to a general date over the text.

I do need to try and calm down and get some sleep. (I don’t even know how I will be able to get any sleep tonight.)

Perhaps repeatedly wanking to the memory of Baz’s lips on mine, our bodies pressed together and his hand on my cock will tire me out.

Boy oh boy, does it work or maybe it’s just something I really want to do, constantly, _wanking while thinking about Baz._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After stringing everyone along for 11 chapters before the first kiss it felt right to post it all together before midnight strikes. 
> 
> Happy New Year! 🎆


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a super fitting playlist created for my ridiculous fic by ladyofthefl0wers and PeppyBismilk. It’s very funny. 😂
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0pwVFX4hYTbxS5OZ1dQBbc?si=mv73r1yZR5KcfWPpj6zcCA

# BAZ

I hardly slept last night. Too busy alternating between crying and cursing myself for being a complete idiot. And well, yes, excessively wanking while the memories of Simon’s lips and his cock were still fresh in my head. 

That might not be true, I will _never_ forget any detail or even a second of the most earth shattering and ecstatic experience of my life. I will forever remember _and_ keep reliving the sounds Snow made when I had my hand on his cock. It’s still sends a shudder down my spine and makes my cock ache for him. 

And Snow’s magnificent cock, finally up close within my grasp.

Aleister _Crowley_. I still can’t believe that I got to touch Snow’s _cock_. 

If only what happened between us meant anything to Snow. But it meant nothing to him. Snow didn’t spend the night thinking about me, he hasn’t lost a second of sleep. He isn’t thinking about me now either.

I, unfortunately, can’t wait for Snow to text me again about casual sex he wants from me. When will he text me? I don’t dare to contact him myself. I don’t want to seem desperate. (That might repulse him and he won’t want me near him ever again. I can’t risk that.) 

But I also worry that he might have forgotten that I agreed to get him off whenever he wants because his date went too well. (What will I do then?) Did Snow have a date yesterday or not?

My eyes are puffy from all the crying, the shower didn’t help. I could have spelled the puffiness away (there is a spell for it), but I didn’t have it in me to bother. My hair isn’t done either. I just left it be wet and now I’m reminded of the second day Snow came by the tree when I let it like this and I thought he liked it. I’ve been styling my hair a bit messy since then for _him_. (Snow doesn’t care, he never did.) 

Well nobody cares how I look like right now. I’m not planning on leaving my room except for the library, to practice my violin and probably cry some more. 

Is there anything I could have done differently at the shopping centre or the stall? Things were going so well. It felt like a real date when Simon was _smiling_ with a glint in his eyes and laughing. It could have been if Snow ever wanted to date me, which he does not. Is there a way to get Snow interested in me? What does he even want? 

And what will happen to this arrangement we’ve made yesterday if Snow’s date today will go well? Because clearly Snow’s yesterday's date with someone didn’t happen or maybe it was a late night date. 

Maybe Snow went on a date after messaging with me, or perhaps he was messaging me during the date. (Wouldn’t that mean that the date was boring or that Snow wanted to take things slow with that person and needs me to get him off?) 

It seems I keep confusing myself with the uncertainty of _how_ _many_ dates Snow has been on thus far or whether or not there have been any yet. And in that case, when will all those dates Snow will be having with other people (except for me) happen? What are my chances then?

And even if it’s only one person so far. (I highly doubt that, but let’s just pretend for the sake of it.) What if that person is a better kisser than me? (I never kissed anyone before Snow, I clearly lack the practice.) What if that other person is just better in general? Everybody is, I’m a vampire and bad with social cues and insecure and say stupid, insensitive things when I’m nervous. 

Everybody is better than me. 

I’m hardly a catch. And I’m a bloke. Snow isn’t actually queer or at least it hasn’t been confirmed yet. Who is he going or will be going on dates with? What gender and do they have any dark secrets I can expose, as a way to get rid of competition? Would that help?

And even if they are all saints (I doubt that, people are despicable, except for Simon, of course, he’s perfect) and all much better than me, an evil creature of the night, I have one trick up my sleeves they don’t have. _Nobody_ can ever love Simon more than I do. I love everything about him, his good and bad sides — everything. (And I know _all_ his bad sides.) Not that Snow wants my love and why would he?

My mind keeps circling back to the mathematics of this situation. (I had no idea there was a universe in which Snow and math would coexist. Snow is too erratic and unpredictable for such a precise subject.) Are there more than one person Snow is dating? How many people is he going on dates with in total? I can’t even compete with one person, how am I about to try and win Snow with multiple people courting him?

He’s the sun I can’t live without that burns me with every glance and step I take towards him. I’m in agony without him and when I’m with him, I know he will only hurt me while giving me pleasure like he did yesterday.

I just want Simon to text me and tell me his date was horrible and he wants my lips on his lips and my hand on his cock again, or maybe even my mouth on his cock if I’m lucky. I can’t live without him, not now that I got to kiss and to touch him. 

_I need Simon Snow like other people need air._

I close my eyes and imagine Simon here with me, while I let my hand wander down my own body, finding its way to my cock. I’m already hard only from thinking about him. 

What if Simon lets me kiss him anywhere I want? I’ll start by tracing every mole on his beautiful tawny skin with my lips and my tongue. (I will not bite Snow, because I would never want to hurt him and because biting would repulse and _scare_ him.)

I wonder how many freckles and moles are hiding on his body? I was trying not to stare when I was helping him with his jeans yesterday but my eyes did catch a few. 

I would kiss and lick them all and then I would take Simon in my mouth after kissing his majestic cock and licking all the precome up first. (His cock is a sight to behold.) 

I can just imagine how full my mouth would feel with Simon inside. I want his cock and his come. I’d work him up to a frenzy and he will come quickly this time because I will be _that_ good. 

I’ll do my best at least. I never sucked anything as big. (I only sucked my finger for Snow when he was in the tree.) 

And then Simon will explode in my mouth while moaning _my_ _name_ and he’ll kiss me after. And he’ll tell me he doesn’t want another date with whoever it is he met. 

I come on my stomach with tears in my eyes. That is not how things will go at all. (I’ll be lucky if I ever see Snow again during this summer.) It doesn’t do me any good to repeatedly fantasize about him.

But I’m not sure it makes it any worse either. I’m not sure it could _get_ any worse.

I stay put and try to cry it out. Is that how it works? The tears can be cried out? Hasn’t worked thus far… But seems I’m very persistent so who knows… 

Eventually, I get to the washroom to clean up and wash my shame away... I need to stop crying. The hot water feels good on my skin but it reminds me of the heat from Snow’s body and makes me want him _more_. 

The shower isn’t helping, it’s making everything _worse_. I’m forced to get dressed and get back in bed.

I’m crying again or still, who can even tell by now… I’m lying in my bed under the covers, with my clothes still on, like an animal, thinking about Snow. 

This isn’t going to be a productive day at all. At least I already hunted and washed all the blood meticulously off during the first shower. (I wasn’t paying too much attention to what I was doing while feeding earlier.) 

I’m so desperate for Snow, I even start imagining his scent. I glance to the mirror in front of the window — the tree is _empty_. In a fit of desperation, I even march over to the window and look out over the gardens. 

Snow isn’t there.

His scent is intoxicating despite it being all in my head. (This time it is all in my head.) Should I wank again while still crying? I did it the first time. (Including yesterday late at night, a time or two. _Alright_ , I’ve lost count.)

Is it a healthy behaviour? Perhaps my Father was right about me needing professional help. I’m sure he meant it due to troubles of accepting my vampirism, not me desperately craving someone who will never love me back, and constantly wanking in a fit of tears.

But the faint scent of Snow goes like a shudder through my whole body. I know he’s not here, I know I’m slowly going mad, but this very realistic hallucination feels _so_ good. It’ll be a waste not to wank to it. I can imagine him here with me, or even on the tree, it’s still much better than anything I’m faced with today. 

Why can’t Snow just come back to the tree, he doesn’t have to touch me if he doesn’t want to, but could he just watch like before? He enjoyed it then, didn’t he? It wasn’t all just a figment of my vivid imagination?

While I’m contemplating what to do and if I should just wank to his scent. (I _am_ going to), I hear the doorbell. 

I’m happy that I already got dressed. I wonder who it could be and check my mobile. I’ve been keeping it close to myself at all times in case Snow would write something. (He hasn’t.)

No new messages. Then it can’t be Niall, he always messages before he comes over. Perhaps Daphne has ordered something. But I thought none of the postmen came to our house. (They think it’s haunted.)

 _Crowley_. This is very bad timing since I will have to open the door myself. My Father and Daphne are at work and Vera hasn’t come in yet. I wipe my tear stained cheeks and take the stairs down two at a time because I’m in a hurry. (I need to get rid of whoever it is so I can get back to my room and wank to the still fresh hallucination of Snow’s scent.) 

As I go down the stairs my traitorous brain keeps imagining Snow’s scent getting stronger. I am going mad this time, truly and completely. I’m not sure I should come back to Watford for my final year. I should be locked in my room and put under observation. (What if I attack someone in my state of insanity because I mistake a person for a deer?)

I open the door and can’t believe my eyes. Simon bloody Snow is standing in front of my door holding an enormous brown paper bag at ten o’clock in the morning. (He must be going somewhere today.) 

So I haven’t dreamt up his scent. Well, at least that means I’m not going mad yet, not completely at least. I can come back to school. (Finally some good news.)

Snow is wearing one of the grey button ups I picked up for him with a pair of tight black summer trousers. (Yes, those are _my_ colours. Don’t judge me, it suits him, also Snow doesn't know the meaning of those colours so I’m fine.) 

I can’t help but notice that Snow is also sporting a brand new haircut. It’s a bit shorter on the sides but he left the length on top and around his side fridge. It suits him a lot. Snow looks hot. (He always does.)

Snow also clearly brushed his hair and there may even be some good quality product in it. His curls look much healthier like this. (Not that he needs it, Simon is just as beautiful without all that.)

I gather the date yesterday evening must have gone well after all since he’s clearly meeting the person again later today after he’s done with whatever _this_ is. 

Snow isn’t glancing towards my crotch or my lips anymore like he did yesterday. Does it mean he’s here to reject me? To tell me casual sex is off the table? I was wrong, yesterday didn’t break me, but today just might. I can feel tears coming to the surface.

Is it because he met someone or is it because I look terrible today? My eyes are puffy and my hair is probably a mess and I’m not dressed the right way and my clothing is wrinkled from lying in bed. I might be extra pale too due to being overly depressed. (I have hunted but the worse I feel the more _dead_ I look.) 

# SIMON

I got hardly any sleep last night. Not only because I was replaying yesterday in my head on a constant repeat and wanking to the memories of _Baz,_ his lips and his hands, his body... and also imagining other scenarios in which _I_ would do things to _him_. 

Such as, get a hold of his cock and get him off or suck his cock and consume all his come. 

Also _licking_ his arse. (I know I have mentioned that a few times before, but what can I say, I’m _obsessed_ with Baz’s arse.)

I might have had a lot of late night fantasies involving various body parts and Baz as a whole next to me in bed _naked_ moaning from pleasure and arching his back as I slide my cock in and out his tight arse and then wank his cock just before we both shudder with an orgasm and come, me inside Baz’s perfect arse and him between our stomachs. I would lick his stomach after or Baz could gather the come with his fingers and let me _lick_ and _suck_ on them, just like he did with his own come and finger that one time...

That was a big part of my somewhat sleepless night.

But I was also very nervous and excited over this date. I set seven different alarms on my mobile because I was terrified to oversleep. (I didn’t, thank magic for that.)

Yesterday I was at the flower store and tried to explain to the florist that I needed blue and grey bouquet if it was possible.

The woman did say that it was possible but that she would suggest adding a few other colours as well to make it softer and more _intimate_.

Well, that sounded like a good idea to me, I want everything to be intimate when it comes to me and Baz. She is a professional, so she clearly knows what she's doing. The florist gave me a book to browse through and I found an arrangement that fit all the criteria and was also called ”Twilight.” I read the description.

  * The "Twilight" collection is a unique and rare mix of dusty blue, vibrant blue, silver, and white.



They mean dusty blue and silver as in _various shades of grey_ and that’s perfect. (I learned a _lot_ during shopping yesterday, not only how fit _Baz's_ arse looks at close range and how good it felt to bump into it with _my_ hard cock.) I've been paying attention to everything Baz was saying about _all_ the shades of grey and shapes too. Still have no idea how I managed with his arse and his eyes being a part of him and a constant distraction. I feel like a superhuman for accomplishing that, to be honest. 

I did like the idea of white flowers, it's perfect too as a good hint about the biting, since Baz is very pale. Penny always says Baz is the whitest person she’s ever seen. (It’s because he’s a sexy vampire, like in Twilight.)

Well, that flower arrangement sounded like the best idea possible since this is also a way for me to bring up the possible biting with ”Twilight” being a vampire movie and all. 

I don’t think it’s too subtle, I’m _sure_ Baz will understand what I’m suggesting and hopefully will bite me _soon_. 

_Could he already do it today?_

I can only imagine Baz kissing my neck, and maybe even sucking on it and then sliding his fangs inside me and drinking from me. I wonder if I would come just from that? Probably. It seems like the most erotic none sexual things Baz could do to me. 

Could I get Baz off while he’s sucking my blood I wonder? Would he be okay with it? Does Baz _want_ me anywhere his cock and also does he want my blood at all? (I don’t want to assume.)

As it turned out it was a wedding bouquet I found and the florist suggested to choose something else. But this one looks perfect, with the beautiful greys and blues, and for other reasons too. (Yes, because of the vampire angle, it felt as too good of luck to turn it down.) 

Who knows maybe Baz won’t even know that it’s a wedding flower arrangement or even if he does, he’ll think it's because I have feelings for him since the flower arrangement represents _love_. 

It is more than I was planning to tell him but it might be time to let him know some of my feelings just in case he hasn’t figured it out yet. And maybe it’ll be fine if Baz will find out about _everything_ I feel towards him. 

Obviously I don’t know what is in his head and I may have read certain things wrong before. So I can’t know for sure how Baz would react on anything. 

Dating sure is complicated and we haven’t even been on one date. Unless yesterday counts as a date, it felt like one. No, that was a pure coincidence Baz run into me, so it can’t be classified as a date. It would have helped me a lot if yesterday would have counted, could have taken some pressure off.

I’m still torn about what happened yesterday. Does Baz really think I don’t fancy him enough? Could it be true? And in that case, these flowers are the perfect way to show my _true_ feelings for him. 

Baz will understand everything I’m trying to say to him. (He’s very smart and I’m being _very_ clear this time.)

I went over to Baz’s house to the front door. But what if his parents are home? 

Do they know about us? (Is there a us? Baz did agree to a date with me, so it must be at least a little.) 

Do they know about Baz being gay? (Is Baz gay? He did kiss me yesterday and got me off, but I don’t want to presume of course.)

I go to the garden instead to check if I can see him there. Maybe he’s hunting in the garden. (Do they have animals there?) 

Baz isn’t in the garden. (It was a farfetched theory.) Maybe I should just climb the tree and go in through the window.

Would Baz think it’s romantic or will he realize that I’ve been doing it for days? I want to tell him about the spying, but I should probably find a better timing for it or is now a good time? I have no idea.

I do see that his window is closed for the first time since last week. That’s strange. Is Baz not home? Where is he? Has he gone on a date with someone?

 _Great snakes!_ I should probably have texted him before that it was today I meant for the date…

Maybe I should try his front door just in case, just so I know for sure if Baz is on a date with someone else. 

Is it Niall? Why is he trying to steal Baz away from me? Niall’s eyes aren’t even blue naturally, mine are. And that’s Baz’s favourite colour. Why can’t Baz like _me_ instead?

If Baz isn’t home, I should just go over there and threaten Niall with the sword of Mages. Or maybe I should wait until Baz is back from the date. (I don’t want him to see my bad sides, I have many.) 

_Oh_ , I don’t have Niall’s address, I only asked Miss Possibelf for Baz’s address. And who knows if they are at Niall’s or if they are at the shopping centre or the movies or if _bloody_ Niall stole all my date ideas and they are at the minigolf together right now. (Should I go there and check?) I should probably check first if Baz is home, just in case.

I ring the doorbell and start to panic when nobody answers but then Baz opens the door and all I can feel is _happy_ and relaxed. Baz is home, he isn’t on a date. (Maybe he was chilly and closed his window.)

Baz is _so_ gorgeous. I really like how his hair looks today. The waves frame his beautiful face perfectly. He looked like that every day for a whole week. I guess Baz is trying out something new out of curiosity. (I’m very lucky it happened now.)

Baz doesn’t look too happy right now. Is it because I’m disturbing him somehow? Was he planning to go on a date with someone else? Is it Niall? I can’t help the knot of jealousy tightening in my stomach. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to go on a date with me? But then why did he agree yesterday? Has Baz changed his mind about me _already_?

I’m a verge to tears, but then I think maybe it’s not that. I think it could be that Baz is hungry (for blood.) Baz looks a bit _paler_ than he usually does. He must not have fed yet. They do say a hungry bloke is an irritable bloke. That must be it. (Makes sense to me.)

I’m just the same when it comes to food if I have to be honest. Even if lately my hunger lies in other departments so to speak. For example, Baz’s body that I need to lick, but also his _arse_. And of course, I have to put Baz’s cock in my mouth. I’m desperate to make him explode in my mouth and taste his come. 

Baz cock is so beautiful and looks very appetising. Which isn’t surprising at all. Every part of Baz is beautiful, no exceptions. But some parts of him are just _too_ sexy for any person to have. 

Yes, I am talking about the distraction list. And his tongue is on the list now. I’m not sure if it should come before or after Baz’s lips. Perhaps it’s a tie, shared third place after Baz’s arse and his eyes.

So Baz hasn’t fed today. However you look at that — everything seems to be playing in my favour today. I could casually offer Baz my neck so that he won’t need to waste his precious time hunting in the woods. Can’t be too clean there and Baz is all about being tidy. He isn’t looking too tidy right _now_. Must be the thirst or perhaps he just woke up. He’s still looking perfect like that. Baz always looks perfect and gorgeous. 

And I have to repeat myself and mention his hair _again._ I really like Baz’s hair like that, a bit wavy and falling down his cheekbones on the sides a bit. As I said, Baz has been having this particular hairstyle all week. (I’m constantly lucky. Where are those fairies exactly? I should thank them in person for bringing all this _unexpected_ luck to me.)

Baz’s eyes look extra grey today somehow, they almost _sparkle_. Probably it’s just me projecting the Twilight movie. But in the movie, it wasn’t the eyes that were sparkling, but the skin. Why would I imagine Baz’s eyes sparkling? My mind is surely a strange thing. 

But now I’m starting to wonder if everything on their bodies was sparkling in Twilight? 

I also wonder how Baz cock would look if it’d sparkle and whether or not the sparkling transfer by any chance? What would happen when I suck Baz off? Will my tongue and my lips sparkle as well? Then people would surely know what I did to Baz when we’ll go on our date. Not that I mind really. It’s twenty first century. One bloke sucking another bloke’s cock and showing it off for everyone to see isn’t a big deal anymore.

Now, I don’t want you to think that Baz isn’t enough the way he is. Baz’s skin and cock are perfect even without all the sparkles of course. Baz is perfect in general and in every detail.

Baz is _so_ pretty. I keep blushing when I look at him or his eyes. I missed him so much. I haven’t seen him since late yesterday afternoon.

I had no possibility to come to the tree after I spend the whole day with Baz because I had to go to the hairdresser and the florist. And also because I thought it would send the wrong signals, me spying on Baz. That’s just not right to do that to him. (I understand that now.) But it doesn’t mean I haven’t missed watching Baz from the tree. 

Well, I would have preferred to be in Baz’s room instead, but the tree would have been a good second place. Watching Baz fuck himself with the dildo, his rim pink and delicious looking. Baz biting his lip and moaning _and_ gasping... 

My cock is already hard just from seeing Baz but thinking about him _naked_ is driving me completely mad. His precome would be leaking everywhere… 

_Merlin, what I would give to be able to taste it..._ It’s practically a basic instinct as this point. Right after doing anything I can to Baz’s arse. 

Thank magic I can’t see it from where I’m standing. Baz’s arse always turns me into a stammering imbecile (More than the usual that is, his arse turns my brain off _completely_.)

I really hope Baz will go on a date with me right now. Could I suck his cock during the date? Would Baz want me to or will he be too interested in the game? It is only minigolf but Baz is very competitive. He always makes sure to beat everyone during football and he used to smirk when he did so. Oddly his face was always turned towards me during the smirking after every single goal Baz scored. (It’s quite a coincidence. I was really lucky.) 

I always enjoyed watching Baz smirk like that without any menace on his face. Baz looked extra fit and his smirks were making me blush. ( _Again_ , how did I not figure it all out sooner?)

In a fair game of minigolf I would win. It’s all about the handwork. Baz is great with his footwork due to football but I have a better aim with my arms. (I had to fight a lot both at care homes and with different creatures that keep attacking me.) And now I’m thinking about Baz’s hand on my cock yesterday and how good it felt and how I want _my_ hand on _his_ cock. I need it really.

Right, back to the subject at hand. _Fucking hell._

Seems all I can think about are cocks, Baz’s or my own, when thinking about hands. I should just disconnect my brain altogether. Well, I really don’t need to because my brain keeps short circuiting every time I think about Baz and his perfect cock and arse, and lips or when I look in his beautiful eyes…

Wait… What was I trying to say earlier? Probably nothing important...

What wouldn’t I give to get my tongue on Baz right _now_. What should I lick first? I want _everything…_ But if I had to choose, I guess I would start with his cock, get him hard, lick all his precome up, suck his cock until Baz comes, lick all his come up and then progress to his arse… 

That seems to be a reasonable set of actions… Or we could make a game of it, like spin the bottle or twister, the game will decide what I get to lick first. I think we should put all of Baz’s body parts on the list to make it more exciting and also _fair_. I don’t want to mistreat any part of Baz by not licking it. 

That sounds like a good game. Oh, wait, a _game_. 

_Yes_ , I was thinking about minigolf before Baz interrupted me with his sexy body parts. ( _All of Baz and his parts are sexy_.)

But I don’t think Baz will like it if I win in minigolf against him. He has a lot of pride. (I have none at all.) I wonder if I let Baz win, maybe it’ll put him in such a good mood, he’ll let me suck his cock or at least lick it. I could do it somewhere behind the tree on the minigolf court. There might not be too many people this early. And when exactly will I finally be allowed to lick his arse is also what I want to know?

_The suspense is killing me._

The minigolf court opens in half an hour. (I couldn’t wait any longer, I had to come over _now_ .) I hope he thinks I look okay. I’m dressed in what Baz has chosen for me. (I only went for grey and black of course. Baz will know what I mean, that I want _his_ colours on me, that I fancy him a lot.)

I also fixed my hair just like the hairdresser taught me. (I hope.) Does it look okay? Or do I look ridiculous? Is Baz blushing because he thinks I look stupid? It’s a valid fear. You see, I don’t have the same self-esteem as Baz has. 

Baz never doubts himself. Of course, he has no reason to, he is _absolutely_ perfect. Which makes me wonder if Baz really was unsure of my intentions yesterday? It’s strange if he was. Baz is so confident and I thought I couldn’t have made myself _more_ clear. 

This whole situation is very confusing. I alternate between thinking that Baz knows _everything_ I’m feeling and wondering if for some unexplained reason he does _not_. 

Am I by any chance overthinking a bit again? It’s kind of funny if you think about it. Baz makes me both think too much and not enough at the same time. And he keeps distracting me with being himself. 

# BAZ

 _Oh_ … I know exactly what he’s doing here. Snow is going to reject me.

I look at him and slip my hands into my pockets and try to turn my nose down at him. (It didn’t work, I can feel the blood going to my cheeks and ears.) “ _Snow._ ”

Snow smiles at me for no reason at all and blushes too. “Hey, Baz.”

# SIMON

I can’t help but notice that Baz’s eyes are puffy. He still looks beautiful, but now I’m worried he might be allergic to the flowers. (Seems I wasn’t projecting Twilight movie on him, it was allergies that made Baz’s eyes sparkle with moist.) I feel like such a bloody idiot. I should have gone with the artificial flowers, they had a bouquet made of silk and another of wood?

 _Merlin…_ Now I’m thinking about a different kind of wood — Baz’s between his legs that I need to get my hands or my mouth or my tongue on. I’m getting excited just at the thought. I am not looking at his crotch or his lips today. I’ve been having a lot of training in self control and it seems to be paying off. (I have to force my eyes not to look and I feel ready to explode.)

_Settle down, Simon!_

I have to take this slow. Baz wouldn’t want me to rush him. I’ll eventually get to touch Baz’s cock if I play my cards right.

# BAZ

“I’m trying to imagine what you’re doing at my door… Did you roll down a very steep hill and land here?” I sneer at him and hope that my voice doesn’t tramble. 

_Why do you want to break my heart, Simon Snow?_

Why can’t I be enough? I’ll do anything you want me to.

Would it help if I beg? I’ll do it right now on the front porch if it’s _all_ that it takes. Or would Snow rather prefer if I do something different while on my knees? Would he want me to suck his cock right now while on the porch? (I’ll do it, there aren’t any neighbours around. Who am I kidding, I’ll do it anyway if this is my only chance to have Snow’s cock in _my_ mouth. I spell the neighbours innocent later.)

# SIMON

Baz is _so_ funny. He has a great sense of humour and he’s beautiful _and_ smart. I’d spend the whole day looking at him and listening to him talk.

# BAZ

Snow laughs as if I just told him a funny joke.

 _Really?_ Why is Snow smiling and laughing and blushing when I’m trying very hard not to show my true feelings to him.

Unless he’s laughing at me, at my pain… Does Snow really have it in him to do that? 

_No_ , it must be something else...

# SIMON

I’m so nervous, even though I planned it all out. Baz eyes make me lose my train of thought. They make me nervous but I never want to stop looking in his beautiful grey eyes. I’m just so unsure of what Baz wants. What if I have misunderstood and he doesn’t want my love?

I still need to try. I’m not one to give up easily. _I can do it!_

I can talk!

# BAZ

“I came to see you,” Snow looks in my eyes and blushes again. 

That’s how he lures me into his orbit, with those eyes and that _blush_. His blush doesn’t mean that Snow cares. 

Oh no, it’s a treacherous, _manipulative_ blush, created to mess with my heart and my head, leaving me empty and hollow when the blush is done with me. 

_I won’t let the blush know what it does to me._

“Well,” I say, pointedly lifting my eyebrows. “It was good seeing you—” I’m being an arsehole now because everything is wrong and I’m worried Snow will notice my puffy eyes and guess somehow that I’ve been crying about him since I left the stall at the shopping centre. 

_Crowley_. He’ll never want me getting him off again. (Not that I think he does now. Snow is here to reject me in person because he’s a very kind and a decent person like that.)

I love Simon so much while he doesn’t even like me a little, not even enough to let me get him off.

# SIMON

I think Baz is also nervous. He doesn’t have to. I want him so much, I’m in love with him. I thought he knew from the clothing I'm wearing in _his_ colours... Was that not enough?

Maybe if I smile, Baz will _finally_ understand.

# BAZ

Snow smiles at me, ( _Stop smiling!_ You’re making it harder for me not to break!)

“I came to ask you something.” Ask me? Ask me what exactly? If he already broke my heart or if there’s anything left? Unless I can expect some kind of mercy from Snow… Can I?

I’m constantly doubting my perception skills.

“All right,” I say again, this time cutting him some slack. I don’t actually want him to stop smiling and get frustrated and leave. In truth, I prefer to enjoy his blush and his smiles for as long as I can, even though they mean nothing to him and everything to me. I’ll keep him here on the porch forever if I could. I’d rather get him in my bed and devour him whole (yes, I’m talking primary about his cock.) I never want Snow to leave if I can help it. I’d chain him to the bed if that was an option if he was into _that_. How kinky is Snow exactly and will the right kind of kinky be a way to keep him interested?

But then I start to wonder if perhaps Snow has a different reason for this visit, the reason that doesn’t include ripping my heart right out of my chest.

Could it be that against all odds Snow wants my hands on his cock? Is he here to get off? A sudden relief washes over me and I feel almost giddy. (Because I’m _so_ desperate for him.)

Snow doesn’t like me but at least he isn’t repulsed by my lips and my hands. He must still remember that I told him yesterday evening via text that he could have me whenever he wants, no strings attached. (Snow hasn’t forgotten. I was a bit worried about it this morning. _Fine_ , a lot worried, I was terrified.)

Except there are strings attached for me of course. But at this moment it doesn’t matter. I won’t tell him _no_ , I could _never_ tell him no because I want him and I’ll take this and be grateful. 

I’m so happy right now even though the thought of me touching him and him not caring is already breaking my heart. (I still want to. I’ll take anything from him and thank him for it because I’m disturbed.)

Am I going to be allowed to touch Snow again or is it a dream, am I still asleep in bed?

I want to feel the hardness of his cock against my body when Snow kisses me. I want to slip my hand inside those black trousers I picked up for him and he looks delicious in and gets his cock out for me to behold and to worship. I want to feel the cock with my hand and make Simon feel good. I want him to _moan_ just like he did yesterday. 

Would Snow moan _my_ name if I do a better job today or will he forget it’s me and moan someone else’s name? At this point, I don’t even care, I just want Snow to moan from the pleasure of having my hand on his cock. He can pretend it’s someone else, but at least he’s letting me touch him.

Could I lick his come this time? If this is the last time Snow will let me near him, couldn’t he at least have the decency to let me taste his come as a going away present? A farewell gesture of goodwill. (Is that a thing when it comes to tasting someone’s come?)

Snow doesn’t need to kiss me after if that’s where the problem lies. It could be, with Snow being straight, any come might repulse him, even his own. (Is that how heterosexuality works?)

 _Please_ , let me lick your cock, Simon, I’ll do anything you want.

# SIMON

Baz seems to be finally smiling, it’s because he can guess by now how much I fancy him and he’s okay with it. (Thank magic, I thought maybe I did come on too strong.)

But I’m getting nervous again. Well not again, _still_. I’m still very nervous. 

This whole debacle with flowers has been trying. Am I starting this all wrong?

What if Baz doesn’t like flowers in general or these flowers in particular? And I don’t even know if he eats chocolate. Maybe he’s allergic. 

Are there nuts in the chocolate? I have no idea. (I should have checked.)

Baz can also be allergic to cacao itself. There’s definitely cacao in the chocolate. (I don’t even need to check.)

 _Bloody hell_ … What have I done?

# BAZ

Snow looks very nervous now, Chomsky only knows why. He opens the paper bag and produces a blue grey wedding bouquet and a tin of chocolate and presents me with it all. 

Yes, of course I know it’s a wedding bouquet and I also know all the flowers by name. Fiona was apprenticing with a herbalist in Beijing years ago and surely you can imagine that she taught me all about that. 

_Alright_ , you caught me in an obvious lie. I’ll tell you the _real_ reason for my extended knowledge of wedding flowers. I have been browsing through bride magazines for years, daydreaming of a perfect ceremony for Simon and me. (I’m stupid like that.) 

And after the beautiful fantasy of our wedding, I would wank to the thought of our first night together. How Simon would take me for the very first time in our newlywed bed and tell me he loves me. (The vision of Simon inside of me, filling me whole with his come _and_ his love gave me quite the orgasm.) 

I might not be an expert on meaningless hookups. This being my first one, and also not being meaningless to me at all. But I'm very sure people don’t give gifts before casual sex. 

There can only be _one_ explanation to it all. This is rejection as I feared from the start. How was I so foolish as to hope for something good in my life? I was hoping that Snow would agree for quick sex without the need to offer me anything in return. I was wrong. I’m not even good enough for that.

This is Snow’s way of saying, ”No hard feelings, but I don’t want you anywhere near my cock anymore.” I’m taking the flowers and the tin of chocolate from his hands because I’m too weak to refuse him, to refuse this humiliation. What an utter disaster has my life become...

I guess it might soften the blow because I am on the verge of tears and maybe if I eat the whole tin of chocolates in one sitting while crying, it might make me feel better. (Might make me throw up at the very least. I wish it was as easy to get rid of my feelings to Snow.)

Not sure about the wedding bouquet though. What is it supposed to be good for in a rejection? Perhaps it’s Snow’s way of saying that he would never love me and is already in love with someone else and they will get married and he wants me to know. (Must have been a very successful date for things to escalate this quickly. I would have proposed to Simon yesterday if I knew the subject was up for debate.)

But isn’t that rubbing it in a tad too much? That seems cruel if I have to be completely honest. I always considered Snow being a kind person. (Usually not to me though, that must be the reason then… Because it’s me, Snow doesn’t have to care. I don’t count because I’m not human.) 

It could also be that Snow just got whatever flowers were available in _our_ _colours_ and it is supposed to be simply a reminder that nothing that happened between us ever mattered to Snow and everything dies eventually? It’s a symbolic death of our casual sex relationship… 

_Well played, Snow!_ I got the message, loud and clear.

I try to hold his gaze. I can’t let him see that I’m crumbling on the inside. I need to think about my pride. I don’t have any, not really, not where Simon Snow is concerned. I’d _cry_ in front of Snow right now if that would sway him to take me back and accept sex with no strings attached from me. 

I won’t cry because he’ll just get even more disgusted with me. (I just hope Snow doesn’t notice that there are unshed tears in my eyes already.) Except I suspect they aren’t unshed anymore, I’m _already_ crying. Is there any chance Snow won’t notice? (I’m cursing my life and my heart repeatedly.)

This right here is the worst moment of my entire existence and I’m a vampire.

Make it quick, _Snow_ , don’t prolong my suffering! I need to get back to my room as soon as possible before the uncontrollable sobbing kicks in.

# SIMON

Baz is definitely allergic to the flowers. His eyes are getting very moist, he’s crying and he looks very uncomfortable while holding the bouquet. I’m a real moron for giving him real flowers instead of artificial… I messed this up big time. Will Baz reject me because of it?

Shall I take them off his hands? No, that might seem like I’m trying to point out Baz’s health issues. I mean, allergies are nothing to be ashamed of but still, Baz might take it the wrong way.

Baz is perfect at everything and he knows it himself too of course, so it might wound his pride if I comment. And Baz already looks a bit embarrassed as it is. (Allergies must be a sensitive subject for him.)

Which is ridiculous, allergies don’t take Baz’s perfection away from him. _Nothing_ can do that. Baz is one of those people who can do or say anything and it’s always elegant and perfect. He looks like an angel if angels were perfect. (Are angels perfect? Baz sure is. Perfect _and_ gorgeous.) 

Maybe I should smile so Baz will think I haven’t noticed the allergies?

# BAZ

Snow is practically laughing in my face now. Are my tears _that_ entertaining? I can’t believe he would do that to me… the bastard... 

_Why can’t you love me, Simon Snow?_

# SIMON

I don’t think my smiling is helping. Baz must have figured it all out, that I can see his allergies and that I’m at fault for them. Or is my love that is making Baz uncomfortable? I have no idea what is what anymore… I might have had before… or maybe not...

I still hope it's about allergies. It is all my fault. I was stupid not to think this through more carefully. I just wanted to get something that would make Baz understand how important he is to me and I forgot about the rest.

This is like shopping all over again. I was so focused on getting the right colour I completely forgot about the right shape. I was lucky Baz was there to help me. But he wasn’t with me _this_ time. 

I think I keep on making these mistakes because I can’t concentrate on too many things at a time. I know what you’re thinking, these weren’t too many things per se. And you’ll be right about that. However, you have to remember that while doing all that I’m constantly thinking about Baz and what I want to do to his arse and his cock and his lips and fingers and the rest of him really. 

It’s a true wonder I can think and function at _all_.

I’m _terribly_ embarrassed about the flowers. But what’s done is done. I need to just ask Baz and let him choose what _he_ wants. Will he reject me because of the flowers or could he disregard this dum yet _honest_ mistake? 

# BAZ

Snow stopped smiling and looks _extremely_ nervous and shy for some reason. Perhaps he was thinking about something else before when he was smiling and not about breaking my heart. 

_Simon is a very kind person_. (How could I ever thought him to be cruel, even to someone like _me_?)

Could it be that it’s hard for him to reject me? Surely Snow must have had lots of practice with getting rid of unwanted suitors…

“Do you want to go on a date with me right now?” He asks and I must not have heard him correctly. Perhaps Snow just ask me to get him off? 

But even that seems so farfetched. _Unless..._ Is it really happening? 

A true Christmas miracle at the beginning of July... 

Does this mean Snow _isn’t_ rejecting the casual sex? But I don’t want to get my hopes up. This could be about something else entirely...

“Excuse me?” I say and possibly sound beyond dumbstruck. I definitely feel that way. My brain has been playing tricks on me repeatedly. (It’s been established.)

_This needs to stop now._

Is Snow offering casual sex to me or is he rejecting my hand on his cock? I’ve been hunting every day so as not to be tempted by Simon in the heat of the moment. Yet I seem to not be able to stay _sane_ despite all the feeding. Have I hunted too often? Can too much blood affect my brain capacity _this_ _much_?

I need to know in order to survive this confrontation. Oh well, better to say in order to know if I should just die on the spot or if there is perhaps some glimpse of happiness waiting for me by being allowed near Snow’s lips or his cock. (However fleeting that might be.)

# SIMON

Baz isn’t responding. Have I misread it all? Does this mean that Baz doesn’t want to go on a date with me because he doesn’t want me? 

Fucking hell! Did I choose the _wrong_ clothing somehow or didn't match it the right way? Do these trousers go with this button up _at all_? 

Or is it because I’m not good enough for Baz? I know I’m not, but I thought I was _improving…_ Or is this about something else and has nothing to do with me? 

Baz has a very strange expression on his face, he must be suffering a lot because of allergies as well as planning to reject me. 

Or... Could it be _all_ about allergies? Maybe Baz really didn’t hear me because of that. Are allergies affecting his hearing alongside his _watery_ eyes?

I really hope Baz won't reject me because of the flowers. Or maybe the flowers aren’t good enough? Is chocolate good enough? I asked the shop assistant for something _fancy_. 

What if Baz doesn’t like them and will hate me because of my bad taste in regards to both flowers _and_ chocolate? That’s a double mistake right there. 

Does he even like sweets? I only ever seen (heard more like it) Baz eat salt and vinegar crisps. But that didn’t strike me as a good first date gift. Should I have gotten the crisps _instead_? Do people give that on the first date? Why haven’t I ask the shop assistant about the crisps?

_I’m terrified Baz will hate me forever._

Baz will probably tell me no because I’m a moron with no taste and stupid ideas for first date gifts. But I still want to ask again, just to be _sure_.

Maybe Baz will show me mercy despite everything.

# BAZ

Snow looks nervous, he blinks his pretty eyes at me and swallows, he’s making me _constantly_ blush, “Do you want to go on a date with me, Baz?”

_Wait… What is happening?_

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

# BAZ

Does this mean I heard Snow correctly the first time? 

This whole interaction can’t be a madness induced vision, can it? Because I don’t think I could have imagined something as bizarre as _this_ — Simon Snow brushed his hair before asking me out. It must be real or am I too far gone into insanity?

_What does this mean?_

” _Now?_ ” I ask still disbelieving. How is this happening? I thought Snow wanted to reject me, and then I thought he wanted to get off, and then I thought again that it was to reject me, because he came over here with the metaphorical death flowers and chocolates meant to eat while crying one’s sorrows away, trying to mend a broken heart. 

Where was I now? Oh yes… The point is Snow wasn’t thinking about me with any romance in mind at all no matter the lack _or_ the possibility of casual sex.

 _Bloody_ Snow! He has been messing with my head way too much lately. 

I thought he wasn’t interested in me. I thought Snow met someone else. I thought the date must have gone well because he’s so put together now all of a sudden. ( _Was there a date?_ ) I thought he didn’t want me. 

Does this mean that Snow wants me? And in what way?

” _Yes_... If you want to, that is,” he says and blushes even more. 

And here I was thinking yesterday when I followed him to the shopping centre that twelve o’clock seemed too early for a date. Not in his world apparently. 

Do I want to go on a date with him? Does he even need to ask? I dreamt of this day since I was twelve. (I never thought it would come true but I dreamt of it _nonetheless_.) And Snow is asking me if I want to and he looks so nervous as if there is even the slightest risk I’ll say no to him.

Is Snow a _complete_ moron? What am I thinking, of course, he is. (But apparently so am I!)

And then it hits me. The flowers and chocolate are for me as _date_ gifts not as rejection gifts. (I love flowers and chocolate, I have _quite_ the sweet tooth.) 

And did he style his hair for me too? I never saw him doing anything to his curls except for constantly tugging on them. Why hasn’t Snow been pulling his hair neither yesterday nor today? I thought it was about a date. But he’s here now, asking _me_ on a date. This makes no sense at all!

Can it be, surely not… or perhaps… is it… could it be because of _me_? 

Simon doesn’t need to do anything of the kind for _my_ benefit. He is already everything I could ever want or need. But the thought of him going to all that trouble for me makes my heart to ache of happiness. (Also my _cock_ , it’s aching of need for Snow.)

Snow must want me, _truly_ want me. Well, he is probably dating a lot this summer, keeping his options open. Snow and Wellbelove broke up at the end of the last term. I heard it with my own ears, they were at the dining hall. He didn’t seem heartbroken at all and I found that quite _odd_ at the time. 

However, now I realize that he must have wanted it this way— being single. He needed the freedom to date around during the summer. 

_Everything suddenly makes perfect sense._

That’s why he got a haircut and wanted a new wardrobe — for excessive dating. (And perhaps some people want _all_ that, I just want Simon as he is because he’s absolutely _perfect_.) 

But these are some great news right there. Yes, I’m one of many suitors. But it’s a start. I can work with this. This means there might be still time to make Snow to fall in love with me. How do you make someone fall in love? I should google it. ( _Later_ , not now obviously.)

 _Yes, I want to go on a bloody date with you._ (But I have other things in mind for ten o’clock in the morning.)

 _Oh,_ I should probably say it out loud too.

“No,” I say and his face falls before I get to finish my sentences. Does it mean Snow cares about me or is it purely wounded pride that was at stake?

_Stop thinking, Basilton._

Right...

“That’s not what I meant,” I scramble out, “I’m home alone right now.” I hope Snow gets what I’m trying to say. 

But just in case he doesn’t, Snow is known for being exceedingly thick, I take his hand and drag Snow to me. I close the door behind us and push him against it. 

Snow looked nervous when I dragged him inside the house. I don’t kiss him because of that. Will he think I’m coming on too strong because I've just pushed him against the door? Is Snow appalled by my desperation?

But then he winds his fingers in my hair and puts his other arm around my waist like yesterday and kisses me. Snow is so warm and any part of him pressed against me makes my body simmer in the very best way. 

Simon kissed me first this time and he is snogging me still. And it’s _marvellous_. 

That must be how heaven must feel like. One of my hands finds its way to his hair and the other to his neck, I need to study myself because I might be swooning. (Simon’s lips and tongue are _that_ good.)

Snow tongue gained access to my mouth a while back. Gained is a strong word. All that was needed is the slightest touch of his tongue against my lips and I parted them for him _eagerly_ . Snow’s tongue feels wonderful inside of me. And he seems to be a very hard worker with that thing. I can’t stop myself from _moaning_...

Somehow Snow’s tongue appears both very soft but also made of _steel_. He’s circling it around, paying attention to every part of the inside of my mouth. Our tongues are moving in a sort of order now, and it’s quite the synchronic choreography.

I finally understand the reason why Snow couldn’t waltz — it’s because all his skills went to this particular dance of tongues. And let me tell you — _this_ is better than the Walz. (I’ll do this for the rest of my life with Simon if I get the chance.)

He feels _so_ good, other images keep popping in my mind, involving other parts of my body Snow’s tongue could invade. I push them aside, Snow isn’t into _that_.

I want any and every part of Snow inside me. His lips are so soft and his tongue is very persistent to match what I’m doing. (I have no idea what I’m doing, but Snow seems to enjoy it nonetheless.) 

Snow is still doing that thing with his chin from yesterday but he also appears to let me lead more, let _me_ choose. That’s a bit nerve wracking if I have to be honest since I don’t want to do something wrong. I should have googled kissing. I can’t do that now for obvious reasons so I do have to _improvise_.

I move my tongue and try to see how Snow reacts, he has been very receptive to whatever I’ve been doing thus far. So I decided to just go with what feels right. 

_Look at me being impulsive._

All I want is to feel and to taste Simon. I’m licking in his mouth and I’m not even worried that I’m doing something wrong because he moans _loudly_ around my tongue. (These can’t be the moans of agony, can they? That’s not a thing, is it?) 

Before I overanalyze it, Snow is pulling me closer and I can feel his hard cock against my tighs, a jolt of electricity is overtaking all my senses. I let Snow feel my cock too. I let him know I’m hard. (Will he be okay with that?)

Simon is pulling me closer and gasping in my mouth, hands are tightening his hold on me. Simon starts to suck on my lip and I’m losing any self-restraint I had left and almost bite my lip and then I _gasp_...

 _Aleister fucking Crowley_. I want him... 

Snow is still not going after my arse. Why is he not going after my arse? I’ve been parading it in front of him the whole day yesterday. Except, now that I think about it, maybe he is. Snow’s hand seems to keep moving just to the small of my back but he moves his hand back every time.

What does it mean? He seems to want to… or am I misreading this somehow?

It's a longshot but… Could it be that Snow wants to touch me but isn’t sure if _I_ want that?

# SIMON

Baz dragged me inside his house. And it took me by surprise because I’m not entirely sure what he meant by that or what he wants. What Baz said to me sounded _suggestive_ but then again everything that comes out of Baz’s mouth sounds suggestive to me. I may have misheard or misunderstood. (He’s so _hot_.)

Perhaps he didn’t want the neighbours to see me? But I thought they didn’t live close by… Was I mistaken? Are there some neighbours around I haven’t noticed?

I know what _I_ want Baz to mean, but it surely can't be _that_. But then he pushes me against the door, and I think it means Baz wants this, wants to be physical with me. It’s time to take a leap of faith I guess. 

I hold Baz just like I did yesterday, he seems to like it, then I kiss him. Baz kisses me back very enthusiastically. _Merlin_. My deduction skills seemed to work out well at last. (I’ve had repeated troubles before with figuring out the things he wants.)

Baz’s hand is in my hair and the other on my neck. Does it mean he knows I want him to bite me? Did he already know the bouquet was called Twilight and what it meant? 

_When will he bite me?_

Baz’s lips are intoxicating but I want _more_ of him. I carefully lick on his lip and see if Baz wants to take this further. He does. Baz opens his mouth to me _immediately._ (I’m so lucky Baz seems to like me and wants to snog me. I still can’t figure out if Baz is experienced with this. Has Baz snogged other people or not previously? I need to know whom to _threaten_.) 

I want to feel every part of the inside of Baz’s mouth with my tongue. I want to taste him everywhere, thoroughly. I want to make Baz feels good and I also want him to know that my tongue is _very_ flexible and powerful. I need to hint to what I could do to his _arse_. I hope Baz understands. 

I’ve been kissing him like that for a while with the _whole_ power of my tongue, licking every surface I can find and moving against Baz’s own tongue.

This feels suspiciously like sword fighting. _Huh…_ It was only yesterday at the stall with Baz, I discovered that swords remind me of cocks and it is the reason I’m so into swords and now _this_? 

Merlin, the world sure is a confusing place… 

I think Baz enjoys our tongues pushing against each other too because he keeps moaning in my mouth and that just goes all the way to my _cock_. I wonder if he is also into _swords_? 

I’m moaning because his tongue feels amazing against mine. But I also need to let Baz do what he wants. I let Baz’s tongue decide where this is going. (By now he must have picked up all the hits about licking his arse as it is.)

Our tongues are touching and sliding against each other and it’s so good. Baz is so fucking _hot_ , he knows exactly what he’s doing. I’m constantly moaning in his mouth.

Baz can feel my cock now (it’s _very_ hard) and I’m worried it’s too much but then I feel Baz’s also very hard cock against _me_ and something in me _snaps_. I’m pulling Baz closer, gasping and it’s so good but still _not_ enough. 

I want more of Baz. I start to suck on his lip. He almost bites it right than _himself_ and gasps. (I take that as positive encouragement and keep going.)

 _Fuck…_ Baz’s lips are so soft I want to bite them _myself_. I keep on sucking on his lower lip, making it pink with my mouth just like yesterday. I think he likes it because he moaning a lot. I wish he was moaning as louder. Maybe if I suck harder on his lip… 

Baz’s hard cock pressed against me is driving me mad and I can’t stop thinking about how I need to suck so much more than his lip right now… But it’s a start. I don’t want to come on too strong.

# BAZ

It’s only been one day. But I missed Snow’s expert kisses already. And when he started sucking on my lip I was on my way to lose any coherent thought.

I’m trying very hard not to moan too loud, I might be coming on a tad too strong. Snow just asked me out, we aren’t together yet. ( _Yet_ being the core word here, I won’t rest until we get there.)

But I can’t let him see me this weak and desperate, it’s not attractive. Unless it was Simon who was desperate for me, that would only be hot and incredibly attractive. But Snow isn’t me, he might get repulsed and leave me. 

_Crowley_. Why is Snow sucking harder on my lip? 

Why is he being so infuriatingly gorgeous and _skilful_ with his mouth? 

Doesn’t Snow understand that I can’t fight it, that my composure will slip and he’ll see me for who I am — a lovesick vampire with no self-respect when it comes to his blue eyes and tawny skin and those moles I still haven’t gotten to _lick_?

I need to lick them, the moles and the blush. _Oh_ , how I love his blush. I may have changed my opinion on the matter a few times today. What can I say, it’s been an uncharacteristically long day.

The hell with it all, I can’t stop myself. Simon’s lips are too good not to moan.

# SIMON

_Jesus fucking Christ._ This is a very difficult situation, (a _hard_ one too.) I’m getting swept away by Baz’s lips and his moaning. I want to make him moan like this forever. What shall I do to make it happen? Is it possible at all? 

_Bloody hell_ , I keep trying to grab his arse. I still don’t know if Baz wants me to or not. I thought maybe he did, and before I thought he didn’t. I can’t assess this situation properly with Baz pressed so close to me. I lack the capacity to think as it is when it comes to Baz. At the moment, extended thinking might be out of the question.

# BAZ

I need to say something, I don’t know what to do exactly to make Snow understand what I want. I thought I already did that. I thought I made myself very clear. I dragged him inside the house and pushed him against the door. I break the kiss even though I don’t want to and hear him stammer, ”So-sorry.”

Did Snow really think that I _didn’t_ want him to grope me? _For snakes’ sakes_ , what kind of an idiot is he exactly? ( _Nevermind that_.)

I’m going to be very brave now and let the chips fall where they may. I take hold of Snow’s hand, the one behind my back and place it on the target. Snow’s eyes widen for a split second and I start to worry, but then he squeezes my arse while pulling me back into the kiss with his other hand and all is right in the world. 

_Fucking finally!_

Keep touching my arse, Simon I need that and I need _you_.

# SIMON

 _Merlin_. I’m worried I overstepped when Baz broke our kiss and I try to apologize for the almost groping. Does Baz think I’m a creep? Should I say something more? Should I try to explain it was on accident I almost groped him. Should I say I saw a spider or a leaf and tried to swap it away? Will Baz believe me? (I can’t actually see his arse from over here.)

I’m burning red and I wish the floor would just swallow me whole… But then Baz takes my hand and places it on his arse himself and well I don’t need to be told twice. I took hold of it immediately.

I can’t be sure if Baz wanted me to touch his arse yesterday or not but I am sure he wants it today. 

I’m never letting go of Baz’s arse that’s for sure, not now when I’m finally allowed to touch it. It’s a perfect arse, both hard and soft at the same time. I think it’s some kind of hybrid of arse being soft tissue combined with years of football practices. And the shape that was amazing to look at is even more amazing to feel. Is this what people mean when they say you can bounce pennies against an arse? And if the answer is yes, — could I bounce my _cock_ against his arse instead?

 _Christ,_ it’s the perfect arse however you look or feel. (Which shouldn’t be surprising with Baz being perfect in _everything_.)

Baz’s arse feels so good under my hand, and just as I suspected yesterday — fits my hand perfectly, it’s as if Baz’s bum and my hands were created for each other. Makes me also wonder if my cock was created for his arse too?

 _Great snakes!_ Is it possible? (I’ve always had trouble keeping up with what’s true and what’s a myth in the world of Mages.)

What I do know is that touching his behind is everything I could have dreamt of. I want to keep touching it until the day I die. (Not _only_ touch.)

Baz’s arse is making me extremely hard. (Even more, than I was before.) I want his arse so much. Right now…

” _Fuck…_ ” I growl because Baz is so sexy, I _need_ my cock inside his arse now!

# BAZ

Snow relocated his other hand to my derrière too. (This is even better.) We’re still snogging. We’ve been snogging for a while. He is doing amazing things both to my lips and my arse. Snow’s body is so warm and I’m warming up too under his touch. But there’s a different kind of warmth spreading through me as well. The one inside my heart, the one that gives me _hope._ I desperately want Snow to choose me. I’ve been craving him for years. I wanted to kiss him since I was twelve. And I'm finally got to do it, _twice_ — yesterday and today. Will there be a third time? Do I dare to hope for that much?

_Feeling all of him against me feels amazing._

Simon is an expert kisser and groper as it turns out. And he looks so _hot_ while doing both. 

I have been trying very hard _not_ to gasp (I don’t want him to think I’m pathetic), but it seems to be a fool’s errand. 

Every time I think I got myself at least a little under control, Snow goes and does something to shake me out of it. He’s been sucking and biting on my lip and it feels incredible. 

Snow’s hands on my arse are holding on so tight I’m surprised they haven’t become a permanent part of me yet. 

_It can’t get better than this._

Why hasn’t Snow done all this yesterday? He seems to be very into it today. I even hear him growl ” _Fuck…_ ” and that is going straight to my cock. I _love_ his growls, they make everything so much better. They also make me feel like Snow wants me.

I've been getting hard since Snow kissed me, and after he grabbed my arse (I helped him with that), I only kept getting harder. But now, I’m so hard I could come right this moment from all the groping. 

And then Snow goes and bites my lip.

 _How am I not to come from this?_ (It required a lot of will power and a few less then inticing images.)

# SIMON

Snogging Baz is the best feeling in the world. His lips are getting pink under my mouth and it’s driving me mental.

I can’t help but think about his rim and how I want to make it pink too, using my mouth and how I desperately need to slide my cock inside of Baz’s beautiful and sexy arse. 

_Fuck!_

Baz is _so_ hot… I’m biting his lip out of desperation and arousal. (Baz doesn’t seem to mind, he’s been moaning more loudly since I started with the biting. The more he moans and gasps the better everything feels.)

How tight will his arse be for my cock? And will that make it better for both of us? I want to make Baz feel _good._ I’ll do anything for that to happen. What does he want and like? (I know a few things about that after watching Baz through the window. I hope that knowledge will work in my favour.)

Everything feels _so_ good. Baz is driving me mad. His body pressed to mine, his lips, his arse. I’ve been palming and squeezing and holding it tight ever since Baz put my hand there. 

I’m using both my hands now because one was clearly _not_ enough. Nothing will ever be enough when it comes to his arse. It’s a perfection that needs all the attention in the world. I just hope I’m up to the challenge. (I am persistent when I put my mind to something.)

Right now I want to be even closer to Baz. I’ve got an idea and I might just be brave enough to try it. I just hope Baz won’t mind. Should I ask him _first_? But we’re snogging and it’ll be a shame to break the kiss and waste it on talking. Especially when Baz already put my hand on his arse _himself_ earlier. That should indicate that Baz isn’t opposed to my body parts coming into contact with his arse, right?

I think I’ll try just in case.

# BAZ

I was mistaken yet again. (I seem to be constantly wrong in regards to Simon Snow as of lately.)

Snow just hitched both my legs around his waist and spun us around, pushing my back against the door. He did all that without breaking our kiss, I might add. (Who knew Snow was this _graceful_ but also so fucking strong?) (Must be all the sword swinging.)

Snow is too hot for his own good. People might take advantage of it, of _him_. I need to protect Simon from _everyone_. Should I lock him in my bedroom forever?

Simon pinned me against the door and it’s incredible...

 _“Fuck…”_ escapes my lips (loudly) but I’m not even embarrassed because Snow literally growls right now.

 _Aleister fucking Crowley._ This is so much better than before. (Snow still has his hands on my arse but now I can feel his hard cock against my arse too.) 

I just can’t stop moaning and gasping and I don’t even care.

” _Yes…_ ” I moan. Please, _Simon_ , just fuck me already! I need you to fill me right now. 

I don’t say it out loud, that would be rushing him. Snow isn’t even gay or is he? I’m getting confused again… (I’m in a _constant_ state of confusion nowadays.) It was much easier for me to figure out that I was queer at the age of twelve, then try and decipher if Simon Snow is at eighteen.

Simon Snow is an enigma sent on this earth to both torture me and give me the most unbelievable heavenly pleasure there is. 

I can’t figure out if he’s an angel or a demon. Perhaps he’s both, a duke of purgatory and the duality of it is what’s messing with my head. (I really don’t mind, not as long as I feel Simon’s lips on mine and his hands and cock against my arse. I wish this moment never ends.)

Snow can no doubt feel my cock against his stomach, since we’re pressed together. (I’m _very_ hard now, I hope he doesn’t mind.)

# SIMON

I thought it was a good idea, but I was still very nervous about how Baz might receive it. I’ve been having troubles deciding what is right and what is wrong to do regarding Baz for a while now. 

Well, seems I needn’t have worried. Baz gasped ” _Fuck…_ ” right in my mouth and started to moan _more_. I was growling myself because feeling Baz’s arse with both my hands _and_ my very hard cock is an indescribable experience.

Baz is still moaning and he’s very hard. Feeling Baz’s cock again my stomach has been a true bliss. I would have preferred to feel it with my hands or my mouth, but all in good time, I guess. Baz must really like this position a lot too. 

I hear him gasp, ” _Yes…_ ” and it’s _so_ hot, his mouth is so sexy and so is his voice, and I want Baz _so_ _much…_

So perhaps my ideas aren’t that bad. I do have another one up my sleeve. I just hope it won’t be too much. 

And honestly, this is less of an idea and more of immediate _need_ my body has. I don’t even know what exactly I’m doing, I just know that I have to do it to Baz, to get my cock as close to his arse as possible and keep moving against it. 

The want and the need are so strong that if I don’t do it right this moment, I might explode of _sheer_ horniness. (Is that a thing? Could it happen? It sure feels that way.)

# BAZ

Snow is pushing me against the door but also starts to thrust his cock towards my arse and it feels so good I let out an actual groan. ( _A groan!_ ) And to top it all, I started gasping and moaning in his mouth even more than before. 

_Aleister fucking Crowley._ Is Snow trying to kill me? I’ll be the one growling soon and die out of embarrassment. At least moaning doesn’t seem like a bad choice compared to _that_. 

I’m pretty sure this is considered dry humping. Not that I ever tried that myself obviously. How is Snow so knowledgeable? Has he done this before and with whom _exactly_? 

I should just stop thinking altogether for the sake of any resemblance of sanity I have left.

Snow holds me without any troubles, he’s _that_ strong. Those upper arm muscles and broad shoulders are not only for show. 

I was wrong the other day, Snow can never be Mr. Darcy. _Oh no_ , Simon Snow is Hercules — part god part man. Strong and enduring like a god and growling like a man. I can’t help but wonder which part does Snow’s cock belong to, being that impressive in size and magnificent in sight, it can hardly be mere _human_? I want to experience Snow’s godlike cock inside me. 

_Won’t you please give me your cock, Simon…_

I’ll take good care of it with my mouth and my tongue… Furthermore, my arse needs to be filled with his cock right now. (What can I say, my arse is just as desperate for Snow’s cock as I am.)

I hunger for Simon, for his strong arms soft lips and _very_ hard cock. But it’s not just that kind of hunger that is brewing inside me.

Simon smells like bacon and homemade cinnamon buns, he smells like something I’d gladly eat. (I’ll never bite him of course, no matter how much I want to.)

I’ve combed my hands in Snow’s hair now, feeling his curls between my fingers and trying to get distracted by them— it’s working splendidly. (I hope Snow wouldn’t mind me ruining all his hard work with the hair, I’ll spell it for him later or use my product instead. What would Snow prefer? Did my magic repulse him yesterday?)

I’m kissing his lips because I’m allowed to. Because Snow _wants_ me to. Sure seems that way at least, unless I’m misreading _again_.

I need to shut off my brain completely, that’s what I really need! Is there a way to do it? 

Surely if Snow fucked me, that would have helped a lot. You could say it’s for _medicinal_ reasons. If I propose that, will Snow agree out of humanitarian obligation, a hippocratic oath if you will? (But he isn’t a doctor, so it might not work that way.)

Snow’s lips are helping already. They are soft and warm against mine and they make me feel _alive._

Suddenly, he breaks our kiss and I start to worry if perhaps my gasping was too much, but instead of putting me down and leaving, Snow starts kissing my jaw and trails kisses down my neck.

Simon is kissing my neck and I could die right now as happy as I’ll _ever_ be. (Just to clarify, I don’t want to die, I want to enjoy _him_ for the rest of my life.)

 _“Simon…”_ I moan and hear his breath hitch. Is it a good hitch or a bad one? I don’t need to wonder for long, Snow finds my lips and kisses me senseless before returning to my neck, both kissing and licking it this time while still fucking me through our trousers. (Simon growls and curses a _lot_ , also like a Normal. I like where this is going.)

Yes, I was wrong once again regarding what is the best thing he has done to me thus far. 

_This is even better._ Snow is burning me alive with his cock (and it’s not even inside me yet.) I hear him growl ” _Fuck…_ ” again and again against my neck and that just keeps fueling the _fire_...

I always said this will end in flames. I just never could’ve guessed this was the fire that was installed for me. I need _more_ , more of Snow, more of his lips and his cock, the only thing I need far less is clothing...

Snow’s cock and the scent of his precome and my cock pressed tight against his stomach, moving together with his thrusts have taken over my whole world. 

I’ve been ready to come for so long I can hardly function. I was forced to think about dead rat carcasses at the catacombs for a while, just so I wouldn’t explode. (Yes it’s disgusting, but I’m not sure if Snow would appreciate my come. Snow might not be ready for that _yet_.) 

But I had no other choice. I don’t have the same endurance as Snow. He’s been in a relationship for three years, must have been having lots of sex. Especially during all the winter breaks they spent together. (Not that I want to imagine _that._ )

I just mean that he is experienced and that’s what I would have been doing with Simon if I ever got the chance — constantly having sex with him.

I myself want Snow to come. I wonder if he will? (It did sound as if he was close a few times, but nothing thus far.) I would love for him to explode right this moment against _my_ _arse_. 

That would be quite the validation for my arse, but that’s not my main reason at all. What I truly care about is that I’ll have an excuse to take his trousers off and _lick_ _his_ _cock_. 

And it wouldn’t seem as I’m being needy for his cock or his come, no it would be a _natural_ reaction to things… Snow will be none the wiser.

Can’t he do us both a favour and come already? Snow will feel better. (It’s not just about my needs, I want Simon to enjoy himself just as much if not more.)

# SIMON

All those pretty noises escaping Baz’s lips are fueling my cock to go faster and harder… And the feel of Baz’s cock against my stomach is driving me into oblivion. 

I want to fuck Baz so very _very_ much right now and also take hold of his cock at the same time, I feel ready to explode.

I can’t do that, it would be humiliating. Baz might think less of me for that. He might not want me anymore if I keep coming way too fast.

 _”Fuck…_ ” I just can’t make myself shut up, can I?

Even if I don’t want to, I seem to have to resolve to my old tricks.

_Penny is reading from a boring book to me._

I don’t feel great about doing this both because I want to concentrate on Baz and also because Penny is my best friend. I’m really not trying to say that she isn’t attractive. It’s just well Penny isn’t a bloke and nobody was shocked more than _me_ to find out that a bloke is what takes to get me going. 

But I do feel calmer now, good.

But then Baz goes and starts to mess with my hair and well that feels just incredible, his elegant slender fingers going through my curls… I never knew it could feel good to have your hair touched in this manner. I only ever tagged on my hair out of frustration and nerves... 

This... This is so much better because it’s _Baz’s_ fingers. They are so sexy. And Baz wants to touch me with his sexy fingers. 

( _I want him to touch me everywhere._ )

” _Christ..._ ” I growl _again_ because Baz is touching my hair and his arse feels so good against my aching cock.

Fucking hell! Penny is reading from a boring book to me.

Okay… I’m better now…

I can keep going for a little longer. (I have realized that hoping for a better endurance isn’t in the cards for me.) I’m kissing Baz’s neck and it feels amazing. Baz’s neck is so lovely. Baz is lovely and _so_ pretty and _so_ hot. He must enjoy all of this, because not only is he constantly moaning and gasping, but each time I open my eyes to glance at him, his eyes are closed and he looks very satisfied. (I hope I’m the reason for that.)

I want to kiss his eyelids but I’m worried he will think it’s creepy. Am I creepy? Sometimes I’m not sure anymore, not where Baz is concerned.

_Where does the line go exactly between madly in love and just plain mad?_

Kissing Baz’s neck makes me lightheaded and my eyes close again despite me wanting desperately to see all of him. His skin tastes so _heavenly_ , I want to kiss his neck forever. It’s so much more than I could have imagined. (And let me tell you, I’ve imagined a _lot_ when it comes to Baz and me.)

I also want to give him a hint about the biting. Should I lick his neck? I’m sure it’s not too subtle.

That’s when I hear him moan, “ _Simon…_ ”

When Baz uses my first name, something in me turns my stomach upside down. It means Baz really likes me, I kiss him in gratitude because I can’t help myself. I want him to call me _Simon_ all the time so I can be sure that he fancies me. 

Baz captures my lips as though he _really_ wants them and I wonder if it’s true? Is it only me that Baz wants and not all those other people fawning over him, _including_ Niall? (I need to find out Niall’s address as soon as possible and threaten him so he keeps his hands _off_ Baz.)

But then I miss Baz’s neck again and start kissing it and also licking. Because I really _need_ to lick Baz and I’m being bold here. (And well to give Baz a hint about the biting too.)

Baz’s skin smells like cedar and bergamot from his soap (that’s what it is according to Penny) and also _Baz_ himself and the combination is a mixture of heaven and hell I guess. Because it’s heavenly to inhale and to taste but it’s making my head spin and I keep losing control. I almost suggested to take it to the bedroom. (That’s how good Baz smells and tastes!) 

But I don't want to push him. Instead I try and concentrate on what I can do to Baz here and now. And there are things to choose from — to keep kissing and licking his neck, kissing his lips and sucking on his lip… 

_Merlin_. It’s hard to know what to do to Baz with so many options. ( _Hard_ in more ways than one.) I think I should really point out that whatever those choices might be, there has been one constant that is not up for debate. Yes, you are right in assuming that I’m talking about Baz’s arse. (Let’s face it, I’m _always_ talking about his arse.)

I’ve been thrusting my rockhard cock against Baz’s arse for a while now and I seem to be on the brink of coming again. That doesn’t surprise me at all, because this is Baz’s arse we’re talking about here. I get to touch it with my cock, even though all the layers of fabric. It’s just like yesterday but _better_. 

Yesterday was for only a second and by accident, but now we _both_ want it, not one sided anymore. 

_I’m slamming my cock right into Baz’s arse and I’m getting so close._

” _Oh… fuck…_ ”

Penny is reading to me from a boring book.

” _Fuck…_ ” Why can’t I control myself?

Penny is reading to me from a boring book.

 _Not enough!_ Why are Baz and his arse _so_ hot? 

Penny is reading to me from a boring book.

_Fucking hell!_

”Fuck…” Baz’s arse should come with a _warning_ label because this isn’t fair.

Penny is reading to me from a boring book _and_ someone is saying that the world will ban butter and force everyone to eat margarine. 

_Finally!_ (That last part about margarine was almost _too_ much, I don’t want to get nightmares later tonight.)

 _Jesus fucking Christ._ This doesn't feel right at all. But what shall I do? Should I maybe bring the problem up with Baz at some point today? He’s a bloke too and even if he has a perfect sexual endurance, doesn’t mean he won’t be understanding to my struggles, does it?

When exactly would it be appropriate to discuss my lack of stamina with _Baz_? And what will happen if he asks me how I’ve been managing so far? How much can I tell him without making him think I’m a total freak? Is it unnatural or do all blokes do it? Has Baz ever had to do it himself? 

There’s nothing really to think about, I _need_ his help. 

He is clearly an expert in endurance. He hasn’t come yet, even though I have been moving so much, there must be a constant friction on _his_ _cock…_ How does Baz do it and could he share his secret with me? (I’ve wank three times this morning already, shouldn’t that have helped?)

I want to only think about Baz during this intimate time. About kissing _him_ and licking _his_ arse and cock. 

In truth, I want to lick him _everywhere_. Will I get to do it soon? Or will it be going too fast? Maybe Baz doesn’t want more or he thinks that I’m rushing him.

I just hope he understands that I’m not only interested in his arse and his neck and his lips. I’m interested in him in every way. Should I tell him that? I have been assuming Baz understands everything I feel. But could it be I’m not as easy to read as I think I am? Am I not keeping up with what Baz knows and doesn’t know? He’s _so_ smart, he must know _everything_.

I don’t think I’m hard to read at all. But it is probably better to be safe than sorry. Unless Baz will think I’m an idiot for explaining the obvious to him. 

How does Penny call it again? Mansplaining, that’s the word. It’s when a bloke tells someone what that person already knows. Will I be mansplaining to Baz my feelings for him? Will he get offended by that? Penny says mansplaining is very offensive.

I really don’t want to offend Baz in any way. I want him to like me and fall in love with me if that’s even possible. I also want to make him happy. How can I go about making him happy exactly? Is there a secret way to do it that I can figure out? Because making him happy might be a sure way to get Baz to fall in love with me.

But what if Baz doesn’t know how I feel about him? Lately I have been having issues with what is the right course of action where Baz is concerned. And if I happen to tell him things he already knows, maybe Baz can just thinks that I’m _thick,_ which I am. 

_Does Baz already suspect how thick I am?_

I think I’m also stupid when it comes to Baz. And that isn’t because I’m normaly stupid. I’ve been suspecting now for a few days that I lack any brain capacity because all the blood goes to my cock when I’m around Baz. I think it’s been like that for years, I just haven’t noticed it before. Was too busy feeling frustrated and growling at Baz. I’m growling now too, but in a slightly different way. Or maybe it’s the same way, I can’t tell. What I can tell is that it feels _amazing._

I would prefer to growl in Baz’s mouth while I’m filling his perfect arse with my rock hard cock and making him gasp even more than he does now. That’s where my goal lies, to make him gasp and moan more and _louder_. The louder he gets the better everything feels for me or for him I’m guessing. (I want Baz to feel good.) His voice is so sexy and it’s also as if Baz is cheering me on and letting me know if I’m doing something right or wrong, a personal guide to _sex_.

I think I still am going to tell Baz how I feel about him, just in case. 

# BAZ

We pull apart after what feels like an honest to goodness eternity. It’s been an hour, I was keeping tabs (when I managed to force myself to open my eyes, it was hard due to sheer happiness and pleasure I’ve been subjected to by Simon), on the clock hanging opposite of me and trying to calculate what amount of time might mean that Snow likes me at least a little.

Snow says, “I still want to go on a date with you, Baz. It’s not just about… snogging and stuff...” He trails off and blushes _again_. I’m surprised I can even see the blush. 

His tawny skin has been flaring up through his whole body (I’m just assuming, I can only see what’s not covered with his clothing.) I have a strong suspicion that is due to _arousal_. 

The reason I’m this bold with assumptions is that I can clearly smell Snow’s precome, he’s been leaking delicious precome for an hour without any possibility for me to sample, and let me tell you my mouth has been watering ever since. I had to keep swallowing through the snogging as not to drool. (Unfortunately, despite all the precome and the growling and cursing, Snow never came.)

I was worried about his intentions towards me, _constantly._ I worry about that all the time. If he, in reality, doesn’t want to go on a date with me and somehow I misheard him _both_ times he asked. (That would have been possible and also made a lot of sense.) 

I have no idea what he thinks and wants. Snow has been playing his hand too close for me to be able to guess anything about any intentions he might have.

That is why I’m so grateful to Simon for finally giving me a _small_ glimpse into his mind since this whole experience of not knowing and overthinking and the constant guessing, has been _pure_ hell for me.

I know what he means with that statement but under normal circumstances, I would have wholeheartedly believed that this is definitely something my own brain cooked up. My brain has been playing games with me lately, or maybe it’s Snow. Something or _someone_ has been playing games with me and my grasp on reality has been wavering...

However, I understand that this must be real and not a madness induced hallucination. Because trust me, even my brain couldn’t have conjured a more unbelievable fantasy — _Snow brushed his hair._ _(It must be real.)_

I was convinced that he only wanted to get off a few more times (at best) before he found someone else for casual sex or fall in love with someone and no longer required my services. 

But Simon Snow wants to go on a date with me _._ I know of course that I will have to compete with what must be _dozens_ of other people for his attention but I think I’m up for the challenge. Snow seems to be very partial to _my derrière_. 

Years of showing off to him during my football practices are finally paying off. I never cared that much about football if I have to be completely honest. But he came to every practice and every game and I was _desperate_ for him to notice me. 

I went about it all wrong though. I was trying to dazzle Snow with my skill and looked at him every time I scored a goal to try and coux a reaction out of him. (I never did, Snow was always flushed from the chilly air but he never blushed or smiled at me.) What I should have been concentrating on instead was wearing a much tighter gear, especially on my arse.

Besides, that’s not the main reason for my sudden positivity. I’m not that naive to believe that my arse alone will do the job of binding Simon to me and making him choose _me_ above everyone else.

 _No_ , I’m planning to chase all the other suitors away. I haven’t said anything about playing fair. I never cheated during football but all is fair in love and war. 

I'm waging a war against every person Simon has thought of dating this summer because I love him. (Is it creepy and disturbed and borderline criminal behaviour that Snow should never find out about — _absolutely_. Will I still do it? Have you met me? And if you have, do you _really_ have to ask?)

“What did you have in mind?” I ask Snow as if I actually care. I would go anywhere Snow wants me to. I’ll sit on the side of the road if he calls it a _date_. 

Snow blushes again. But I’m not afraid of his blush anymore. I’m enjoying looking at it. I’m also contemplating when it might be a good time to _lick_ it. (Perhaps later, not while he’s speaking. I don’t want to interrupt.)

“I was thinking minigolf or maybe the movies if you’d like that better?” Snow says and looks shy, the imbecile. I would never say no to him, even if my life depended on it — I’ll rather die. How is Snow such a moron and not getting it?

That sounds like a genuine date destination, a place you bring someone you fancy to. (I think.) (I know fuck all about dates. I’ve never been on one.)

“Minigolf, that’ll do,” I tell him as nonchalantly as possible, so as not to scare him away with my overeagerness. I’m blushing and smiling and my lips are swollen from Snow kissing them for an hour, I highly doubt I look anywhere near nonchalant. I look in love and I am.

That’s how strong Simon Snow is. He’s been holding me up for an hour without breaking a sweat. Talk about _impressive_ stamina. 

Snow is still holding me up against the door, but not dry humping anymore. And I would have thought it was Snow’s not so subtle way of saying that he doesn’t want to fuck me, but I think this turn of events might be because Snow wanted to say something, talk about date destinations to be precise. 

_See_ , I don’t always overthink. 

Do I care that I look less than composed during this conversation you ask? Not even in the slightest because Simon’s response to my embarrassed state is a wide grin and another expert kiss or two or three... 

(During this conversation Snow’s hands and his cock never swayed from my arse _either_. He was practically propping my arse up with his cock.)

I can’t help but wonder what else he has in store for me? Will he want to do more to me and what exactly would it be? I’m down for anything where Snow is concerned.

Does this new development of dating mean I’m allowed to do _more_ to Snow? What can I do to him? I want to get to his magnificent cock again without any garments in the way and I want to use my mouth _this_ time… Fuck! There is a next time. And I was so worried when I wanked completely naked in front of Snow for the first time that there might not be one... 

Simon Snow has been proving me wrong this whole week! (This is one of those times I prefer being _wrong._ )

Will he be alright with me taking him in my mouth? And could I lick him somewhere, _anywhere_ really…

Snow licked my neck, it’ll be only fair to let me lick something in return... 

For example his moles or his cock or his blush. Well his whole body would be ever better… We aren’t in a hurry. It’s not even midday yet. I should google minigolf’s closing time. (We might have a few hours on our hands, at the very least.) 

_Yes_ , I still want to go to minigolf, not because I want to play or even know how to, or because I want to leave the comfort of my own home where I have a chance to finally get Snow naked. 

No, it’s because _Simon_ suggested it. He wants to be seen with me in public, on a _date_. What else could I ask for?

Meanwhile, wouldn’t it be prudent to offer him some food and drink as a good host would? I’m all about hospitality, _clearly_. 

Fine, I want to keep him satisfied and well, _hydrated…_ Just in case more acrobatic situations should occur. _Yes_ , there are clearly more things I can ask for when it comes to Simon Snow. 

I would also want him to be in love with me, but one step at a time. (Look at that, Snow turned me into a _real_ optimist.)

There are other things as well, I want to ask for, mostly _sexual._

For example, Snow could fuck me against the wall. He has quite the upper body strength for it…

Unfortunately, Vera will be here soon. And then I remembered the flowers. (How could I have forgotten? Simon hasn’t fucked my brain out yet…) The bouquet is lying unceremoniously on the floor below us. I can’t let them be ruined. I will preserve them forever and keep them in my room. 

I wonder if we could use this bouquet as a centrepiece for our wedding? But then it might clash with whatever Daphne would choose. (Perhaps I should discuss the subject of wedding decor with her later?)

We can put a pin in that for now. Simon and I haven’t even been on one date yet. And there are all those other suitors I have to take care of.

How should I go about doing that exactly? I need a good plan with no risk of Snow ever finding out about anything.

_You can do it, Basilton!_

And I can. I’m very smart where Simon Snow _isn’t_ concerned. I’ll find a way to separate my emotions from this and approach the situation with sober realism and a cool mind. 

Should I google how to get rid of one’s enemies just in case my head isn't as cool and composed as I hope it to be? Two heads are better than one. (Internet is surely less disturbed than me.) I need a few top notch suggestions, internet did help me a lot with the flirting. 

You could say I have Google to thank for this incredible opportunity to get within touching distance of Snow and being able to touch too. Well, Google _and_ my dildo. 

The dildo might have done the trick. I got to snog Snow _after_ he saw me fuck myself with the dildo. (It appears to be connected.)

# SIMON

I needn't have worried. Baz loved my minigolf idea. It’s because he is competitive and is crazy about sports. Does minigolf qualify as a sport? 

Doesn’t matter. Baz wants to play and that’s what’s important here. He seemed very excited, he was smiling and blushing in anticipation of the game. He probably thinks he’s going to win. And he will. (I’m going to let him win so he’ll let me suck his cock afterwards somewhere behind the tree.)

I had to stop kissing Baz’s neck and his lips in order to have this conversation about my intentions towards him. That was hard to do because I never want to stop kissing Baz unless it’s to suck or lick something of his, _anything_ really… I was still holding him up because there is no chance in hell I'll ever let go of his arse if I can help it.

However, I’m glad I did. Now I know Baz understood me this time, that I fancy him a lot. He didn’t get offended for me mansplaining my feelings to him either. Maybe Penny was _wrong_. Or could it be he didn’t know how much I care about him despite _all_ the signals I’ve been sending? 

I’m still a bit confused on _that_ subject. How much does Baz know about me being in love with him exactly?

_Baz and I are snogging again and I'm back to thrusting into his arse._

Merlin... This day can't get better than this.

However, I wonder if the date goes well, maybe Baz lets me do more to him and also if he is at all interested in biting me. I need to know!

I have been leaving _not_ so subtle hints since I got here, he must know by now that I want him to. 

  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

# BAZ

We end up snogging and continue fucking through our trousers some more. I could go as far as to say that Simon might be into it, his movements towards me as smooth as if he’s doing them involuntarily.

_It’s the most luxurious experience of my life._

_Aleister fucking Crowley._ Everything inside me is smouldering. Not only due to my body being very warm under Snow’s touch. (I’ve never felt _this_ warm even after a hot shower, I’m almost feverish.) Or the rich aroma of his precome that enchants me and invites me to lick. (It’s a struggle not to go after his cock.)

In addition to that, he is very vocal. The constant growling is putting my cock ablaze and making me weak at the knees. 

Snow could seduce me and make me come with his moans alone.

I will go on a limb here and say that perhaps he himself feels at least partly the same. During one of the thrusts he growls ” _Fuck…_ ” and bites me on the neck. I almost come right then and there. ” _Oh… Simon…”_ escapes my lips and I don’t even feel embarrassed. 

_Snow was biting, licking and kissing my neck!_

I think he might’ve cured me of any negative residual feelings I’ve been carrying around when it comes to my neck and biting.

Nobody ever touched me there like _that_.

Is Snow desperate for me? I don’t think so, rather for sex in general and I take it. I take _anything_ he’s offering. (When will Snow offer me his cock?)

The fact that I managed to abstain from coming is the less than enjoyable images I constantly have to cast in my mind. 

Furthermore, it’s due to years of practice spend around Snow, watching him sleep and _without_ touching myself in bed. 

I was worried he might wake up and stab me with his sword. 

_Crowley_. Now a different kind of blade, a _sabre_ really, is flickering through my mind and I can’t stop imagining what Simon can do to me with his big majestic claymore. 

Where will he stick it? In which hole? Snow can do both, promptly. He can take me however he wants me. Snow can lay me down on the floor and fuck my brains out. I think that would be very beneficial for my mental health. My mind hasn’t been my friend lately. Snow has to shag me. That’s psychiatry 101.

_It would be mercy shagging._

Where was I? Oh _yes…_ I never wanked in bed at Watford, I saved myself for the shower in the ensuite thinking about his blue eyes, tawny skin, his moles and freckles and everything I wanted to do to him. (Those were very long showers indeed.)

I may have digressed from my original train of thought. That’s what happens when I start contemplating about Snow’s impressive chopper and what it can do to me. I step on that landmine all by my lonesome. At the same time, it’s Snow’s fault for having a godlike cock. (I have no intentions of taking _all_ the blame for this.)

I can’t help but wonder if there’s something in his background that isn’t strictly human. Nobody knows where Snow came from. We can’t know for sure Greek gods weren’t real. 

Not even magicians know _everything_. 

You might want to know why I went with Greek gods in particular. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to discriminate against other gods. I compare him to Hercules, that’s Greek mythology. 

However, now that I think about, Simon keeps burning me both with fire _and_ lightning. That sounds suspiciously like Thor. And well, he may not have a hammer in his arsenal of tools although it sure feels like one while he’s slamming his cock against my rear end. 

A very impressive sized _mallet_. 

Crowley, yes... That does make a lot of sense. Simon Snow might be at least part god and I will worship him and his _weapon_ for the rest of my life if he ever lets me.

Still, if I have to be completely serious here, Simon is doing something unexplainable to my body. It’s not just arousal and euphoria of the kissing and touching. 

If I didn’t know any better, I would have said it to be something _magickal_ … Which makes no sense. That’s not how magic works.

When I call Snow by his first name, he stops doing whatever it is he was going (it usually involves doing something to my neck) and snogs me. 

When Simon kisses me like that, deep, passionate yet tender, it feels as if he _cares_ for me. 

Snow isn’t in love with me, I know that. I let myself imagine he will be one day. I let myself enjoy the fantasy and feel it all the way to my core _and_ my cock. (My cock is quite the romantic as it turns out.)

Snow and I haven’t even been on a date yet. 

This isn’t a done deal, it’s only a beginning, a chance for me to get him. And that’s if I’m enough. I’m only one of the many people Snow is going on dates with this summer. (Not yet, but he did ask me out today.)

That’s a development I’d never have believed possible. I couldn’t be happier. 

Except Snow can still leave me. My chances to keep Simon are much bigger if I manage to get him away from all those other suitors.

Perhaps a more hands on approach should be used? 

I could try and bribe them. I’d ask my Father for money, I wonder if he’ll approve. 

This might look as if I’m trying to buy Snow, I am not, but many people are shallow. And I lack any intimidation skills at all. It’s not like I can frighten them to stay away from Simon. I myself wouldn’t have left him for all the money or threats in the world. 

You’d have to pry Simon away from my cold and fully dead hand in order for that to happen. (I will _literally_ cling to him day and night if I am ever allowed to.)

 _Oh_ , wait. I’m a vampire. When I’m with Simon, warm and satisfied, I manage somehow to forget about _that_ , he makes me feel like a real boy. 

I am indeed a creature of the night. This means I could use my fangs to scare them all away. Perfect! (Threats are much more effective long term than bribery is.)

People are scared of vampires. Simon seems not to, that’s because he's very brave. Most people aren't. 

During this second heat of the moment, I forgot about the flowers _again_. I have always praised myself on having impeccable memory alongside impeccable composure. Snow has shattered _both_. (I don’t think I mind, that’s how weak I am for him.)

# SIMON

Baz is so hot and beautiful. I want to touch him all the time. It’s all I want and fuck him of course. (That’s included in the touching.)

We’re snogging against the door and my cock is on the brink of exploding so often, that it goes beyond often to _constantly_ instead. I’m thrusting into him and I can’t stop myself if I tried. 

All I can think about is how I need better access to Baz’s behind. 

I wonder if that’s why I’ve been thinking ”prat” and ”Baz” in the same sentence for years? (Makes sense, it was my _subconscious_ trying to tell me things.)

I also called Baz ”wanker” and clearly, this week proved that he is indeed wanking a lot, and so am I. (Merlin… Am I _psychic_?)

I’m thinking I _need_ my cock inside Baz’s arse, how I might die if that doesn’t happen in the immediate future. (Could I actually die? It sure feels that way, or at least explode in some way.)

” _Fuck…_ ” I growl in his neck and I bite it, not because I wanted to hint to anything because that’s how desperate I am.

For a second I’m worried that Baz might not like it, biting on the neck, since that’s how he became a vampire I’m guessing. Instead, I hear him gasp ” _Oh…_ Simon…” with pleasure and I almost come. 

_Jesus fucking Christ._ Baz is so hot. I have to kiss him.

Baz is licking in my mouth, groans fly right out of me and I’m thrusting harder and faster in his arse. Is Baz doing it on purpose? Does he want me to lose control? 

And now I have to kiss his neck again. How am I to decide what to kiss when there are all these _options_?

I feel like everything is burning or if I am hit by lightning. Something is happening. I’ve been feeling that already at the bakery when I handed Baz’s the scones and our fingers touched. It’s strong and electric. It feels _magickal_...

”Simon,” Baz calls out and, well, once I hear the magic word of my name from his lips I have to kiss him because I feel so grateful to Baz for showing interest in me. 

My mouth relocates from his neck to his lips and I kiss him as deep and thorough as I can. Baz always responds enthusiastically to the snogging, and I’m just hoping it’s because he likes to snog _me_ specifically. His tongue feels so right mingled against mine. 

Were our tongues created for each other? Any other additional body parts?

I’m noticing that I keep bringing up body parts, mostly Baz’s. I don’t want to collect them on a shelf or in a drawer as a serial killer might, I want to enjoy them still connected to Baz’s body, even his bottom. It has to stay on Baz. That’s why it works the way it does because it’s _his_ arse and its attached to _him_. 

That’s what makes that arse _this_ hot!

Kissing Baz is always incredible, kissing Baz when he calls me by my first name is heavenly.

I don’t know how to explain it. It’s brilliant is what it is. Baz seems happy. I think that’s the explanation. When we pull apart it’s because we’re both _breathless_. 

I think Baz was trying to tell me something because it wasn’t a moan of my name before.

“ _Yes_?” I ask. It might not have been polite to interrupt Baz with snogging. (I hope he doesn’t mind.)

”We should get some juice from the kitchen,” I hear him whispering against my lips. 

The thing is, normally I wouldn't have wanted to let go of Baz, but I might _need_ it. Getting some juice sounded like the right thing to do before I faint and we both fall to the floor.

I’m feeling lightheaded from the arousal, Baz’s skin in combination with his hard cock pressed tightly against my stomach that I want to suck so bad and his arse I thrusting in and also need to lick and to fuck... 

You know what, how about I just say from _Baz_. I’m feeling lightheaded from Baz and _everything_ that is him and everything that I want to do to him. 

” _Yeah…_ We should,” I answer and my voice sounds hoarse. I’ve been growling a lot, I might need something down my throat beside Baz’s cock. 

I wonder if his come will have a soothing effect on my throat? 

Baz is a healthy gulp of freshness for my soul, (is that how the saying goes, I’m always having troubles with those), his come might be a healthy gulp of refreshment for my throat. 

The logic on this is foolproof. It might be better than juice and satisfy _all_ my needs.

I don’t suggest that because it seems coming on too strong.

Baz raises his sexy eyebrow at me, ”You need to let go of me first, Snow.” 

I don’t want to let go of Baz. But we have to separate our bodies in order to get to the kitchen. 

” _Yeah…_ sorry _,_ ” I say and release his arse. ( _It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life._ )

I would have carried Baz but I don’t actually know where the kitchen is exactly, because I only observed his house from the outside. (Okay, that part I know for sure sounded _creepy_.)

What I’m trying to say is I just gained access to Baz’s rear end, I’m very determined to keep going. (It’d be a waste not to. And I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible for me not to.)

This is my wildest dreams come true, one of them, the one regarding Baz’s bum and more of a first step towards the goal of my tongue and cock inside his sexy arse. Baz’s arse is so pretty and I _need_ to fill it with my cock.

If Baz thinks I’m ever letting go of his arse, he’s wrong. I like Baz’s arse like this. Under my hands. On top of my cock. Not off walking half step in front of me, taunting me with its perfection and making me stumble. 

I’ve got you now, I think. I’ve finally got you where I want you. (Yes, I’m talking to Baz’s behind _directly_.) I’m not sure if Baz and I are in a relationship (I think we are) but I have a sneaking suspicion that Baz’s arse and my cock definitely are. It’s long distant for now. Hopefully, the wait won’t be too long.

# BAZ

The walk to the kitchen seems extremely long. It has nothing to do with the square meters and everything with Snow keeping his hand constantly on the small of my back and sliding it down towards my behind. 

”Baz?” Snow says and looks up at me. I know what he wants (I think), I'm still not going to rush him. (I might also be mistaken.)

”Yes?” I ask and hold his gaze. 

# SIMON

Baz looks so hot when his eyes bore into mine. Baz always looks hot and when he’s looking like that, it’s mindblowing.

”Are we in a hurry?” I ask because my hand finds its way to Baz’s arse all on its own and now we are turned towards each other (I did that) and I want to snog him again.

# BAZ

”Not particularly, unless you’re excessively _hard_ for something,” I retort and can’t believe I just said that.

Snow swallows and tilts his head up towards me almost carefully. 

_I’m not a gazelle, Snow!_

He isn't going to startle me. (Snow is the one getting into my trap not the other way around.)

He’d be a majestic bear, powerful, muscular and wild. Could Snow tear me apart with his teeth? (My clothes that is, besides I wouldn’t mind an occasional bite or two.)

# SIMON

I’m really not good at reading signs. Baz is pressed against me now, one hand on my chest, another holding on to the flowers and chocolates. He seems to be holding very tight to them. Does it mean I was lucky and got his favourite kind? 

I meant chocolate. But now I wonder if Baz might have a favourite kind of wedding flowers? Have other people been giving him those?

Who are they? _I’m going to kill them all!_

I think Baz is being suggestive. And during earlier occasions, I doubted it, I don’t think I should this time. That’s why I go for the kiss, slowly enough so as not to be too forward. 

Penny says I’m very pushy and I’ve been desperately trying not to be with Baz. Then I wonder if I’m not being forward enough _instead_?

Isn't it better like that, instead of me just taking what I want and not thinking about his feelings? I don’t want Baz to be uncomfortable around me. I don’t have a reputation for being gentle. I’ve known for brute force, I’m the nuclear option. I don’t want that with Baz.

I needn’t have worried, Baz meets me halfway. He lowers his head and captures my lips with his. I missed his lips already. (I also missed feeling his hard cock against me.)

# BAZ

Every time Snow’s hand wanders down my derrière grabbing a handful, we’re forced to take a break from walking. Snow pins me to the nearest wall or any hard surface really and ravishes me. (Well as much as it was possible with us still being dressed. However, there’s a lot of grinding involved.) 

I manage not to drop the flowers and chocolate, however difficult it might be. Simon gave them to me as a gift. 

I’m bold enough to let my lips wander down to Snow’s jaw and kiss his neck. I kiss two moles below his left ear and flick my tongue over them and it’s simply _phenomenal_. 

_It’s my teenage fantasies coming to life._

” _Christ_ … _Baz..._ ” Snow moans and my cock is responding with celebratory twitch. Snow only curses like Normal when he’s about to lose control, usually right before he punches me. As of today, it means his grip on my arse tightens and Snow either thrusts or grinds _harder_. (I’m trying to get him to burn through our trousers with his cock. If anyone could accomplish that, it’ll be Snow.)

Snow also moaned _my_ name. He’s been dropping it more often. It means Snow remembers it’s me. (I’m still worried he forgets and imagines someone else.)

That goes straight to my heart _and_ my cock. (I’m so desperate for any sign that there’s a future for us, that he could ever love me.)

Aleister _Crowley_. It’s quite a journey to the kitchen, filled with love, lust and hope. 

I want to kiss and lick the constellation of moles that scutter Simon’s skin, still, I don’t want to overstep. I settle for his neck only. (Will there be time for more?)

I need to lick even more of him. I always was kin to do so of course. Now I know how good it feels and also what kind of noises Simon makes when I lick him. 

Those noises alone could have made me come. Simon appears to like my lips on his skin or perhaps just lips on his skin in general. (I’m not letting this get to my head.)

I’m alternating between kissing and licking Snow’s neck. His gasps force me to think about dead rats again which is disgusting. That isn’t even the problem. The problem is that thinking about dead rats while licking on Snow’s neck… 

Well, what can I say, my brain put two and two together rather quickly and all I can think about is how much I want to bite him. His blood is throbbing in my head and throat, calling for me, enticing me. 

_Simon Snow’s blood is putting me under a vampire thrall._

I will never bite him. Simon will leave me right after he kills me. Yes, it’s the first option that is more terrifying than the second. I never want him to leave me. 

I’m combing my fingers through his curls to mentally study myself and it helps. Meanwhile, the moans Snow is letting out almost makes me pull his trousers down and get on my knees right there in the foyer. 

_I want to do very vulgar things to Snow._

I don’t of course. I don’t want to come on too strong. 

I dare to hope more elaborate snogging is coming when we retire to my bedroom. I’m planning on luring Snow there. I almost feel like a villain leading a virgin to slatter. 

Except I don’t want to kill Snow and I’m the only virgin between the two of us. (I’m constantly trying not to think about it, I’m a bit of a thinker or more of an overthinker to be precise.)

I won’t be for long if Snow decides to deflower me. (I want him to do it so fucking much, both my cock and my arse have been ready for quite some time.)

# SIMON

It’s not easy getting to the kitchen. Merlin, it feels like a fucking maze. Because as I try to walk, I end up groping Baz’s backside. He doesn’t seem to mind at all. If I’m not mistaken and I think I’m not, Baz is very much enjoying himself. (He stayed rock hard through it all.)

I’ve been grinding on Baz constantly. (He’s grinding back on me, this isn’t one sided at all.) 

_Merlin…_ Baz’s hard cock against my lower stomach feels so right. I kept wishing for him to come. Baz is too enduring for that to happen.

There’s more snogging, much more. Baz kisses and licks my neck and it’s fucking incredible! 

I moan, _”Christ… Baz…_ ” and unfortunately think about Penny instead of Baz. I can’t even look at him now. (I want to, really _really_ want to.) I worry I come if I see him. Baz is so sexy and beautiful. And his tongue and lips feel so good on my neck. 

I hope the juice suggestion is also his way of saying that he’s going to bite me and give me juice after like they do at the doctor's office. 

As times goes by and Baz doesn’t bite me I start to wonder. I’m not sure if maybe he isn't interested. If he is a vegetarian or vegan vampire and human blood repulse him or is it just my blood?

_Does my blood repulse Baz?_

I really hope it’s not that. Because I don't think I can change how my blood is. Or is it like with come? It can vary in taste depending on what you eat. I always thought that was a myth. I’m not too great with the game or ”What’s true and what’s a myth” even in the Normal world, not only in the world of Mages.

I hope he’s just not too sure about what I want despite all the hints I’ve been giving. 

Which is strange if you think about it. Baz is the smartest person I know. How could it be that he doesn’t understand what I’m saying? 

Is there a way to be more clear? I thought I couldn’t be more clear than _that_. Maybe after Baz reads the card on the flowers he’ll get it, both my feelings for him and that I want him to bite me.

# BAZ

We are in the kitchen now. It was extremely difficult to detach myself from Snow. By that, I’m trying to say that I didn’t want to and did everything in my power to prevent him from doing the same to me.

I’m fidgeting with the vase now. I couldn’t let Simon’s gift to lose its shape, lying on the floor. (When he finally _finally_ groped me I may have dropped the bouquet and chocolate out of _sheer_ surprise and happiness and then promptly forgot about them.)

The flowers are _beautiful_. 

White Anemones

Vendela Ivory Roses

White Ranunculus

Silver Brunia

Blue Thistle

Dusty Miller

Eucalyptus cinerea, commonly known as Argyle apple.

That last one is poisonous to humans. And it wouldn’t be that farfetched for me to start worrying if Snow by any chance is trying to poison me to death. However, one needs to ingest the flower for the poison to work and it’s not deadly.

Furthermore, I’m a vampire, not a human, there is very little of those plants in the flower arrangement (one wouldn’t even notice them if one wasn’t paying as much attention to every detail as I am) and I somehow doubt that Snow was expecting me to _eat_ the bouquet. 

I don’t think there was any malice intended behind this gesture. This wasn’t Snow’s feeble attempt to kill me. I feel quite confident in that.

The plant also causes contact dermatitis. Again, I am a vampire which makes me immune to all diseases. And besides, a bouquet isn’t supposed to be touched on the petals themselves.

The bottom is tightly bound with a silk band of a lighter shade of grey. I can’t decide if I should leave the band and put it like that in an empty vase or if I should untie the flowers and leave them loose in the water.

What would look better? And more practical in case I decide to pick the bouquet up and pretend to walk down the aisle…

I can pretend walking down the aisle while holding flowers in the vase as well. (It won’t be a bother at all and perhaps less suspicious for Snow than leaving a bridal bouquet bound.)

I think I can finally admit that I know the flowers weren’t meant as a rejection or to rub my face into the fact that Snow doesn’t see me in a romantic way. This was simply a gift before a date. (Do people do that? I would have if I’ve been brave enough to ask Snow out.)

I can’t help but wonder if it was Simon himself who chose these particular colour combination or was it a coincidence, something the florist recommended... I’m puzzled as to why a florist would recommend a bridal bouquet for a date.

The arrangement looks exquisite and all I can think (besides the thoughts of Simon’s hands and cock on my bottom just a few minutes ago and how I miss them already) is how our wedding going to look like.

I’m not going to tell Snow that of course.

I lift the card to read the message, it’s written in Snow’s indecipherable chicken scratch. It means Simon wrote it _himself_. 

I will cherish this card forever and keep it under my pillow during the night. I use a preservation spell on it.

”That’s how I feel about you, Baz.” (Of course, I can read Snow’s handwriting. I may be the only one at Watford who can, I had an important incentive to learn how to — because it’s _Simon_.)

I’m wracking my brain as to the meaning of this note. Is it a riddle? Is this what Normals call a scavenger hunt? 

I turn the card around to see if any additional clues might be revealed.

 _Oh_ , the name of the flower arrangement is written on the back of the card, it’s called ”Twilight”. 

This morning I may have been convinced that the name could only mean that we were at the twilight of our relationship (yes, I mean the casual sex I thought he wanted from me) and this was meant as an elegant rejection. (Snow has been using better manners lately, thus this possibility isn’t as impossible as it sounds.)

However presently, still giddy from all the expert kisses and very persistent dry humping, I’m much more hopeful than that. (You could say Snow snogged me full of hope. I want him to fuck me full of come now.) 

The name of the bouquet might be Snow's way of saying he wants to stay until the sun goes down…

Could he stay until the sun comes up instead? Or even better stay _forever_ …

I cast a preservation spell on the flowers while Snow wasn’t looking. I asked him to get us some juice from the refrigerator. I gather we might need the extra sugar to keep up our energy.

And Simon did look like he was on the brink of losing consciousness. Of course, if he did, I could have taken the opportunity to carry him to my bedroom and magickally seal the door and with that solve problems of unwanted (on my part) suitors. Simon can’t meet up with them if he can’t get out.

At the same time that might not come out as romantic as I intend it to. Instead, I settled to make sure Snow gets some of his energy back and grind on me some more.

I didn’t offer Snow any of the chocolate he gifted me with. It’s because I’m greedy. I should bring some other chocolates with us for Snow to sink his teeth in so he won’t try to go after the ones he got me. (Could Snow sink his teeth in _me_?)

Snow eats constantly. Actually, now that I think about he hasn’t eaten more than normal amount yesterday and I had to bring up the subject of food. And he hasn’t asked for food himself today either. That is _odd_. 

Is he not feeling well?

Does Snow need me to put him in my bed and nurse him to health with sex? I’ll do it gladly. I’m very nurturing as a person. 

What will I be allowed to do to Snow? He did ask me on a date so there should be more options on the table, that's simple logic. I want to taste and suck his cock. I want Snow’s beast to fill my mouth and then fill it again with his come. I want to choke on his cock.

Alright, I don’t actually mean that I want to gag, because I don’t and it’s unattractive and will reveal my inexperience. 

This was more of expression because Simon is very well built and I want him to fill my mouth to the brim.

I can’t wait for it.

# SIMON

I’m a bit confused again. (That’s nothing new really…) Baz doesn’t seem to be allergic to the flowers. He’s holding them and looking at them right now and smiling. Makes me wonder what exactly Baz was allergic to. 

Is it the pollen? Do we have a lot of pollen in England? And does this mean that Baz will be having troubles during our date and should we go to the movies instead? I want to ask him but I really don’t want to point out anything Baz might take offence to. And he did chose minigolf so I guess I just have to go with it. Maybe he has medication he can swallow. 

_Fuck…_ I wish my come was _medicinal_...

I’m also surprised Baz can get allergies. I thought vampires didn’t get sick. (Might be just a myth.)

Baz seems to like flowers which make me very happy. I wonder if it’s because now he knows that I both love him and want him to bite me and he likes the idea of _both_. 

I really hope so.

# BAZ

I do need to feed Snow. The juice isn’t enough. 

”Are you hungry?” I manage to ask somewhere in the midst of all continues groping and snogging.

Snow looks at me dumbstruck.

# SIMON

 _Merlin_. That’s spooky. How did Baz know that I was just thinking about licking him?

Oh, wait. Is it possible that he’s talking about actual food?

# BAZ

”Yeah,” he answers and looks embarrassed, all rosy cheeked. I don’t dare to hope Snow is thinking about something else.

I plan on making roast beef sandwiches for us because I know it’s his favourite meat. I’ve watched Snow devour roast beef for years, wishing he would devour _me_ instead.

# SIMON

”Will roast beef sandwiches suffice?” Baz asks and I’m so happy because he remembered that I told him yesterday that roast beef is my favourite food. 

It means Baz was paying attention to me yesterday, it means he fancies me at least a little.

# BAZ

”Yes, that’ll be great actually,” Snow says and grins at me.

As I suspected, Snow got very excited about roast beef. Maybe I am capable of intelligence around Snow. (At the very least in regard to food.)

# SIMON

”I can help,” I offer because it doesn’t seem fair for Baz to do all the work.

”No need. You’re a guest,” Baz answers and bats my hand away.

”Are you sure?” I press because I don’t want to be a burden. I’m used to helping out, at Penny’s and at Agatha’s.

”I’m far more skilful with my hands than you are, Snow,” he tells me and smirks. 

I’m not sure if this is Baz referring to his way around the kitchen or his way around my cock at the stall yesterday. 

I don’t ask him to clarify because I’m not a complete idiot.

What I do instead is keep Baz company in the only acceptable way— by pressing my whole body to his back and trailing kisses up his neck. (I need constant contact with his arse _and_ his neck.)

I was trying my best not to make it obvious how much I want to touch Baz’s cock.

# BAZ

Snow is helping me make sandwiches. By helping, I mean he’s pressed against my back, both his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. (I stand hunched a bit for that to happen since I’m taller than Snow.) 

His hard cock, tucked safely between the two of us, tightly pressed against me… (It’s a previous instrument that needs to be handled with care.) I want to keep Snow’s cock safe and sound forever. My arse might be the safest place for it or my mouth.

Snow’s hands are so close to my crotch, they are practically _on_ it, moving in circles… There are times I worry the knife might slip or fly away. I have to wield my hands not to shake from excitement and possible anticipation. 

_Does this mean Snow is interested in touching my cock?_

# SIMON

”Shall we? It’s better we head to my room as not to disturb anyone,” Baz says when he’s done. I could melt from listening to his voice. His voice is very pretty. 

Well, everything about Baz is pretty, there are _no_ exceptions. 

I wonder who we might disturb with the house being empty according to Baz but I’m not going to second guess him.

”Do you want me to help you carry anything?” I offer because I want to help. Baz shouldn’t be doing everything himself. He already made the sandwiches without my help.

He looks at me and says, ”I’ve got it, Snow.” A small blush creeps up his cheeks. I’m not sure what’s that about. We’re standing so close and I’ve allowed the touching now so I trance my fingers along Baz’s cheeks and kiss him. 

_I wanted to touch his blush for so long._

Baz places the sandwiches in a sealed plastic tin for some reason, takes another a container of juice, the chocolate I gave him and some other chocolate, biscuits, grabs some cloth napkins from the drawer and puts it all in a picnic hamper. (Baz seems to eat a lot of food. I might have been wrong about him having anorexia.)

“Are we going on a picnic?” I ask and hope I don’t sound disappointed. I thought we were going to his bedroom and I’ve been having a few fantasies about that involving Baz’s cock and my mouth. 

“Oh no, it’s simply easier to carry in a hamper,” Baz answers and _blushes_. I’ve been having trouble understanding his blushes. (Can it be allergies?)

I do kiss Baz on the cheek because he’s so _lovely_ like this and I’m allowed to. I kiss him on the mouth too and he kisses me back.

”Should I at least carry the vase?” I press because I feel very useless not doing anything for Baz when he is taking such good care of me.

Baz holds my hand still, ”No, thank you. We can bring the flowers up later when we eat lunch.” 

_Lunch_? How long are we going to stay here? (Not that I’m complaining about spending more time with Baz.) I’m just worried if he changed his mind about the date.

Baz must notice my hesitation, so he adds with a smirk, ”I need to feed you a real meal before minigolf, Snow. We wouldn't want you to get cranky half through the game, would we now?”

I’m grinning now. Baz still wants to go on a date with me. 

”I will check the closing time when we’re in my room,” he says.

It means that we are going to spend a long time in Baz’s room. I can’t stop grinning.

”Sounds great,” I tell him and I can’t possibly be happier right now.

# BAZ

I knew mentioning lunch would put Snow in a good mood. (He’s practically _beaming_.) I want to keep him here with me for as long as I can.

Snow seems very kin on playing minigolf, must be his competitive hero streak. (Everything is a battlefield for Snow, with him as a soul winner.)

I have to make sure I lose when we play. I don’t mind this kind of cheating if it puts him in an agreeable mood. (I want Snow to stay the night.)

”Follow me, Snow,” I tell him and keep half a step in front of him while I walk. 

I need Snow to maintain a visual with my derrière at all times. My arse seems to be encouraging that overly impressive sized bulge in his trousers and I need to keep it _hard_ for when we are in my room. (I’m hoping Snow will let me suck his magnificent cock after we’re done with sandwiches.)

# SIMON

It’s a struggle to get to his bedroom. Baz is half a step in front of me just like he was at the store. It’s so he can lead the way because I don’t know where his room is. I'm very familiar with how to get to Baz’s room from the outside. (It would probably sound creepy if I said it out loud.)

I’m trying to see where I’m going but all I can think and look at is his rump and my hand is sliding down of its own volition. I’m trying very hard not to grope Baz’s bum, however, it’s physically impossible. (Baz has no idea what his sexy arse is doing to me.)

It takes a few steps and my tongue is down Baz’s throat and my hands squeezing his arse. Baz hasn’t complained yet, which might mean that he doesn’t mind.

# BAZ

I almost dropped our food while on the stairs. 

I have to thank my vampire strength and precision for managing to keep it in my hand and the foresight of carrying everything in a picnic hamper. I’m carrying the hamper myself of course as any hospitable host would. 

_Yes_ , you are as always correct in assuming I needed Snow’s hands free to grope me because I’m in desperate need of more indecent behaviour from him. 

I’m desperate for Snow to explore my arse. He’s used to jumping wholeheartedly and boldly into things and never giving up until he reaches the satisfactory result. Could my rear end be Snow’s next mission?

Unfortunately, I can’t ask him for it right off the bat, I don’t want to come across as needy. (Snow will be repulsed by my desperation.) That’s where the elaborate and diligent _plotting_ comes in.

Snow snogged me after every few steps. I dare to say it might be a good sign. Or is it just one of the randy days for him? Is it how it works? I have no idea, I’m constantly _lustful_ for Snow. 

In my excitement, I forgot to mention that the reason we needed to retire to my bedroom was that Vera will be coming in shortly. But Snow hasn’t questioned it. Does it mean Snow wants to go to my bedroom or is he simply not paying attention to me when I speak?

# SIMON

I’m going to see Baz’s bedroom from the inside. I’m excited and terrified. This is going to be an experience. Penny talked a lot about the places that had deep emotional meaning for people and how those places were considered sacred because of that. 

Well… you can’t get more meaningful than Baz’s room. This is where it all started, where I finally figured out my wants and needs and eventually my feelings towards Baz and his various body parts. (Yes, I am primarily talking about the distraction list with Baz’s magnificent arse on the first place and his beautiful deep grey eyes on the second.) 

_Baz’s bedroom is a sacred place for me._

This is the place where I saw Baz _naked_ doing _so_ many wonderful things to himself. 

I’m trying to concentrate on the decor of the room as not to come right on the spot. (I’m trying not to look at the bed because that will not end well.)

Luckily Baz sat down on the floor on the end of his bed and I don’t have to see the bed while we’re eating.

And now we’re in his bedroom and more things will probably happen between us. Baz doesn’t seem to be in a hurry. He just checked minigolf court closing time. (I knew them by heart already but I didn’t want to ruin it for him.) Which makes me think more is coming, while in Baz’s bedroom. 

That is a big step from yesterday, even if Baz had his hand on my cock then. This somehow seems _more_. Don’t get me wrong, I loved having Baz’s hand on my cock. (I’ve been wanking to the memories of that half the night and three times this morning.)

Baz had been allowed to do anything he wanted to me, how much he wanted to. I didn’t know what was okay for me to do to _him_...

Baz invited me into his home and let me fuck him through our trousers. (Because that’s what it was— _fucking_. I’m pretty sure we both know that. If that wasn’t suggestive, I don’t know what is.) We were grinding earlier too. And well that was amazing. And Baz kissed and licked my _neck_. 

I’m so happy right now. We’re dating now. That’s the biggest change. That’s the crux of this problem. 

I need to tell him about the tree. I wish I had more time but I don’t feel right to keep this a secret while being in his bedroom snogging and maybe more while _dating…_ I have to tell him about the spying and I’m terrified. I have a lot to lose. 

_I have Baz to lose._

  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

# BAZ

I’m done feeding Snow and eating myself. I was constantly aware of my fangs. Will Snow be repulsed if he sees them I wonder? He probably will. I have to make sure I’m hiding them well.

”Care for more juice, Snow?” I offer again because I need to keep Snow hydrated and happy from all the fruit sugar for what I have in mind. (What I have in mind is to suck his cock.)

”Yes, thank you,” Snow answers, and he’s overly eager, even if he is drinking it painfully slow. 

# SIMON

I was planning to tell Baz about the spying as soon as we were done eating (felt wrong to interrupt him during a meal, and also because Baz looked happy). Then I forgot about that completely when he started to distract me with juice.

Baz offered me some _again_ and looks so satisfied when I accepted. He gave me juice earlier when we started with sandwiches and we both drank some, mostly me, since I was still hoping it was a _hint_ about the biting. 

But he still hasn’t bitten me and I was worried again... 

This time however Baz isn’t having any himself. That’s because he’s saving space for my blood. (Baz has _always_ foresight when it comes to every topic. He’s so smart.)

I’m positive this time that Baz is planning on biting me. Who’d need to drink _this_ much juice otherwise? (We already got down a whole container back at the kitchen.) Baz is trying to keep my sugar levels high, I guess.

Baz is being very diligent and thoughtful. I wouldn’t have realised myself that juice needs to be drunk _before_ the biting, not after, probably due to risk of feeling lightheaded. I wouldn’t ever have figured that out on my own. (I’m not very smart and not good with medicine either.)

I almost gulped it all down in one sitting from all the excitement before I remembered how I can’t look disgusting in front of Baz. Instead, I was taking small sized gulps like a normal person. 

This might mean that my blood doesn’t repulse Baz after all. I couldn’t be happier. Where will Baz bite me exactly I wonder… I want him to bite me on my _neck_ , where he kisses me. What will I be allowed to do while Baz is sucking my blood? 

I’m not sure we’re at my cock penetrating Baz’s arse stage _yet_. But surely I could get him off while he’s busy drinking from my neck? And when exactly would we be at penetrating his arse stage? 

I really _need_ to know.

# BAZ

We’re sitting on the floor in front of my bed. I was worried that if we were _on_ my bed instead, I would either blush and get too embarrassed to eat (Snow have seen me do a lot to myself on that bed, fucking myself with a dildo amongst other things) or attack him on the spot. (Attack as in tear Snow’s clothes off and lick his whole body, _not_ as in biting him, I’ll never do that.)

Being here in my bedroom with Snow feels almost _surreal_. This is where I thought my brain made him up. Not only that first day, later as well, when I thought this could not possibly be true — Snow coming back to watch me _wank_. (I still have trouble believing it at times.)

It felt as a madness induced erotic hallucination. The best kind of dreams coming to life inside my awake mind.

Having him in my bedroom now is almost like putting together a far fetched dream with reality. It’s making me giddy. I’m emboldened by the memories we shared here.

We’re still sitting on the floor. I move closer to Snow and kiss him. Simon always meets me halfway, almost as if he’s eager. It gives me both hope that it all means something to him and the sickening feeling of being an imbecile for believing Snow actually cares that it’s _me_ … _my_ lips… _my_ hands…

However, I’m not going to let my brain ruin this experience for me.

Snow wraps his arms around my waist and leans into me. My hands were already around his neck, one going up to his hair. (I’ve noticed Simon likes me touching his hair. I like touching his hair too and it feels wonderful to be able to finally do so.) 

He’s kissing my neck again and I moan a soft ” _Oh… Simon…_ ” both because I can’t help myself and because I want Snow to kiss me as deep as he always does when I use his first name. I’m starting to get addicted to that. 

No, that’s not right. I’ve been addicted since the _first_ time. I’ll do anything to recreate it, to keep it, to keep _him_.

What can I do to keep Snow? What do I have to offer someone as alive and bright as the sun itself? (Snow is also just as hot as the sun in dual meaning of the word and makes me constantly _aroused_.)

# SIMON

Baz kisses me after we were done with sandwiches. I like when he kisses me first. It makes me feel like Baz is choosing me every time he does that. 

His hands are around my neck and I wrap my arms around his waist. Baz is so beautiful. I still can’t believe I get to do all this with him. He is also touching my hair and it feels amazing. I kiss Baz’s neck, I’ve already missed the taste and the scent of his skin on my lips. That’s when I hear him moan, ” _Oh… Simon…_ ” 

_Merlin_ , I can’t help myself, I’m so grateful I am allowed to kiss him, I kiss his lips again. Baz kisses are so enthusiastic, deep and soft. Does it mean he fancies me?

# BAZ

We’re pressed tightly together now. I can feel him through our clothing, still, I need _more_. I place my hand on his chest, Snow isn’t complaining about it. His breath is hitching and I take that as encouragement this time without overthinking and keep kissing him while undoing the first button of his shirt and enjoy the sensation of Simon’s skin under my fingertips. 

There is no better example of perfection than his skin. (Except for Simon _himself_.)

# SIMON

Baz got one button open the one on my collar and I’m getting very hard from anticipation. (Who am I kidding, I’ve been hard this whole time.) He whispers, ” _Simon_?” against my lips just like he did at the stall. 

I really don’t understand how Baz doesn’t know by now that I want him to do _everything_ to me, that nothing is off-limits if it’s him doing it. I’ve made myself very clear on several occasions. 

_I gave Baz a wedding bouquet before our first date._

(You can’t get any more clear than that!)

The problem is that I’ve forgotten to answer because I’m constantly snogging him.

# BAZ

Snow starts to snog me excessively and at first, I think it’s his way of saying that he doesn’t want me to keep going. Which is a somewhat odd way of saying _No_. Eventually I remember of course how Snow always does that whenever I call him by his first name and I try to relax and just enjoy the kiss. (I love his tender passionate kisses, I’ve been trying to get him to kiss me like that just a few moments earlier, however, I have a tendency to worry and overanalyze.)

# SIMON

While snogging Baz, I suddenly remember that was meant as a question and moan ” _Yes_ ” between the kisses, because of course I want him to keep going and he does. Slow and confident at the same time. 

_Oh, Merlin_ , the uncertainty of whether or not Baz is experienced and with whom exactly and where do all those people live has been difficult for me to handle. I’m constantly _jealous_. 

I really hope Baz doesn’t do this with other people while we’re dating. I can’t know for sure and I don't want to ask. (I’d be overstepping.)

# BAZ

I feel more than hear Snow saying ” _Yes”._ I do hear him as well due to me being a vampire. I’m not sure how a human could have picked up anything Snow has to say when he’s talking while snogging. 

(He must be into the kiss just like I presumed. It occurs I may have gained a very optimistic nature all of a sudden, it’s due to Snow of course and it paid off being this forward.)

I continue working my way down with his button up, carefully opening every button. I’ve never done this before, I never undressed someone else, I’m _nervous_ and I’m trying very hard not to show it. (It’s not attractive.)

By the time I’m done with the last button and slide Snow’s shirt off his broad shoulders and muscular arms created to taunt and arouse all queer young men of Britain, Snow’s breathing heavy and is flushed everywhere my eyes can see.

I know it means he’s aroused. I can also see that impressive bulge in his trousers. (I’m trying not to stare.) 

Simon is beautiful when he’s half-naked and aroused. (He’s always _beautiful_.)

I don’t think there’s anything I would rather do right now than suck his cock. I’m excited myself to the point of it being almost painful. (I’m strained against my trousers while there isn’t any friction between us for the moment.)

_Will I get to do it soon, suck Snow’s cock?_

# SIMON

We’re still snogging, nothing else. Yet it feels more intimate this way because it’s Baz’s bedroom and he’s undressing me and much more might happen. 

I’m going to cross a line to something ugly if I don’t tell Baz about the spying _now_.

# BAZ

“ _Baz…_ ” He says, pulls away from my lips, and looks nervous, hardly meeting my eyes.

 _What now?_

Is he trying to end it _already_ ? We haven’t even... Well, I haven’t gotten to have him for as long as I’d like. (What I like is forever, but I will settle for _anything_.)

“ _What_?” I snap even though I don’t want to. Snow is going to break my heart, right here, right now. Snow is holding my hand now and is pressed to me still. 

I untagged myself from him. I can’t be touching Snow while he’s breaking up with me. I might cry. I might cry anyway. It’s a struggle not to. Snow got my hopes up, _again_. Why is it always like this with him?

I was wrong this morning, things could get _worse_. 

_It’s worse now._

Why does Snow have to keep catching me in his spider net of blushes and snogging and then take it all _away_? Is it because he knows he can get whatever he wants from me? (I haven’t been concealing that from him, I should have.)

Is it all a game for him, to see how far he can go before I _break_ completely?

My gaze on Snow doesn’t waver. I won’t give him the satisfaction of looking away. I don’t want him to know that he won, and how deeply he hurt me. At least I’ll have this, the last spark of courage left in me.

This was inevitable, the _rejection_. It was too good to be true. Now Snow can go on that date with the person he originally intended to. (It sure as fuck wasn’t me.)

Snow tried me and I wasn’t up to his standards. It’s not my fault I’m inexperienced. 

_I only ever wanted Simon._

“Well- I don’t know how to say it, it’s just- Well- It’s-” He’s all flustered now and back to stammering.

“Just spit it out _already_ ,” _Crowley_. If Snow is going to break up with me less than three hours after we got together (did we? get together?) I rather prefer for him to do it quickly. 

Like a swift swing of his sword. (I would have preferred him to stab me on the battlefield instead — less cruel that way.)

Snow seems to be on edge.

It must be due to him not feeling comfortable with rejecting me while here alone with me. Where he’ll see me cry and beg him not to leave me. He’d prefer to do it on neutral territory with witnesses around, where I wouldn't cling to him then, so it’s easier to leave and not have to deal with hysterical sobbings of the rejecté. (Isn’t that what people say one should do when dumping someone, get them somewhere where they can’t make a scene? I wasn’t not going to make a scene.)

Snow doesn’t have to worry. I won’t beg. Not because it’s beneath me, because I know it won’t do me any good. Earlier when I thought Snow didn’t know what he wanted _exactly_ , it could have helped to beg then, not now. 

Once Simon Snow has made up his mind, _nothing_ can change it. He’s like a mountain, hard, unmovable and icy. Except Snow is anything but cold. It must be a cruel joke of the universe.

# SIMON

Baz isn’t touching me anymore. Does he suspect that I’m going to tell him something _terrible_ ? Is he already repulsed by me? He’s still looking at me and I can hardly meet his eyes. Baz turned rather pale, well paler really. (He must be extremely _angry_.)

“You’ll think less of me,” I say because it’s true. Baz will probably call me a creep now and throw me (I’m guessing through the window), out right this moment. 

I want to reach out and take his hand, one last time. (I don’t of course, I don’t have the right to do that anymore.)

That kiss we shared only a moment ago will be the last one I’ll ever get to experience with Baz. And then when we’re back at Watford, he’ll just pretend nothing ever happened between us, that I dreamed it all up. 

And that is if I’m lucky. What is more likely is that Baz will go to Miss Possibelf and demand a new roommate, because I was spying on him in his own home, on private property. What I did was so horrible, she’ll grant him his request. 

I will spend our final year sleeping alone, thinking about Baz, loving him while he despises me. (Or he just gets me expelled so he doesn’t have to see me at all.)

_I can’t stand the idea of losing Baz._

I should have told him at the shopping centre before he kissed me. Maybe then Baz would have forgiven me. Now he’ll just think I’ve been taken advantage of him. I wasn’t. I was just too scared to tell him, I thought it’d be better to wait.

I shouldn’t have waited _this_ long.

# BAZ

“I already do,” I snap. The idiot keeps stalling and I’m at the end of my nerves here. There’s only so long I can last without letting the tears fall. I need him to be done with this already, to be done with _me_. It’s what Snow wants, he should hurry up and fucking do it. 

Snow huffs and chuckles at that. ( _Really_?) Shouldn’t he get angry? He usually does when I say something mean to him.

# SIMON

I’m going to miss Baz’s humour. This might be the last funny thing he told me. And it is funny because after this conversation, Baz’s opinion of what it means to think less of me is going to change _drastically_.

I’m dreading telling this to Baz. It’s embarrassing and I am ashamed for doing that. 

_I wasn’t thinking._

(When did I ever? It’s either not at all or too much, there is no middle ground for me, not with Baz. It never was and it never will.)

I hate to tell Baz about the spying. I’m still going to, right now. I’m almost crying and trying very hard to hold the tears in. It’s not fair to Baz to see me crying while I’m the one who is in the wrong here.

I look properly in his eyes before I speak. Not because I want to, because that’s what Baz deserves. 

Somehow Baz looks both indifferent and angry at the same time. His face is made of stone, but his eyes are throwing daggers at me, and I think there might be tears in his eyes at the moment too. (That’s how angry he is that he’s practically crying.) I spend years not knowing what Baz’s eyes were saying. Well, I know _now_. 

Baz must hate me already and I haven’t even told him what I did yet. (Has he guessed? Of course, he did — Baz is so fucking smart.)

I’m still going to say it out loud. It’s what Baz deserves. 

I wonder if Baz is going to punch me. (He probably should.)

# BAZ

“I saw _you-_ I mean- I saw you... wank because I was spying on you from a tree outside your window,” he says it all in one big jumble of words and looks guilty and scarlet red. I can clearly see the tears in his eyes. 

Spying? That’s what it was all about? Snow feels guilty for _spying_ on me? (He never did before when he followed me around through all the fifth year preventing me from feeding.) And this time I wanted him to spy. ( _I encouraged it in any way I could._ )

“I know,” I answer and soften my voice. 

Snow isn’t dumping me. Aleister _Crowley_. He should really stop messing with my head. 

I’ve not calmed down entirely yet, my heart is racing and the stress is making my throat tights. I want to hold the moron and make him comfort me since all of this is his fault. (I don’t of course.) Instead, I move my hand towards him and leave it palm down on the floor between us. (I don’t want to come off as desperate for his hand.) Does Snow still want to hold it, even after I snapped at him?

# SIMON

Baz doesn’t sound annoyed or angry anymore and he moves his hand toward me but doesn’t take mine. 

Does it mean it’s okay for me to touch him again? Does Baz want me to touch his hand? I think Baz looks a bit sad underneath it all and I don’t know why. I want to comfort him somehow but I don’t know what I’m allowed to do or if he even wants me to.

I’m taking a leap of faith and hope I’m not being too pushy. I put my hand on top of his. 

Baz isn’t pulling away. I slide it under his palm and squeeze lightly. He’s squeezing back. I take it as a good sign and interlace our fingers and hold his hand tight enough for Baz to know how much I care for him, not too tight though as to be considered pushy. (It feels better already being this close, having some contact with him again.)

_How could Baz have known?_

He never looked out of the window and I was camouflaged between the branches and the leaves. (Or was I? My brain was as excited as my body was to be there up in the tree, watching Baz. I can’t know for sure what’s true and what’s not when it comes to camouflage or anything else except for Baz’s _naked_ body and gasps.)

# BAZ

“You do? _How_? You haven't look out the window even once.” Snow exclaims and his whole body might be flushed now and it’s not from arousal this time, it’s from embarrassment. 

I can’t know for sure if it’s his whole body since I only got to get his button up off thus far. Snow could have had the decency to wait to bring this up till I undressed him fully. I would have had a more enticing view of his cock, that might have cushioned the blow of putting me through all these emotional turmoils.

Snow wonders how I know... Crowley, he’s so _thick_.

I’m going to tell Snow that I’m a vampire. He suspects already. As of now, there will be an admission on my part. Snow can take it up with the Coven and the Mage if he so pleases. (I’ll be lucky if the Mage only pulls my fangs, stikes my name from the book and expels me from school, instead of killing me on the spot.)

I’m trusting Simon with my life. If Snow was about to reject me, my life wouldn’t matter much anyway. Losing Simon after almost getting him would have destroyed me completely.

I guess we will see if the rejection is coming after this particular revelation. If the confirmed vampirism is what’s going to make him to finally leave me. 

It’s not like I can keep it a secret, Snow figured it out our fifth year. Besides, I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. 

Except for me being hopelessly in love with him. That is only because that information is too early to reveal, it can do irreparable damage at this early stage. We’re just got together. (Again, are we _together_? What does dating entail exactly?)

Is Snow going to drop my hand now?

“Because I’m a vampire and could smell you a mile away.” And then I add, “Besides, I have a mirror hanging on the wall in front of the window. I saw you the first time. Not right from the start, but when I was done.” I’m being very truthful with him today. 

Might be the euphoria of just been expertly snogged a few moments ago and finding out Simon Snow isn’t indeed trying to break up with me. (I keep asking myself. Are we together? He did ask me on a date.)

# SIMON

 _Jesus fucking Christ_. I thought it was all over. I thought Baz will reject me for being a creep and will never talk to me again. 

”You could smell me?” I ask just to clarify.

”Yes,” Baz answers with his eyebrow raised high and an expression that tells me he probably thinks I’m a moron but is trying hard not to show it. And he’d be right to think so.

Why haven’t I thought about the enhanced sense of smell? I’ve kept obsessing about Baz’s vampirism for years. (I now know why I’ve been obsessing this much, it’s because I _need_ Baz to bite me while I’m fucking him.) 

Baz is still holding my hand and I take it as an encouragement to move closer. Will Baz mind or is it okay? I don’t want to come on too strong after just admitting to the spying. (I don’t know where the lines are anymore.)

Baz finally told me that he’s a vampire. Does this mean he trusts me to keep his secret safe? (I will protect Baz with my life, I love him.) Or is Baz sharing this information with other people? He really shouldn't. People can be judgmental. Not me of course. I like that Baz is a vampire.

So Baz could see me when he was done that first day. 

_Wait a minute._

# BAZ

Snow moved closer to me and is holding my hand in his lap. He looks at me and _blushes_. Does it mean he isn’t repulsed by me being a vampire? He didn’t bat an eye when I dropped the V-bomb. 

However, Snow looks genuinely surprised about my inhuman sense of smell. (How is he such a moron? A handsome one that I love and wouldn't trade for anyone else in the whole wide world, nevertheless a _moron_.)

“Is that why you left for your washroom that fast?” He asks then. Has Snow noticed that? How much more _has_ he noticed?

“ _Yes_ ,” I answer and at the same time don’t like where this is going.

# SIMON

Baz hasn’t taken his hand from me yet and I start to move fingers of my other hand, the one that isn’t holding his, in circles on his knuckles and rubbing them slightly with my thumb. (Baz isn’t pulling away, he sighs instead.)

I miss touching his skin already, I missed Baz so much when I thought he was going to break up with me.

“But if you could smell me, how did you not know I was there until you saw me in the mirror?” I ask since it doesn’t make sense. You either can or can not smell someone. (Unless it is allergies. Is it _allergies_?)

# BAZ

 _Bloody_ Snow and his lucid moments of genius and impeccable memory. (He is touching my hand while we’re talking, that is why I’m not as angry about these questions as I want to be.)

Nonetheless, this time it’s my turn to feel flustered and blush. “I thought my brain conjured you up,” I admit. 

Seems I’m spilling all my secrets today. Well not _all_ , precisely. I’m lucky I haven’t told him that I’m in love with him yet. All in due time. (Will we have time?)

Snow smiles at that answer. He lifts his other hand the one that isn’t holding mine and touches my cheek, very gentle and light, tracing it with his thumb. (Snow’s hands are calloused, yet they always feel so soft when he’s touching me.)

Simon, very carefully, leans in to kiss me and I let him. How could I not? I’m too far gone to have any self preservation instincts left where Simon Snow is concerned.

 _Please don’t hurt me, Simon._ (Just because I’m a vampire, doesn’t mean I’m indestructible.)

I leave both statements unsaid.

The kiss starts off as a gentle, sweet peck that deepens over time, yet remains tender. It sends a shiver down my spine. 

I’m not going to complain about that. Perhaps honesty is the right way to go if it gets me expertly and passionately snogged by Simon Snow. I’m feeling so much better already.

I can’t help but be amazed that Snow is kissing me mere moments after I confirmed his years’ long suspicion about me being a vampire. 

Does this mean Snow doesn’t mind it too much or is he keeping his sword at the ready? (I’m talking about the _real_ sword this time, unfortunately. I’d welcome any penetration of his _other_ weapon.)

# SIMON

Baz thought he imagined me and he blushed when he said it, which means it wasn’t imagined as, in a nightmare, it must mean good kind imagined. 

I went for the kiss out of happiness and Baz let me. It means I’m still allowed to since he isn’t cross with me at all for spying. (Baz is _so_ forgiving.) I keep kissing him out of gratitude for letting me stay with him and not being angry with me. 

I have kissed Baz like that before, in gratitude for calling me by my first name. This kiss feels different though. I think it’s because there are no more lies between us. 

This is a pure and honest kiss. I haven’t told Baz that I’m in love with him yet. It’s not like it’s a big secret, he must suspect it after he read the card on the flowers. Neither have I told him that I’m planning to dual all his suitors, it doesn’t feel like the right time to bring it up. 

And these are secrets that are allowed to be kept for a while I think. I will tell Baz when the time comes. ( _After_ I killed all the other suitors maybe.) I don’t think Baz will be cross with me for that. If he really cared about any of them much, he wouldn’t be here with me. We spend all day together yesterday, shopping and it seems as if we’re going to spend all day together today as well. (I think he’ll be fine with me killing other people.)

That is… Well… I can’t believe my luck that’s how Baz felt when he saw me there in the tree that first day.

However, now I’m starting to suspect that other things that I considered being sheer luck _weren’t_.

When we break apart, breathless again (we always are when the kiss is this deep, breathtaking and long and it’s wonderful), I look at him. “ _Baz_?”

” _What_ , Snow?” He asks and he seems a bit annoyed. Is he worried I’ll tell him something bad again? 

”You wanted me to see you like… like _that_?” I ask because I have to know.

Does this mean Baz fancied me already? (I've been struggling with that as well, not knowing exactly if Baz fancies me or not.)

“What do you think?” He asks and raises one eyebrow. (Baz is so hot like this.) I don’t want to get distracted by his eyes. I need a clear mind to figure this out.

Baz wanted me to see him. I wasn't expecting it at all. (It’s the best kind of surprise.)

# BAZ

Snow stays quiet for a while without almost any eye contact and I start to worry what it might mean. Just as I’m getting to the hysterical fear of him walking away from me, Snow asks. ”Is that why you have so many mirrors around your bedroom?”

So Snow noticed that too. It’s as I always said, — Simon isn’t stupid, he’s just very _very_ thick.

”I wanted to see you too,” I say and blush more. Simon kisses me again, and it’s long and good and it makes me forget all the bad things that happened today.

After the kiss, Snow is quiet again, _thinking_. (Simon looks hot when he’s thinking. He’s biting on his lower lip.) I don’t worry about him not holding my gaze now. 

However, I do worry Snow will have more difficult questions for me that will undoubtedly reveal all my feelings for him.

# SIMON

If you're wondering what I’m doing right now, I’m replaying everything that happened since day one of me spying on Baz this summer. 

I remember everything about Baz from the way his hand was moving along his body and cock, how he was licking and sucking on his finger, how he fingered his arse and later fucked himself with a dildo. How erotic Baz looked when he arched his back before coming, how beautiful he was with satisfaction written all over his face. 

Baz is so sensual and hot and I love him so fucking much. 

Not because he’s beautiful, which he is. I _fancy_ him because he’s beautiful and hot. 

I _love_ him because he’s Baz. 

I love him because he has to put everything in order and can’t stand by a mess.

I love him because he looked worried about the flowers falling to the floor.

I love him because he can cast any spell better than anyone in our year and he isn’t afraid to show off or to talk against any teacher or anyone else. Baz is brave in a way I could never be.

I love him because he gets distracted by his homework and doesn’t notice when his hair falls in his face. 

Baz is so smart. He’s the smartest person I ever met. I always feel like a moron next to him. I have no idea what he sees in me. He is pure perfection, while I’m _ordinary._ There’s nothing I can do to ever measure to him. I’m trying to improve, to better myself, that’s all I can do. I have nothing to offer him, not even my magic is good enough, it can’t work properly.

I love him because when he was asleep at Warford I sometimes had the pleasure of seeing a little happy smile on his lips and I always wondered why he never looked like that while awake. 

I always thought he was unsatisfied because he hasn’t managed to kill me or because he was evil. It was easier for me to think about him that way and hate him for it than admit what I was really feeling. How I couldn’t take my eyes off him. How I constantly wanted to be near him. How I wanted _him_ to look at _me_ and how disappointed I felt when he didn’t.

I still don’t know why what it is that is making Baz’s life this hard except for the obvious of course. I know Baz lost his Mum when he was very young and I can only imagine how terrible it felt. I know a thing or two about loneliness and missing a parent, however not about never having one. I don’t know exactly how Baz feels but at least I can relate at some level. 

Being forced to hide that he’s a vampire couldn’t have been easy either, especially not with me hunting him day and night and trying to expose him. I’ve been a right tosser to him for seven years and he still has it in him to like me. 

(At least it seems as if he does, Baz has been nothing but nice to me since yesterday morning and he let me watch him _wank_ for days and do many other very hot and erotic things.)

He has reasons not to smile all the time, still, I want him to. I always did, even when I thought I hated him I still wanted to see him smile. 

Baz has smiled so much yesterday and today. (Today may not have been _so_ much since we've been snogging most of the time, you get the picture.) I hope if I try hard enough I could make him smile like that all the time. 

I also want to make him moan and gasp and I want to make him come anywhere he wants to by using my hands and mouth and tongue on his cock. That’s a different kind of smile and I want to give him that too, _constantly_. I also want to make Baz’s behind feel amazing. I want his arse to enjoy everything I’m going to do. 

What I’m trying to say is that I love everything about Baz and I love _him_. I may not know every single detail about him yet, I still know him better than anyone and I want to know _more_.

 _I remember everything._ (Both from Watford and from this week in his bedroom.)

I have been replaying the events of this week every night in my mind. (Despite not really admitting everything to myself from the beginning, I was still replaying everything I saw and heard Baz do.) I do remember every sound and gasp and moan that escaped Baz’s lips. 

_Every single one._ I remember perfectly the one that made no sense because it wasn’t a word I ever heard nor was it a part of a word I could have connected to wanking. ” _Oh… yes… si-”_

I have to ask Baz because I am pretty sure of the answer since Baz just told me that he wanted to see me too and I was wanking a lot, even when I kept pretending to myself that I wasn’t. 

I have to know if I’m right about this.

# BAZ

”Did you almost gasp my name at that time?” Snow gazes in my eyes and asks. He seems a bit surprised and may or may not look hopeful. 

Does it mean that Snow wants me to want him? Is it his ego or a possible desire for me? _Is there a desire for me?_

I have to answer truthfully, but even with all this honesty going on and Simon telling me about the spying, I still hate it. ”Yes,” I feel almost coerced with Snow’s honesty into admitting that. (He’s quite the interrogator.)

Why is he so perceptive all of a sudden? I’m not sure I like this new Snow.

In an instance, Simon wraps his free arm around my waist and kisses me with that passionate kiss that reminds me of love and I’m not quite sure anymore what I was thinking about earlier...

# SIMON

Baz almost gasped _my_ name while fucking himself with a dildo and letting me watch him. 

_It must mean he fancies me._

Does this mean Baz likes me more than all those other people that are courting him at the moment? Or has he done it with them too? I only want Baz to do things with me. But I might be the only idiot who’d climb a tree and spy on Baz, so I decide not to worry about other people doing that. (I guess I could come by the gardens a few times just to check if there are any creeps nearby and stab them all. It’s for Baz’s safety if anything.)

We’re dating now, does it mean I’m allowed to kill random blokes who try to touch Baz or just look at him?

Why didn’t Baz just tell me that he knew when he came by the bakery? Okay, maybe not the bakery, I only heard half of what he was saying. Still, Baz could have at least told me at the shopping centre when I was shamelessly flirting with him all day.

# BAZ

”You could have told me,” Snow says to me when we break apart. This conversation though insufferable at times have been filled with tender kisses and Simon’s blush and that is why I don’t have it in me to hate it.

”Same goes for you,” I argue and kiss him this time. (Snow isn’t protesting.)

I was wondering if Snow was ever going to tell me about the spying in the tree. I just assumed he wasn’t, either because he didn’t care enough about me or simply wouldn’t want to admit because he’d be embarrassed. 

Simon chose to tell me the truth. Surely it means he cares for me at least a little.

# SIMON

Baz kissed me first this time. And it feels so good. Now I can be completely sure he isn’t mad about anything, he _still_ wants me. 

That is what I think it all means that Baz wanted me before too. 

He doesn’t love me yet, but we’ll get there eventually. If Baz can get over the spying than I think I can manage somehow.

Baz fancies me at least a little. Those are the greatest news ever. I still need to threaten a lot of people to ensure that Baz is only going to be with _me_.


	18. Chapter 18

# BAZ

After our little heart to heart in regards to Snow’s spying through the window and me encouraging the spying, I decide to offer him some chocolate ( _not_ the one he gave me of course) and biscuits to put him back in an agreeable mood.

”Care for something sweet, Snow?” I ask as I reach for the hamper. (I need to keep feeding him so he won’t get bored.)

”Yes,” he says, takes my hand and brings it to his lips. Snow kisses me on my palm and fingers. 

Aleister _Crowley…_ Simon Snow is declining food. I never thought I’d see the day when he says no to food, moreover in favour of _me_. 

And then he kisses me on my mouth, a peck really but it feels _more intimate_ and with meaning. Simon proceeds to kiss my cheek, jaw, neck and top of my collar where my skin isn’t covered. He slips his fingers between the buttons and touches me while still holding my hand in his.

 _Crowley…_ I never want him to stop…

I’ve talked to Fiona about this. Well, not _this_ precisely. But I called her the night before I showed up at the bakery to flirt with Snow (even though it was questionable flirting at best, the intent to flirt was still there), and asked her for all she could tell me in regards to any _theoretical_ intimate situations between a vampire and a human. (Fiona knows people in all the dark and dangerous places if you catch my drift.) 

That was an awfully awkward conversation to have with my aunt, but I needed any information I could get my hands on. (I also trust Fiona to keep all my secrets.)

”Have you met a bloke, Basil?” Fiona asked and seemed overly excited on my behalf.

”Something like that,” is all she got in return. I couldn’t bloody well tell her the truth because I wasn’t sure myself what the _truth_ was, whether Snow and I were possibly going to do something. (As it turned out the ”something” is us going on a date later today and snogging on the floor of my bedroom right now.)

I never talked to anyone about me being a vampire before and what it all means. What I now know thanks to Fiona, is that I can’t accidentally Turn Simon by snogging him or having sex with him. I can’t even Turn him by simply biting him (not that I ever would bite him), because there’s more to Turning than that. 

Fiona also gave me some pointers on how to keep my fangs in check. That’s how I managed to conceal them from Snow during meals, both yesterday and today. They dropped a few times but I was hiding them well enough. 

I’m hoping I’ll be able to better manage to hold them in because the last thing I want is for my fangs to appear in the least convenient situation. (You’d be right to assume that the most inconvenient in this case would be while Snow’s cock is in my _mouth_.)

# SIMON

Baz is so beautiful and I keep kissing him because I’m still allowed. I kiss as much of him I can reach and try to touch his skin as much as possible.

I brush Baz’s hair back from one side of his face with one hand and place a kiss behind his ear. That makes him shiver and exhale softly. Baz is driving me mad with his breathing. 

Then I nibble gently on his ear… Oh, Merlin, Baz shivers even more and _gasps_ … 

He’s driving me completely mad with _everything_ he does. 

Baz never tells me what does he like (I like everything he does to me), but I’ve been learning from all the expressions on his beautiful face and all the various noises Baz makes whenever we touch and kiss…

I can’t ever keep my hands off of Baz. (He doesn’t seem to mind, so I’m not going to stop.)

# BAZ

Everything Snow does to me feels phenomenal. It feels as if he really cares for me but I try not to think about that. I don't want to set myself up for a bitter disappointment later.

I’m not going to waste this opportunity. 

”Come on, Snow,” I tell him and tug on his hand. I’m nervous and feel a blush creeping up my cheeks. 

How much blood did I consume this morning for blushing to keep happening? I was so out of it during the hunt to notice much. There were a lot of birds, I remember that I threw all the carcasses in a ravine after. (I am not usually this unabsorbed during feeding but I was riddled with grief thinking Snow didn’t want me.)

# SIMON

”Where are we going?” I ask although I’m pretty sure I know where, because Baz is blushing. (Unless I’m misreading this.)

# BAZ

”To my bed,” I declare this as calmly as I can as if it’s the most mundane thing to ever happen to me. (It’s the farthest from mundanity.)

Snow’s eyes widen and he blushes too, he’s so _lovely_. His blush gives me courage. I hold Snow’s hand and lead him to the bed, promptly relocating us there.

# SIMON

”Okay,” I say and I think I might seem nervous. (I feel extremely nervous.)

I’m almost afraid of that bed. No, not ‘afraid’, that’s not the right word. I’m excited and I feel as if I might come right on the spot just from touching the sheets on which Baz was laying while fucking himself with a dildo. 

He probably changed the sheets. But that’s not the point here. It’s the same bed still. Baz hasn’t changed the bed, has he?

And it’s also this room. It’s _everything_. I’ve been trying very hard not to think about it all while we were eating and talking. But bloody hell, it’s been practically impossible. 

So yes… Getting on his bed is terrifying. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of Baz. (More than I already have.)

# BAZ

Snow seems nervous, almost in a trance and I don't know what it means. We’re sitting on my bed now and he’s still holding my hand, tight. I want to touch him everywhere. I want to trace my lips alongs the constellation of freckles and moles that is Simon’s entire body. (I think, I still haven’t seen _all_ the details of his body.) I want to lick his body and make him _moan_ from pleasure. Or at least the part of him not covered by clothing. I did get him out of his button up earlier. I want to devour all the exposed skin with my lips and my tongue... (I don’t do any of that.) 

Instead, I squeeze his hand to reassure perhaps? I’m not even aware as to why because I have no idea what is happening inside his mind. (Snow never shares any information with me.) 

I can’t help but feel as though seeing Snow _shirtless_ is as far as I ever get to seeing him naked. I thought… Well I don’t know what I thought exactly… Snow seemed so eager in the foyer, groping me, grinding on me. And later as well in the kitchen, when Snow was pressing himself against my back with his rock hard cock and tracing his fingers all around _my_ cock, while I was making us sandwiches.

But it’s different now. He’s different. I’m starting to worry that I’ve read Simon wrong, misunderstood all his blushes, that he doesn’t want _this_. That it’s all too much for him. 

Of course it is too much, Snow isn’t even gay, I seem to keep forgetting that in the spur of the moment. Does he even want to be here?

# SIMON

I’m looking at the sheets now and start to worry that I’ll never measure up with whatever Baz’s expectations are. Because he was very impressive in this bed, and I have no idea what I’m doing. All of this is new to me. 

All my experience comes down to watching Baz and whatever I found on the internet after I took the quiz about being gay. (I found a lot of information, but it’s all _theoretical_.) 

I know what I want, I’m _very_ certain about that. However, I’m nervous and I’m not sure how to get to what I want without embarrassing myself.

I’m nervous because I’ve never done things with anyone, I’m also nervous about not being good with reading signs and knowing what Baz wants exactly and I’m also nervous because I don’t want to come too soon.

It feels much better when Baz squeezes my hand and asks, ”Are you alright?” 

I look up at him and our eyes meet, ”Yes... Just had something on my mind.” I was wrong all those years about myself and Baz. I was wrong when it comes to most things I gather… I want to be certain that he wants me and I think I am, now that I’m looking at him. (I should never have stopped looking at him.)

Baz fixes me with his eyes and there is so much I can see in them that I never noticed before, concern and softness amongst other things. He’s so gentle and warm. No one ever treated me in this manner. I’m not sure I deserve it, deserve _him_. ”Do you want to go downstairs instead?” he asks.

How could I ever thought Baz to be evil when he’s anything but. He’s like an angel — full of kindness, passion, life, beauty and fire, he’s bloody _perfect_. Baz warms my heart and I want to warm his body in return. (We can do that for each other because we match.) I love him so entirely, it makes the ache in my heart deep and overpowering, and the fact that Baz thinks I’d be more comfortable outside of his room, his bed almost breaks my heart. I want to be with Baz forever. (Not only in his bedroom obviously, but at the same time I do want to be in this room a lot, preferably with both of us naked.)

I won’t ever manage to be apart from him. As I gaze in his deep grey eyes, I’m not getting lost in them anymore. Baz’s eyes are my anchor to what’s real, to what I want. 

I’m certain about _this_. I want Baz and now I think he wants me too. 

”I want to stay here with you,” I tell Baz and smile, trailing my fingers across his. Because I’m more than fine now that I look into his eyes.

I feel centred when we lock eyes, I never feel like I’m blurring off at the edges as I usually do. I’m always present, always here, body and mind… I feel certain of things when Baz is holding my gaze, he’s choosing to look at me. (I spent years wishing he’d look at me.)

I can still see some concern in his beautiful grey eyes when he asks, ”Are you sure?”

”I am,” I say and squeeze his hand because I’m more than sure. But then add just in case, since I’m terrible with reading signs, ”Do _you_ want to go downstairs?” 

” _No_ ,” he says and I can see that lovely blush again. The one I love, the one I’ve been tracing with my fingers and kissing, the one that makes me think Baz fancies me at least a little.

Baz’s eyes are boring into mine and it’s making me feel light and happy and confident. I lean into him then and Baz meets me halfway, he always does.

We’re snogging now and I’m not so nervous anymore. We both want this and surely if Baz was concerned about me and my feelings earlier, he must have it in him to show me some leniency for my inexperience. (I’m not worried anymore.)

Besides Baz’s lips are a very good remedy against stress. I let one hand wind in his hair, it’s so smooth and feels amazing and soothing to touch. I think Baz likes when I do so because he moans against my lips and that feels good too. I think _everything_ about Baz might be antidepressant. (The kind with no side effects and all the benefits, arousal included in those of course.) My other hand is on his stomach, feeling his muscles over the shirt.

Baz both hands are in my hair and I like that a lot. He’s moving one hand down to my nape and it sends a shiver up my body. He’s driving me mad. The kiss is getting deeper and I never want to let go of him.

Baz is tugging me down towards him very gently and I follow more than a little enthusiastically. I want to be on top of him, I want to feel his whole body. I want to feel his hard cock against mine. 

Baz is _very_ hard, I can both feel it now and also saw the outline of his cock through his trousers earlier. When will I be allowed to feel it with my hands and mouth I wonder?

# BAZ

I’m lying on my back with Snow on top of me. We’ve been snogging while his cock pressed flush with mine, both exceedingly hard, hips moving in unison. I’m relishing in the friction of Snow’s cock on mine and wonder if I’m going to come _now_. (I’m wielding my body not to but it’s getting more difficult.)

Eventually, Snow props himself above me and I think he must want me to reach for him with my mouth, to prove how much I want him, how much I can’t live without him and I will. We have established that already. There’s nothing I _won’t_ do when it comes to Simon Snow. 

However, what Simon does instead is just looking at me, almost as if he’s taking all of me in and smiles and then he leans down and kisses me himself.

_What does it mean?_

# SIMON

I still can’t believe Baz forgave me and that he knew and wanted me to watch.

Grinding on Baz almost made me come, I had to take a break before I humiliate myself further, especially after that mental break down of worrying about coming too soon I had earlier, and also because I wanted to look at him.

Baz is gorgeous. I’d look at him forever with his beautiful smooth black hair spread on the cushion, cheeks flushed and his lips pink from _my_ mouth, but I also want to do other things. I come back to Baz and kiss him. 

He always kisses me with so much warmth that I want to tell him how much I love him and keep telling it over and over again. Baz must suspect that I do, but I’m not sure if he wants to hear it _yet_. We haven’t even been on one date, he’ll think I’m being pushy. (Baz might also think that it’s my way of demanding for him to say it back and that’s not how I mean it at all.)

I glide my fingers along his chest and stomach atop his button up and look at him.

”May I unbutton your shirt?” I ask because I need to touch more skin and I’m not sure if I’m being clear or not with whatever it is I’m trying to ask. Baz kisses me then and whispers a soft, ” _Yes_ ”. I kiss him back and start to work on his shirt.

As I unbutton Baz’s shirt, the flawless alabaster skin and beautiful lean muscles are being revealed. I trace my fingers alongside his upper body. Baz has goosebumps where my fingers just passed and I can hear his breathing deepen and catch. I start kissing him because I _need_ to and because I’m _allowed_.

I’m touching Baz’s chest while we’re snogging. His skin and toned muscles feel right under my hand. He’s so fit. 

I’m even bold enough to suck on his neck. I hope Baz won’t mind. I’m not trying to mark my territory or anything like that, it just feels right. I’m also curious if it’s even possible to leave a love bite on Baz. (I really hope so.)

# BAZ

Snow has been snogging me since he had gotten my shirt off. 

He’s kissing my neck now and it’s pure joy. 

_Oh…_ What’s this? Snow is sucking on my neck. Is he trying to leave a love bite?

_I want to be marked by Simon Snow._

Let the whole world know that I’m _his_.

Snow starts to trail kisses along my collarbone then and goes lower on my chest and I’m in ecstasy already. He’s licking my left nipple and then the other one. ( _Fuck_...that’s amazing.)

Snow keeps kissing me, every inch of my chest and continues lower.

 _Crowley_. He’s kissing my stomach now, and I close my eyes—because it feels good. (So good.) I could explode just from this. 

I don’t because I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of Snow now that he’s finally showing real interest in me. (Is he showing real interest in me? Is this real? Should I pinch myself just in case and will that reveal reality or will my mind imagine the pinch as well?)

And then when Snow starts to lick my abs... well… It _must_ be real. I wouldn’t have ever imagined that. 

What does it mean? Does Snow really like me? Or does he just like abs in general, enough to _lick_ them? 

I sink my fingers in his hair, threading through his thick curls and moan from the pleasure of Snow possibly wanting me and also because what he’s doing feels incredible.

” _It's… so…_ ” I can’t speak properly and therefore settle on moaning his name. ” _Simon…_ ”

# SIMON

Baz is so responsive and keeps moaning _my_ name. Well, that’s… I mean Baz must _really_ fancy me? Or is he moaning only because I’m licking his stomach? 

Does it mean someone else licked Baz’s stomach? What business is it of mine, really, but I’d prefer to know all the same. Who was it? Was it _Niall_?

Would Baz get mad at me for killing the bloke? (Niall claims to be Baz’s best friend and Baz is so kind and trusting.) I could say it was an accident. I could say I went off with my magic and poor Niall was collateral damage, in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

”What a tragedy! Nobody could have seen it coming.”

 _Merlin…_ I don’t actually want to have to lie to Baz. We’re honest now. Almost honest. I haven’t told Baz about the fact that I want him for the rest of my life. (I don’t want to scare him. Even I can understand that it would be too much before the first date.) 

Maybe I just talk to the bloke and explain to him in a rational way that it would be beneficial if he stays away from Baz from now on. (Yes, I’m going to punch Niall to make that statement more clear as to whom it’d be beneficial exactly.)

# BAZ

Everything Simon does to me feels unbelievable. I cherish each memory and try to hold on to each one in case Snow ever gets tired of me. 

My cock is aching with hardness and need for Snow, it’s yearning for him. My whole body seems to be one tightly wound rubber band and I need an immediate _release_.

Snow must have noticed by now. (In case he somehow missed it while pressing his hard cock on top of mine a while back.) I might not be as impressive build as Snow (I doubt anyone is), but I’m still above average, so the bulge in my snug trousers must be obvious enough… (I’m privy to this information on account of less than private conditions at the changing room before football. I only ever wanted Simon, doesn’t mean my eyes never lingered.)

But I don’t even dare to hope. Him kissing and licking my stomach is enough, more than enough, more than I ever could have imagined. (Literally, he’s _licking_ my stomach, I might have died without noticing and ended up in heaven against all odds and reason.)

I’ll just excuse myself to the washroom and wank after Snow is done with me. (I can’t function if I won’t, there’s been too much excitement and friction for that to be possible.)

Will it be just kissing my stomach and licking my abs or does Snow have more in mind? What does he want to do to me? Snow can do to me whatever pleases him, I just wish I’d known what’s in his head.

# SIMON

Baz is so beautiful. I want to spend the rest of my life doing _this_.

I also want to do other things with him. But now I’m unsure again. Is it moving too fast and taking things too far? 

What is the correct dating protocol here? I have no idea, I never dated before. Oh, wait… I did… I mean… _Well_ , you know what I mean!

Does Baz want my mouth on his cock or not? This is what I want to know.

# BAZ

Snow is getting to the lower part of my stomach and I can’t stop thinking _Yes_ while my cock is stirring for Snow enthusiastically and desperately just like I am. (I’m not sure but I think my cock might be just as desperate as I am.)

However, Snow stops abruptly and comes back up to me. I guess he didn’t want to after all. (I _almost_ got my hopes up.)

Snow whispers ”May I go… lower?” in my ear. Does he want to? Snow never needs to ask for permission. _I’m all his, forever_. 

I’m so overwhelmed and surprised and desperate for him, I accidentally whine ” _Please…_ ” back. I must look pathetic and I worry he’d be repulsed by me but Simon smiles and kisses me deep and it feels extraordinary and I forget what I was so worried about... 

# SIMON

Baz wants me. I find his sweet lips with my mouth and kiss him senseless.

 _Fuck_. I love him so much.

# BAZ

Snow keeps kissing me. Did he change his mind because I’m too needy? Then the kiss is getting more passionate and deeper and his lips are warm and soft and wonderful, that nothing else matters…

Snow moves back down eventually, and my heart starts to beat with excitement (I guess he hasn’t forgotten). (I’m still rock hard, I might be that for the rest of my life.)

Snow unbuttons my trousers and his eyes widen at the lack of pants. I didn’t bother putting on any since I was planning to be busy crying and wanking out of despair and hopeless love for Snow. 

I think Snow likes it this way because he swallows loud and traces his upper lip with the tip of his tongue, he then proceeds with taking my trousers off. 

He’s being so careful with everything he does. I want to scream out of desperation and need, ” _Just fucking do it already._ ” 

I don't because that would be rude and also it feels wonderful knowing Simon wants to be gentle with me. That I’m not just a toy to play with and toss aside when he’s done with me. It could mean that Snow cares for me or at least cares enough to be polite.

Doesn't mean that my inner turmoil that is my _lust_ for him isn’t in a hurry… Snow is going tantalizingly slow...

# SIMON

I’m taking my time. I need to relish this. Baz is letting me do something I’ve been fantasizing about, _craving_ with my whole body. 

I’m not rushing through this. I still have no idea if Baz has done this before or not. If he hasn’t then there are even more reasons to go slow. I want Baz to know how much this means to me, how much _he_ means to me.

Baz isn’t wearing any pants. It’s so fucking hot. I wonder if he ever wasn’t wearing any pants back at Watford? I wish I knew this back then, I wish we could have done _this_ ages ago.

Baz is so seductive and erotic. I think alluring is a word I read somewhere that also fits right in. (I think the word means that I want Baz a _lot_ which I do.)

It seems every time I think Baz is as sexy as he can get, he goes and does something to prove me wrong. To prove that he can be so much more. (Baz is used to always win against me, so it makes sense he has a lot of _hidden_ sexiness to unfold and astonish me with.) 

# BAZ

Aleister _Crowley_ . Snow is finally done and he is trailing kisses all around me, on my thighs and then around my _cock_. 

I’m trying not to make any noise but it’s far too hard, ” _Oh…” and ”Simon..._ ” and ” _Yes…_ ” escapes my lips.

Will Snow guess I’ve never done this before from how needy I am for _any_ touch from him down there? (His lips aren’t even on my cock yet.)

I’m leaking precome. I hope it won’t repulse him.

# SIMON

Baz looks so sensual and breathtaking like this — naked, hard, _moaning…_

Earlier while I was fucking Baz through our trousers I had to think about Penny. I will try not to this time. Because it felt wrong then but that’s nothing to how wrong it feels now. I only want to think about Baz. (I hope I have it in me not to come right this second just from looking at his cock.)

Because I finally get to see his cock up close. Baz’s cock is very symmetrical and goes in one straight line. That’s what makes people more good looking I heard somewhere — the symmetry. And of course, if there is something in the world that would make a person more beautiful and appealing, it is obvious that Baz has it, that includes his cock of course. (Baz is the best at everything and the most beautiful person in the world, that’s common knowledge.)

Can a cock look elegant, polished, cultured, exquisite and graceful? Baz’s cock sure has all those attributes. It’s a very _posh_ cock. (It’s hardly newsworthy, everything about Baz is _posh_ , his cock not excluded.)

Lean, pale but clearly filled with blood. I don’t think Baz needs to feed in order to get an erection. He’s been rock hard for hours without biting me. (I wish he’d bitten me. Baz has been sending mixed signals with _all_ the juice but _none_ of the biting happened yet.)

Baz’s cock looks strong like it might be made of white granite. (Is that the indestructible stone? I’m not knowledgeable in geology.)

There’s a visible vein going all the way up, it’s darker and makes his cock look distinguished. Why am I not surprised that Baz has such an upscale cock?

I wonder if Baz wears exclusively silk pants for the sake of his cock so as not to offend it with ordinary people clothing. When Baz bothers to wear any pants that is. (I prefer him never to wear any.)

I knew the Pitches were considered as close to royalty as one can get within the magickal community but I had no idea Baz’s cock was _truly_ royal. (I should have realized it though.)

It’s the kind of cock that demands attention and respect in all its glory and elegance. I feel like I might have to bound my head down unless I want to be beheaded for disrespecting the cock. I wonder if Baz’s cock has quite a temper just like Baz. (Baz isn’t quiet by nature and neither should his cock be.)

I am planning on lowering my head all the way down to Baz’s cock and taking him in my mouth. But first, I need to taste Baz’s _precome_. (Otherwise, I might not be able to let go of his beautiful and posh cock to do anything else with my mouth.)

Baz’s precome is spilt all around his cock, lower belly and leaking on his inner thighs. 

There’s a lot of precome and I’m going to lick it all up before moving onto the main dish— his _royal_ cock. (Shouldn’t it be called the royal dish then?)

I need better access to all the precome so I move Baz’s legs just a bit. (Hope he doesn’t mind.)

# BAZ

Snow spread my legs and I’m tingling with anticipation. I want any part of him to touch my cock. (Will he use his hand or his mouth?)

I feel Snow’s breath on my skin and my cock is throbbing for him. I’m lucky I don’t need to feed in order to get an erection, otherwise, there wouldn’t have been any blood left after all the previous dry humping and grinding.

Is he doing what I think he’s doing? Yes, Snow is licking up precome around my cock. _Crowley_.

Does it mean he didn’t mind? Or did he think it was in the way? But why would Snow lick it then and not just use his hand to wipe the precome away? 

I have no problems with him doing that instead of sucking me off. I’m getting even harder at the thought of Snow wanting to lick _my_ _precome_. 

After the last flick of his tongue, his lips move towards my cock.

# SIMON

As I predicted, Baz tastes sensational, sweet and salty but not too much, _fresh_ would be the right word, I guess. The greatness of Baz’s cock lies both in its beauty and great taste. (I wouldn’t have expected anything less.)

I make sure not to miss anything and fill my mouth full with his precome. (Tastes better than juice.) 

Baz should have offered me his precome instead. And surely it has enough nutrients to prevent lightheadedness when Baz finally bites me? When is he going to do it? I can’t stand this unknowing.

Baz’s cock is big. He’s bigger than most blokes at the care home. I wasn’t spying on anyone, just happened to see in the shower a few times and I’m curious by nature. 

Besides it is kind of impossible _not_ to notice cocks and certain details like size, shape, which way it’s bend, whether or not I like how it looks, things like that. (Merlin, I really should have noticed that I’m gay earlier.) 

_However, I only ever spied on Baz._ (Not entirely certain if that comes out as romantic as I intend for it to be or just plain creepy, I keep struggling with that.)

What I’m trying to say is that Baz is well built but I’m used to stuffing my mouth full so this isn’t as much of a challenge for me as it would’ve been for other people.

Who knows, maybe I was shoving food at a rapid speed all at once in my mouth like a barbarian in preparation for this moment — _sucking Baz’s posh cock_. 

I spent years thinking I was hungry for magic. But it seems I’ve been this hungry because I wasn’t getting any cock, specifically _Baz’s_ cock.

While I’m kissing and licking all around the tip, Baz’s cock almost _zaps_ me. Is his cock getting impassioned? 

I had no idea that’s how sex works for magicians, that’s just brilliant. Does Baz’s cock has a mind of its own and can tell me itself what it wants and also make sure I don’t slack on my duties with it being the royal cock and all? It sounds unbelievable. Magick can sure work in _mysterious_ ways…

# BAZ

Merlin, Morgana and Methuselah...

_Simon is kissing my cock._

Now I can die happy. I find his hair and get my fingers in his tasselled curls. (They are so soft, not dense at all.)

The next moment Simon kisses the tip of my cock and licks more of the fresh precome off it and something that feels suspiciously like an _actual_ bolt of electricity is going through my whole body, my cock and all the way to the tip. That’s _odd_ but I don’t have time to ponder on whatever probable reasons might lie behind it for too long.

 _Crowley…_ This is unbelievable and also wonderful. Snow licks my cock from the base to the tip several times and swirls his tongue around the tip.

I’m imagining unpleasant things in order to live through this. I don’t want to come before Snow even taken me in his mouth. 

When Snow finally takes my cock in his mouth, I can’t think anymore. A warm sensation is taking over my whole body. Simon’s mouth is killing any thought I ever had…

_Aleister fucking Crowley._

” _Yes…_ _Simon..._ ” I gasp because it’s simply marvellous.

Is there truly an entity out there that heard my pleas for Snow and decided to gift his mouth to me?

 _”Oh… Simon… yes...”_ I don’t even have in me to feel embarrassed about how needy I am being right now. (He’s _that_ good.)

Snow’s mouth is going up and down, taking me all the way. Whenever his mouth is moving up, Snow is letting his hand stroke my cock at the same time, all in precise, flawless movements. 

Everything he does is so graceful it’d put any ballroom dancer to shame.

” _Simon…_ ”

# SIMON

I know how to fit a large object in my mouth, but it doesn’t mean I knew anything about blowjobs. However, when I googled that whole ”top/bottom” debacle after the quiz, and found out what it meant and got a few ideas on what Baz and I could do in our spare time, I also found a few videos on what to do in this particular situation of sucking Baz’s beautiful cock. (I like to be prepared for a mission.)

And as it turns out, it paid off. Baz is moaning and gasping _my_ name very loudly over and over again and I almost come just from listening to him.

What I want right now while sucking Baz’s perfect and extravagant cock is to madly rut against the mattress… I don’t. I want this to be about Baz. I am moaning because sucking his cock feels that _gratifying_. This must be the best experience in the world.

Except I wonder if it would have been better if I was fucking Baz with the dildo while sucking his cock. Would Baz have liked that? 

_Oh_ , _Merlin_ , I wish I had the foresight to discuss all these topics with him beforehand, (also the topic of me licking his arse, I’m very disappointed for not bringing it up earlier.)

Why didn’t I remember to ask? Oh, yeah… I was extremely nervous and terrified to mess up somehow. That’ll do it but it’s a real shame.

Stupid nerves are ruining my chances to get my tongue inside Baz’s pretty _arse_.

Baz is so smooth everywhere I see. I wonder if it’s a spell or if he shaved this morning. (I shaved this morning just in case.)

I would really have liked to take this as an opportunity to lick Baz’s arse. But since I haven’t asked him and this doesn’t seem like the right time to ask questions, I’m forced to abstain. (I’ll ask him next time.)

# BAZ

My cock is currently covered in Snow’s saliva with his mouth all around it. I was wrong, I can die happy _now_ . I also will come _right_ now. 

_Crowley._ I can’t let this happen. I don’t dare to come in his mouth because Snow undoubtedly will be repulsed, but it feels so wonderful to have his mouth around my hard aching cock. I can’t let it all stop when I finally got to experience the incredible feeling of Simon’s talented mouth. (He might not want to do it again.)

What the hell am I to do? The old images aren’t helping.

I start rapidly thinking: _Dead rat carcasses at the Catacombs, dead rat carcasses at the Catacombs_ and hope I won’t get the urge to bite him.

Alright. Everything is fine now. Let the paradise continue… 

_Keep sucking, Simon, you’re so good at it!_

Why is he _so_ good at it? Whom exactly has he been dating? (I really should stop thinking.)

I thought he was straight. But Snow can’t be straight, can he? This doesn’t seem to be simply experimenting. (Who’d experiment like _that_?)

Simon increases the speed of his mouth so gradually, I haven't noticed until it’s so great it’s too much. I can’t hold on any longer, no visions will help me keep myself in check. 

Will Snow think the same that I thought back at the stall when he lasted for so long? Will he think that I don’t enjoy his lips and tongue around _my_ cock? 

I think I should just stop thinking, relax, let the sensation of Simon’s mouth on my cock envelop me, let this happen and just warn him in time. 

As Snow is working very hard and enthusiastically I might add, (he’s moaning around my cock somehow and it makes my cock vibrate). I'm getting closer and closer to the brink of my pleasure. 

It’s mindblowing and decadent and I want to beg him not to stop. But I can’t do that. (I doubt Snow wants to take things that far.) I’m trying to warn him, but my mouth seems to have lost the ability to speak.

” _I’m… co..ming..._ ” I finally managed to gasp while arching my back, (not on purpose, Snow is _that_ good) and I’m truly trying not to shove my cock in his mouth which isn't a small deed at all. 

Why isn’t Snow pulling away and why is he sucking deeper and faster? He is also holding on to me with both hands and seems to be pulling me towards himself.

# SIMON

Baz really doesn’t need to prepare me. By now I can all his telltales for when he’s on the brink of orgasm. (But he really needs to push harder into my mouth. I thought vampires were supposed to be strong.)

I can’t wait to finally taste his come.

# BAZ

Simon keeps working on my cock with his mouth and tongue, my body is shuddering with pleasure. Oh, _fucking hell_ , I’m pulsating all my come right into his mouth as I reach the high point of my climax and it feels as I could combust, _literally_ catch fire right now. (I know that I can’t, but it feels like I can as if my magick is going to get out.)

 _Aleister fucking Crowley_.

Simon keeps on sucking my cock only slower now and licking very thoroughly all around at the same time. Does this mean he’s planning on swallowing my come? I thought perhaps he’d be spitting out in disgust by now since he clearly didn’t manage to pull me out from his mouth on time. 

But it seems as if Snow is _tasting_ me, actually tasting… And now he’s leaving open mouthed kisses all over my cock, (apparently he doesn’t have any come left in his mouth.) Which means Simon just swallowed my come and that is the most _erotic_ experience of my life...

# SIMON

Baz is delicious and so is his come. His come taste sweet and salty and something else, spicy and also the best kind of fire. A fire that can still any thirst. (Does that make sense?)

It’s the kind of spice that soothes one’s throat and makes one crave it every day. It’s a fresh gulp of water in the middle of the desert. You can’t have only one, you need _more_. (It’s better than anything I ever tasted combined. I’m not sure how I am to ever enjoy sour cherry scones again after I had Baz’s come.)

I shudder from my own orgasm after Baz. I didn’t have the need to touch myself. Just watching Baz, listening to him moan and gasp (my name amongst other words) and also _tasting_ him. I wanted to have Baz’s cock in my mouth for so fucking long. (Much longer than I knew.)

_Fucking finally!_

I don’t want to miss even a single drop of Baz’s come. I’m licking his cock clean and kissing in appreciation, his royal cock was working hard for quite some time, and it felt amazing.

# BAZ

I can smell his come or is it a figment of my imagination? Did Snow come from _sucking_ my cock? (He wasn’t fucking himself against the mattress, I would have heard that.)

Crowley, how is that even possible? It took him forever yesterday. Now, wait a moment. I can’t help but wonder how Snow would have endured so much at the stall and came now without touching himself. Did Snow also think about less than enticing subjects or images and in that manner managed to prolong his endurance back at the stall? 

His come smells sensational and I need to taste it… but my body feels weightless and I’m losing all grasp on the now...

# SIMON

I was right that Baz’s come would have been the best kind of refreshment for my throat. If anyone’s come is medicinal, it’d be his. I just hope Baz isn’t curing other people with his medicinal come. (And if he is, I just kill them all, so it’d only be me alone in Baz’s life — problem solved. I’m very good at solving problems with my sword.)

# BAZ

 _Aleister fucking Crowley_ , nirvana is taking over my mind completely and I don’t think I’m capable of thinking anymore or even moving for that matter. 

# SIMON

Baz looks so relaxed and happy. There’s a satisfied smile on his lips. I wanted to give Baz this kind of smile and I finally did. 

He’s lovely like this, naked on the bed and blissful. Baz is always gorgeous, but this is different. I did this to him. I made Baz feel _this_ good. 

# BAZ

I was close to collapsing from the overwhelming pleasure and nearly missed when Simon got back on top of me. When I felt him against me, I nearly told him that I loved him at that moment.

” _Simon_ , I-” Crowley, I stop myself just in time. (Thank magic.) It’s too early for that and I settle for saying something else, ”I liked all of it, what you did.” I’m blushing again. Why the hell can’t I stop blushing?

I can’t help but wonder if there will be time to tell Simon that I’m in love with him and when exactly will that be? Is there a timeframe? I prefer to work with concrete facts and numbers. Because this can’t end. I need Simon to stay with me forever. 

I can’t be apart from him. I can’t let that happen and I’m not going to. I’ll flatten the Earth before I ever let that happen. There has to be a way to keep him. What does he want the most? 

Snow cares about food more than anything else in the world. Will it help if I make him roast beef every day? Vera could teach me. I should get the recipe for sour cherry scones from cook Pritchard. (She’ll share it with me, I’m her cousin.)

Simon smiles, ”Me too, a lot. You’re brilliant, Baz.” 

How can I be brilliant when he did all the work? But I don’t get a chance to ask him. Simon kisses me then and I can taste myself in his mouth. It's astonishing. It means it was _all_ true, I didn’t dream it all up, this wasn’t an erotic hallucination my brain conjured up to taunt me with. It’s real and he’s here with me now. I wrap my arms around Snow. (I’m never letting him go.)

Simon kisses my lips, my cheeks, my jaw and my neck and earlobe. I hear him whisper softly in my ear. ” _Baz…_ You’re so beautiful.”

# SIMON

Baz looks heavenly like this, almost glowing under my hands. Is it what they call afterglow? I had no idea it’d be so _realistic_ and to top it all, also so _magickal_...Maybe that’s how it is when magicians do it. (Makes sense to me.)

Baz told me he liked what I did. To say that I liked it too would be an understatement. I loved it and I love him! (I didn’t say that because I didn’t want to come on too strong.) Baz is holding me now and I can’t be happier than this. I’m kissing him everywhere I can reach while staying in his arms and tell him how beautiful he is.

Of course, Baz knows himself that he’s beautiful. I wasn't trying to reveal any big _news_ to him. That’s not why I said it. I said it because I wanted to because I’m allowed that, now that we’re dating. 

I want to keep telling Baz things, about everything, how I love him, how he makes me happy, how I want to spend my whole life with him, how he’s the kindest and prettiest person in the world. (That must be still too early, for now, I’d settle on telling Baz he’s _beautiful_.)

It’s a privilege to be allowed to tell Baz how beautiful he is.

But also I told him because sometimes it feels nice when people tell you something positive in regards to yourself that you already know. 

It’s like me with my sword. I’m very good with it and I know it myself but I still enjoy when people tell me how good I am with my sword.

 _Merlin_ , I meant the sword of Mages. But now I can’t stop thinking about a different sword of mine that I’m desperate to use on Baz. _Bloody_ hell _._ I have been dreaming to use my sword on Baz for years. Nothing changed, I’m still dreaming to do so. 

_It’s all I can think of really._

The only difference is that now I know that my sword is my cock and I want to use it on Baz. I want to push my cock deep inside his arse and I want Baz to enjoy it so much he’ll be gasping and moaning from pleasure.

However, I will never be able to look at a sword with a straight face ever again. 

Discovering your sexuality alongside vivid sexual imagination and visualisation can sure be inconvenient in some situations. How am I ever to go to battle again? Not that I even want to anymore. It seems I can get all the excitement I need right here, in Baz’s arms. This is so much better than a battle or is it one still? And who’s winning? Both I guess… (And that’s how I like it, for the both of us to win.) 

But now I can’t stop thinking about how I both want and need to fuck Baz with my very hard cock. Let’s face it, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for even a moment since the day before yesterday when I realized that’s what I wanted to do to Baz for years.

Baz seems happy that I told him how beautiful he is. I’m glad he didn’t take offence by me pointing out something he already knows. And Penny said people hate being mansplained to. She’s obviously wrong on that point.

# BAZ

Simon thinks I’m beautiful and he remembers it’s me because he called me by my name. ( _Yes_ , I still worry he will forget that I’m the one with him right now because Snow isn’t really interested in me. _Yes_ , I will keep on worrying, possibly for a very long time.)

Simon looked at me with powerful, strong emotions in his eyes when he said it, if I didn’t know any better I would have said something akin to love. 

Aleister _Crowley_ , I can’t stop thinking about how much _I_ _love_ _him_ , how much I wish it were true that Snow feels something to me too.

However, I haven’t forgotten that Simon came while sucking me off. I need to lick up his come. (My brain is still capable to concentrate on what’s important here.)

# SIMON

I came in my pants and I need to get cleaned up. Now when everything already happened I feel mortified over this. Will Baz think less of me if he figures it out?

”Would it be alright if I used your washroom?” I ask as I sit up and hope Baz wouldn’t guess for what. How much can he sense with that vampiric nose of his exactly?

Instead of responding, Baz sits up next to me and traces his fingers against my stomach until he’s just above the waistband of my trousers. He lets his fingers linger there.

Then, Baz proceeds to look right in my eyes. He licks his lips overly slow, looking... Well, I’m not sure how exactly, I guess suggestive if anything… _Sultry_ might be the right word here. Yes, Baz leans towards my ear, while looking extremely sultry and whispers, ”Do you have to?”

 _Merlin and Morgana,_ is Baz suggesting what I think he is suggesting? I can’t stop gazing into his sultry eyes. 

# BAZ

Simon was blushing when he asked to visit the washroom (it had to be about cleaning up all the come), so I decided to go for it. I was a complete nervous wreck when I delivered that little speech.

Despite that, I was determined to take the bull by the horns so to speak. (This could be my only chance. Who knows with Snow, he might lose interest in me despite all my efforts.) I just hope I’m not being too bloody reckless and push him away instead with this stunt.

Snow’s eyes widen, he swallows loud enough to wake the dead, blushes some more, pupils are blown wide already. (I think he might be getting aroused.) 

”N- no,” he stammers, breathing deep. Does this mean Snow is nervous? He never has to be nervous around me. This is all I wanted to do for so long and _constantly_ thought of for a week…

Simon looks shy and I’m not sure as to why. What does it mean? Does this mean _more_ to him than I think? 

I try to push those thoughts away. (False hope won’t do me any favours.) Instead, I concentrate on Snow wanting to clean his come off (and rob me of pleasure to lick it all up) versus giving me a chance of tasting him.

”May I take these off?” I ask when my fingers touch the waistband of his trousers.

Snow nods and whispers ” _Yes_.” 

I unbutton his trousers one button at a time and it takes all self-control I have been harbouring for years not to rip his trousers open. The moment I’ve been waiting for is almost upon me. I’m impassioned (and trying not to show it), I want to taste Simon _now_.

I can see wetness on his pants and my mouth is salivating from anticipation.

What I originally intended to do was to sink my tongue onto Simon and lick his whole body, including his moles and freckles and lick up all his come in one sitting and finally fulfill the most _erotic_ fantasies I ever had. However, I was worried that Snow would get appalled by my desperation for both him and his come.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have worried because Snow seems to be engrossed looking on me and into my eyes to notice much else. (He can’t possibly see my desperation for him right now.)

As soon as I get all the unnecessary clothing off ( _yes_ , I took this as an opportunity to get him completely naked), Snow adjusts and leans on the bedpost. 

”May I… taste your come?” And if that didn’t sound awkward, then I don’t even know what would... But I needed to ask Snow in case it somehow wasn’t clear what I had in mind. (I hope I don’t seem as nervous as I feel, or as desperate.)

”Yes… _fuck_...” Snow is practically moaning and I haven’t even done anything yet.

I trace my finger in his come and bring it to my mouth,(I decided to trade lightly just in case.) Snow’s eyes widen at that and he _groans_. 

# SIMON

That’s what Baz did the second day I came by the tree, the first time I saw him completely naked. He was licking his own come then, but it’s mine now. 

It looks _so_ hot when Baz does that and he’s so confident in everything he does. It’s incredible to see…

I have no idea where to look now, on his finger, his lips or into his eyes. (That’s way too many bloody options for a bloke to be able to handle.)

# BAZ

I’m tracing my finger around my lips, spreading his come around and then lick it from my lips and my finger. 

Simon tastes _delicious_ . Sweet, salty, luscious and smokey. Only Simon Snow’s come could taste like smoke — I love it. (I’m addicted to fire and Snow _is_ my greatest and most dangerous fire.) 

I want _more_. I dip my finger in his come again and just as I am on my way to bring it to my mouth, Snow takes my hand and asks, ”Is that alright? May I?” 

”It is and you may,” I tell him because anything Simon wants to do is fine with me. (I’m getting giddy and aroused just by the thought of him wanting to do anything at all with me, to me, near me...)

Snow then brings my finger to _his_ mouth instead.

Aleister _Crowley_ . Snow just licked his own come from _my_ finger. Simon looks so erotic doing it. 

# SIMON

I had to lick Baz’s come stained finger. It wasn’t his own come (I already licked it all up from his cock), but it was still _his_ finger.

My come taste different than Baz’s, more smokey I guess. I hope he doesn’t mind.

I can’t stop now that I got Baz’s finger in my mouth. Baz doesn’t seem to mind, he’s breathing heavily while I’ve been diligently licking his finger. I’m holding his gaze. (I’m always aware of his eyes.) I want to know if it’s okay and also because I love looking in his eyes. They are a bit hooded now, pupils are blown wide. But he doesn’t break eye contact even for a moment. 

I think Baz might be enjoying himself. I start sucking on his finger, slowly at first, in case Baz will change his mind. (He hasn’t.)

As I’m going faster, instead of moving my mouth now, I’m holding Baz’s hand and moving it so that his finger moves in and out of my mouth. I’m trying to let Baz take over, only if he wants to that is. 

# BAZ

Is Snow trying to get me to fuck his mouth with my finger? (Is that how they call it, I have no idea?) The point is it’s exactly what he wants me to do. Snow is moving my hand and fucking _his_ mouth with _my_ finger…

Obviously I could be misreading the situation. _Could_ I though? It seems fairly straightforward… I’m going to do it. If this indeed wasn’t what Snow has intended, he can always tell me.

# SIMON

Baz has finally gotten the idea of where I was going with this and is now fucking my mouth with his finger. And I might come again just from _this_ — his finger in my mouth. 

I’m moaning. I can’t stop moaning. I have been fantasizing about it for days, since the first time I saw Baz licking his come off his finger.

Seems all my fantasies are starting to come true. (I’m truly lucky, perhaps the fairy sightings were real after all.)

# BAZ

Snow is moaning around my finger and licking on it while I fuck him like this. He’s still looking into my eyes with his perfect blue ones (but there’s hardly any colour visible), they are half-closed now, I hope from the enjoyment. 

Merlin, Morgana and Methuselah… This feels more like a dream than anything else...

This isn’t the kind of behaviour I’d expect from Snow. (I’m not complaining, I’m simply in shock — a good kind, the _best_ kind really.) I can’t help but be curious as to any possible reasons for him to do so…

Due to all these recent revelations, I start to consider other fields of prowess and talent. Simon seems natural at everything sex related unless he’s _extremely_ experienced. It must take sucking more than a few cocks to get this knowledgeable and good, practically a true scholar…

That naturally worries me a lot, what if Snow decides to choose any of them instead of me? What do I have to offer to him in that department? I’m awkward and not experienced at all. (I’m desperately trying to block all those thoughts from my brain.)

Back to my original hypotheses. Snow is a warrior, a fearless explorer, a real life Captain James Tiberius Kirk, born on Earth but is so much more impressive. I can’t help but wonder if Simon seems destined to boldly go where no man has gone before, (except for myself.) You’d be correct in assuming that I’m talking about my arse.

I want Snow to explore my arse with all that he’s got. Which consequently include his tongue, fingers and cock, preferably all three and in that _particular_ order. I strongly suspect my dildo is required to play the role of a step in between before Simon’s humongous cock can enter me. When will it penetrate my arse already? I’ve spent years yearning for this, for his cock. (It’s possible that I’m getting ahead of myself here.)

Simon is just as charming and endearing as the original Kirk, but physically perhaps resembles the newer model more. Simon is of course so much more alluring with his bronze curls, tawny skin, freckles, moles, and dimples. I want to lick him from top to bottom, as well as his _bottom_. Would Snow be into that? (He seems to enjoy me fucking his mouth with my finger which could possibly mean that Simon isn’t opposed to certain penetrations himself.)

Snow’s cock doesn’t stay slack for long, I’m getting him to hardness with every thrust my finger makes into his mouth.

How is this possible? How is he into this? First Snow licked all my precome up, then gave me an incredible blowjob, swallowed all my come and now _this_?

Is Simon Snow straight or is he not? He’s not acting very heterosexual. Not that I know for sure how straight people act in the boudoir, but surely not like this. 

I don’t know exactly how gay people act in the boudoir either, I’m simply making an assumption based on my own desires… And all of my desires have consequently been the same as what Snow has done thus far. (I can’t help but wonder if Simon Snow might be gay by any chance.)

I moan myself because it feels incredible doing this to Simon, him letting me, not ‘letting’ — _encouraging_ me to do this to him.

The look on his face is impossible to describe, not impossible, just _unbelievable_. Snow looks extremely satisfied. He looks like the cat that just ate a canary and wants another canary. 

_Am I the canary in this scenario?_

And what else does Snow want to have his tongue on? I might have an idea, but I’m not brave enough to breach the subject. (I am talking about my arse of course.)

Snow is making me lose control. I’m already semi hard, getting harder by the second and I _just_ came a moment ago.

# SIMON

It feels incredible. Just as predicted Baz’s finger feels very right in my mouth. I want him to keep fucking my mouth with his finger until I come. It’ll do the trick because his finger is _that_ good — elegant, sexy and talented.

I also wonder if Baz could fuck my mouth with his cock. His cock is big but I’m very flexible with my mouth. When would it be acceptable to bring it up exactly? (Baz just came, so maybe not now.)

Would Baz be interested in using one of his fingers on my arse? It felt nice when I tried that myself (after watching Baz finger himself while sucking on another finger when I was spying on him.) 

I want that too, Baz fingering me while I suck on his finger. Would it feel nice if he used three fingers on my arse instead as he did on himself? (Oh, Merlin, who am I kidding, everything Baz would do with his fingers or his cock will feel incredible, _anywhere_ inside me.)

# BAZ

Snow is getting _very_ aroused from this, it’s not only me. I can see it and also catch the fresh scent of his precome mixed with the scent of his come.

I’m enjoying myself so much right now. Both because it’s hot to fuck his mouth with my finger but even more because Simon seems to be into it. (Everything is better when he is _this_ enthusiastic.)

But I really need to taste his come again. I only got a few licks off my finger.

I lean in and whisper in Snow’s ear, ”I want your come, _now_.” I hope he doesn’t mind me being so demanding. That’s not how I meant it, I’m just eager for Snow’s come. (I’m licking his earlobe and suck on it for emphasis.)

# SIMON

 _Jesus fucking Christ._ Baz wants my come. I wish he would keep fucking my mouth, licking and sucking my earlobe as he does now but I also want to feel his lips on my cock.

_I want everything at the same time._

That’s not possible, so I have to settle for one thing at a time. As long as Baz is doing anything or is just nearby, everything feels great.

The thought of his mouth anywhere near my cock is making me even harder.

”I want you to,” I am trying to answer without blushing. (Did I succeed?) While holding on to Baz, I lower us on the bed and lay with my back down and watch him move towards my cock. 

Baz is so _sexy_ when he moves. (He’s always sexy.)

# BAZ

Simon is blushing and I want to lick his _blush_. (One thing at a time, I just have gotten permission to lick his cock.)

Finally, after years of waiting and hoping, I get to be this close with my mouth to Snow’s cock. The magnificent grandeur of a cock. (It should be added onto the endangered species list and I alone put in charge of caring for the cock.)

Simon’s cock is beautiful. It’s everything one could dream a cock to be — big, strong and thick. It’s tawny but darker than Snow, because of all the blood with an even darker long deep vein stretching all the way up. 

Don’t worry, I’m not tempted to bite him on his cock. Trust me when I tell you this — there’s not enough thirst in the entire world that would make me want to plunge my fangs into Simon’s cock. Even the thought of disturbing this precious instrument horrifies me and sends an unpleasant chill down my spine. (I’d rather die a very slow and agonizing death.) 

However, I do constantly indulge in the fantasy of sinking my fangs in his neck and tasting the ambrosia that is Simon’s blood. (I’d never do that to him of course, no matter how much I want to.)

I’m lapping up all his come, relishing in Simon’s scent and taste. It’s simply divine. There are so many nuances to it, sweet, salty, smoky and a hint of something else… cinnamon perhaps. (Is that possible? Who am I kidding? Everything is possible with Snow.)

Snow’s come is _lush_. 

Simon is smooth everywhere, he must have shaved this morning. (I use a spell myself, it lasts longer.) Does it mean he was planning this? Or is it something Snow simply does every day now that he’s dating a lot? (All those people that he might choose over me.)

Don’t go there, Basilton!

 _Right_...

I concentrate on his cock instead. This is everything I could ever have hoped for and then some, a _hefty_ some. When I licked Snow’s beast clean, I look at him.

_Simon is breathtaking._

I so enjoy looking at Simon naked. He’s _lovely_ , skin barely a sunkissed fairest shade of gold, moles and freckles scattered across his body. Simon’s curls are wild now because I messed with them and I like that I’m allowed to do so. Simon’s lips are full of colour from all the snogging and sucking, he looks well _snogged_. (I did that to him.) 

The irises of his eyes are almost completely hidden, taken over by the darker shade of desire, that means he’s very aroused. Snow’s whole body is flushed from arousal, especially his cheeks, neck and chest. (The rockhard cock might also be a dead giveaway for how randy Snow is.)

Now all I can think is how I want Simon to look well _fucked_. (I need to suck his cock until I get him to the sweet release of orgasm for that to happen.) 

Next time I need his cock inside my arse. (Will there be a next time?)

I lick his bollocks and try and put them in my mouth both at the same time. I want Snow to know how much can be fit in _my_ mouth and then lick them some more. 

Snow was very impressive with his skill earlier (for reasons I’m trying not to think of), I’m _less_ so with it being my first time, but I’m going to do my best.

” _Baz_ …” He’s gasping after every flick of my tongue around his bollocks. I move from Snow’s cock and back to him so that I’m close to his face again. I’m more on top of him if anything, not entirely on purpose. I would rather hint to other activities so that he’d be on top of me — fucking me. (Not that I wouldn’t fuck _him_ , I would, but the chances of Snow wanting my cock in his arse are very slim. He might like my finger though since he clearly enjoyed it in his mouth, but I’d never dare to ask him that.) 

The sensation of Simon’s skin against mine, everywhere throughout our bodies, is completely transcendent. (Snow doesn't seem to mind our bodies pressed together.) I’m far from done with him, but I need to know if he wants what I have in mind. 

I don’t want to presume that Snow desires another orgasm, although if the state of his cock (rockhard, leaking fresh precome) is any indicator, Snow might want that. I want to make him come using my mouth.

”I want to make you come _again_ ,” I tell him because I’m being very bold. It’s Snow’s come giving me the courage. 

I hear him groan, ” _Fuck…_ ”

”Would you like that, _Simon_?” I ask and make sure my voice doesn’t tremble. (I’m very nervous.)

” _Baz…_ _I do… yes..._ ” he growls and that goes straight to my cock. I’m going to be very hard myself shortly. Snow kisses me then and for a split second, I almost get worried he doesn’t want me to suck his cock after all until I remember how Snow always kisses me for this long when I call him by his first name. 

I wasn’t trying to inspire the kissing this time, the name slipped out _involuntary_. Snow is the one encouraging me and getting me used to say his first name. (Simon Snow is quite the evil mastermind if you ask me.)

The kiss is deep and passionate and it feels incredible. I almost forget what I was planning to do. (Almost, but _not_ quite!) 

_I need Snow’s cock in my mouth._

# SIMON

Baz is on top of me now and I feel _all_ of him with my body. (I like that a lot.) I wonder if we could sleep like that— naked pressed onto each other, all night if we ever have a sleepover. Will we have one soon I wonder…

When Baz talks, his voice sounds so confident and erotic… It’s making me lose my mind. I wish he would talk all the time. However, maybe not right now because Baz wants to suck my cock. (I think that’s what he meant when he asked that question earlier.)

And fucking hell, of course, I want him to. Baz’s pretty mouth around _my_ cock. I hardly deserve that after all the lies.

 _Jesus fucking Christ._ Just the thought of it almost makes me come. I really shouldn’t do that. I already came in my pants once without any touching involved. A second time will be beyond embarrassing, more so than the first time.

Baz has been calling me by my first name a lot today. He must fancy me more now than before. Does it mean I’m doing something _right_ ? I need to know what exactly that is so I can do it again the same way and repeat doing it, so as to make Baz continue to like me, and maybe even more if I can do things even _better_.

Baz got back down between my legs and is now taking both my bollocks in his mouth again. That’s just bloody _brilliant_! I’m moaning and groaning and can’t seem to stop. 

” _Fuck… Baz… yes..._ ”

I keep repeating Baz’s name over and over again. Not because I need a reminder it’s him, (I can’t imagine it to be anyone else, can I be both gay and Baz-only-sexual I wonder?) It just feels right to say Baz’s name out loud, because he’s here with me and he wants me…

He must want me if he’s doing all that, _right_?

Why haven’t I thought about doing that to Baz, taking his bollocks in my mouth when I was licking up his precome and come and sucking his cock?

Baz sure knows what he’s doing. (I’m trying not to think as to why he’s so well educated on the subject of blowjobs.)

# BAZ

Could I ever tame this wild stallion with my mouth? (I hope my lack of experience won’t be an issue and Snow will deem me satisfactory.)

” _Baz…_ ” I hear him moan and I love it, as does my cock.

The satisfaction of hearing Snow moaning my name is impossible to explain. Snow is enjoying having his bollocks in my mouth and he is encouraging me to keep going. Does it mean, he’ll also enjoy my mouth around his cock? 

I’m starting off very slowly, holding his cock with my both hands and licking the tip. And kissing it too. I’m kissing the majestic beast that is Simon Snow’s cock and making Snow _moan_.

# SIMON

Baz is holding my cock in his hands, licking and kissing the tip and it feels incredible. (I had no idea that’s how a blowjob feels.) I like this better than wanking.

He’s looking at me now, his eyes bore into mine. That’s just so _hot_. I don’t ever want to stop looking into his eyes. 

Baz is so beautiful and sexy and he wants to suck my cock...

I think his eyes are what makes everything even better. Baz’s eyes drive me mad. Everything about Baz is driving me mad, it feels _thrilling_. And his tongue feels so right on my cock. 

While grabbing a fistful of his hair with one hand (not too tight, I just needed more contact with Baz), I try to enjoy and withstand the most amazing and erotic experience of my life without coming too soon. 

” _Fuck_ …” Baz is hot and it feels unbelievable, he’s so talented with his tongue. (That shouldn’t come as a surprise, Baz is talented at everything he does and with all the body parts he has.) (I really should stop mentioning ”body parts” if I want to appear _less_ creepy.)

When Baz starts to sink his mouth on my cock, I’m not sure anymore how I’m supposed to handle this. His head is going up and down, eyes never break contact with mine, it’s beyond _hot_ and I can hardly stand it.

I’m trying to concentrate very hard as to not come right this second. (For snakes' sake, I just came, shouldn’t I get some endurance by now?)

_Baz is so sexy and so fucking good at this._

# BAZ

Snow clearly likes my mouth on his cock, he’s enjoying it. (I’m not afraid of making that statement if all the growling and groaning and the continuous moaning is any indicator.) He’s also repeating my name, _constantly_ . (I don’t have much of an ego where Simon is concerned but I’m not going to lie — it feels good, so _good_.)

I continue to stroke him at the base and suck the top half of Snow’s magnificent cock, still watching him. Snow never breaks eye contact. Both his eyes and face react with a lot of emotions on everything I’m doing, arousal and gusto are the biggest ones, (Unless I’m misreading this.) However, he never looks away from me, not even for a second. Snow’s gaze is turning me on almost as much as his cock does.

Does Snow like to watch me like this, with his cock in my mouth, sucking and licking him? Does it turn him on to fill me full with his magnificent cock? (It arouses me a lot.)

Does it mean Snow likes that it’s _me_ and not someone else?

” _Oh… Baz…”_ Simon Snow is so fucking vocal. Is it why he wasn’t talking much, during all those years? How could I have guessed that all his vocabulary was saved for intimate moments in the boudoir?

I want to engulf his whole beast right now, but I give myself time to adjust, I don’t want to gag. What if Simon will think I don’t want him or will think that I’m bad at it. ( _It’s my first time._ )

This is so much better than holding his cock with my _hands_. 

As predicted it’s quite a struggle to get his whole cock down my throat. (That thing is _enormous_.)

It’s worth the struggle though, I feel _so_ full already and I haven't even taken him whole yet. His cock is brushing against the back of my throat, sliding down my throat and I cherish this feeling. 

It feels luxurious tasting him, sucking him. I finally got access to Snow’s godlike cock and I’m never giving it back, I will suck it every day if he lets me. 

As long as I go slow I can wield myself not to choke. I’m worried my fangs will come out and I need to keep them away from Snow’s cock at any cost. (Not that I would ever bite him anywhere _else_ , no matter how much I want to. And I do, want to, that is. Simon’s blood has been hypnotizing me this whole time.)

But this is more than enough. This is something I could never have dreamed of actually being allowed to do — to suck Simon’s majestic cock. I love the sensation of his cock inside my throat, I want _more_. I wonder if I could go faster over time, with more practice? (Will we have time? Will Simon stay with me?)

# SIMON

Baz is sucking my cock and it’s completely _mindblowing_. He isn’t going as fast and deep as I was when I sucked his cock and he shouldn’t. Baz isn’t used to stuffing his mouth full with an overflow of food. (He spent his life eating like a normal person.) 

My cock is also sturdy build, so it must be a handful to shove too much too fast. I don't mind at all the speed Baz is going with. What he is doing to my cock feels _incredible_. 

_It can’t feel better than this._

# BAZ

Snow screams ” _Christ... Baz…” ”Yes…”_ when I finally manage to take him _all_ in. That alone made it worth it! (And it feels spectacular for my mouth as well.) 

I want to make him scream like that _again._ Simon’s enthusiasm, noises of pleasure escaping his lips, the taste and the scent of his glorious cock are making me lightheaded in the best possible way. 

He’s absolutely _divine._ Ambrosia mixed with aphrodisiac mixed with the most addictive drug. 

_I want to suck Simon’s magnificent cock forever._

# SIMON

 _Oh_ , _Merlin_ , was I wrong. Baz just gulped down my whole cock in his mouth and that feels even better. _Jesus fucking Christ_ , I literally screamed from pleasure, because it felt _that_ good.

It’s phenomenal and for a moment I wonder if I’m going to die from satisfaction. (I really wouldn’t mind at this point.)

How does Baz even manage it? Is he using magic to fit my whole cock inside his mouth? Or is that pure determination? (Baz never gives up on anything because he’s so smart and gifted.)

Does it mean Baz likes my cock? (I love _his_ cock, of course, it’s pure perfection and royal beauty and also it tastes delicious.) But now I am really curious if Baz might fancy my cock...

# BAZ

While sucking his glorious cock, I’m trying to caress his bollocks at the same time with my hands. It’s working well now that I’m sucking his cock _properly_ , all the way down and it makes Snow growl and tighten his hold on my hair. I can’t get enough of that, (it goes straight to my cock _and_ my heart.)

I’m going up and down as fast as I can manage without choking, needing more of Simon’s cock in me and wanting him to feel good. I want him to explode in my mouth and fill me up. 

Snow keeps gasping my name, calling for me.

” _Baz… yes… Baz..._ ” and it’s such a validation. (I might be doing something right after all!)

 _Crowley_ , he feels and tastes extraordinary. When Simon comes he fills my mouth full just as I predicted. And it’s all I ever wanted and thought it would be but better, it’s so much _more_. 

Better because it’s real, he’s here with me, Simon wants me. (Does he want me?) 

Better because the sensation of Simon’s warm come spreading through my mouth and throat isn’t something that can be imagined properly, the reality is so much different. There are no words to describe how marvellous the experience of Simon exploding inside my mouth is. It’s nothing less than _divine_ …

I need to catch my breath afterwards. (But I’m going to lick up every drop that happens to linger on his cock.)

I crawl back on top of Simon when I’m done and stay with him, _on_ him. Simon wraps his arms around my back and holds me. Then he moves one of his hands to the swell of my arse, squeezes lightly and holds on, and that feels just as incredible as it did when we were snogging downstairs, yet better. We’re naked for one. We got to do so much, I got to _taste_ him, all of him and Simon tasted me. I love him but I can’t tell him that. 

I so wish I could tell him.

# SIMON

Baz is amazing and he wants me. (I’m sure of it now.) I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. (We're both warm now and Baz's lips look so bright, I did that.) I kiss him now that he’s back on top of me. I like that too, Baz laying on top, our bodies pressed tight. His cock and mine, _together_ like a proper couple. (Are our cocks a couple? It sure feels that way.)

I hold on to Baz’s arse because I have to. I missed his arse already while I wasn’t touching it. 

We stay like that and that’s just brilliant, it can’t get better to be close after we both came. I did it _twice_. I wonder if I could convince Baz to go for a second time with his cock? Would Baz want to fuck my mouth? Is he by any chance into that?

# BAZ

Snow and I are entangled in each other on my bed. His eyes are closed now, he’s breathing slow, satisfied smile colours his lips. (They’re blood pink from kissing, licking and sucking, just like mine are or at least that’s how my lips feel.) I lift myself up to look at him.

Simon looks gorgeous naked, _stunning_. I smile myself, (grinning really) but only because he can’t see me.

There’s so much I wish I could tell him right this moment. (I can’t yet.) But I can and want to tell him _something_. I draw in a breath and say, ”I followed you yesterday.” 

He opens his eyes and looks at me, ”Hmmm?”

”From the bakery to the shopping centre,” I admit.

Snow seems surprised by that. ”Why?” he asks.

 _Why_? Because I thought he was going on a date and I had to make sure so I could slowly lose my mind from grief, because I’m too weak for him to not follow him around, because I was hoping for something and wasn’t even sure for what exactly, because I love him and I want him and any logical thinking flew out the window the day Snow started coming by the tree…

”Because I wanted to spend time with you,” I say and wonder if I might have said too much. (I feel the blush creeping up again. How long is this going to be happening today?)

”I’m glad you did,” Snow gifts me with a bright smile and blushes himself. 

”You are?” I ask like an idiot, lovesick idiot to be precise.

”Of course I am. I wanted to spend time with you too, Baz. Why else would I be here?” Simon touches my cheek with his hand and brushes it with his thumb and the gesture is so soft and gentle, it fills my stomach with butterflies and my heart with hope. 

Simon then proceeds to reach for me with his mouth and kisses me. 

# SIMON

I don’t think I need to worry about Baz anymore. He must really fancy me if he followed me to the shopping centre just to spend time with me. After all, I followed him around for seven years, I know exactly what that means. 

Well, I know _now_ why I followed him so much, it’s because I fancied him all those years. You only follow someone obsessively if you fancy that person, (I do fancy Baz, I love him) or unless you’re a creepy and dangerous stalker, (which I very well may be too.) I think it’s about time I acknowledge that about myself. 

The lines seem to be blurry when it comes to love, obsession and healthy expression of both. I’d never hurt Baz or make him feel uncomfortable in any way. All I want is for him to be safe and happy, I’ll give my life to ensure that. But I have no quarrels with hurting anyone who’d come near him or look at him in general. I’m not used to having much of my own that is actually important to me and I’m not planning on sharing. Not that I think of Baz as an object — he’s my whole world, always has been and always will be. (And I’m not stupid to let other people touch my world.) 

But since we’re both here, in each other’s arms, snogging after doing other wonderful things together, it should mean that Baz knows that he fancies me, _consciously_ . (He did let me watch him _wank_ and fuck himself earlier and he said he wanted to spend time with me.) 

Baz is also much smarter than me so he clearly understands _everything_ that is happening between us better than I do. (He must have figured it all out already at the bakery or even earlier when I first came by the tree.)

# BAZ

Eventually, I sink us back to the mattress and snog him properly, making sure we’re both breathless before pulling apart.

I can’t help but wonder what it all means, why he’s this soft with me, how Simon holds me and kisses me… How he told me I was beautiful with so much raw emotion in his eyes…

Could I dare to hope or would that be foolish? All of it can’t be simply my wishful thinking, can it? Surely I’m not that talented in the skill of giving life to self induced hallucinations? 

It feels as though I’m treading on extremely dangerous territory letting my heart hope for something more than a stolen kiss and a blowjob…

Instead of pondering about things I have no control over, I'm going to enjoy this, enjoy _Simon_. I’ve got an idea (something I craved for so long), and I’m bold enough to do it. After everything we’ve done today, I think I might be allowed this. 

_I’m going to kiss every single mole and freckle on Simon’s body._


	19. Chapter 19

# BAZ

There are freckles on his shoulders, and moles scattered all over his back and chest, his arms and legs. I’m going to take my time kissing them, now that I finally have the opportunity to do so. 

Simon is breathtaking and I’m being brave enough right now to tell him that.

”You’re beautiful, Simon,” I say and kiss his cheek and then lips before continuing onto his moles and freckles. It makes him _shiver_ and smile.

I start with the three moles on his right cheek, one over his left eye, two below his left ear and keep going down...

I dare him to try and stop me. I don’t think Snow likes his freckles and moles much but I do and I hope my love can cure him of that. (I will stop of course if he doesn’t like it.)

I let my lips trace every mole I could find and I lick them too. (That made him _gasp_.)

# SIMON

Baz called me beautiful. _Merlin_ , I had no idea he thought that about me. (I know I’m objectively good looking but I never thought of myself as _beautiful_ , that’s all Baz— beautiful, flawless, perfect, a human version dream come true.)

It feels magical to hear him say that. A different kind of magic, the kind that’s in my heart, the kind that matters _more_ because I love him. 

I thought I only ever cared about the magickal World, that it’s all I ever wanted. It turns out all I ever wanted is Baz and the magic of his lips on mine. 

_Baz is better than magic._

Well, it hardly comes as a surprise. Baz is better than anything.

He kisses me, and it always feels so good when he kisses me first.

And then Baz starts moving his lips on my body in a very strange order. (It takes me a while to realize he is sweeping his lips over my moles and freckles.) 

What Baz is doing feels amazing. I can’t stop _moaning_.

I don’t really like them, but I think Baz does because he’s kissing them all after calling me beautiful. I get to feel his lips on me because of my moles and freckles, so I have no other choice than to start to appreciate them. (Licking and kissing feels incredible. I want Baz to lick me more often. I also want to lick _him_.)

# BAZ

Aleister _Crowley_. Snow isn’t quite even for a second… All I’m doing is kissing his body. It’s not even considered a sexual deed. (Or does it? I honestly have no idea, I’m extremely inexperienced.) 

Does it mean he likes when I’m soft with him? 

Because let’s face it, that’s exactly what I am now. I’m fairly convinced that I might have been that more often than not this whole day. I’m worried he’ll know somehow how much I need him and can’t live without him. 

At the same time, I’m enjoying giving him pleasure and myself too, I’ve been craving to kiss the constellation of moles and freckles scattered along Simon’s body for years. 

Simon Snow is the centre of my universe and everything else spins around him. I should hold him at arm's length, but I can’t, there’s no dignity left in me. (There never was, not with him. However long I tried to pretend otherwise.)

What we’ve been doing, it’s as if there’s more. It’s not just sex. And Simon has been treating me the same way. 

_Crowley_ . He’s bloody soft with me all the time. Snow keeps kissing me in an emotionally _suggestive manner_ , that hints to love. I may not have much experience, as in I have _none_ except for what Snow and I have done, but even I can see how it all looks, how he’s with me. 

For Crowley’s sake, Snow can’t get surprised later when I’ll start to hope for something real. It’s a slippery slope that starts with a single gentle touch and a kiss and turns into an avalanche.

Does he know what he’s doing? What does it mean exactly if he does? What does _he_ want?

I forget about all my questions when my mouth trails his moles and freckles back to his cheek and Snow finds my lips with his and kisses me, deep and long and tender, the way he’s been doing, the emotionally suggestive way, while his hand finds my arse and gropes it. 

# SIMON

I never want to leave this bed. I want to stay here with Baz, snogging and touching his arse. I miss it whenever I don’t get to do that for an extended period of time. I only started today, but I can’t go too long without it. 

What can I say, I might be extremely addicted to his arse, and Baz himself. (That’s nothing new.) I want us to roll around in bed forever.

I also want to go on a date with him. It’s important. It’s what people do when they are courting someone. I’ve seen others do that with my own eyes both in real life and on television, so I know it’s true. That’s why I’m glad when Baz brings up having a shower. 

”We should take a shower,” he says and lifts himself up. Baz was lying on me while we were snogging. His whole body is as warm as mine, it has been since the foyer. (His lips are so bright. I did that and I like it a lot.)

We definitely need one. We should take a shower _together_ . Because then I get to see Baz there, with wet hair and body and also his cock. I haven’t seen it in a while. I mean I felt it against me, and that’s incredible but I also want to _see_ it. 

As I said earlier, Baz is like one of those fancy sculptures at the museum and apparently to my own surprise, I’m very cultured and _need_ to absorb all the culture of his body I can, that includes looking at his posh and sophisticated cock. 

Who could have guessed I would be interested in intellectual subjects? Apparently I’m very interested, as long as it has something to do with Baz.

I think he understood that’s what I’m thinking about — us in the shower together. Because he raises his eyebrow at me in question. (Is Baz a mind reader by any chance?)

# BAZ

Snow not so covertly glanced in the direction of my cock when I suggested we take a shower. 

Simon Snow doesn’t do subtle. 

I love it. (It helps with my nerves, which I have in abundance and are not subtle.) I also feel as though while Snow is looking at my cock or my behind, my awkwardness might escape him. 

Besides, his gaze has been warming my body and soul and turning my cock exceedingly hard. (Not that I need any help in that department with Snow, _being hard is a lasting side-effect when he’s here._ )

I myself wouldn’t mind indulging in looking at naked Simon and his glorious cock — the object of my voyeuristic pleasure. The difference is that my glances are covert. (I do it when he can’t see, I worry he’ll think I'm too needy.)

# SIMON

”You mean together, yeah?” I’m not sure I needed to say that out loud. Baz seems to _always_ sense what I’m thinking.

”I suppose, wouldn’t want you to get lost on the way,” Baz says with a smirk. I think it’s his way of saying that he wants me to follow him since I visited his washroom when we were eating sandwiches. 

And even if Baz forgot about that, the washroom is right there, I can see the door from where we are. 

I may not be very smart, but even I’m not that dumb and Baz must know it. Does he understand that I’m not always a _complete_ idiot?

I lift myself up and stand next to him, “Lead the way.” I hope it came off as flirting, like what he said about me not getting lost. But I’m not sure. I’m not as confident and smart as Baz is.

But then Baz walks first and my eyes automatically trail his arse and I almost walk into a door frame. 

However, I'm not sure if that’s even on me — his arse is that irresistible and powerful. It’s his bum’s fault but I’d never accuse it of anything or hold anything against it. I love and cherish Baz’s behind too much for that and Baz of course.

It’s a complete package. I want to hold him in my arms and make him moan and gasp, while also holding onto his arse, entering it with my hard cock.

 _Oh, Merlin,_ that’s all I can think about.

# BAZ

We’re in the shower now. I should feel spent. I’m not. My adrenaline has been working on autopilot and might be as bottomless as Snow’s magic. I want everything and I never want to stop!

We’re snogging, and the shower is forgotten — or more accurately, it had never really begun. Snow got in after me and was very hard already. How can I say no, when it’s all I want, for him to always be hard for me. (I’m always hard for him and want him.)

Things are getting heated again between us. Or perhaps they never stopped. Sometimes it feels as though that first day, when I was done wanking and looked in the mirror and saw Snow in the tree, we started an erotic roller coaster together… or was it a marathon?

The kind that goes in a circle and never stops because all the doors are magically locked and the tawny, freckled, blue eyed Adonis is now destined to spend his life with me, in an ecstasy of meeting lips with lips and skin with skin and hopefully his cock with my derrière. 

_Crowley_ . I should bloody well spell this door shut. Not sure if Snow’d approve of it. Does he have another date to get to tomorrow? How many people is he dating and will I manage to get him not to do that and only date me and fuck _me_? I need Simon to shag me.

What I’m trying to say is that the roller coaster or the marathon or whatever you’d choose to call it, it has never stopped and I sure as fuck hope it never will. I need him, pressed into me, inside me… 

_I need him to shag me._

I may have mentioned that already. But I can’t stress this issue enough. I wish I was a daring person and could simply come out and tell him that.

For years I’ve dreamt about him inside me, and I didn’t even know what his cock looked like. Still, I knew already that I needed it. Now that I’ve seen it — the majestic beast rising like a tidal wave, I can hardly stand to think about anything else. 

The cock is spectacular and it’s not only the size (which is impressive beyond my wildest dreams), it’s every single detail. 

If someone were to paint Simon’s cock it’d be a masterpiece of perfection. Every brushstroke would reveal the depths of its glory and beauty. It’s the cock that creates longing, deep and desperate. It’s the cock that could win wars. 

Not entirely sure what kind of wars we’d be talking about here, but it undoubtedly would win them all, or perhaps stop or start them. 

Snow’s cock would be just as powerful a reason for starting a war as Helen of Troy was. Simon himself is just as magnificent, it’s double jeopardy. There's no chance of capitulation, surrender for any party when Simon is a stake. 

You’d fight until your last breath to keep him and his cock. That’s a war worth going into. I’d fight that war! I’d win it!

Furthermore, I want other things. I want to _feel_ Simon… Fucking his mouth with my finger was an incredible and very unbelievable (as in I still can’t believe it happened and wonder if I have dreamed it all up after all) experience, I want _more_. 

I also want him to do things to me, anything he desires. What can I get? What is he willing to give me? I’ll take anything. I’d take hand holding for the rest of my life if that’s all that is on the table and it will still be enough because it’s _him_.

 _Simon Snow_ — my happiest dream and worst nightmare, my entire existence is circled around him. He’s the only one who could ever hurt me, truly hurt me. Snow would never need a weapon for that. The look of jealousy and pure rage every time he saw me looking at him and Wellbelove, the friendly smiles that were shared with other people, everyone back at school, except for me. Because he never deemed me worthy. 

Simon Snow knows exactly how to hurt me and he always will. I should keep that in mind and run as far as I can. I should but I can’t. I’m too weak for him, too far gone. I’m giving my heart to him on a platter, to destroy and tear apart. I don’t even have it in me to start having second thoughts. 

Simon’s had my heart for years... what difference does it make if he shatters it now or later? I’d have no regrets.

I don’t have any expectations, I just want him in any way he wants and feels comfortable with. I still don’t know if he’s even gay, not the slightest idea. All the signs point there. But do they? Do they truly point to Simon being queer or is it just me seeing what’s not there, seeing what I want to see, what I’d die for to be true… 

He hasn’t acted straight even once today, but I’m clearly not an expert on how people act. (I’m not a person, not really.)

# SIMON

_Baz is the sexiest person on earth._

There’s so much I want us to do with one another. I’m remembering the summers when I was licking and sucking popsicles after thinking about Baz, not knowing what it all meant. (Because I’m such a colossal moron.) 

I want to do that, to use Baz’s cock like a _popsicle_. I feel like I might need that, in order to get over my past mistakes of not understanding my feelings and getting frustrated about that at times, and trying to wank the frustration away. (It never worked and made me think _more_ about Baz instead. I couldn’t understand why.)

That is why I think doing this now will help me to work through everything. Isn’t that how therapy works? Does it mean that Baz’s cock is my emotional support body part? There I go with body parts again. I really should stop…

# BAZ

We’re both wet, water is still running. We haven't gotten far as shower goes. Snow leans into me and then starts to lick the water off my chest and goes lower to my stomach. _Crowley…_ How is it that Simon always knows what to do to make my heart beat right out of my chest? 

# SIMON

There’re so many expressions on Baz’s pretty face. I can’t believe I missed them for years. How I thought he only had four, one of which was _plotting_.

Well, in reality, Baz has countless expressions at his disposal. Especially when we kiss and touch and also when he’s practically seducing me with his sultry eyes. (He leaves me speechless and stupid all the time because his eyes are that _powerful_.)

He’s the prettiest person on Earth.

Baz also has the most beautiful laugh I have ever heard. And he’s adorable when he snorts. Unfortunately, I’ve only seen him snort once while I was spying on him reading a book. I hope I’ll see it more often.

I wonder what kind of expression Baz will have when he bites me? And also when is he going to bite me?

My favourite expression of his is a happy smile, but I enjoy seeing Baz satisfied, moaning and gasping. I _need_ to make him moan again.

I wanted to do this — lick his wet chest — the first day I saw Baz naked. When he came out of his washroom with a towel around his waist, droplets covering his flawless alabaster skin. I was right, the water tastes better from Baz’s chest. It’s mixed with him, his scent, his flavour. ( _Merlin_ , how did I not get it already back then that I’m gay while watching Baz’s perfect wet chest and imagining _licking_ it? How could I miss the most obvious thing about me?)

Baz is the best kind of flavour just as predicted. I wonder if I should ask him if he’s gay? Not now of course, maybe later. Right now I’m too busy licking water off his chest, I want to lick the water of other places too. 

I want to suck his cock again and I don’t actually want there to be any water in the way. What if it washes off his precome or come somehow? 

Maybe I could adjust the spray away from Baz’s crotch. There’s some precious come that might possibly be in danger of getting sucked down the drain instead of my mouth. 

Not that I’m saying Baz’s cock is like an unattended garden hose. Baz’s cock is perfectly precise, even composed most of the time, but I’ve managed to get it riled up, haven’t I? His cock was constantly twitching into me in the foyer and inside my mouth as well when we were in bed earlier, it even _zapped_ me once.

That last one was a bit strange and felt magickal, but you don’t hear me complaining. 

Sex between magicians sure is great. I wonder what other magickal abilities Baz’s cock has? Was I right to assume earlier than Baz’s cock is magickal on its own? Is it because Baz is a fire magician and wanks a lot? 

I thought that was just my brain trying to cover up the fact that I wanted Baz and instead made up the whole ”Baz’s fingers and cock are magickal”, but could it still be true? Does it mean my mouth will become magickal now that I’ve given Baz a blow job? Will I be able to breathe fire like a dragon because of that?

# BAZ

I lean back against the shower wall. It doesn’t feel cold... if anything it’s too hot in here. Everything inside me is burning with Snow’s heat and the steam from the shower and something inside me, almost as if _I’m_ on fire…

Simon is on his knees in front of me. Aleister _Crowley_. How did we even get here? How is this possible? I keep waiting to wake up and realize nothing ever happened, that this was one of the most erotic and happy dreams of my life… 

Simon called me beautiful and he kissed me after… He also sucked my cock very enthusiastically before that… I fucked his mouth with my finger and licked his come and then sucked his cock and his bollocks. Those aren’t things I should be able to dream up, but alas I may be more talented than I initially thought myself to be.

I need to enjoy it, whether before I wake up to the bitter and cruel reality or if he leaves me when someone better comes along. It’s not like Simon Snow lacks in the suiter department. He’s been dating a lot over the summer. 

Otherwise why this sudden change in behaviour, something so very un-Snow like, something that screams unusual, out of the norm? 

Why would he have gotten himself a whole new wardrobe and a new haircut? He wouldn’t have needed to do any of that for me and he should understand that, Snow must be well aware by now how weak I am for him. I guess he needs all that for other people he’s dating. Can I really scare them all away with my fangs?

He’s licking my cock like a popsicle now and that just feels weirdly arousing. I want him to keep going and I also want to suck _his_ cock.

 _Crowley_. I want everything! I want him to take me back to my bed, put me on my hands and knees and fuck me deep and hard. 

Alright, perhaps I’m not exactly ready for deep and hard yet with Simon’s overly impressive sized mallet, but who would be? I’d need fingers first, and then a dildo that’s already big but is nothing in comparison to _Simon’s cock_. But I want it, I want his cock badly. As I previously stated, I want everything!

(Will I get to have it? Not only today but later as well? Will I get to have Snow forever like I want to, as I crave with my body, mind and heart?)

Simon is licking my bollocks now and takes them into his mouth. Does that mean he enjoyed me doing it to him earlier? (I’m enjoying him doing that to me.) 

I don’t have too much time to think about it, because Simon takes me into his mouth and is sucking so wonderfully, strong, determined, and confident. I want to savour every moment I get to spend with him.

Snow seems to have mastered the craft of blowjobs and I wish I didn’t have to worry about that as much as I do. I’m trying to think about him instead.

I ask myself again. What entity has gifted me with Simon? What god is responsible for the creation of perfection that is Simon Snow? I thought Simon was a god. Did he create himself? Is this the true example of Darwin's evolution?

Simon Snow — not simply a magician, but also a god, evolved from within himself. Perhaps that’s not how evolution for magicians works…

In all honesty, his cock and his mouth and Simon as a whole is so much more impressive than his magic. And Simon’s magic is unprecedented, no one has ever had what he has, but still, that _mouth_ , and that _cock_ and the tawny freckled skin, bronze curls, blue eyes are so much better than any magickal ability.

_Aleister fucking Crowley._

Simon’s mouth feels amazing on my cock and I accidentally buck hard into him. ”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” I hurry to say and he stops and releases my cock. Is Snow cross with me now, does he think I went too far, does he think I’m deviant? (Am I deviant?) (I wasn’t trying to do so, it was an accident.)

Snow looks up at me then. ”I want you to. Can you do it again?” he says and blushes.

Did I hear him correctly? Has Simon Snow asked me to fuck his mouth? Aleister _Crowley_. 

”Are you sure?” I need him to clarify because I want to do it _very_ much. However, this may or may not be my mind imagining things and not Snow actually saying it to me.

”Fuck my mouth, _Baz_ ,” he tells me and I almost squealed at that. _Crowley_ , Simon is hot when he talks dirty. (He’s sexy whatever he does.)

I slide down to him and kiss him, I don’t even ask if it’s alright. I’ve been kissing Simon for hours now. (I’m fairly sure it’s alright.) (I've been tiptoeing enough around everything that has to do with Snow. I should at least be able to kiss him in peace.)

What I want is to tell Simon that he is everything I could ever dream of and yet so much more.

I want to tell him that he is the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen. I want to tell him that he’s had my heart since I was twelve years old. I want to tell him how much I love him, that he’s _everything_. (I don’t dare to tell Snow any of that. It’s much too soon, it’ll scare him off.) But I still want to let him know how much he’s affecting me.

”That’s so hot,” I tell him and blush at my own bluntness. Simon smiles and blushes some more. He’s so lovely all rosy cheeked.

I’m feeling courageous so I lick his _blush_. 

_Finally_ , I'm licking everywhere the blush has spread. 

Simon’s pulse is quickening and beating in my throat, and the stirring of his blood calls for me to bite, but I’ll never hurt him.

After licking him very thoroughly everywhere he was flushed and also where he wasn’t for good measure, I get back up. Because I haven’t forgotten what Simon offered to do for me. I look at him, not entirely sure how to proceed. 

How do we go from me licking his blush back to Snow’s initial offer of me fucking his mouth and me doing that? 

I want _that._

Apparently I shouldn’t have worried. Simon takes me in his mouth. However, I seem to have frozen in place. I’m not doing anything, although I know what I should be doing, what I want to be doing. Oh how I want to be doing that — _fucking Simon’s mouth._

I did that with my finger and it went fine. 

Why should this be any different? Simon already sucked me off back in my bed, he was also sucking my cock earlier before the ”bucking too hard into him” debacle started it all and escalated up to this moment. I’m not sure why I’m this nervous. 

A moment passes and Snow looks at me expectably. Literally, his eyes almost certainly are saying ”What are you waiting for, you imbecile?!” That’s me. I’m the inexperienced imbecile here. I don’t know how to do it.

Will I accidentally choke Snow with my cock? I don’t know if that’s a realistic fear? However, how can I know that it isn’t? What if I kill him? Crowley, I’m finally with him (well in whatever dating entails exactly) and I let him choke to death on my cock. I can’t help but wonder if I might be overreacting by any chance?

Nonetheless, a human’s throat is a very sensitive part of the body. Of course, I’m not Snow’s godlike size, but I’m still above average. I’m worried because I don’t want to hurt Simon. 

Funny how I stay rock hard through all the nerves. It’s because Simon is this close and my cock is in his mouth, and I want him so fucking much. 

”I’m worried I’d hurt you,” I finally croak out. Snow looks at me with a puzzled expression on his face and releases my cock. I’m not sure what he thinks exactly. However, I am sure that I will get myself into a full on inward hysteria within seconds. 

But before I get to reach that particularly excruciating point of my mental state, Simon gets up and kisses me, wrapping his arms around me and I feel an instant calm spreading through my body and heart. 

Well calm, as in happy and extremely _aroused._ That sort of calm. Simon Snow affected calm comes with a hefty dose of arousal, it’s implied really.

You could probably call it a ”Simon Snow special”. I wonder for how long that will be on the menu and how much the menu is going to expand? It seems to be expanding at a rapid speed and I don’t mind going for seconds and thirds, but also, tasting new editions.

What would be the flavour of the week, I wonder. Is Snow always this randy or is it a periodic thing, something to do with the moon?

# SIMON

Baz worries about me. It’s very sweet of him, but he really shouldn’t. With the amount of food I’m used to showing in my mouth, I can fit more than should be humanly possible. It’s the thought that counts though. I don’t want Baz to worry. I kiss him. 

”You’re not going to hurt me, I promise,” I tell Baz when we pull a bit apart and hope he won’t worry. He seems to still be nervous. I kiss him again. Just in case my kissing acts as an anti-stress remedy for him, the same way his kisses affect me.

”Alright,” Baz whispers against my lips, and he may be smiling or something akin to smiling. 

# BAZ

I’m very close to hysterical laughter, (the happy yet unbelievable one.) The kind that almost makes one question one’s sanity or the lack of it.

Aleister Crowley. I _am_ living a charmed life. I had no idea I truly was. 

Simon is the best thing that could happen to anyone in this world. I harboured that particular knowledge for years, but I had no idea the extent of him being _a dream come true._

When Simon gets back down on his knees and takes me in his mouth, licking me all around first, looking eager I might add, ( _Aleister fucking Crowley_ , how am I this lucky?), I cradle his head gently in my hands and start to move my cock in and out his mouth, (not a real thrust perhaps). I’m going slow at first because I’m still worried and I want it to feel good for Simon. Does it feel good for him? 

However, it doesn’t take long before _he_ starts moving _my_ hips faster. _Crowley…_ I’ll go faster then. (I want that a lot, of course, I was just worried for Snow.)

# SIMON

I want Baz to use more force. I want him to work his cock in my mouth faster and harder because it feels _good_. I want to feel his cock, all of it. 

_Jesus fucking Christ._

It feels wonderful in a lot of ways. Because it’s him and we both enjoy it. Or at least I think Baz is enjoying himself too, he’s practically _growling_. And I’m pretty sure I’m the growler in this relationship. Both today and the week in the tree is a clear proof of my growling ability. Baz thrusting into me feels right; I feel full in a way I never felt with food. 

# BAZ

As I increase the speed, Snow moans around my cock. _Fuck…_ Snow must like it, he likes _me_ fucking _his_ mouth using my cock instead of my finger. His pupils are blown wide and there’s hunger sparkling in them. 

I’m half a step from full on growling and I might have felt embarrassed of the fact if I currently wasn't enjoying the sensation of fucking Simon's mouth to care about anything else in the world. 

I could catch fire now and wouldn’t care. Coincidently it feels as though I just might. It feels almost _magickal…_ I don’t have time to think about that, not with Snow moaning from my cock pounding inside his mouth.

I keep going and it feels so good, so exhilarating. There are no words to describe it; it’s pure ecstasy. Snow’s mouth is so warm and welcoming and is taking all of me in. I go as deep as I can now and Simon takes it all and just _moans_ hard and loud. (I can both feel and hear him around my cock.)

We maintain constant eye connection and it feels like we’re _connected_ . I keep gazing in Simon’s striking eyes and all I see is his desire. I think he fancies me at the very least a little if he’s letting me do all this. I think I have a chance with Simon, a _real_ one if I do things right.

I’ve been very careful, but the more time passes and the more encouragement I’m getting from Simon with his moans and eyes, I’m starting to thrust faster and harder. 

How hard _could_ I go? I don’t want to make Simon uncomfortable. I want him to like it, to enjoy himself. He doesn’t look uncomfortable though, just satisfied, more so than when I was fucking his mouth with my finger. I think Simon likes this a lot.

 _Aleister fucking Crowley._ It’s so hot. Simon is so fucking sexy. I’m pumping my rock hard cock in his mouth and it feels unearthly, it feels as if my body’s shot into outer space, to the stars, and it's enjoying the weightlessness and pure heavenly nirvana of it. It’s as if I’m not corporeal yet feel everything more _intensely_. I may be growling now because it feels that good.

# SIMON

Baz is incredible and so is his extravagant cock. To tell you the truth I never had something as posh in my mouth before, despite working at a posh bakery here in Hampshire. Baz’s cock is posher than that. 

This is the kind of a treat only crème de la crème get or whatever it is they call the _extra_ posh aristocratic people. I get to have it — Baz’s royal cock. How lucky am I? People go a lifetime without that. Well, I want everyone else to continue to go a lifetime without tasting Baz’s royal cock.

I want to be the only one with access, and I’m prepared to take lives in order to keep it that way.

I can feel Baz on the back of my throat while he thrusts into me. I love it; I both want and need more _, desperatly_. I try to lick his cock while he’s retracting. 

It’s almost impossible to explain how good it all feels. Him leading his beautiful perfect cock in my mouth. I want him to explode and let me taste his medicinal come. 

Will it cure me of all illness? Not that I have any, but will it perhaps prevent future illness? The way his come makes me feel, I could see it helping me become extremely healthy.

I may never have a cold after this. Baz is a magician and a vampire, but I don’t even think that’s the reason. I think it’s because of Baz himself.

_He’s perfect._

Baz’s cock is filling my mouth very nicely. It’s the perfect size to feel _incredible_ , to feel right. I wonder if it was predetermined for Baz’s cock to fit my mouth perfectly? 

I hope Baz likes my cock. I think he does, but I know I’m a handful. 

Of course, Baz is the most talented person on the planet. He somehow managed to gulp my cock down earlier and well, I had no idea that was even possible. I thought my cock wasn’t the kind of cock someone would want to put in their mouth fully — too butch. 

However, Baz did that and seemed to enjoy it too. I really hope he did enjoy it. 

It felt amazing to be inside his mouth and when he took all of me in, _Merlin_ , I could have died on sight from pleasure.

Now that I think about it, I start to wonder if Baz will even want to take me in his arse… Or will he think I’m too big for that? Based on the size of Baz’s cock and how his dildo looked through the window, I’m starting to suspect that I might be much bigger than the dildo. 

I think Baz’s dildo is the size of his cock. Which, of course, is a perfect size. That’s what I want in _my_ arse. Not the dildo, I’m talking about Baz’s cock here, obviously. 

Now I’m a bit worried he isn’t going to want my cock in his arse. But I don’t mind using my tongue and fingers and his dildo instead. It doesn't have to be more than that. Doing all that is already _my wildest dream come true_.

I just want Baz and his arse to feel _good_. I’d do anything for that to happen, anything he wants and needs.

# BAZ

” _Simon_ , I’m close,” I warn just in case Snow doesn’t want me to come in his mouth... but he doesn’t let go. His hold on my hips tightens instead and he’s pushing my cock harder into him. 

I come with an actual loud _grunt_ in his mouth, my breathing is rapid and I have to study myself with one arm against the shower wall. (I’m lightheaded from the euphoria that is _Simon_.)

_Simon is incredible._

I could never have dreamed about anything like that, him wanting me like _that_.

As I’m trying to catch my breath, I sink back onto the floor of the shower and wrap one arm around his back, moving some loose strands from his forehead with the other and caressing his face and neck.

Simon holds me tight, one arm around my waist and a hand up my neck moving all the way to my hair and gets tangled, and kisses me. _Crowley,_ I love him so much…

Please, don’t leave me, Simon. I won’t be able to go on without you. I don’t say it out loud, of course, but it’s all I can think about.

Well, not all precisely...

My turn now, I think and pin Snow to the shower wall before he gets any ideas about leaving. (I’m stronger than him.) Not that I’d hold him if he’d wished to leave. But he seems fine being here; in fact, he’s winding his hands in my hair and breathing heavily, looking exceedingly _aroused_. 

# SIMON

Baz got to his knees in front of me and I think he wants to suck me off. I was worried whether he’d want to do it again since I’m too bulky. 

I’m so glad he does want to put my cock in his mouth.  
  
 _His lips feel wonderful around my cock and so does his tongue._

Baz starts off slowly, like before, and I really don't mind. He’s incredible and I’m so grateful he wants to suck my cock at all.

I really hope my endurance has gotten better. But with it being Baz’s mouth I doubt very much I can hold out for long.

Baz is so pretty and so are his eyes. I can never look away. They’re constantly drawing me in. I _need_ to gaze into his beautiful grey eyes. Everything's better when I do. 

I also want to look at Baz, because watching him with my cock in his mouth is driving me completely _insane_. Especially when he looks like that as if he’s enjoying himself a lot.

It doesn’t take long before Baz takes me all in his mouth. 

_Jesus fucking Christ._ How is it even possible? How does he do it? 

Baz is incredible and I’m instantly on the brink of orgasm. I’m not going to be able to hold out while he’s sucking _so_ good and is looking _so_ satisfied.

# BAZ

I really want _him_ to fuck _me_ in my mouth. 

I can’t yet due to my present limited capacity of not being experienced in the craft. Nonetheless, I will one day, if I get to keep Simon and get to do this with him over and over again. (I want to spend the rest of my life on my knees, sucking his magnificent cock.)

I’m best on our football team and I don’t care about football even a fraction of how much I care, want and need Snow to fuck my mouth one day. I’m going to be devoted to that with all the willpower I have. (I’m a Pitch, therefore I have an abundance of willpower.)

Snow seems to like how I do things, what I’m capable of at the moment. 

” _Baz…yes…Baz_...” He’s constantly calling after me, putting my whole body ablaze. 

I’m tasting the glorious giant I get to climb with my mouth. I let myself enjoy the lengths of him and the thickness. I’m getting all of him inch by inch, at my own pace and slowly working up a bit of speed. 

My lips are curling hungrily and greedily around him, I crave his cock like air. 

The luxurious aroma of his precome, of Simon himself, is invigorating. I let myself relish in his taste and scent. I have beyond human ability and I let all my senses get drunk on Simon Snow and his incredible cock. (His cock is so much more intoxicating than his magic is.) 

I keep gazing into his extraordinary eyes (let’s face it; nothing about him is ordinary, his blue eyes are the colour of my love for him). Simon never looks away from me. I can't stand the thought of not seeing him. I have no idea why he’s looking back at me. I’m hoping it’s for a good reason.

” _Baz…I’m... coming...soon..._ ” Simon gasps. His breathing is ragged and he’s constantly moaning my name and _growling._ The growling is what does me in, what makes me think that I might be doing it right.

The stream of his lush come now filling my mouth and going down my throat is powerful and generous. I should be _savouring_ it, taking small gulps. However, I’m too eager, too desperate for his come.

I chug it all down as if I’ve been starving. And I was for years, _for him and his come_. When Simon is down from his climax, I lick him clean, not letting anything go to waste and because I enjoy licking him and the glory that is his cock. 

# SIMON

We’re taking a shower now as in really doing that instead of everything else. I want to help Baz, not because he needs help. Baz knows how to take a shower. I just want to be close to him, to _touch_ _him_.

”May I... wash you?” 

Baz looks at me very carefully and I’m not sure what it means, but then he smiles and says, ” _Yes_.” 

# BAZ

Of course, I want him to do it. I’m just wondering if Snow realizes how _intimate_ that is and how it’ll make me feel.

But who cares how heartbroken I might get later, I’m letting myself have it. 

I want to wash him, but he hasn’t said anything. Perhaps Snow doesn’t want my hands on his body. Or does he? How am I to know? He never tells me anything. It’s all very “MI5 hush-hush” where Snow’s preferences are concerned. 

# SIMON

I want to wash his hair. Am I allowed to do that? I like combing my fingers through his hair a lot, it’s so beautiful and smooth to the touch. Just as everything else about Baz — _his hair is perfect._

# BAZ

Snow wants to wash my hair and I shouldn’t allow that of course, it’s too intimate. (But I’m too weak for him and also I want him to do it.) I want to wash his hair but I’m afraid to ask. I don’t want to push him out of his comfort zone. (I still have no idea where it’s situated, the blasted comfort zone Snow keeps hidden from me.) 

Yet, I can’t help but wonder if I’m being overly cautious since we’ve had sex mere moments ago? 

However, it’s better to be safe than sorry. I don’t want to chase Snow away with my overeagerness.

I pick up the bottle and hand it to him. Snow applies shampoo all around my scalp, in gentle soothing movements, avoiding the ends and then does the same to himself.

That’s _interesting_... Has someone taught Snow not to overwork the ends? I hope it was the hairdresser and not a suiter Snow has showered with, and did other things with and might choose instead of me. 

Who is that person exactly? Will the human be afraid of my fangs if I try to scare said human away? Is it even a human? Snow seems to be overly open minded since he’s here with me, a half-dead on a good day, vampire…

I’m terribly worried now because Snow paying attention to anything other than food and swords is practically unprecedented. A lot has changed about him and I feel as though it doesn’t bode well for me at all. 

However, I want to enjoy this — _his hands_. Why can’t my brain let me have it? 

I almost laugh frantically at myself and Snow notices. Why is he noticing all I do lately? I’ve wanted his attention for years, craved it, but it’s not all always convenient is it?

# SIMON

”Sorry, am I doing it wrong?” I’ve never washed someone's hair before. Hell, after visiting the hairdresser yesterday I apparently hardly washed my own hair either. (According to her what I was doing was less washing and more abusing, her words not mine.) 

Baz’s hair reaches down his shoulders. It’s beautiful even wet, especially _wet_. (He looks so sexy.) I’m suddenly terrified I’m going to ruin his perfect hair somehow. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked to wash it.

”You’re not doing anything wrong,” Baz says and smiles.

I smile too. Then I wonder what I should do now. My shampoo, the one the hairdresser recommended, needs to stay in for a few minutes. Is it the same with this one? His must be the posh kind and I have no idea what to do with that. (I have troubles dealing with posh except for Baz, he’s very posh, especially _his cock_ and I seem to know exactly what to do, but it might be different with a hair product.)

# BAZ

Snow looks uncomfortable and for a moment I think he regrets it all, washing my hair, snogging me, being here with me, asking me on a date. (I might be prone to slight overreaction.)

”Um- do we wait?” Snow asks. What is he on about?

”Wait for what?” For him to break my heart once and for all?

He’s getting flustered.

”Well- should the- shampoo work first before rinsing it out?” He asks sheepishly. 

_Oh…_ All this agitation was about that. Why does Snow keep messing with my head by making me believe he’s breaking up with me? (If we indeed are together, the world of dating seems incredibly confusing.)

I soften my voice, brush my thumb across his cheek and kiss the other making sure not to smear any shampoo on his face. ”We wait a few minutes.”

I’m not sure how we’re going to spend those few minutes, but Snow apparently is. He starts kissing my neck, going up and down all the way to my collarbone and back. He might just keep going. Who cares about my hair? (Well I do, I care _a_ _lot_ , but still it’s his lips on my neck, and it’s just shampoo in my hair, not acid for Crowley’s sake.)

I’m ready to forget everything and just let him go on. Snow apparently has other plans.

# SIMON

I want so much to keep kissing Baz, but he’ll be very cross with me if I damage his hair in any way. (I don’t know if leaving the shampoo for too long is damaging or not, but I’m not willing to take that risk.)

Despite it being the last thing I want, I pull away from his neck. (I keep impressing myself with my willpower.)

”Close your eyes,” I say as I’m tilting the spray back to us. I carefully rinse off his beautiful hair, making sure no product is left on his scalp and massage it as the hairdresser did for me. (It felt nice so I’m hoping Baz will like that too.) 

I wonder for a moment if maybe Baz will think I’m moving too fast and being too pushy. Maybe he’d prefer to have some space and doesn’t want me following him around and even intruding on him in the shower.

But when I hear Baz sigh and almost purr, like a kitten (his face looks so _peaceful_ ), I feel instantly better. Maybe it’s alright then, maybe he doesn’t want space.

When I’m done with his hair, I wash off mine too. 

# BAZ

Simon is so caring and gentle with me, and it feels both wonderful and terrifying. Will he take it all away? Will he leave me after this is over, whatever it is he’s doing with me?

As soon as Snow looks uncomfortable once again I’m trying very hard not to overreact and hope this is just something else banal and unimportant that he’s inexplicably worried about.

I manage not to snap and keep my voice study and calm. ”Do you need help with something, Snow?”

_Well done, Basilton!_

Look at me, acting like a normal person.

He blushes, ”Which one is the conditioner?”

It seems I was right and Snow indeed is worried over the most banal subject in the world, or at the very least in this washroom.

I reach for it. ”Here you go,” I hand it over to Snow with one hand and cup his face with the other, lean in and kiss him and let my lips linger on his. (He almost stressed me out again and himself as well, apparently. I’m letting myself have it, his lips and the instant calm they give me and hope it brings Simon some peace too.)

# SIMON

Everything feels better when Baz kisses me. (I might need Baz for medicinal purposes, and also because I’m in love with him, that last one is _always_ implied.) 

I apply the conditioner in his hair and mine and get back to his neck with my lips while we wait for it to work. I’m glad I could do this with him, it feels nice, right.

But then I remember the hairdresser warning me how the hair masque needs to be applied _before_ the conditioner. 

_Merlin and Morgana._ I’m a dolt. Will Baz think less of me now that I apparently don’t even know how to wash hair properly?

However, I don’t know if Baz uses any, his hair is smooth and silky, so he has to, right?

”Do you- Did you need a hair masque before?”

Baz just smiles at me, ”Not today.”

”Oh, good... That’s good.” Well that was a close one, wasn’t it? I almost embarrassed myself in front of Baz with my poor hair care skills. I hope he doesn’t think I’m an idiot.

# BAZ

Snow knows too much about this. This is the same boy who was planning to **Clean as a whistle** himself every morning when we were 13 before Bunce talked him out of it. He also used school-issued soap as shampoo. 

What is happening to Snow? Why does he pay attention to the details all of a sudden? 

_Something is not adding up…_

# SIMON

I lower the water temperature and let it steer clear of Baz for now. (I don’t want him to freeze.)

”What are you doing?”

# BAZ

Snow looks self conscious _again_.

”Can’t use hot water to rinse the conditioner off?” He says and it comes out as a question.

Snow is correct but I really don’t like all the new knowledge with reasons behind that make absolutely no sense to me. 

If I could only be sure it’s for his own benefit because he’s doing it for himself, I wouldn’t worry, I’d be happy for Simon. (His curls are too beautiful to let them fray at the ends.) But he never cared before. 

Why now? What’s the difference? Is he doing it for himself or for someone else? Who is the person that has all this power over Snow?

 _I can’t compete with that_.

However, none of it matters at the moment because Simon looks devastated and I can’t have him looking like that.

”You’re right, _Simon_ ,” I use his first name on purpose, for his benefit more than mine this time. Snow seems happy when I do so. I also lean in and kiss him gently like he’s been kissing me. 

When we pull apart, Snow gifts me with one of his radiant smiles, making my heart melt. I always want him to smile, to be happy. I just prefer him being happy with me and not with someone else.

”You don’t have to move the spray though,” I say because the last thing I want is for him to overdo things and get bored with me.

Simon blushed, ”I didn’t want you to get cold.” 

Aleister _Crowley_. What’s with him being this soft with me? What does it mean? And he needn’t have worried, I felt borderline feverish since he came by and started excessively snogging me this morning. 

”I’m warm now, that you’re here.” 

_Fuck_ , I shouldn't have said that. Now he’ll be surely repulsed by my desperation and neediness. Snow will walk out of here right this moment and never come back, he’ll leave me all alone, heartbroken and shuttered.

How do I take it back? Is there a way to backtrack this whole conversation? Can I distract Snow by talking about _scones_?

But before I get to try, he’s pulling me closer, his arms around my waist, his lips on mine, our bodies pressed flush.

We’re snogging passionate yet gentle. I can barely recall my original train of thought because all I can think about is _him_.

_I’m kissing Simon Snow.  
_

# SIMON

Baz feels warm with me. I’m so grateful he feels this way. That’s all I want, for him to be warm and happy, and well also with me. The way Baz always kisses me back feels so good. I want us to kiss forever. ( _Well…_ Not only kiss…)

Washing Baz is both incredible and awkward. I have no idea where I’m allowed to touch exactly.

# BAZ

I want Snow to touch me _everywhere_. Does he want that too? Is that why he asked earlier if he could wash me? What does it all mean?

# SIMON

My hand is sliding on his arse, getting closer to his rim.

”Baz-” I start and am not entirely sure how to phrase it so it’ll sound _respectful_. 

I needn’t have to worry since he squeezes my other hand, kisses me and says ” _Yes_.”

_Christ…_

I want his arse so much. I want to do everything, to really get more acquainted with his behind. 

I’ll start by giving it a bath, lathers and bubble it gently in the shower gel. (It smells of cedar and bergamot, I think it’s the same shower gel as the one Baz uses at Watford.)

His bum is so pretty and perfect. (Not that I can see much from where I’m standing. We’re in front of each other. But I know what his arse looks like.)

 _Oh, Merlin_ , Baz is breathing heavily, I can hear that, his mouth is on my neck, trailing kisses. I think he likes this. I like it a lot. My hand is touching his arse but I don't dare to linger on his rim more than strictly necessary for a shower. Because I can’t do that to him here in a shower can I? And I don’t even know if he wants it.

I hope I will get to do that soon, to get to know his rim on a more _intimate_ level.

# BAZ

For a split second, I thought Snow would finger me, but he hasn’t. He probably doesn’t want to. I’m not actually disappointed, not after everything we’ve done. 

That would be far too greedy on my part. I’m _grateful_ for everything he’s done and let me have. More than grateful.

I never would have dreamt to get to experience even a fraction of what happened between us today. 

_Simon let me fuck his mouth._

I still can hardly believe it to be real.

Instead of thinking what Snow wants or doesn’t want, I snog him long and deep, as he does to me. (Will he realize how much I love him? I’m not sure I care anymore, it feels too good to abstain.)

Kissing him feels incredible. I need to keep him no matter what. I love Simon too much to be able to go on without him.

# SIMON

Baz is kissing me and it’s amazing. He’s _so_ passionate, it’s the best kind of snogging. Makes me feel that he cares a lot. I hope it’s true. 

I also hope Baz will _love_ _me_ one day the same way I _love_ _him_.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you [SimoneX](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimoneX/pseuds/SimoneX) for joining [mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow) and beta read this chapter. 💙
> 
> [Massive Addictive (Summertime) Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/5IC8aLivyxLPz1mvhITXvv?si=ziMGIGZJSiCvSQDdgowF8g). This playlist sets the mood for me. 😋


	20. Chapter 20

# BAZ

We get out of the shower. I wonder if something like this will ever happen again if we take another shower together. That it won’t be just the shower. That’s what I want. I’ll stay in the shower day and night if it means Simon will be naked with me, the two of us doing one erotic thing after another to each other. 

Does it count him washing me as an _erotic_ thing? I have no idea, but it felt incredibly intimate and I desperately want to experience that again. I also want to _wash_ _him_ if he lets me.

 _If_ there will be a next time, that is. If Snow decides he wants to come over again. That’s not a given. We still have a date to go on, and I plan to win him over. (I will have to lose the game in order to keep Snow interested in me.)

However, I hardly have time to think about that at the moment. Other, more pressing matters need to be addressed. I’m not used to being in the washroom with someone else. (It’s the first time for me.)

I’m extremely nervous because there are certain beauty care steps I have to make. However, I’m not sure how to proceed with Snow here. Will he think that I’m too preoccupied with myself? Will he think me too vain? Or will he think that I’m cheating in order to look better?

# SIMON

Baz seems to be nervous. Is he worried that I’ll embarrass him with my lack of knowledge about personal grooming, that he’ll have to explain everything to me like an idiot? 

I’d gladly learn new things as long as it’s something Baz is doing. Because if something is important to him, then it’s important to me too. Besides, it must be _right_. Baz can do no wrong. (That’s just common knowledge.)

# BAZ

Snow stays put next to me and looks at me expectedly. Does it mean that he knows I need more products and doesn’t mind?

 _Crowley_ here goes nothing. 

I get a few drops of my hair oil and spread it on my ends. ( _Yes_ , I need to put work into my hair, it doesn’t come out perfect on its own, besides I’m growing it out.) 

Could I do that on Snow’s hair too? Does he want that or would he mind, would it be too personal and therefore uncomfortable to him?

Snow’s smile is so earnest it gives me the courage to proceed and engage him on the subject of personal beauty care.

”May I?” I ask as I pick up the hair oil bottle.

# SIMON

Baz wants to touch my hair. _Merlin_ , of course, I want him to.

_I want him to touch me all the time._

This feels _very_ personal and intimate. I can’t be happier that Baz feels comfortable to take this new step with me. He hasn’t offered to wash me earlier so I thought maybe he’s not ready for that kind of intimacy towards me. (Not that I mind, I’m not in a hurry, I’m taking my time in winning his love.)

Does it mean Baz fancies me _more_ now? What have I done to accomplish that exactly? I can’t think of anything. 

That’s a real shame since I’ve been compiling a list of the _correct_ things to do to make Baz like me. (For example talk about food with him, he enjoys that a lot.)

”Yes, um- please.” Great snakes, am I blushing again? 

Baz stands mere inches from me. I can feel his breath on my face. It’s warming me up from the inside despite my body not being actually cold. But I feel as if I’m constantly cold and empty unless Baz touches me or looks at me with his perfect stormy eyes. (I’d happily drown in that storm.) 

His hands feel wonderful even though he’s mostly tugging and squeezing at the ends. I close my eyes involuntarily because it feels so good and I accidentally _moan_. I hope Baz doesn’t think I’m a moron. 

# BAZ

Snow is blushing and _moans_ while I apply oil to his hair. _Crowley_ , that’s going straight to my cock and I just came not that long ago. 

Does it mean he likes it? Does it mean he likes _me_ specifically doing that or just, in general, the oil in his hair? 

Oh, I don’t even care. 

_Simon likes it._

That’s enough for me to make me weak at the knees and make my heart flutter faster.

Would it be appropriate to kiss him now or is it against the rules since his eyes are closed and that’d be overstepping? What is the protocol on snogging exactly?

Should I call out to Snow so as not to startle him with my lips? 

I want to kiss him. 

” _Simon_?” I call for him.

Snow opens his beautiful blue eyes and smiles. I tilt my head down a bit and he’s meeting me halfway without any hesitation, full of keenness instead. (He always does, I’m still not sure why, does he want me this much or is there another more _logical_ and realistic reason behind it?) 

Is there a hidden meaning there? Could it be that Snow likes me despite dating as much as he does? Or is he this way with all his suitors? How many are there? 

_My mind keeps ruining everything._

However, the kiss is getting deeper. I let my hands wind in his hair, tugging firmly but gently on his curls. (They feel incredible to the touch.)

Simon finds his way to my derrière. He starts by palming and then goes on to squeezing my arse with both hands while we’re snogging and I’m finally free of all my thoughts and insecurities, (at least for a little while.)

# SIMON

The kiss feels everlasting and amazing. I get to feel Baz’s hands and lips on me while touching his perfect arse. 

I really want to touch his arse on the inside too. I wonder how it’ll feel. I have fingered myself that day after I saw Baz doing that and a few times other days. Theoretically, his arse should feel the same as mine. But shouldn’t it feel _elegant_ on the inside? Not that there was anything wrong with how my own arse felt, but I don’t have a posh arse. Baz has, it’s also incredible and beautiful. 

_I want to lick his posh arse._

Am I becoming a snob by any chance since I’m getting used to the luxury of tasting his distinguished and sophisticated cock _and_ touching his posh and flawless arse? (I want the royal cock both in my mouth and my arse and I also want to finally taste his perfect arse, I need it.) 

_I can’t imagine wanting anyone other than Baz._

Merlin, I _am_ a snob.

When we pull apart, Baz washes his hands and takes out a little bottle of liquid of some kind and a tube and looks a bit shy. 

Is that medication and that’s why he’s so nervous? Baz can be himself around me. Doesn’t he know that already? Or is that just some regular skincare? Does Baz think that I’ll think him less flawless because he uses beauty products? He’s still flawless and perfect. 

# BAZ

Snow smiles at me again. Alright then. I’m getting bolder.

I apply serum and moisturizer. Would he mind if I did that to him as well? Would he want that or does he think beauty products are beneath him because he’s too perfect?

Simon _is_ perfect, but his skin will thank him in 15-20 years if he takes care of it now.

”Would it be alright? Would you like me to?” _Crowley_. I can hardly get any words out. 

Why am I this nervous? 

_I fucked his mouth for Crowley’s sake!_

# SIMON

”I’d like you to,” I say and then ask out of sheer curiosity because honestly, I don’t care what Baz smears on my face, as long as it’s his hands doing the smearing and also if he feels more comfortable because of that. (Baz seemed more at ease after putting his oil in my hair for some reason.) ”What are those for?”

# BAZ

”It’s for your face,” I state out the obvious. Crowley, Snow just saw me apply the products on my face, he knows where they go. 

Now Snow will think _I’m_ a moron. I very possibly might be. It’s his eyes and smiles and blushes that are turning me into one, along with his growling. (It turns me into a very aroused moron.)

It’s all his fault, not that I’ll ever hold it against him. I want him here with me more than anything in the entire world. I’d gladly lose all of my intelligence for Snow. Despite it being the only good thing I have going for me. Still, it means nothing if giving it up would let me keep him.

However, this situation we’re in can be worse — Snow might assume that I think _he’s_ stupid. Simon isn’t stupid, he’s just thick (and so is his magnificent cock.)

Snow is still looking at me. Alright, I go for another try to explain myself.

# SIMON

”A hydrating serum and a moisturiser, so you’ll look younger when you’re older,” Baz says and he’s definitely blushing a lot.

# BAZ

”Look younger when you’re older?” I _am_ a moron. Now it sounds as if I’m selling the fountain of youth here. It’s only hydrating serum and a moisturiser, nothing else. Aleister _Crowley_. Why am I this nervous about a few simple products? 

As previously stated, _I fucked his mouth._ With some help, of course, I was terrified back then as well. 

Now that I think about it, I might be feeling frightened on every corner of this dating endeavour. (What is dating exactly? I need specifics so I’ll know how to navigate through it all.)

# SIMON

Baz looks so lovely when he’s blushing but I think he might still be shy for some reason. I come closer and sweep my thumb on his neck and behind his ear. (I want to touch his cheek but I don’t dare do that since he just applied products on his face.) He’s gazing in my eyes with a very serious expression that doesn’t seem happy. 

I tilt my head up to him and lean in like Baz did with me earlier. His lips touch mine and it feels so good. (It always feels that way with him.) I’m not sure what Baz was thinking earlier but he seems to be in a better mood while we're snogging. It might have been right to assume that Baz benefits from our snogging as much as I do while in distress. 

Not that I have any clues on to why Baz was stressing. Have I done something wrong? Have I already embarrassed him without noticing it myself? 

When our lips part I remember our conversation and answer him. (I wasn’t trying to be rude by kissing him instead of talking, he just seemed anxious.)

”I guess I need that, to keep up with you.” I chuckle but then worry if it came out too pushy. Baz doesn’t have to spend his whole life with me, I just really _really_ want him to. 

I also didn’t mean that he’ll live forever because he’s a vampire. Baz gets older every year just like I do. But he’s perfect and beautiful and he’ll always look good at any age, while I’m well — _me_. 

His eyes widen for a split second before he relaxes and smirks at me, ”I guess you do.”

# BAZ

I wonder what he meant by that... does Snow want to be with me for an extended period of time, years even? ( _Forever_ is what I want.) 

I don’t know what to make of it all but I don’t dare to hope. Futile hope doesn’t do one any good in the long run.

I put all those wonders and possible hopes away and apply serum and moisturizer on Snow.

# SIMON

Baz’s hands are moving around my face in circles and that feels more intimate somehow, more so than the blowjob was. (I had no idea that was possible.) 

Not that I didn’t enjoy having sex with Baz, I did and I want to do more to Baz’s cock (and his arse, that’s implied) and him to do more to me. 

What is he interested in doing? Would he want to fuck _my_ arse? Baz seemed to enjoy fucking my mouth a lot, (to the point of _growling_.)

But this— his hands on my face, it feels nice, as if he wants me here. 

It feels as if Baz doesn’t see me as a bother, a nuisance trying to breach his personal space with brute force like a bull or an elephant.

I might have closed my eyes again because it’s pleasant and wonderful. When he’s done, I open them to look at Baz. (I miss not seeing him for too long.) 

I hope he’ll snog me and he does. Baz also cups my face with both hands while kissing me. (I cup his arse with both of mine and squeeze it, that makes him chuckle against my lips.)

# BAZ

I think Snow truly fancies my arse. Snogging him while he’s holding onto it feels marvellous. He hasn’t fingered me in the shower. Yet while he’s handling my derrière in this manner, almost _possessively_ , I can’t help but hope that he might want that eventually. (Snow seems to be warming up to my arse.)

# SIMON

As we pull apart I start to worry that I may have distracted Baz with all the snogging. Is there more he needs to do? Shall I ask him or is that too personal of a question? I should ask.

”Do you need to do anything more?”

# BAZ

Is Snow not so subtly pointing out that I’m vain or is he genuinely curious? He hasn’t acted as horrified by my daily routine yet as I thought he’d be. Could that be true by any chance that he doesn’t mind and is curious? Am I gambling with fate by getting out my hand moisturizer? 

# SIMON

”I need to do one more thing. Would you mind?” Baz asks with a strained voice. Is it because he thinks I’m too stupid for this kind of things or is he nervous because of some other reason? Is Baz not as confident as I originally thought him to be? It sounds absurd but could it be true?

”I want you to,” I say even though I have no idea what we’re talking about.

Baz gets another tube out. 

# BAZ

”It’s for my hands. I have calluses… from violin practice,” I clarify and feel like a halfwit. Snow has calluses from an actual sword he uses in battle with life and death consequences. I have mine from playing a musical instrument. 

We’re never going to stand on equal footing, are we? 

I almost expect Snow to laugh in my face. He doesn’t. Instead, he asks me a bit shyly, ”May I put it on you?

I don’t quite understand what is happening. Still, I manage to give him an answer. ”By all means.” Why is he like this?

# SIMON

Baz blushes and hands me the tube. I squeeze some out but before I apply it on his hands I bring his palms to my lips and kiss them, and each of his fingers as well. That makes him sigh and look incredibly _happy_. (Mission accomplished.) 

I then start massaging the cream into his beautiful elegant fingers and his palms. 

I enjoy it a lot, doing this to Baz, him letting me. I let my fingers trace and linger longer on the calluses. That makes him smile. I like that. It smells like Baz’s shower gel — cedar and bergamot. It’s the scent that I’ve associated with Baz for years and missed whenever we were apart, despite not admitting that to myself. It’s the mix of the scent with Baz’s skin that is even better. 

_Everything's better when you add Baz to it._

Will this cream make them disappear I wonder? I'm not saying that Baz’s hands are less perfect or beautiful with hard skin on them. Of course not, Baz is perfect no matter what. I’m just curious if it helps, then maybe I could get me something similar at the pharmacy. (My hands are calloused.)

# BAZ

I’m trying very hard to enjoy the pleasure of Snow’s hands on me without being scared witless of him taking it all away. Because I want this, I want _him_. 

All this gentleness is making my heart skip too many beats. 

Yet I’m not foolish enough to pin my hopes for something real based on these sweet and soft gestures.

This can simply be Snow’s nature. Although I’ve never seen him treat anyone in this manner. Obviously I have no idea how he does things in the boudoir. 

”Could I do the same for you?” I ask Snow and almost panic since he has no idea if I meant kissing his hands or applying the moisturizer or both. (I meant both, of course.)

”Sure, I mean yes, _please_.” Is Snow nervous now? What shall I do? 

In the end, I decided to do the same as what he did to me. I wasn’t brave enough to offer to wash Snow but at the very least I should be able to summon some resolve for this. Simon gifts me with the biggest smile as I kiss his palms. 

# SIMON

I’m so happy I almost tell Baz he’s the love of my life since obviously I’m the biggest moron out there and don’t know how to behave properly. ”I- You’re wonderful.” That was a very close call. Was that also too much and too pushy? 

I seem to have startled him. Baz swallows and whispers, ”I like you too.” I suspected that Baz might like me since he followed me to the shopping centre like I used to follow him. (Baz is more stealthy than me though.) Still, I wasn’t sure if he just fancies me a bit or _really_ likes me. 

I finally know that!

To tell you the truth, I have no idea if it’s appropriate to snog Baz while he’s kissing my palms or not but I go for it anyway. He just told me he likes me. It feels as if my stomach just flipped in the best kind of way. (It’s a long way to go to love me, but it's the first step.)

# BAZ

 _Fuck_ , I went too far. I shouldn’t have said that. But Snow called me _wonderful_ , how was I supposed to react? I’m lucky I haven’t confessed to being hopelessly in love with him and dreaming of a perfect wedding and two children in my spare time. Unless what I said was practically an admission of loving him? 

Has Snow figured it all out and is he going to leave me because my love is unwelcome and too much of a bother?

Aleister _Crowley_. Right this moment would be a good time for Hell to finally swallow me whole and bring me where I belong. 

For whatever reason Snow doesn’t look stupefied and disgusted as I assumed he would. Instead, he practically jumps on me, without dropping my hands and presses his lips to mine in such a warm manner, I gasp from shock and pleasure and lose myself completely in his kiss.

# SIMON

Baz always kisses me back with so much feeling and he tends to smile against my lips. (I like that a lot.)

When we break apart, he takes hold of the tube and starts to smear the cream. (It feels nice.)

The thing is, not telling Baz how much I love him is extremely difficult. Especially when he does things to me.

I had no idea Baz would want to take care of me. Does it mean I’m not embarrassing him with my hands? 

Because let’s face it, they are awful. I look like a bloody farmer. 

Wait… No, that can’t be right… Half of Baz’s family are farmers and they are all very posh. Are they all posh? I’ve never met any except for his cousins Markus and Dev. They aren’t half as posh as Baz is. (No one is.) 

Are farmers a posh overclass that looks down on simple people? And who are these simple people the Mage keeps talking about, the kind that works for a living? Shouldn’t farmers count as simple people because they _also_ work for a living? And now that I think about it, don’t farmers work _harder_ than most people? Raising cattle, harvesting crops... 

That sounds like hard work to me, but what do I know… is farming considered a real job or not? I've been struggling to understand some things that the Mage says. 

Does he work for a living? He is the headmaster of our school but he’s never there. He isn’t fighting the Humdrum either. That's Penny and me. What is the Mage doing?

But I don’t want to think about the Mage or anyone else now. I want to think about Baz. (I’ve managed not to think about Penny since getting to the bedroom; I came fast but it seemed more prudent to only think about Baz while looking at his extravagant and delicious cock.)

And even if I wanted to think about anything else, I don’t have time and I am not capable of any kind of speculations when Baz hands are on mine. I can’t think straight when he’s touching me or looking at me or is close by. (Some things never change, I guess since that's been happening since our first year.)

# BAZ

We’re done now with everything. Well, technically, there are more personal care steps I prefer to do. However, I’ve tempted fate enough with Snow for one day. It’s time to leave the washroom before I accidentally offend Snow with my daily routine. (I haven’t yet, due to some inexplicable reason, but the day is still young.)

”Shall we?”

”Yeah,” he says and takes my hand. _Crowley_ , I’m holding hands with Simon Snow. 

I was planning to walk in front of Snow as I usually do to keep bringing his attention to my behind. However, Snow seems to have other plans. He tilts his head up and this time I don’t overthink it, I kiss him immediately as we’re exiting the washroom. Snow then continues with snogging me all the way to the bed. I wasn’t planning on going in the direction of my bed exactly. Well, my mobile is there and I need to check the time. I’d kid myself and believe that to be the reason for moving towards the bed. 

# SIMON

Baz can’t walk around with a towel around his waist and not expect me to snog him, he’s too alluring like this half naked… (Baz is always alluring, naked or not.) I don’t lick him, though I’m _very_ _tempted_ to. That’s incredible self control that I had no idea I was capable of. I already licked his stomach earlier in bed and also licked his chest in the shower and sucked his cock before he fucked my mouth. 

I don’t want to come on as overly creepy with the constant _licking_. Even though I want to do it very much. 

But now that I think about it, Baz licked my moles earlier while we were in bed, and my cheek in the shower when I blushed and then continued on the rest of me so maybe it would be alright if I do it to him again. 

Maybe it’s not even creepy to lick someone since Baz is also doing it. Nothing Baz can ever do is creepy because he’s perfect.

I’m going to lick him _again_.

# BAZ

The snogging turned into something else, something I had no idea I needed from him. As it turns out I _do_ need it, desperately. Snow starts by licking my neck and keeps going down my shoulder and collarbone, my chest, paying extra attention to my nipples, nibbling on them too and going all the way to my stomach— _licking_. 

Aleister _Crowley_ . He’s making me moan. Snow licked my stomach earlier in bed, and more of me in the shower and I enjoyed that. But this, he’s licking me this much — not only do I enjoy it, but I also _need_ it.

Simon looks up at me when he reaches the edges of my towel. 

”We need to get lunch,” I say through shuddered breathing because I know _he_ needs to eat to be happy. I myself want Snow to continue. It seems to be a very pressing matter at the moment with my cock aching from hardness and want for Snow. (I started getting exceedingly hard as soon as his lips and tongue touched me.)

You’d think I was done for today. I wanked this morning and came twice in Simon’s mouth since he came by to ask me out on a date.

I actually still remember that we have a date to go to later. How can I ever forget? That’s a dream come true. But I’m currently letting other dreams come true as well…

Snow locks eyes with me, ”Do we need to?”

Aleister _Crowley_. What’s with him refusing food in favour of me nonetheless? That makes no sense whatsoever. I’m not by any means complaining, I’m simply trying to wrap my head around this development and comprehend the situation properly. 

I can hardly speak with Snow this close to my cock. 

” _No_ ,” I breathe out, drop my towel and lean against the frame of my bed, with my hard throbbing cock pointing in Snow’s direction, (practically in his face.) 

_Crowley_ , when did I become this bold? I’m awkward, I’m not a gallant sex god like Simon Snow. Is he transferring his sexual boldness to me? Is that an actual thing? 

Is it Wizard of Oz kind of situation where I get my ”bravery” by Simon putting his cock inside of me, as in my mouth. (I wish it was first my mouth and then promptly my arse.)

_One step at a time, Basilton!_

That’s also not where things got stored in Wizard of Oz. Nevermind that...

Snow licks me on my lower belly and nips very gently. (I almost whimper because I want Snow to bite me. I’m very disturbed.)

His eyes widen (I think he heard me) and flick to my cock then back to me, ”May I?”

He should stop asking me that,” _Crowley, Snow, yes…_ ” 

Did it come out too desperate? 

I stop worrying because Snow got a huge grin on his face, he leans in and bites me while his hand finds its way to my throbbing cock and starts stroking me, painstakingly slow yet firm. 

” _Oh… Fuck..._ ” I can’t control my breathing all of a sudden. I’m panting too loud and I don’t care.

He bites me again harder on another spot, teeth scraping my skin as he moves his mouth along my body and sucks tender flesh on the side of my lower belly, without letting go of my cock, still stroking, still at a far too leisurely pace but firm. His hand is twisting around the head every time he gets there, just the way I like it. (Was Snow paying that much attention to me while he was in the tree watching me, or did he remember from the way I stroked him before or can it be that he just does it the same way himself?)

His finger brushes gently on top my tip, spreading my precome around while his lips continue to explore that one spot of my bare skin.

” _Simon-_ ” Was it a whine or a plea? 

I can’t be sure of anything except for one truth — Snow’s mouth is capable of incapacitating my brain cells. Even my violin can’t accomplish that. The best I can get is a distraction from the worst parts of my brain that just get too much in my way. But truth be told — my whole brain gets in the way. And Snow’s mouth can stop most of it. (I keep wondering what his cock would be capable of if it ever enters me?)

” _Yeees..._ ”

He’s still sucking on my skin.

_Is Simon Snow leaving another love bite on me?_

I want that! I want him to mark me. (Maybe he’ll keep me then. Is that how it works?)

The first one hasn’t disappeared yet. (I’m not sure how long it’ll last, it’s my first one but might not be the last if Snow’s enthusiasm is any indication.)

He keeps sucking while one hand is stroking my side and the other my cock, leaving goosebumps with every touch. 

# SIMON

Baz likes it a lot when I bite him. (The noises that come out of his mouth combined with what’s written all over his face almost make me come on the spot.)

That’s why I keep going after that one nibble. I like it myself too. (Who knew I was a biter?)

I also hope it will hint very clearly Baz in the direction of biting me with his _fangs_. (I was not subtle this time, of that I’m sure.)

Funny how I spent years thinking Baz doesn’t use vulgar language. Apparently anything goes when he’s on the brink of losing control and is this aroused. Baz seems to enjoy me stroking his beautiful cock a lot. I want to prolong his pleasure for as long as I can, so I go slow. 

The knowledge that it’s my mouth and my hand that is responsible for his swearing, puts me on an instant brink of orgasm and losing control. (I could explode right now if I’m not careful.)

I’m leaving another love bite on him. I really hope Baz doesn’t mind, because it’s hard not to do it, his skin is so inviting. The first love bite I gave on his neck is still there. (It looks lovely.) It makes Baz moan and his eyelids flutter so I think he’s okay with this. He has the prettiest eyelashes — black and long and perfect. I hope I get to kiss his eyelids one of these days, but I’m worried he’ll think it’s creepy. 

Baz both looks and tastes _luscious_. I know what the word means, or better to say I remembered it just now all of a sudden. Is his cock improving my memory by digging up any useful information for when I’m looking at Baz or tasting his lips and his cock? 

I also want to taste his arse. When will I get to do that? Will tasting his arse give me any other superpowers or enhance what I have? Will I become a genius with perfect recall?

His cock is extraordinary and is acting recklessly while jerking against my hand, I love that. (I love when both Baz and his cock are _losing control_ because of _me_.) 

# BAZ

I need Snow to keep going, which he does. And it’s just as marvellous every time. I can’t stop looking at him. He’s so beautiful. I wonder if he’s going to get me off using only his hand.

I think maybe not, because Simon kisses my cock on the tip and all around the base. He proceeds to literally go up and down with his lips, sliding them over my cock, moaning as if it’s he’s the one that’s getting unbelievable divine pleasure and not me. 

_Aleister fucking Crowley._ Why would he even want to kiss my cock this much? I want him to, I want it desperately, despite only realizing it now. Snow is teasing my cock with his lips and I’m on a verge of losing any resemblance of control. 

” _Simon_ , I- I like that,” is what I manage to say instead of confessing my undying love for him.

There’s something in his eyes I can’t read. It seems almost _tender_ as if he’s fond of me unless it’s my overly vivid imagination speaking.

# SIMON

Baz is so beautiful. I want to look into his eyes forever and hear him talk. About anything, just hearing his voice makes me _hard_. (Everything about him makes me hard.) 

And every time Baz tells me that he enjoys what I’m doing _my heart swells_ and I get butterflies in my stomach.

I love Baz so much, I want him to enjoy himself all the time. That’s the main reason for me to do things with him. That and also because I enjoy it myself a lot too. It’s double satisfaction when it’s the both of us that experience pleasure.

The tip of his cock is as incredible as the rest of it. Dark and full and delicious looking. His tip is the _real_ crown since it’s a royal cock. Or wearing a crown. I’m not good with all the words and expressions. It’s a gorgeous royal prominent cock that deserves respect and adoration and full loyalty. (I have no quarrels with that. I’m _extremely_ _loyal_ and smitten with Baz and his cock.)

I’m taking my time with his cock, it needs to enjoy itself and it needs to be taken care of. I want my mouth to always take care of Baz’s cock, I could be one of its royal guards. (I mean as a singular guardianship. I don’t need any help guarding his cock, and I certainly don’t want any either.) If that was a profession I’d do it.

I’m enjoying his taste so much. I like how his precome tastes a lot, and Baz himself too. I want more of him. I want everything that is connected to him in any way. I’d try whatever Baz wants. What does he want? And why has he not bitten me yet?

# BAZ

The kisses are getting sloppier, and Snow’s tongue seems to be joining in for the fun. 

_Is it fun for him?_ (It sure as fuck seems that way doesn’t it?)

” _Oh… yes..._ ”

He’s licking now in between kisses and I try to stick to moaning and gasping since I might proclaim my love instead of saying anything else, literally anything else.

Eventually, Snow takes me whole, doesn’t even pause. (That’s how good he is.) And it feels _incredible_. Not better than the kissing and the licking, just different. 

I love everything he’s doing to me. Both because it’s him and because he’s so fucking great at it. Furthermore, I’m conflicted and am leaning to the possibility of him enjoying himself. It sure looks like he is, isn’t he? Snow is _moaning_ around my cock. How am I not to draw certain conclusions?

Who would have thought that this is how my day’d turn out, with Snow on his knees in front of me, sucking and licking my cock while looking both eager and satisfied. (I’m still not entirely convinced any of it is actually happening outside of my mind.)

He’s moaning so hard, it makes my cock vibrate. _Crowley_ , it feels heavenly. It looks extremely aesthetically pleasing, with Simon’s head moving towards me swallowing my aching cock without a beat, licking around it. (It always aches for him, just as I do.) 

Every time Simon’s mouth reaches my tip, he’s flicking his tongue on it and keeps swirling it around, while holding me in a tight grip, making me feel weak for him and his tongue. It feels exhilarating, electric. Everything is that good. 

Watching his lips around my cock makes me dizzy. I’m grateful for the headboard I’m leaning against, my legs might give up from sheer happiness and euphoria any minute. 

This is the third time Snow takes my cock in his mouth, _willingly_ I might add. I haven’t suggested it myself even once. I don’t dare to do that. I don’t want to push him or appear overly needy. (That’s unattractive and will surely repulse him.)

# SIMON

 _Oh, Merlin._ You can’t really blame me for thinking Baz was hiding a _huge_ weapon under his towel. 

_Just look at his big beautiful cock._

I can’t get enough of it. I want to suck it every day, more than once. How many times could I get to suck it per day? Is there a limit I wonder?

How much is too much? I hope the answer is that ”there’s no such thing as too much”.

I need Baz’s come on a regular basis. It’s for medicinal purposes as well as for pleasure. By now I’m completely convinced that his come is very beneficial to my health. And let me tell you, when I get something in my head it’s practically impossible to ever change my mind on the subject. I’m pretty sure the phrase ”set in stone” refers to my brain’s non flexible capacity. 

Besides, even if Baz’s come isn’t really medicinal, I still want to consume it on a regular basis. 

First of all, we should never forget there’s something called ”placebo effect”. (Penny taught me that.) It’s when one believes something to be true so intensely, with so much ferocity and willpower, it becomes true. 

Well, I’m known for believing in certain topics with all my willpower and the intensity of a thousand swords. _Oh, Merlin,_ now a different kind of sword is taking over my mind, the kind that Baz has, that I’m currently sucking and want to suck as often as he’ll let me. ( _I think my sexuality might have ruined swords for me forever._ )

What was I thinking about? Oh yeah, why I will keep believing in the medicinal qualities of Baz’s come. 

It’s because I’m stubborn like a bull or a mule or a donkey. (Whichever is the most stubborn one.)

And the second thing is — Baz’s come is delicious; it’s the kind of incredible piquant treat I never thought I’d be getting a sample of (several samples today, actually.) I’m not sure my palate is refined enough for it. 

Now, I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate all the different nuances in flavour of his come, because I do. I just mean that while I’m nothing special, his come sure is. 

I don’t deserve Baz’s come and I certainly don’t deserve Baz. Still, he’s extremely generous and lets me have some despite that. 

He knows me better than anyone (except for Penny), so Baz knows I don’t deserve him yet. But I also hope he sees all the effort I'm putting into my improvement. I’m trying to become worthy of him. 

For example, I have managed not to pull on my hair even once, neither yesterday nor today. I also used a napkin both days to wipe my mouth and I’m taking small bites while eating and not keeping my mouth open for no reason. Except for when Baz was fucking my mouth. (I was keeping it open for his beautiful royal cock, to fill me the way I need to be filled. That was a very valid and important reason.)

I’m also shoving Baz’s extravagant and luxurious cock down my throat fast and eager right now, but that’s because his posh cock is that _appetizing_. (You can’t blame me for that.)

I want Baz to fill my mouth with his medicinal come and make my mouth feel full and _satisfied_. The way Baz gasps and almost groans, his hands tightening in my hair almost make me come myself. 

All the positive responses from him and the feeling of his luxurious come finally running down my throat is curing me of any insecurity regarding my sexual inexperience. I seem to be doing good with his royal cock. I might not need to worry as much. And you were doubting his come’s healing abilities. 

_Baz as a whole human being is medicinal!_

# BAZ

Snow and I are lying in my bed together, _snuggling_ . We relocated there after I came in Simon’s mouth. (He swallowed me _again_.) I can’t help but wonder if this might mean that Snow likes my cock and my come. Is that even possible? It certainly points in that direction… unless I misread the signs, somehow. 

I don’t want to spoil all the fun we’ve been having with unnecessary hope. (However, Snow isn’t making this easy for me.)

I can feel Simon under me. Our cocks are cradled between our stomachs, our whole bodies pressed together. I haven’t tried going after Snow’s cock, I was worried I’ve been coming on too strong this whole day as it is. After leading him to my bed yet again, all the memories from earlier of Snow’s distress when we relocated there and he seemed to be almost in trance and extremely nervous, came flooding back. I didn’t want him to feel pressured into anything.

I’m not sure if I should have worried or not. Snow seems comfortable right now. He’s touching my lips with his and goes on to my neck, kissing it and licking, while his hands are roaming my shoulders, my back with regular groping of my derrière. (It’s incredible.)

Crowley, I love the licking! (I love everything he does.) Snow is nibbling on my earlobe just like he did earlier today, it makes me _shiver_. (Do I dare to hope it’s not just an occasional nibble and might happen again?)

All I want is for him to go on but I need to think about his needs. 

”Are you hungry?” I ask while trying to find some skin to put my lips on. (Will he mind?)

# SIMON

How did he know what I was thinking about? Is Baz a mind reader after all? 

_Oh_ , wait, is he talking about lunch? He did mention something about that before I put his cock in my mouth. 

The truth is that I’ve been so busy thinking about Baz’s arse and his cock to think about food or anything else. Those are more important and pressing topics as thinking about them makes my cock ache with hardness and I feel it _pressing_ against Baz… 

But maybe we should eat if we’re going to have more sex. Might need the energy. And what if my stomach will start to rumble in the middle of me having my cock in Baz’s mouth? (If he decides to do that again, of course, he already did it _twice_. I just like to be prepared for a mission.) 

I want to suck his cock again and just keep sucking it for as long as possible. But I also really need my cock in his arse. When will I be able to do that? Will Baz let me do it? Does he _want_ it? It has never been confirmed. But he seems to enjoy me groping his arse, so I hope that’s a good sign for at least him being open minded about my fingers or me fucking him with his dildo. (I’m still worried that my cock might be out of the question.)

# BAZ

”I could eat,” Snow adds then “Just in case,” and blushes.

Just in case of _what_ exactly? I need to know what he has in mind. It might be something of a _sexual_ variety. 

Now I am completely convinced that Snow indeed likes doing different erotic things with me and to me. (I really would like to hope it’s because it’s me, _specifically_ , but I am not an actual moron, so I don’t.)

I leave Snow in bed, get hurriedly dressed and tie my hair before it looks like a complete disaster, drying on its own the way it does. (We will need to do something about our hair before we go on our date.) 

All of our things were scattered around the bed. I look at them. Snow came while still dressed. He might not want to use his pants again but I’m not sure about the rest of his clothing.

I have troubles with using what’s fallen on the floor myself, not sure if Snow feels the same. Before the summer I would have said that Snow doesn’t care about what’s on the floor and what is not if the state of his side of our room back at school was any indication. However, this time I’m not making any assumptions since Simon Snow has been acting extremely _odd_.

”Simon _,_ your-” I start and not sure how to phrase what I want to say in the most appropriate way.

# SIMON

I came in my pants so I obviously can’t use them. (That’s what Baz is hinting at here.) I could just put on my trousers and the button up. But I know for a fact Baz never wears things from the floor. (We shared a room for seven years, I know how Baz is better than anyone.) I don’t care as much. (His floor looks clean.) But I wonder if maybe Baz won’t be comfortable touching _me_ if I’m wearing my discarded clothing. (I want him to touch me, all the time.)

”I have nothing else to wear,” I say. But before I get to ask him to spell my clothing clean Baz says, ”You can have my clothes, if you want.” I do, very much. But I don’t want him to feel pressured to lend me his clothes.

”If that’s alright with you if it’s not a bother.”

”No bother at all. If you don’t mind,” Baz says and blushes. 

I get up from the bed and walk over. 

”No, I mean _yes_ ,” I’m too excited about Baz letting me use his clothing to make any sense. ”I want to wear your clothes.”

”Good,” he says and I kiss his pink dusted cheek and his lips. Baz smiles when I do that.

# BAZ

Before I leave downstairs Snow and I place all our clothing that has been laying scattered around my bed in the wash bin. (He volunteered to help.)

”I’ll bring you something clean from the laundry room,” I tell Snow. He smiles at that.

# SIMON

”Sounds great.” I can’t wait to wear something of his. I also want Baz to put on _my_ clothes. That was half the reason for buying new clothing. That and because I didn’t want to embarrass Baz on our date looking like a chavvy Normal.

# BAZ

Vera did laundry yesterday and I know for a fact that my football jersey is downstairs. I get my wand so I can spell it and a pair of jeans unnoticeably (I only own extremely snug jeans) a bit bigger to give to Snow and let him assume it to be the only clothing that’ll fit him. (I’m not sure if that is considered dishonest behaviour since I have no malicious thoughts in mind.)

”Will ham and cheese rolls be alright for lunch?” I ask Snow but I already know he likes them. 

”Yes, I like them a lot, actually. I can help,” Snow offers but I don’t need him there, not if I’m to successfully alter my football jersey. Besides, he’s worked long enough on his knees. The least I can do is make us some lunch.

”No need, you’re a guest.”

Snow gives me a contemplating look, ”You already used that excuse once before.” Why is he paying attention to everything I say? I have to be extremely careful, there can never be a repeat of what happened at the bakery. While I was trying to flirt with Snow my mouth was instead spewing one insult after another and saying the most inappropriate things.

”Vera must be in by now, she’ll help, I’m sure.”

Snow looks confused so I clarify, ”Vera is my- was my nanny when I was growing up.” I’m not ashamed to admit that. (The woman practically raised me.) But I’ve still gotten flustered explaining myself. 

It was foolish of me to bring unnecessary attention to my father’s money. 

The Mage must have convinced Snow that the Grimms are a greater enemy than the Humdrum can ever be. 

And let’s not forget how much the Mage hates my mother and takes pleasure in blackening her name and tormenting her legacy, removing any creative subjects or after class activities like the drama society from Watford. Who needs art and linguistics when every child should become a soldier? 

Even some of our cookbooks are banned. Because there’s clearly no bigger abomination and threat to the World of Mages than a _home cooked meal_? (It’s been centuries, at least, since the Pitches ate fairies.) (Was the Mage’s family holier-than-thou centuries ago? I doubt anyone’s family was.)

Snow will surely be reminded of everything that’s separating us. 

He’ll look down on me for living ”the good life”, nevermind that the only reason I needed a nanny is because my mother was murdered. 

# SIMON

Baz is blushing and looks extremely tense. He shouldn’t. Of course, he had a nanny growing up, he lost his mother when he was only a toddler. (I don’t exactly know when but he was still very young.) Was he supposed to take care of himself as a child? 

I grew up alone in care homes because no one wanted me or cared about me. Now that I think about it, I can’t get why the Mage kept sending me there. I’ve learned better social skills and language (the non-swearing kind) while working at the bakery than I ever learned at the care home. He probably just didn’t want to have to deal with me himself, because I’d only be a bother and in the way. I’m only his heir on the paper so I could go to Watford. He isn’t my family. I don’t have one. (Penny is the closest thing I have to one.)

But Baz has a family, a father who cared enough to get him a nanny, someone to take care of him. That’s something every child needs. (I dreamed of having a family since I knew what it was.)

Baz had enough troubles with mourning his mum’s death and coming to terms with being a vampire. At least he had _someone_.

I lace our fingers together and try to smile at him in the most supportive way so he’ll know how sorry I am for everything that happened to him and how happy I am that he had someone to take care of him while growing up.

”Vera must’ve been a good nanny if you turned out so great,” I say to try and soothe him and also because I want to tell Baz how great he is. 

There’s so much I want to tell him, but it always seems to be bad timing or inappropriate since we haven’t even been on a date yet. 

Courting doesn’t give one the right to be _emotionally_ _pushy_. I need appropriate reasons to bring up how wonderful Baz is so he’s not overwhelmed by my love and gets uncomfortable since he’s not ready for it yet.

# BAZ

I don’t know how to respond to that because I don’t know if he’s joking, being sincere or saying something entirely different and I misheard. ”She was, and she’s very kind and thoughtful. Vera is like a grandmother to me,” is what I end up saying.

Did Snow call me _great_? If that indeed is to be true, what does he mean by that? Is Snow fond of me or is he possibly hinting he liked the sandwiches I made for us earlier? That must be it. 

I’m noticing now that I’m dressed and Snow’s naked. I like him naked of course. (I prefer it actually.) However, this might be one of those boundaries of the comfort zone I know nothing about so I offer him my dressing gown. 

Snow looks confused and then frowns and I wonder if he finds my dressing gown too intimate to use and is going to be more uncomfortable than naken. Or is it because the clothing is embroidered with my initials? Does it seem too personal to him? (Is it a mistake to give him my football jersey to dress in later?)

My dressing gown is the most beautiful colour — the colour of his eyes, made of thick cotton since I get chilly even during the summer. (Not now, not while Snow is here.) 

# SIMON

Baz is holding out a dressing gown, his dressing gown. I take it. Is Baz worried that his nanny will know about us? Does he not want people to know? Is he that embarrassed by me?

”Or would you prefer something else?” Baz asks and looks a bit worried all of a sudden. 

Now that I think about it if Baz truly didn’t want anyone to know or suspect about us, he wouldn’t have offered me his _dressing_ _gown_. That’s not appropriate clothing to wear in one’s ”just friend” bedroom early afternoon. 

This seems more of an ”I’ve been recently shagging” outfit. It means that Baz is not embarrassed by me and that makes me very happy.

”No, it’s fine. I want to wear it,” I answer and can hardly contain my happiness. 

The gown also feels really nice against my skin. Before I saw Baz this summer, I just assumed that he’d walk around dressed in all kinds of ridiculous clothing. The Mage is dressed as Robin Hood. So I thought every powerful magician dresses like a tit. (Baz is very powerful, he shows it during every lesson.)

That’s why I may have expected a very long (draping over the floor), golden silk dressing gown with dragons and other creatures on and wide sleeves? 

But his looks like a regular one. It’s not too long, even on me and I’m three inches shorter than Baz. It’s very soft but not silk, maybe cotton. There are no magickal decorations on it either except for Baz’s initials embroidered on the chest, next to the Pitch coat of arms (flames, the moon, three falcons). 

I’ve seen it before because he carries embroidered old-fashioned handkerchiefs. I always thought he did it to show that he’s better than others, but now I think it’s because Baz is a bit old-fashioned (he was raised by an elderly woman after all.) He’s also a bit of a nerd. (The kind I want to snog senseless because he’s smart and hot and funny.)

That’s a very _personal_ dressing gown Baz gives me to wear. I like that he shares personal, intimate things or moments with me. (Makes me think we’re getting closer, that he’s warming up to me, getting used to me and doesn’t mind me.) 

The gown is blue, not golden. Now that I think about it, most of the things Baz has around his bedroom are _blue_. 

I’m still not sure why blue is his favourite colour, could it be because of my eyes? I’m not saying that because I’m full of myself. It’s just that grey and black are _my_ favourite colours because of Baz. And I keep wondering if it’s the same for him. (At least that’s what I hope for.)

# BAZ

Snow is beaming all of a sudden while looking at my dressing gown and putting it on. I can’t comprehend this sudden change in his mood. Nonetheless, I’m not going to look the gift horse in the mouth. 

I take this opportunity to snog Snow. He welcomes my advances by kissing me back passionately and gently (like he’s been doing all day) while groping my derrière all the way to the door.

”I’ll be back shortly,” I tell him as I finally manage to untangle myself from Snow. (By that I mean, of course, that I couldn’t bring myself to do that because I didn’t want to but had to put his health and need of food first and my desire for him second.)

”Can’t wait,” he says and smiles.

Can’t wait for food or for me to get back? No, it can’t be me, it must be the food.

I leave for the kitchen with the picnic hamper to get us lunch. 

# SIMON

Baz is going to get us lunch. I miss him already. Is that weird? I also miss his arse. It’s strange to neither see it nor feel it with my hands or even know that it’s _nearby_. 

I need Baz’s arse and Baz himself nearby at all times for my own peace of mind. I need to know that he’s safe and that no one is trying to hurt him or steal him from me.

I now notice that I like wearing his dressing gown a lot (because it’s _his_.) I should feel vulnerable because wearing it is practically the same as being half naked. And it’s barely covering my chest. (I only tied it loosely.)

But I don’t _feel_ vulnerable, I feel at ease. I haven’t felt uncomfortable even once since I got here. Baz makes me feel safe. (Even yesterday at the shopping centre, everything felt good because he was with me.) I’m not used to feeling that way around other people or anywhere that isn’t our room at Watford. (That could be because of all the years living at the care homes and feeling threatened.)

But now that I think about it, I always felt safer and fell asleep better while listening to Baz’s breathing. I just thought it was because it meant I knew where he was, that he wasn’t plotting against me somewhere. But well, why would he need to _leave_ in order to plot? I’m sure if Baz wanted to do that, he’d manage it anywhere. I felt safe sleeping in our room because Baz was there even if I couldn’t admit that to myself then.

Baz is very compassionate and considered. No one ever treated me the way he does, this gentle and kind. He also keeps asking me, always giving me the choice with everything. I’m not used to that — _having choices_ . I hardly know what to do, except when it comes to Baz. It’s easy to choose him because that’s the only right choice because _I love him._

# BAZ

Vera greets me as I enter the kitchen, ”Basilton, I put away your friend’s shoes in the wardrobe.”

 _Oh_ , I forgot about that. It’s not like me, but clearly being expertly snogged by Simon Snow can do that to one. ”Thank you, Vera.”

Vera is kind enough to help me with ham and cheese rolls. I add two sticks of butter (will that be enough?) and another carton of juice to keep Snow’s fruit sugar high up. I need him to be in a good mood for minigolf. 

”We have enough baked goods as it is, _Mr. Pitch_. There’s no need for more,” Vera tells me as a matter of fact but I can clearly see that she’s taken offence. Vera cooks and bakes for us and she prides herself for her skill. She isn’t happy with me bringing someone else’s baked goods home.

I should say something to soothe her pride, but I’m not good with that kind of thing. The least I can do is try to explain.

”Simon, my- He’s not my friend,” I say because he isn’t in the common description of the word. ”Simon is my-” I choke on the words because I don’t even know what Snow and I are. 

I know what _he_ is to _me_ . That’d be _the love of my life_. 

However, that’s not how he feels about me. How can I define what we are, when he doesn’t tell me what he wants? Are we together? (We haven’t even been on one date yet.)

Vera takes pity on me and offers up with a soft smile, ”Your young man’s name is Simon?”

I clear my throat. ” _Yes_ , Simon has a summer job at a bakery here in Hampshire,” I say and add to clarify my sudden craving for two dozen scones. ”He bakes himself.”

Vera nods, ”Ah, how lovely.” She might have forgiven me now. Nonetheless, I still need to get her something, an apology and a peace offering. My nanny collects porcelain figurines. There’s a store that sells them. I should drive up there tomorrow. 

I trust her not to mention anything to my father. I want to be the one to tell him. I’m going to take the cowardly way out and send him a text message later. I could always kid myself with him being at work and not needing unnecessary disturbance of a phone call. (It never stopped me before, but let’s pretend that’s the reason.)

I do send a message to Fiona while waiting for the rolls to warm up in the oven. (I do so both due to oven warmed rolls having a better texture and because I try not to use magic around Vera. It all gets too much for her and then Father has to spell her innocent.) I want her to know before my father does. Furthermore, I strongly suspect the first thing Father does when he hears about this will be to call my aunt.

 **Me** **(15:13):** Fiona, I’m going on a date with Simon Snow this afternoon, wish me luck.

 **Fiona** **(15:14):** The Chosen One is the bloke you met? Jesus Christ!

 **Fiona** **(15:14):** Are you insane, Basil? He’ll kill you if he finds out you’re a vampire.

I tap my fingers impatiently. I wasn’t planning on a long conversation.

 **Me** **(15:15):** Simon already knows. 

Fiona makes a pause in messaging, finally. There are three dots dancing on the screen...

 **Fiona** **(15:20):** Can you trust him?

 **Me** **(15:20):** Yes, I trust Simon with my life.

 **Me** **(15:21): Unsent** _It’s my heart I shouldn’t trust him with…_

 **Fiona** **(15:22):** Alright then. Good luck on your date, boyo.❤️ I will curse him if he breaks your heart! It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. You can tell him that. 

**Fiona** **(15:23):** Should I tell him that myself?

 **Me** **(15:23):** Thank you. No!

After placing food and drink along with some plates, glasses, cutlery and clean napkins in the hamper I take the beautiful flower arrangement Simon presented me with (that I’m going to cherish forever) and get back to my bedroom, to Snow with our lunch.

Simon and I end up having a nice meal on the foot of my bed again. I made sure to offer him a lot of food, juice and dessert. (Snow is always hungry, well he seemed less so today, but maybe I misunderstood earlier.) In any case, it’s important that he feels comfortable here, I make sure he doesn't have to ask himself for seconds or thirds of anything.

Simon seems to be very excited about the juice in particular, and I need him to be happy and satisfied so he doesn't get bored. 

”Would you like to visit the washroom to-,” I start and pause to think of a nice way of putting “gargle with mouthwash”. It’s too early to brush our teeth yet (I’m going to ask Snow to stay the night after our date). 

But now as I actually hear what I just said, it might have come out wrong. Snow is looking at me, not a peep from him, but his eyes are wide and cheeks flushed. Does he think I’m proposing another blowjob in the shower? Does he now think I’m demanding sex of him?

# SIMON

Is Baz proposing to get back to the shower to have sex? I really hope he is. I feel a bit bloated after all the food, chocolate, biscuits and juice Baz was _politely pushing_ onto me. (Why so much? Is it because he’s planning on finally biting me?) But, I don’t mind shoving Baz’s cock down my throat. 

_I want to do that all the time._

That’s the greatest dessert ever. Or does he want to bite me in the washroom? Could I get him off while he does that? Or he could get me off and I suck his cock after. That sounds like a plan. 

I still don’t want to get my hopes up _too_ _much_. I have been convinced on several occasions that Baz will bite and he hasn’t. I don’t say anything. (Don’t want to spook him in case he’s nervous about this for some reason.)

# BAZ

” _Mouthwash_ ,” I almost slur though the word, spitting it out before Snow thinks me to be a dangerous predator. 

# SIMON

 _Oh_ , not the biting or the blowjob then. But still, it’s Baz and me doing something intimate together. I like that.

”Yeah, let’s do that,” I say, get up from the floor and hold out my hand for Baz. He takes it but looks a bit shy. Is he regretting suggesting to gargle?

# BAZ

”Thank you, Snow.” He’s not letting go of my hand and I’m not letting go of his. (I’d never do that _willingly_ , I’d cling to him forever if I could. Can I? Will he let me?)

I’m not sure what it all means. I have trouble reading Snow and his facial expressions. Well, not trouble per se. When Snow looks happy or eager, I don’t understand why. I keep trying to find logical explanations because clearly it can’t be all because of me.

I pick up the bottle of my mouthwash, pour some in a glass and offer it to Snow.

”After you,” I say. It's a very good kind, but it smells and tastes strong so I’m worried Snow won’t like it. I add, “Don’t worry it won’t kill you.” 

Aleister _Crowley_ , I am a fucking moron. Now Snow will think I’m trying to poison him. He’s a walking paranoia on two legs. (Very sexy but still paranoia.)

# SIMON

I laugh because I like it a lot when Baz is joking. It must mean that he feels at ease with me being around him. I take a sip of the mouth rinse. It tastes very strong and there is also a strong scent to it, but maybe it’s because it’s better than the regular. (I don’t know how those products work.)

I hand the glass back to him. 

# BAZ

Snow laughed as if I was telling him a joke. What is happening? Is he or is he not thinking that I’m trying to poison him?

When I’m done rinsing my mouth, Simon gifts me with one of his beautiful _warmest_ smiles. (I’ve never seen him smile like that at other people, unless this is love induced hallucination, of course.)

Still, I let myself have it. Standing in my washroom with him again, doing something mundane feels so intimate, it makes my stomach flutter. When Snow kisses me, my stomach flips altogether.

When we get back to my bedroom, I settle down on the floor again. (Snow follows.) I don’t dare sit on the bed, and in that manner make Snow think that I expect something sexual to happen.

Snow will be more comfortable like this, without feeling pressured from me.

# SIMON

Baz sure likes to spend a lot of time on his floor. Not that I mind, but wouldn’t it have been more comfortable on his bed? 

Since Baz was asking me a lot about what I like, I wanted to ask him about football. I tried to comment on him choosing the right position on the field as in how things are with team members, how it’s about your own quality of playing but also _teamwork_. (I’ve heard the expression ”teamwork” before even if it’s completely foreign to me personally.) 

I’ve heard that's what is valued in sports and Baz is really good at teamwork even though he’s better than the rest of the team by a mile. Still, he lets them all play. 

”Sometimes you need to try things out with different people until you find the right fit,” I tell him and realize what I just said.

I have no idea how this happened. How did I make it sound this _suggestive_? I seem to have a bad track record of having a normal conversation with Baz at the foot of his bed.

Baz sucks down a huge gulp of juice and looks extremely uncomfortable. 

Bloody hell! _I’m a complete moron!_

I want to say something to save this conversation, but I don’t get that chance since Baz is clearly about to speak and I don’t want to interrupt. (I’ve been rude enough for one day.)

It’d feel better if I could hold Baz’s hand but he might not want it now.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you [SimoneX](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimoneX/pseuds/SimoneX) for joining [mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow) and beta read this chapter. 💙


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotify playlists:
> 
> [Summertime Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/7xmoeH82IMhHWb8aVKT6uN?si=vfoZy8QPQnKybbA7Fo8CNw) Listened to it constantly while writing chapter 1-10. (This playlist isn’t in English.)
> 
> [Summertime Gift Playlist 💝](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0pwVFX4hYTbxS5OZ1dQBbc?si=m0l1GAZKSKOGpJAMfyLsTQ) from [Ladyofthef0wers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofthefl0wers) and [PeppyBismilk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyBismilk) Emotional pick me up, ridiculous and over the top.
> 
> [Massive Addictive (Summertime) Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/5IC8aLivyxLPz1mvhITXvv?si=ziMGIGZJSiCvSQDdgowF8g) All the songs are from one single band. Works really good for love and smut (for me), don’t ask me how. 
> 
> [Ring My Love Alarm Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/0cyYShC6Hiyd2G3kRaxpK6?si=3myaVWWFRX6EZi5BKeBQlQ) I created this one for my friend [mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow) for her incredible fic [Ring My Love Alarm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22014511/chapters/52535044) This playlist is silly and fitting to my fic as well, so I listen to it while writing my own story.

# BAZ

“I wouldn’t know. I’m not as experienced as you are,” I try to state it as a matter of factly as possible. Although I’m convinced Snow has figured that out already, my inexperience, that is. I wish I could seem nonchalant about it, but, instead, I swallow, and it must be obvious how nervous I am. 

Simon Snow is the right fit for me, I never needed to “try things out” with other people like Snow has. Snow obviously has done a lot of experimenting, if his blowjob skill is any indication. The only reasonable explanation for why he’s this good is that Snow is a regular Casanova for the queer blokes of Britain, breaking one heart at a time. Will my undead heart be next on that list? (I’ve been trying not to concentrate on that topic for an extended time.)

I assumed Snow was attempting to make polite conversation, how did we get here? What kind of a conversation starter was _that_? 

All I can do at this point is to hope it doesn’t turn into a drawn-out conversation with details of Snow’s sex escapades. It’s been hard enough trying not to obsess and torment myself over everything Snow’s been up to this summer with all these people. 

And I still don’t know how many we’re talking about here. It must be quite a few for Snow to have been so unbothered by Wellbelove breaking up with him. Snow wanted to be single and now that he is — he’s clearly philandering left and right in order to find that “right fit” he’s so preoccupied with finding. 

I wish he’d give me a chance to prove that I’m right for him. _Yes_ , I’m a dark creature, but I love him more than anyone ever could. And I’ll do anything to make him happy. (I’d give my life, whatever that is worth, for Simon.)

However, he looks at me surprised.

”I’m not experienced, Baz. Why would you think that?” is what Snow tells me.

# SIMON

Baz is not experienced. Does it mean he’s only gone this far with me? In other words, he isn’t dating other people and I don’t have to kill anyone yet? (Or at least he isn’t doing anything with them, but I’ll still need to kill them all.) 

Was I right to assume earlier that I was Baz’s _first kiss_ , as well as his first everything else? (I won’t ask him that, though... it seems intrusive.)

Why would he think I’m experienced? I have no idea what I’m doing and keep hoping not to mess things up. That’s why I almost had a real nervous breakdown when we got on his bed the first time. (Things worked out better than fine, but I was extremely nervous.)

”What about Wellbelove?” Baz asks and he sounds a bit exasperated.

What does Agatha have to do with anything? Does it mean Baz wants _her_ ? I thought he wanted _me_. I also thought he might be gay. Why does Baz want to know anything about Agatha’s sexual experience, and how am I supposed to be aware of that, anyhow? I hardly know her.

I can’t kill Agatha, she’s Penny’s friend. Maybe I could ask Agatha nicely to stay away from Baz? 

Will she do it? She doesn’t owe me any favours but surely Agatha wouldn’t want to stand in the way of true love.

Can’t she understand how important Baz is to me and how much happier I will make him than she ever could? (Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself in order to convince myself that one day I’ll be worthy of him.)

# BAZ

”What do you mean? I have no idea how experienced Agatha is,” the bloody imbecile tells me. 

Who cares about Wellbelove or her experiences unless it’s with _him_? 

I’m not going to state it like that, of course, but I’m still planning on asking. 

I know Wellbelove is his first love or biggest love. I’ve seen the excessive snogging at every corner back at school enough times to know that. I spent three years crying in our room every time I saw them, wishing it was _me_ with him and not her. (Because I’m pathetic and have no pride where Simon Snow is concerned.)

Whatever it is Wellbelove was to Snow, it must have been big and important. They must have done it a lot, as in _constantly_ having sex. 

# SIMON

”I’m talking about _you_ ,” He says and relief is washing over me. Baz doesn’t want Agatha. (Thank magic.) But then why was he asking in the first place? 

I must look confused because Baz adds, ”You’ve been together for three years and spent every Christmas break at her house.” He cocks his eyebrow at me to drive the point home I guess, but what point could it be? Baz does look tense for some reason. Why would he look that way? 

Oh, wait a moment. 

Is Baz _jealous_ of Agatha, by any chance? He has no reason to be. I’m obsessed with him and I’m in love with him and he knows that or at the very least must suspect that after the wedding bouquet I gave him. 

I myself was extremely jealous of him and Agatha for years. As it turns out it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with _Baz_. 

Even without admitting my feelings to him at the time I apparently knew enough not to want to share him with anyone. (I still don’t, I’m prepared to kill in order to keep other people away from him.)

However, I know that I shouldn’t bring attention to Baz’s possible jealousy so as to not embarrass him. (He’s a very proud person.) I just let Baz know that nothing ever happened between Agatha and me. Except for snogging. He knows about that, he might have seen it too. That makes me feel terrible because it might have bothered him some. (I’ve been suspicious as to why Baz was smirking at me during football, especially our fifth year if maybe he fancied me a bit back then.) But at least he wasn’t in love with me, otherwise, it would have hurt his feelings a lot and would have broken his heart.

Agatha and I did that a lot, the snogging, instead of talking, especially whenever she’d refuse to talk about Baz or let me complain about him and his perfect hair. (It all makes more sense now, of course.)

”I’ve spent Christmas breaks baking every day,” I answer and can’t help but think how that should have been a clue to my sexuality as well. (The complete uninterest in one’s girlfriend and equally complete obsession with one’s roommate are both valid clues.)

# BAZ

What is he on about? Perhaps it’s his way of avoiding the subject. Or is that some kind of euphemism I’m not familiar with? How out of touch am I in the romance department?

”What do you mean by that?” I ask Snow to clarify and I, in this manner, am now revealing _all_ my utter inexperience where sex is concerned. 

What is “baking” supposed to represent, exactly? It doesn’t sound like a dirty word to me, but what do I know? 

Snow is my only sexual experience, and that involved him watching me through the window, us at the shopping centre yesterday, and then what happened today. A lot happened today but apparently not the ”baking” he’s referring to. Unless it has happened already and I simply have no idea that whatever we did was called _that_.

# SIMON

I’m not sure what Baz is struggling with here, I thought he knew a lot about baking. Or does Baz mean that he wants me to specify what I baked _exactly_? 

Is it because Baz is a little obsessed with food? I’m no stranger to obsessions since I’m extremely preoccupied with him at all times, (have been since our first year.)

I wish Baz didn’t have to hide his preferences about baked goods the way he does. I want him to feel comfortable and trust me with everything he likes and dislikes. I want him to be himself around me. I would never judge Baz about _anything_ that has to do with him. I’m never going to think less of him. Whatever Baz likes or does is automatically perfect and right.

“Mostly scones, different varieties of them, some cakes too, I’m pretty good since I’ve spent so much time on it and could get down recipes to the perfect ratio and the correct time in the oven. As you well know the recipes are not always accurate in books”, I tell him because I remember how knowledgeable about baking Baz was at the cafe. 

He’s quiet, listening very concentrated while looking more and more _satisfied_ by the second. 

Baz must really like talking about this, so I go on. “And sometimes it matters what type of oven you use, the quality of the groceries, and whether or not you let the eggs and butter get to room temperature before you bake. I do like making biscuits, and mine don’t even come out dry. Usually, the trick is an increased amount of butter,” I say and see Baz chuckle and snort. That's the second time he did that. There’s a stray hair on his cheek. I tuck it behind his ear and lean in to kiss Baz because I have to because I can’t _not_ do it. 

I take his hand afterwards, and he doesn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, Baz smiles, he’s looking _relieved,_ for some reason. 

We hold hands as I talk and it feels good and right. I let my thumb trace circles on his knuckles and fingers, it makes him sigh, his features are losing the severe seriousness they had before. _Baz looks happy._

# BAZ

Snow and Wellbelove haven’t done it. 

_Thank snakes for that!_

One less thing on the list of my biggest deepest fears and nightmares. Besides, I got one on Wellbelove, didn’t I? They were together for three years without anything happening while Snow and I are still going to have our first date today. I’m so happy and relaxed for once I actually snort when he talks about butter. (Simon is _adorable_.)

All my thoughts instantly evaporate when he brushes a stray hair off my cheek, tucks it behind my ear and kisses me.

# SIMON

Baz is adorable, beautiful and hot and everything that’s good in the world. I have to do right by him. That is why, even though my mind is occupied with other things that have to do with Baz _naked_ and all the things I desperately want to do with him, I start a lengthy recap of everything I ever baked at Agatha’s and how it varied from the recipe and a few pointers on how to determine that. 

Baz should never be ashamed of something he needs. And if he needs me talking about baking, then that’s what I’ll do. 

I’m not going to point it out to him, of course. I know Baz is a very proud person. Not sure why he has the need to hide this particular interest, but I’m never going to let him suffer through the humiliation of bringing it up himself if he doesn’t feel comfortable.

# BAZ

After we pull apart, Snow takes my hand and holds it loosely. It feels good to have his fingers brushing against my knuckles and fingers, to _feel_ him. 

He keeps on talking about baking and I want to know _everything_ , despite not being quite as interested in the topic as Snow is. I am interested in the topic of Simon Snow and everything that’s important to him.

For a moment I can't help but worry about the issue of him and Wellbelove. I originally thought it’s because he might be gay. Unless it’s because he respects her more than he respects me. 

_Is that it?_ Does it mean he doesn’t respect me? However, he let me fuck his mouth. Shouldn’t that be a sign of respect? _I could have choked him to death._ I’m not entirely convinced that was ever a real risk, but I’m not convinced that it wasn’t, either.

I have a lot to think about and a lot of doubt when it comes to relationships — not that we are in one since we still haven’t gone on that first date yet. I hope he'll like me long enough to call what we have a relationship. (Unless dating is a relationship?) I wish I was more knowledgeable about these sorts of things. 

Obviously, this entails _theoretical_ knowledge only, I’d never want to obtain that kind of information with someone other than Simon. 

Furthermore, I would like to know what Snow was implying by not being experienced. Does it mean that he hasn’t gone _further_ than we have with other people?

I wonder if the reason why Snow didn’t do anything with Wellbelove is that he’s _actually_ gay? The girl is gorgeous. (I’m gay, not blind.) 

Snow seems interested in sex, judging by the state of his cock for these past several hours, the way he dry humps and grinds, and the way we’ve sucked each other off _more_ than once. 

These are all clues pointing to the fact that Simon Snow indeed is interested in sex. (I'm fairly sure I haven’t misread it this time.)

I can’t help but wonder how anything that happened between us today is to be considered _heterosexual_ behaviour on his part? Or is that my wishful thinking kicking in? 

And even if Snow is gay, he’s still dating a lot this summer. It would eliminate half of my competition if Snow indeed is gay, which is very good for me.

Does it give me a bigger chance though? I’m not sure of the answer, I strongly suspect not, there are too many blokes to compete with. (I will be threatening them away with my fangs, but still, there’s no guarantee Snow will choose me in the end.) 

What can I do to keep him?

I might need Simon to keep snogging me if I’m to stop thinking. However, I am spiralling less when we’re holding hands and he’s brushing his fingers against my knuckles and fingers and talking animatedly about baking while smiling at me. ( _It feels so good when he’s this soft with me, it makes me happy._ )

# SIMON

 _Merlin_ , I never talked this much about baking. But now Baz doesn’t have to ask me to tell him about baked goods if he isn’t comfortable bringing up the subject of his obsession. 

I’m not saying it’s not fun talking about baking. It is, but I wouldn’t have chosen to talk this much myself. It’s more fun baking than talking about it. 

And it’s even more fun snogging Baz or sucking his cock, and of course, palming and squeezing his behind. (That last one is always there, _always_. I need his arse at all times. It’s more than addiction or obsession. I need his arse like I need air, and Baz himself as a whole of course.) 

I wouldn’t mind a slice of Baz right now, as in getting to do something with him. He's better than the best baking, better than anything really… and the best flavour. And to my own surprise, I like putting something _posh_ in my mouth. (Prefer it actually, because I don’t want anyone else but Baz.)

However, I want Baz to like me _more_ , and he’s obsessed with the subject of food, specifically baking. I think talking about it is the right way to go about making Baz like me more. 

Baz looks so happy when I talk about baking. There’s that smile I saw at the cafe. It’s wider. I think he’s practically beaming. I did that by talking about his favourite subject.

_Who knew I’d be this smart?_

# BAZ

 _Crowley_. Snow really likes baked goods. I knew that already, of course. But I had no idea the extent of it all. I listen to everything he has to say. I want him to feel comfortable around me, sharing his hobbies with me. Therefore I listen with delight to everything he tells me.

 _Yes_ , I want him sharing his cock with me more in this instance, but I want to know what he’s thinking, what he likes and dislikes. 

I want to know Simon more than I already do. And I know him fairly well already. I’m very familiar with his good and his bad sides. Still, it’s not enough. I want to know _everything_. I also need clues on how to get him to like me more. 

And surely letting Snow talk about his favourite subject is the way to accomplish that.

And he’s so charming, talking enthusiastically with a twinkle in his eyes, smiling and laughing. 

_Simon is a true delight._

He’s constantly keeping eye contact with me as if I matter. (That warms me just as much as his body does.)

On another happy note, while we’re on the topic, I need the recipe for sour cherry scones sooner rather than later. I’m calling cook Pritchard tomorrow while Snow is at work. That will be the right way to go about keeping Simon forever.

# SIMON

I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to ask Baz if he’s gay. Penny always says that you should never ask personal questions like someone’s religion or sexual orientation, it’s _insensitive_. 

But I really want to ask him, especially after I was worried for just a little while that he might be interested in Agatha. I already spent years with suppressed fear that she’ll steal Baz from me before I even acknowledged to myself that I had feelings for him and wanted him. 

I need to be sure she’s not my rival. How am I to kill her? It seems rude, with her being Penny’s friend.

It might be alright to ask Baz a personal question. I already mistakenly asked him how experienced he was, and that went well. (That wasn’t what I was trying to say, I was talking about _football_.)

Also, Baz fucked my mouth earlier in the shower. Shouldn’t that mean that it’s acceptable to ask him this kind of question? 

Where are the lines exactly? I think we have been redrawing them the whole day, where I’ve been getting better and greater access to Baz’s various body parts and getting closer to be granted access to his arse. _Bloody_ hell, I really need to stop phrasing it like that. “Access” to Baz...“intimately _”_ is what I need to call it. (Less creepy, I guess.)

How am I ever to know what is appropriate behaviour and what is not? What is okay to ask? There are so many rules in the world. Life is really hard when you look at it like that.

# BAZ

”Would it be alright to ask you a… _personal_ question?” Snow asks me and looks clearly embarrassed, and I’m worried again. Because I always worry. 

Is it considered to be a hobby if one is constantly doing that?

I also _wank_ constantly to the thoughts of Simon Snow, is that a hobby as well? Or perhaps more of a _lifestyle_ or a _true calling_? 

However, I strongly suspect that I have a different true calling that is so much better than wanking. You’d be right to assume that I’m talking about being shagged by Snow. (In any way he’d want me, I’m extremely open minded where Simon Snow is concerned.)

”Not at all,” I say and brace myself for whatever this is about. I hope he won’t ask me why I’m inexperienced. Crowley, then I’ll have to tell him that I’m hopelessly in love with him and spend my time fantasising about how our wedding will look. Snow will surely leave me in disgust because I’m pathetic and he doesn’t want love from me. What _does_ he want from me? 

“You don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable. But- Are you gay?” He asks and well, that’s not necessarily a good question either, is it? Is Snow going to leave me if I say _Yes_?

We’ll always have our memories, I suppose. But I need more, I _crave_ more.

“Yes, completely,” I answer truthfully because I can never lie to him. Whatever will be, will be…

# SIMON

Baz is gay. That’s the best news I’ve gotten today. (Agatha can’t have him!)

Okay, maybe not the best. Being allowed to kiss Baz and to grope his arse and have my hand and mouth around his cock and bollocks was the best news, of course. 

Also his hand and mouth on _my_ cock (I’m still shocked that Baz even wanted to do that — his mouth around my cock), and also on my bollocks (that was brilliant), his finger in my mouth, his body pressed tightly against mine, our hard cocks touching and hips rocking against each other… 

_This whole day felt amazing._

Nothing can beat all that, well except for that sweet moment I’m still waiting for when my cock will finally _finally_ get access to Baz’s perfect arse and I will push it inside and make Baz feel good, so good. (If he wants my cock, that is. We can do things in different ways if it’d be more comfortable for him. I want what Baz wants, _always_.)

 _Oh, Merlin_ , all I can think about now is how I want to make Baz gasp nonstop. Is that even possible? Can I do that? I’ve never done that before. (I only tried one finger on myself and that was nice. But I suspect it's different with three fingers or a dildo.)

Maybe he can guide me as to which way to push. I know Baz was enjoying everything much more while he was fucking himself with his dildo every time he went for the _right_ angle. 

Could I manage the right angle all the time? Does it work like that? Or is it more of a maze where I won’t be sure where I end up like when I followed Baz through the Catacombs? That was a very confusing time, I could never find the turn that would lead me to Baz. I’ve been very obsessed with him, even before I’ve seen his arse. Why was he hiding his arse from me all those years? Is it because he didn’t want me then? (I’ve been thinking lately that maybe he did fancy me a bit back in our fifth year, was I wrong?) In any case, Baz seems to want me now a lot.

Will I be able to do it inside Baz’s arse— find the right direction, I mean? What are all the right turns to take? And will it only be with his dildo or does he want my cock too? (I want to do whatever he wants to.)

Is it alright if I ask how long Baz has known that he’s gay? I have no idea what’s appropriate and what’s not. 

“How long have you known?” I ask and hope I’m not overstepping. I don’t know the right protocol of dating, I’ve never dated before. _Merlin_ , I keep forgetting Agatha…

# BAZ

“Since I was twelve.” Snow looks shocked at that. However, Snow hasn’t gotten disgusted by the news of me being gay. Is it possible that he doesn’t mind? Should I stop worrying and keep telling him whatever he wants to know without hesitation? (Except for the part of me being desperately in love with him. I’m stupidly in love, but I’m not _actually_ stupid. I want to hope that there will be time at some point in the future, where Snow will become open minded about my love for him.) 

# SIMON

 _Twelve_? That’s still our first year. Baz already knew. How is that even possible?

“How did you figure it out?” Penny would be appalled by my behaviour, one overly private question after another. 

But I want to know. And also I hope that everything Baz and I’ve done so far means he doesn’t feel like I’m prying into his private life too much. I’m a part of his private life now, am I not? Or is it not how it works?

# BAZ

“Because I wanted to kiss this mole right there,” I admit with trepidation, touching the mole on his cheek and I kiss it for emphasis. Despite this whole situation being nerve wrecking, I’m trying to keep up with the honesty today, (it got me this far.) Perhaps I became courageous from his come after all as I suspected earlier. Snow should keep filling my mouth with his come for the effect to last. (Will it become permanent if he fills my arse with his come? I want him to do that, I _need_ his come everywhere in me and on me.)

Snow blushes and tries not to smile, he looks so _lovely_.

Then he suddenly looks confused and my stress triples at that. (I hope I can act nonchalant about whatever it is Snow is going to say.)

# SIMON

I keep forgetting about Agatha. But I remember _now_. If Baz wanted me since he was twelve and knew he was gay, why did he flirt with her all the time? 

Actually now that I think about it, he only flirted with her while Agatha and I were together. Every time we broke up, Baz stopped flirting too. I think I might know the answer. (Or at least I have strong suspicions.) I’m going to ask him because I need to know.

” _Baz..._ ” I’m nervous to ask because I’m not entirely sure how to state this question.

He cocks one eyebrow at me, ”Snow...” 

”What about Agatha?”

”What about her?” He sounds tense. (I might be right in my suspicions.)

”You flirted with her.”

”I did,” Baz answers and looks very shy and nervous. I don’t want him to feel this way with me. But I have to make sure, to be able to put the whole issue to rest once and for all. (It’s very hard to be constantly jealous; I need to know.)

I move closer to him and take hold of his other hand too. As I hold both of his hands, I bring them to my lips and place a few kisses all around them. Baz looks at me, quiet but a bit more relaxed I think. Afterwards, I put our joined hands in my lap and try to brush his knuckles and fingers in the most soothing way possible before stating this last question. (I hope it’s working.) I look in his beautiful grey eyes and ask,” Why?” 

Baz swallows and I think he’s still nervous.

”Why do you think?” He isn’t smirking when he says that, a lovely blush is spreading on his cheeks. 

I _think_ Baz wanted to make me jealous and leave Agatha for him. 

Not sure I should point that out to him. There must be a reason he’s not spelling it out to me in detail and is _blushing_. I almost tell Baz that I love him (he already suspects it as it is) and remind him that he has nothing to worry about. (It’s too early to say that out loud, that’d be _emotional_ _pushiness_. I’d never want to make Baz uncomfortable.)

Fucking _hell_ , the thought of Baz seeing all the snogging between Agatha and me, makes my stomach turn. But I have no idea how to tell Baz any of that without drawing attention to anything that might wound his pride.

I look at him instead and try to convey with my eyes what I think about him trying to _make_ _me_ _jealous_. (That’d be that I am _extremely_ aroused.) Is that wrong to be turned on by him doing that? 

Baz knows exactly how to look flirtatious with his sultry eyes at me. He’s fluent in the language of love while I have no idea what I’m doing. I hope he’ll get what I’m trying to say.

# BAZ

Snow looks down at our joined hands and I worry I said too much, that he’s uncomfortable by the admission. However, he doesn’t give me time to process it all and get to the point of my overwhelming panic. The tip of Snow’s tongue is tracing his upper lip and he locks eyes with me again, but it’s a vastly different gaze. 

Aleister _Crowley_. Am I by any chance misreading the intensity of his eyes? He’s looking at me in a way that makes me think he wants to tear all my clothes off with his bare teeth and fuck me right this moment on this floor. My stomach is fluttering, my heart rate skyrockets and I almost fall on top of him. I might be swooning. (Hard to tell since we’re sitted on the floor.)

His dressing gown (it was mine, it might be his now, Simon looks so good in it — like something I want to devour with my mouth) is tied loosely and he isn’t sitting in the most modest position, when he shifts, it reveals a very hard cock. His chest is flushed scarlet and it’s not embarrassment this time, it’s _arousal_. (Our track record of conversations on the floor is getting better.) 

Simon kisses me and it’s putting my whole body ablaze. There’s so much _feeling_ in this kiss, and I don’t care if it’s just something my brain is imagining, I let myself have it, have _him_. I feel as though I might combust, there’s so much pleasure inside of me and I want to drown in his kisses and his scent.

# SIMON

We’re snogging and it’s better than ever. Well not better, just _more_. Baz must know how I feel now — that the thought of him trying to make me jealous turns me on — and he seems to be alright with it. He might be into it even... Eventually, I sink us down to the floor. I really wanted to be on top of Baz right now, but he’s too lovely to lie with his back against the hard floor. (I don’t mind, I’ve slept in worse beds than this.) 

I hope this is still a comfortable position for Baz to bite me if he decides to do it. He gave me all that juice again, why is he not biting me? What kind of a vampire is he exactly? _Merlin_ , please oh please, don’t be one of those vegans!

# BAZ

Snow doesn’t fuck me but he pulls me on top of him and grinds on me hard while groping my arse. 

_Aleister fucking Crowley._ Who knew that flirting with his girlfriend, trying to make him jealous and admitting to it after the fact will give me this — Simon’s glorious cock pressed to me, flush and us in each other’s arms, snogging. (My trousers are extremely in the way right now.) 

I can’t help but wonder if this might mean that Snow liked the thought of me trying to get him to leave his girlfriend for me? Does he not mind how eager I am for him because it’s an ego boost or does he just like me? Could it be that he likes me? Perhaps a little... yes… I think it's a possibility… (I’ve had my suspicions for quite a few hours that Snow might like me at least a little.)

However, the question is will Snow leave me as soon as he realizes how far gone and pathetic for him I truly am? Oh, who cares what will happen in the future, I get him now, wanting me with a very hard cock. 

_I want him to fuck me..._

His mouth is hot against mine and he keeps biting my lower lip and sucking on it and leaving me breathless. 

It’s getting _so_ good. (It’s always good.)

I’m biting his lip back and he likes it, moaning and growling... Simon’s hold on my arse tightens, his cock rocking hard against mine. I’m so overwhelmed by him wanting me, I accidentally bite his lip again so hard I feel blood on my lips — _his_ blood. 

It’s only a single drop but it’s enough to drive me completely _insane_ . The taste of him is making my head spin. Simon himself is everything I want and need (the taste of his lips, the scent of his skin, the aroma of his precome are intoxicating all on their own), but combined with his blood it’s something else. It’s the kind of pleasure I could never have imagined. I want more, I _need_ more — his lips, cock and _blood_. (Preferably all three at the same time.) That’s all I can think about. I’m so desperate for him — all of him.

_I want Simon to fill me with his come and his blood._

_Fuck_ ... I want to bite him to the point of my whole body craving it with every fibre. I feel so warm and happy with Simon here, I keep forgetting who I am. ( _What_ I am.)

I’m trying to get myself under control by combing my fingers through his beautiful curls but it’s not enough this time.

My self restraint is faltering and all the strength that takes me to keep my fangs in is receding. I’m fighting it with everything I’ve got. Crowley, I’m starting to feel weak, as in I could actually faint any moment now or give in and bite him.

We need to stop before I do something unforgivable. (I’d never do that, of course. I love Simon too much.)

” _Simon-_ ” I cry out.

# SIMON

I stop kissing Baz immediately. He looks pale, (paler than usual) and terrified. Now _I’m_ terrified.

”Jesus Christ, Baz! What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Is it his health? Do vampires get any health issues? I thought he had allergies before, so maybe. 

”Nothing’s wrong but I feel a bit dizzy,” he says and tries to study himself and he looks as if he could faint any second. 

”What can I do?” I ask and reach for him.

# BAZ

I keep thinking about his lips and his blood. Those were my fifth-year fantasies: kisses and blood and Snow ridding the world of me. 

Snow just asked me what he can do. He could kill me now— that’s what he can do. It’d be better for everyone. I can’t get myself to tell him that. I take the cowardly way out because I don’t want to lose him. 

”Nothing, I just- need a moment,” I tell him and try to get away to no avail. (My body stopped cooperating with me and I fear my mind is not far behind.) My undead heart is beating too fast and my mind’s becoming unfocused. 

# SIMON

I feel as if Baz might need more than a moment. However, I don’t want to point that out. (Baz is very proud, I’ll never purposely wound his pride.)

”Let’s get you in bed, alright?” I offer. 

”That’s not necessary. I’m fine,” Baz says and tries again to push away from me. (He seems weak.) 

Great snakes, of course, he’d be stubborn about the whole thing. Shouldn’t there be some limitation to his pride? And why does he look so scared? Is Baz ashamed of showing weakness? He shouldn’t, he’s still perfect, he always is.

”You’d be more comfortable,”

”I’m perfectly comfortable here.” He looks too serious and tense for this kind of simple conversation. I don’t understand why.

”Well, _I’d_ be more comfortable in bed and I’m a guest. You keep pointing that out, so-,” I say to try and coax a smile and hopefully agreement to relocate to the bed.

His eyes widen and he looks confused, ”I thought- perhaps you wouldn't want to go to my bed. Why would you?” What is wrong with him? 

_Wait_. Does Baz have a concussion by any chance? Has he hit his head while he was downstairs making us lunch? He’d never admit to that, of course, he’s too proud. I wish Baz could feel comfortable telling me things. 

”Why wouldn’t I?” 

”I- Yes, of course… more comfortable,” he says and I have no idea why he seemed so bewildered by this conversation. Is it a concussion? I don’t know what to do. Should I call Dr Wellbelove? Can we keep the fact that Baz is a vampire a secret from a doctor? Maybe it’d be better to call someone from Baz’s family?

I need to ask him about it and hope he’ll tell me. I hold on to Baz and help him up. 

I scoop him up after. ” _Simon_ , you don’t have to-”

”I want to,” I place a quick kiss to his lips and he doesn’t fight me on this, but he still seems terrified. 

Baz looks at me weirdly and there are too many emotions I don’t understand. He’s teary-eyed. 

Could it be about his pride? Is that why he’s this worried? I will never think less of him for anything. Not only do I not mind taking care of Baz, but I also _want_ to take care of him.

# BAZ

I don’t deserve any of his kindness when all I can think about is his blood and how it would fill me as no other blood ever could. I have trouble focusing, I also worry I tell him that I love him. (He’ll leave me on the spot.)

Simon gets in bed with me and cradles me, my head on his chest, his arms around me. He holds me so tight it feels like _love_. 

_Crowley_ , Snow keeps leaving me confused about what it is he wants from me. Does he want me as something _real_? This seems too intimate for a simple ”roll in the hay”. If Snow is even interested in that of course. He hasn't fucked me yet, despite certain actions indicating that he is indeed possibly interested in doing just that. I want him to, I’ve been keeping my derrière on full display for him and in this manner letting Snow know he can have me whenever he wants to. (I’m not in the right shape for it right this moment. But up until a few minutes ago, I was good and ready.)

Simon’s hand is going up and down from my shoulders along my spine and always stops at the small of my back without touching my arse. And that feels even more intimate right now, that he’s taking care of me and not thinking about anything physical. I want the physical but I also want his gentle touches. I _crave_ them. However, I don’t need to be taken care of, I’m the vile creature with disgusting desires. I should be put down, not cuddled with.

I’m so thirsty for Simon’s blood. All I can think is how much I want to sink my fangs in his neck and taste him, just a little. (I’m not going to, of course.) 

”Do we need to call for a doctor or your father or anyone else?” He asks me and looks so concerned. It’s breaking my undead heart. I feel terribly ashamed for wanting to bite him, for letting him take care of me and even more for not telling him the reason behind it. Simon should be my top priority which he is, and yet I’m silent, hiding my true self from him, pretending I’m not this thing... (It’s because I know he’ll reject me when I tell him the truth.)

”No, it’s nothing like that, I just got lightheaded.” It isn’t a lie but it’s not the whole truth either. That’d be that I’m a dangerous creature he should stay away from. He should leave and never come back. But I don’t want him to leave. I want to be with Simon. I love him. I’m selfish. 

”Do you promise to tell me if there’s something?”

”Yes,” I answer and I’m not lying. I will tell him and he’ll leave me as soon as I do. (Perhaps if I’m lucky he’ll kill me first.)

Still, Simon deserves to know whom he’s snuggling with right now. I love him and I will never put him in danger. And right now, I’m very dangerous. I have no other choice but to confess to the whole truth. This is going to be my last moment with him. I wish I could kiss Simon one last time but I don’t dare to let my mouth come anywhere near him. 

_I’m going to lose Simon before I’ve even gotten him._

# SIMON

Baz looks embarrassed and scared, and almost nauseous with tears in his eyes. I tighten my arm around his back to reassure him and wipe the tears away from his cheeks with my thumb and kiss his head. 

That's when I feel his silent sob and I have no idea how to help. Jesus Christ, is it a concussion or something else? I hold him tighter and try to think what should be the right course of action here and also what to do with Baz being less than cooperating about his issues. 

But then it _finally_ hits me. Baz seems weak, he said he’s lightheaded. The answer was right in front of me the whole time. It’s not a concussion. 

Baz hasn’t eaten much today. He always takes very small bites and chews slowly too. And he hardly had any juice either. He must have low blood sugar, that’s what made him lightheaded. He’s _dehydrated_ too but doesn’t want to admit it for some reason. I should have thought of that myself. I should have made sure he ate and drank more earlier. (I don’t think I’m good in crises at all.) I need to take care of Baz.

# BAZ

_For Crowley’s sake, Basilton, fucking do it already!_

”Simon, I need to tell you something.” I take a deep breath and continue, ”The reason I got like this. The truth is, it’s because I-”

# SIMON

Baz is trying to tell me what’s wrong and he looks like a ghost — pale and sad. It’s heartbreaking to see him like that. 

I’m not going to let him go through the humiliation of finishing what he’s trying to say. I already know what’s wrong and Baz shouldn’t need to admit to any possible weaknesses if he’s not comfortable with that. (And he’s clearly not, he’s terrified and is crying.) 

Now I have no idea how the fact that he’s dehydrated is a weakness but Baz sure seems to think so (to the point of crying.) It’s all my fault. I should have figured it all out sooner and never put Baz in the position of needing to explain this to me in the first place.

” _Baz_! Please wait. Can I get you some juice?” I offer as a matter of fact so as not to draw too much attention to his needs and wound his pride.

# BAZ

Yes, that could work. I need just a short moment to breath in anything else that isn’t his skin and I’ll be alright. It will solve the current problem of my overwhelming bloodthirst. I’m still going to tell Simon what a terrible dark creature with unforgivable urges towards him I truly am. But I just want a little more time with him... I’ll make sure there’s never going to be a repeat of what happened earlier. I have to make sure to never get in the position where I get to taste any amount of his blood. (I can’t handle that without getting an uncontrollable craving to bite him.)

”Would you, _please_?”

# SIMON

”Yeah, of course. Let me get it for you.”

I’m so worried for him, I keep nervously biting my lip. _Huh…_ I must have bitten through the skin.

Maybe I could offer Baz up my neck and my blood? (I really want to.) But it seems like a really bad timing since Baz is clearly having health issues. 

The juice is a better idea (it has fruit sugar in it.) I was drinking most of it during lunch. Baz hardly had any. I need to do better — to pay more attention to how much he drinks and eats. 

The juice will help with low blood sugar. (Probably better than my blood could anyway, that’s the main reason for not offering him my neck.) 

I also think that it’s possible that if Baz bites me now while not feeling well, it’ll be what he remembers later — his brain connecting the biting with not feeling well. Then Baz might never bite me again because of that. 

# BAZ

I settle against the bed frame when Snow returns with the picnic hamper and take the juice he offers me.

”Thank you.” I drink as much as I can, to soothe my gums. (It’s helping a bit.) I glance over at him; he still looks like something I want to eat.

# SIMON

Baz seems to be feeling a bit better. He might need more sugar though.

”Do you want some biscuits or chocolates?”

”Yes, thank you. Chocolates if you don’t mind, those,” he points to chocolates I gave him and blushes, looking self conscious. Is Baz embarrassed by having a sweet tooth or needing help?

# BAZ

Simon is being too good to me, holding me close to him, offering me sweets...

I should just tell him and not accept any help or chocolates. Instead, I think about how I want to eat the ones Simon gifted me with to feel better, to pretend that we’ll be together forever. 

Will he think me pathetic to cling to him and his chocolates this desperately? Not that it matters. Snow will be more repulsed by my hunger for him than by my love, or at the very least find them equally repulsive. He’s going to leave me or kill me. 

I prefer killing me more, of course. I can’t go on without him, especially not now when I know what it means to be on receiving end of his smiles and his kisses; the feeling of his hands on my derrière and his cock in my mouth.

# SIMON

Baz eats half the tin of chocolates and then starts to nibble on a biscuit I gave him as well. He offered me some, but I didn’t want any. (I’m still full from all the food and dessert he was trying to get me to eat earlier.) 

I wish I could have had Baz’s cock for dessert, but he hasn’t offered. Despite being a very gracious and considered host, Baz sure forgets to offer the most important thing on the menu — his royal cock. (I want his elegant arse too of course, but we aren’t there yet. When will we be there I wonder?)

Although I did suck his cock _before_ lunch, so I guess you could say I had my dessert early. Also, I would have prefered his cock to the excessive amount of food Baz kept offering me.

Now is not the time for flavouring everything that’s on the menu nor extending the assortment. That’s not what Baz needs right now. He needs to relax and to rest; to know that I’m here for him and he needs to be taken care of. I hope I’m doing a decent job. (I have no idea how to take care of anyone.)

Baz isn’t as pale anymore now, he looks much better after getting some sugar in him, but still nervous and embarrassed. I’m not saying that he didn’t look good before. Baz looks beautiful and perfect during any and all occasions. But he wasn’t feeling well. He seems to feel better now and he’s getting calmer...

# BAZ

I finally managed to put my thirst under control. Simon has been nothing but supportive and gentle towards me. He has one arm draped around me, moving his fingers in circles and holding my hand with his other. 

Simon kept kissing the side of my head or resting his head against mine while I was distracting myself with sweets. It felt amazing but also made me feel extremely guilty. 

I’ve been taking advantage of him, allowing this very kind treatment towards me when I don’t deserve it nor him. It’s my own fault for being in this situation. I’m the dark creature that wants his blood. I want to tell Simon about what just happened, so there are no secrets between us, only truth. (Except for the part of me being in love with him. But that’s a secret that needs to be well kept.) 

I keep torturing myself with what I almost did to him. I _will_ do better. I will never bite him. Simon can trust me. However, I’m too scared to tell him that right now, to draw attention to what I am. (It’s because I’m a selfish coward for wanting to stay with him a little longer.) 

Still, I need to tell him. But Snow seems to be about to speak. I’d be rude to interrupt. I can pretend this to be the reason for my silence. 

In reality, it’s a good way to avoid the conversation about what was wrong with me earlier. I know I have to explain the truth to Simon. (I’ll never lie to him.) I want to let him know what happened but I also want a few more moments with him not tainted by what I am.

# SIMON

I don’t want to bring Baz’s attention to what just happened. I need to talk about something else, to distract him with an easy topic, something Baz would feel comfortable discussing.

”I really enjoy watching people play football. It’s very aesthetically pleasing.” 

_Fucking_ hell! Not again! I should stop talking about football altogether. It needs to become an off limits topic for me.

Because now it sounds as if I like watching half naked blokes run around the field. I mean I do — I enjoy watching _Baz_ running half naked around the field. (To finally be aware of that changed my whole view on football forever.) But that’s not how I phrased it, was it now?

His brow hitches up higher than ever before. I blush probably like there’s no tomorrow. How often am I going to embarrass myself in front of Baz? At least my stupidity is likely distracting him from what happened with his low blood sugar earlier. (Still, I don't actually count it as a win. I could have said something else, something less _suggestive_.)

# BAZ

What did he mean exactly? 

”I didn’t mean because _all_ the players are half naked,” he tells me and his flush is spread across most of his body by now. I didn’t think that’s what he meant earlier, well I wasn’t sure what I thought he meant, he got me confused. However, now I start to wonder. The way Snow stated that sentence seems _odd_. I can’t think too much about that or about telling him my deep dark secret of wanting his blood because he’s clearly in distress right now and I need to help him.

I’m not sure if there’s any response I can give Simon that won’t embarrass him further. 

He still has his arm around me and is holding my hand so I squeeze it lightly and lean in to kiss the mole on his cheek. (Simon seemed happy when I did it earlier while telling him that I wanted to do so since I was twelve.) (I’ve got my unholy urges towards his blood under control, so there’s no danger in kissing him.)

I look at him and he’s looking back, _smiling brightly_ as if I mean something to him as if my soothing is helping. I kiss his crimson cheek and his lips and he kisses me back, _eagerly_ . When we break apart — both of us are out of breath. Simon smiles through shuddered breathing and looks as if he might want me, as if he cares. It gives me the courage to continue our less than easy conversation. (Snow asked me earlier if I’m gay and I’m being bold enough to dare and ask _him_ that.)

”Could I ask you a personal question?” He blushes again and I hurry to add, ”It’s not about football.” (That topic seems to be very sensitive to Snow for whatever reason, it’s better to never mention it to him.)

Snow doesn’t seem repulsed at all by my prying. ”Sure, yes. You can ask whatever you want,” he answers and smiles again, his fingers moving against mine almost absentmindedly.

”You don’t need to answer,” I try to reassure him just in case.

Snow’s smile doesn’t falter, ”I want to.”

Alright... 

_Deep breath, Basilton!_

“Are you gay?” I dare to ask and suddenly not sure if I want to know the answer. Perhaps all the cocks Snow has sucked thus far is only a bit of experimenting before he finds himself a nice girl and settles down. 

Or goes back to Wellbelove. Although he might not be interested in her since they haven’t done it, unless they are waiting until marriage, of course. That makes complete sense. Snow and Wellbelove are waiting until marriage so they broke up for now and he’s experimenting with blokes in the meantime.

That must be it. And even if that’s not the case and Snow is really single with no strings attached to Wellbelove, it could also be that Snow hasn’t thought about sexuality _at all_ despite the excessive dating he’s been doing over the summer. 

However, Snow asked me the same question earlier about me. Surely it must mean he himself thought about the topic…

 _Crowley_ , I may be spiraling into a hysterical worry with this question...

“Yes, I _am_ ,” he answers. 

Aleister _Crowley_ , he’s gay. Thank magic! This means that Wellbelove can’t have him! (I might have some residual hatred towards her after years of watching the two of them together.) 

Is there an offering I can leave to any entity out there responsible for Simon both being born gay and also figuring it out all on his own? 

“How did you know?” I ask since Snow asked me that question himself and that should mean that it’s appropriate for me to do so as well. ( _See_ , I know how to talk to people.)

“Oh, that was easy,” he says, however, looks extremely embarrassed and averts his eyes. ”I took a quiz the day before yesterday and it told me that because I think blokes are fit and because of all the sexual things I wanted to do with you and never wanted to do with a woman, I’m gay.” He keeps talking and it’s a quick jumble of words that I still manage to understand since I speak the language that is “nervous Simon Snow”.

“I somehow got top marks on being gay and I had no idea that was a thing.” Snow keeps lowering his voice and everything comes out as a whisper.

He’s also saying something about peaches and hotdogs. Top marks on being gay? What kind of a moronic quiz has he taken? 

Simon himself isn’t stupid but he has a tendency to do first, think later. He’s a bit impulsive. The quiz might not have been an exception to that. (I’m sure there are better, more valid questionnaires out there that Simon just hasn’t seen or missed in his hurry.)

But I’d never laugh at him for accidentally stumbling on a bad quiz or for having the need to take one. I’m proud of Simon for even thinking about it at all and using whatever resources he had available. Everyone is different and it takes longer or shorter time coming to certain realizations and one might need some research, (preferably not a quiz from a questionable source.)

Just because _this_ part of myself was easy for me to figure out, doesn’t mean everything was. 

It took me until our fifth year to realize that he is _it_ for me, that it’s only ever going to be Simon. For a time I wished I'd never figured that out, (especially whenever I saw Snow snogging his girlfriend and my undead heart got broken over and over again.)

I want to lighten the mood with a simple joke because he’s nervous and embarrassed. ”I haven't taken any quizzes on being gay myself so I guess you’re the one with top marks on this one” is what I want to tell him so Snow won’t feel self conscious and uneasy. However, I’m worried it might come out as _mocking_. And that’s not what I want. (I’m not sure I’m funny, I might be more awkward around people than anything else.)

What can I say to make him less embarrassed? Instead of saying anything and risk making things worse, I stay quiet and move his hand to my lips and kiss it. Simon finally looks up at me. I lean in and kiss his cheek, again and again, I keep trailing kisses on his beautiful face while holding his hand. It makes him smile wide and that’s all I wanted all along — _I want Simon happy._

# SIMON

 _Merlin_ , I sound like a complete dolt because really I shouldn’t have needed a quiz to tell me that wanting to fuck Baz, (not only because it’s him but also because it’s _a_ _him_ , as in I really want to fuck a bloke and definitely don’t want to fuck a girl, any girl at all) meant I’m gay. That should have been a given, but I’m used to suppressing my own feelings and thoughts and trying not to think about anything that’s important. I still thought about Baz, even if I couldn’t admit my feelings to myself or anyone else. It was impossible not to have Baz on my mind all the time, his hold on me was too powerful not to. 

Baz doesn’t let go of my hand and kisses it and then kisses my cheek and my face a lot. I feel better, _instantly_ . Baz is the best kind of medicine, he’s good for everything. And it’s not only his lips and cock but his fingers and skin too. (Maybe there was a reason I thought his fingers were _magickal_ on their own. I mean, a reason other than me being a halfwit.) I wonder what his arse can do for my well being when I finally get to know it on a more _intimate_ level, as in licking it, playing with it using my fingers and Baz’s dildo and maybe even my cock, ( _if_ he wants my cock.) I want to fuck Baz in any way he’d be comfortable with. (When can we do it? Not now of course, since he was lightheaded and shouldn’t strain himself yet.)

Baz seems to be fine with me being an actual moron and isn’t holding it against me if all his sweet and reassuring treatment of me, while I was talking about the quiz, is any indication.

Merlin and _Morgana_ , I still can’t believe Baz liked me our first year. I wouldn't have liked me back then. I’m nothing special now, but I was worse at 11. I could hardly speak, I didn’t even know how to use many words, (nobody talked to me at the care home because nobody liked me.)

I was primitive and aggressive. (At least I’ve gotten better, I think.) How could he have liked me?

For a split second, I wonder why Baz made me cry so much if he liked me. But then I remember how I kept throwing punches at him. The Mage told me that both the Pitches and the Grimms were the worst people. (Baz is both a Grimm and a Pitch.) What was I supposed to think? I was only a child. 

Well, I’m not a child now. I can think for myself. 

_Baz is the best person._

Everything about him is perfect. Everyone knows that. Was the Mage jealous of Baz by any chance? (Isn’t it a bit insane to have been jealous of a small child? Is the Mage _insane_?)

”I tried not to think. That’s why it took this long for me to figure things out,” I explain. Thinking never did me any favours before, it only showed me what I could never have. 

I really hope I can have Baz forever. I’d propose to him today if I didn't think he would laugh at that because it’s too early. We haven’t even been on one date yet. Baz only likes me and did so for seven years which is great news, unbelievable news. I’m extremely lucky to have this kind of good base to work with here. But ”love” and ”like” aren't the same. I still need to court him properly so he’ll eventually fall in love with me.

”About being gay?” 

”About most things, important or difficult, or both.”

“Am I on that list too?” Baz asks and his hand stiffens against mine for a second. 

I shake my head. 

# BAZ

“Of course not,” Snow says and squeezes my hand. “Trying not to think about you is impossible...”

I think about what he just said.

“I can’t decide whether that’s a compliment.”

”It is,” he says, smiling and kissing my lips. Just a peck but it means the world to me. Is Simon saying that he likes to think about me? What is the meaning of it exactly?

# SIMON

”I wish I understood it all earlier, as early as you did.” I admit because Baz told me he wanted to kiss the mole on my cheek since he was twelve, we could have been doing this since our first year. (Well not _all_ of this obviously, but holding hands and kissing on the cheek.)

”I’m glad you know now,” Baz tells me and smiles, a lovely blush is colouring his equally lovely cheeks. I kiss his blush and lean in to whisper in his ear, ”Me too because now I can do this,” and nibble on his ear, (I noticed Baz likes that, it makes him _gasp._ ) 

# BAZ

I keep smiling like an idiot and listen to Snow go on, ”Even though I tried not to think about us — ” he squeezes my hand again and I can’t help but wonder (desperately) what he meant by ”us”.”— I’ve still wanted to do things with you, for years.”

# SIMON

Baz is smiling and that makes me very happy. I want him to know that I was thinking about him too, that he meant a lot. That’s why I’m telling him this. 

”You did?” Baz asks with a wide smile. (I’m so happy, I’m going to tell him more even though it’s embarrassing because it makes me sound like a dolt for not getting things.)

# BAZ

”Yeah. I made a list of everything I ever thought about and it was a strange list to have about one's enemy since it involved a lot of touching that wasn't strictly fighting.” 

He laughs, still looking a bit embarrassed, his blush getting deeper. 

I let myself chuckle at that too, it seemed appropriate to do so, to lighten the mood, (I’m trying my best to keep up with social cues and perhaps even succeeding) and smile after to reassure him. 

I keep holding Simon’s hand in mine and touch his cheek with the other and then I kiss him again. (He seems to get calmer after I do so.) I don’t want Simon to feel embarrassed at any of that. I don’t want him to feel that way about anything when he’s with me. I love him _unconditionally_. 

_I will always love him._

I loved him when I thought he hated me and wanted to kill me. I love him now still when I know he doesn’t. At least it seems that he doesn’t. Instead, Simon Snow had a list about wanting to _touch me_ that wasn’t “strictly fighting”. 

Aleister _Crowley_. That’s a dream come true. (Unless it’s an actual dream my brain cooked up to torment me with when I eventually wake up. The jury is still out.)

Despite the fact that I don’t know what’s on that list, I like it already. (I also have to find out what the list contains _exactly_.)

# SIMON

Baz kissed me a few times and it’s amazing every time when he kisses me first. He seems to be in a good mood now and also feeling fine _physically_. I think it was just that he needed some sugar. I will make sure he eats later and also drinks more juice. 

Now that I’m aware of the issue of Baz’s not eating enough, it’d be easier to make sure there won’t be any repetitions. I should probably suggest just go and get some ice cream instead of playing minigolf. I’m not sure it’s a good idea for Baz to be playing sports after starving all day. Is minigolf a sport? Is it straining? I have no idea, but I won’t risk his health over it. His competitiveness knows no limits. He will take the game very seriously and might overdo it and get lightheaded again. 

Baz seems to be alright with the snogging though. That’s why I eventually sink us down on his bed. It’d be easier for him and also I want to be on top of Baz. (I like that a lot. I like everything with him.)

Baz looks so beautiful lying on his back, surrounded by cushions with kiss swollen lips. 

He’s a true vision — _sensual and flawless_. 

I nibble on his ear again and go lower on his neck, inspecting the love bite I left earlier and licking it and the rest of his neck.

Baz is breathing heavily and _moans_ softly. He has the sexiest breathing I’ve ever heard. 

# BAZ

Simon’s lips feel like heavenly nirvana dancing along my neck, igniting fires inside my heart and my belly. I find his lips with mine eventually and kiss him _desperately_ and greedily while clinging to his shoulders with my arms and wrap my legs around him because I need him and can’t live without him and he’s letting me do this. (I’m very careful to not let my teeth come in contact with his lips, there can never be another incident of accidental bleeding.)

Snow has been encouraging me to kiss him in this manner with all his moans and gasps. I swallow every one of them with my mouth and relish in him and his scent. 

He smells like my shampoo and shower gel now and it’s even better because it’s more intimate, (it seems as if he doesn’t mind my things on him.) Simon looks lovely in his dressing gown. (Yes, it’s _his_ now.)

I want him in my clothing all the time, I want more of it to become _his_ clothing. (Would he let me have it? Him claiming my things as his own, him claiming _me_ as his own?)

# SIMON

Baz wraps his legs around me and the friction between our cocks is getting better. (I might come from this.) I don’t want Baz to strain himself with unnecessary movements after what happened with him earlier. That’s why I move more and push myself harder into him, feeling his arse and his cock. 

_Jesus fucking Christ_ , it’s so good. Baz is so good. I love his body around me. He’s gasping and tightens his grip on my shoulders. 

_I love everything about him._

# BAZ

Despite the kiss being very passionate already, Snow manages to make it deeper, both through his tongue in my mouth and his grinding against my cock and thrusting against my arse despite there being unwanted layers of fabric between us. 

_Aleister fucking Crowley_ , this seems more of dry humping like from earlier today. I want _more_. I want Snow’s cock to burn through my trousers so I can feel him against my skin. I wonder if that’s a realistic dream. 

I wish I could just suggest to him that we can be naked for this, but I don’t want to seem overly needy. (I devoured half the tin of chocolates Snow gave me in front of him already. Surely there are limitations to how much neediness Snow can handle from me.)

Unfortunately, a different hunger is stirring inside me and I try hard to work through _that_ particular desire and let it go. Simon trusts me, I will never break that trust by biting him.

There’s a true need for a bit of a distraction and this time combing through his curls with my fingers helps. (Thank snakes for that.) I can’t help but ponder about our earlier conversation. I would really prefer to know more about what things exactly Snow wants to do to me. (He can do whatever he wants to me of course, I’m just desperate to know _what_ it is and _when_ we can do it.) Anything he thought of, I thought too, or at least would have if I dared to hope for it to ever come true.

What blokes does he think are fit? I need to get my hands on all their names as soon as possible. (That is a true emergency!) On a completely unrelated topic, I should learn hacking skills that will allow me to bypass a mobile password. Is there a spell for it? I can’t help but wonder if that’s what’s called cyberstalking. 

Am I turning into Snow by any chance? I may already have…

I can’t help but wonder what the meaning is of what he told me about wanting me for years? (Am I reading too much in to his words?)

Furthermore, is he truly as experienced in the department of blowjobs as I originally thought him to be since I seem to have been his sexual awakening? That was only a few days ago. How many cocks _realistically_ could he have sucked within this short period of time? It seems unlikely Snow got that much experience. In that case, how is he _this good_?

Another thing my mind keeps circling back to is if Snow took an idiotic quiz and was thinking of me the day before I showed up at the bakery to flirt with him, (don’t give me that look, I was trying to flirt the best I could under _extreme_ mental pressure) does it mean he wasn’t on a date with anyone? Unless he went on a date after he took the quiz? 

Do I have a chance with Snow or is it purely physical for him? I know I said I wouldn’t care, I know I said I’ll take anything, and that is still true. However, I want more, I need _more_.

_I want all of Simon forever._

# SIMON

Baz knows everything now. It’s a relief, both for me but also maybe for him too. Now he never needs to be jealous of anyone around me ever again. He knows that he’s the only one for me. 

I want to tell Baz out loud that I’m in love with him, but it’s too early still. It won’t be morally right to do so, to put it all on him this early in our relationship. 

Most times it’s a real torture not to tell him. The words want to slip out on their own. Especially now with the kiss being all consuming and with so much feeling, while his legs are wrapped around me and I’m thrusting into him _hard_. (I wish Baz was naked now, but I don’t want to push him.)

The intensity of our kiss makes me think that I have a good chance to win his love. 

Baz keeps touching my hair and I also like it a lot. This right here is the perfect moment, (the only thing missing is more access to Baz’s perky arse and him finally tasting my blood.)

I want to tell Baz that I’m in love with him so much. But I need to do things properly, to court him the _correct_ way. 

It’s what Baz deserves. I’ve messed up enough things between the two of us over the years, (even if it was unintentional for the most part.) I need to do everything right this time around.

Still, I hope I get to do it soon — to tell Baz how much _I love him._

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updates will get slower. I could blame it on writing more than one fic but really I’m just too much in my head. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading. There are a few playlists in the notes to lighten the mood.


	22. Chapter 22

# BAZ

It’s been hours — we’re still snogging on my bed. I’m just as giddy as after that first kiss. I have been expertly snogged by Simon Snow for _hours_. He wants me and he wants to go on a date with me.

I keep blushing when we talk, which I hate. However, Simon kisses me senseless because of it. That I don’t hate and want to keep happening. Every time I blush, he either traces his fingertips along my cheeks or kisses me there (usually both) before snogging me. (Snow is actively encouraging me to blush, he must know that.)

# SIMON

Baz blushes a lot — he’s _so_ adorable. 

I keep kissing him and he seems to like that because he smiles. After what happened earlier I understand that Baz is obviously in no state for minigolf. I don’t know how straining minigolf is since I’m not sure if it’s a sport exactly, but still, I don’t want to risk it. If Baz hasn’t eaten enough, the last thing he needs is any sports or anything sports-like.

”Baz, maybe we shouldn’t go to minigolf?” 

”Oh, you don’t want to,” he says and his face is very neutral... too neutral. It reminds me of how he was back at Watford. Does he think I figured it out, that he’s not eating enough and think less of him? Baz can never know what I know about his health. 

”Of course, I do. But it’s a bit late, so maybe we could just get some ice cream or something else and go to minigolf tomorrow, if you want.”

Oh, Baz is looking uncomfortable because he’s worried I figured out his health troubles. I need to treat lightly here and show some _sensitivity_ to his insecurities.

# BAZ

He doesn’t want to go on a date with me, does he? 

_Snow regrets it all, what happened between us._

Or has he planned another date with someone else _after_ our date? Is that how he got so skilled in the science of blowjob — by squeezing in more than one date per day? (Is that what they call ”speed dating”?) 

It would make complete sense. I wish I knew if that is what’s happening here, but I can’t just ask him outright. He’d think me to be jealous and desperate (and I am). Snow can never know...

I would also like to know how much time I get with him today… how long can I enjoy Simon’s company and his smiles and his unbearable beauty? At what time is he moving on to the next person he wants to snog? 

”Are you in a hurry?” I ask with trepidation. 

# SIMON

”No, of course not. I have nowhere to be.”

Baz seems to be having some inner struggle. Is he thinking about telling me about his health issues?

# BAZ

So no date later tonight with anyone else... I get to have Simon to myself. I can’t let him go. I want to prolong this for as much as possible, in case he comes to his senses, regrets it all later and leaves me once and for all... 

Would it be too pathetic to ask Snow to stay the night? I was planning on asking that _after_ letting him win against me in minigolf when he got all chipper and satisfied from the win. Can I still ask?

# SIMON

Baz is a bit too tense about the topic of his health; I need to soothe him as best as I can. I reach for his face and move his beautiful black hair out from Baz’s neck (I’ve accidently untied it earlier while we were snogging, but Baz didn’t seem to mind) and leave kisses along his collarbone, neck and a few behind his ear and nibble on it a bit too. I hear Baz sigh softly against me, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a small smile trying to break free on his luscious lips… 

I kiss them — his lips and hear him exhale.

”Do you want to stay the night?” Baz murmurs against my lips, so I guess he’s not ready to share his medical history with me, but that’s alright. He can take as much time as he needs. And him asking me to sleep over seems very _intimate_ so we are making great progress in our relationship. (Baz is warming up to me faster than I thought.)

”Yes. I’d love to,” I hope I didn’t come on too strong by answering too fast. I also hope Baz doesn’t think that I’m expecting anything from him. I just never want us to be apart. It’s been hard this last week to leave the tree because all I wanted was to stay with Baz. (Even if I tried not to think about why I wanted that.)

Merlin, I just remember that I have work tomorrow.

”I almost forgot, I have to get up early tomorrow for work. Maybe I shouldn’t stay overnight.”

”Oh. So you don’t want to stay then?” Baz asks and I think he might be disappointed but I’m not sure.

# BAZ

Did he change his mind and is he using work as an excuse?

”No. I want to. I just don’t want to be an inconvenience,” he tells me.

”You aren’t.” Simon can never be an inconvenience. 

”Are you sure?” he asks me, looking far too serious. Is Snow really worried about that? I want him with me, I’d follow him to the end of the Earth just to be with him...

”Very sure,” I answer and squeeze his hand to reassure him and then I kiss him. (I will never get tired of his lips and anything else that has to do with Simon.)

# SIMON

”Then I’ll stay,” I tell Baz when we pull apart.

”Good,” Baz smiles at me. He’s so beautiful with a smile on his face. (He’s always beautiful, of course.) I pull him closer to me and snog him.

# BAZ

I don’t mean Snow staying the night like _that_ per se as in us having sex, but I wouldn’t say no to whatever might happen. And by that, I mean obviously that I’m desperately hoping more things will happen. I need him to fuck me, my body and soul (if I have one) need it equally. (I’m all about _equality_.)

# SIMON

I’m really happy Baz doesn’t sleep in a coffin. I mean I would have slept with him still, but I’m glad I don’t have to. It’s a bit of a tight squeeze to do all the things I want to do with Baz if you catch my drift. (Yes, I’m talking about something sexual — anything sexual or snogging, whatever Baz wants.)

”Are we still going to minigolf tomorrow?”

# BAZ

”Minigolf tomorrow?” I ask like an idiot. I just assumed Snow wasn’t being serious. That it was more of saying something for the sake of saying something and then _not_ following through because surely he doesn’t want to spend two days in a row with me...

# SIMON

”If you want to, if you’re not busy,” he doesn’t have to go on a date with me every day. (Even though I wish he’d do that.)

# BAZ

”I want to. I’m not busy,” I answer far too fast and blush. 

I’m desperately trying not to appear too eager for Snow and too needy but at this point, it seems to be a fool's errand with me practically admitting that I’m in love with him through this kind of behaviour. And that _blush_ isn’t helping.

# SIMON

Oh, Merlin, I sure am lucky Baz wasn’t busy.

He’s blushing a lot today. I don’t always understand why but I like it when he does.

I lean in and kiss his cheek and his lips. I can’t _not_ kiss him when he blushes and looks so lovely, can I?

”So what do you say about today?” I ask when we pull apart.

”We could get some ice cream, Snow. You might not be able to survive the evening without sweets otherwise,” he says and smirks at me. 

I’d like to point out that Baz is the one who’s been eating a lot of sweets today, not me, but I’m actually less stupid than you might think. 

By now I figured out that’s how he flirts — with vague _insults_. I’m starting to suspect Baz might have been flirting with me for seven years in his own way. He isn’t always good at this, not all the time, not really. 

I mean Baz is _perfect_ and can do no wrong but his flirting abilities vary from time to time. 

For example, I’m pretty sure we were flirting when Baz came by the bakery and also at the shopping center. 

There are also times when I don’t need to doubt if he’s flirting or not at all. He’s very ”easy to understand” flirty when we’re naked and he’s looking at me with his sultry eyes and tells me what he wants to do to me…(He can do anything he wants to me.) 

Baz is very alluring and could seduce anyone with those eyes. (I hope he’ll only be seducing me from now on.) 

However, talking might not always be his strongest suit, which is ironic, since he’s really good at elocution. (Best in our year.)

I think Baz is nervous around me sometimes which is also ironic since he can do or say _anything_ to me and I still follow him around, (that’s already been proven, especially our fifth year.)

I have no idea what to do to soothe his nerves without pointing out his possible insecurities, except for snogging. (I’ve been doing that _a_ _lot_ today.)

# BAZ

An ice cream date with Simon. That’s a real date. I’ve seen couples get ice cream every summer while I was standing alone in a queue, wishing I had someone. Obviously by someone I mean only one person — _Simon_ _Snow_. I never wanted anyone else and never will… I want to stand in a queue with Simon, holding hands. I don’t think the latter will happen, but that’s alright — getting to be with him is more than I could ever hope for, holding hands or not. I’m so high on happiness, I even forget for a moment the worry of my brain being responsible for this realistic _romantic_ hallucination...

Nonetheless, Simon _feels_ real and I’m not sure I’ll be able to let him leave in the morning. (I never want Snow to leave.)

”Would you rather I drive or would you prefer to walk?” I ask Snow.

# SIMON

”Walk, if you don’t mind. If that’s what you also want?” Baz always lets me choose, but I don’t want to decide everything for the both of us all the time, that’d be wrong and not fair to him. 

However, I think walking is better for him because then he’ll get some fresh air. That might be good after being lightheaded earlier. Walking is good or is walking also too straining? I have no idea...

”Walking it is. I don’t mind,” Baz says and smiles. Alright, Baz must know what’s best…

* * *

# BAZ

I’m purposely going to give Snow my football jersey shirt and sweatshirt from Watford. I will let him assume that those are the only clothing that could fit his broad shoulders. Which will be an obvious lie because everybody knows size altering spells are not that difficult. 

”Perhaps this will fit you, Snow,” I say as I offer him my jersey shirt and a pair of black jeans. If he agrees to wear this, I’ll give him my football sweatshirt as well.

Don’t give me that look. I’m well aware that I’m dressing him in an extremely selfish manner.

I checked the weather. It’s a bit chilly outside and we’re going to walk around. Even with Simon being so warm it might be good if he’s dressed enough. (I’m hoping we'll stay out for a longer time.)

”You want me to wear your football jersey shirt?” he asks puzzled. _Crowley_ , Snow is probably perplexed as to why I haven’t used a size altering spell on another piece of clothing that isn’t my football jersey. I was hoping he wouldn’t think of that...

”I thought it would fit since your shoulders are broader than mine,” I tell him my half truth. And then add just in case, ”Unless you’d prefer I look for something else?” 

# SIMON

Baz gave me his purple football jersey shirt from Watford. At first I thought he gave it to me by accident. But apparently he knew. It wasn’t an error. Baz gave me his jersey _willingly_.

”No, of course not. I want this. Thank you, Baz.” 

I can’t wait to wear it. I’m so glad Baz didn’t have anything else that would fit me and that he’s willing to give it to me. 

# BAZ

Snow suddenly looks delighted. It appears as though he bought into my little ruse. I didn’t lie to Simon — I would never do that — but I did let him assume certain things. 

Apparently I am a ”scheming brat” just as Fiona says.

”Not at all.”

Yes, I still altered the size of my jersey shirt and sweatshirt, but not so much as to make Snow suspicious and just enough so it would still sit tight on him. 

I love seeing Simon in something snug around his arms and shoulders _and_ his arse. That is why I decided not to alter the jeans at all and hope it’ll work for Snow. I will, of course, spell them bigger if he isn’t comfortable in tight jeans. 

I need to see his arse in something tight. Simon has a very nice arse. And if I get a chance I want to squeeze it. (Preferably while he’s fucking me, will it work _logistically_ , can I reach that far?)

I myself needed to change, to match Snow. I can’t put another sweatshirt on or Snow might notice the size difference. That’s why I choose black jeans with a casual cardigan and button up in various shades of purple, instead. 

# SIMON

”I have some new pairs of pants for you,” Baz offers.

”That’s alright, I’m good,” I say because I don’t think I want to wear any. I was right to do so because a lovely blush is colouring his cheeks as he watches me shimmy myself in his jeans.

As it seems, Baz likes the idea of it just as much as I liked it when I saw him in trousers without pants under when I undressed him this morning. 

Maybe I should skip pants on our date tomorrow as well. 

# BAZ

Crowley, Snow is skipping pants. If I'd ask for wishes, I’d ask for him to never wear any…

I won't put on any myself either since he didn’t.

# SIMON

Baz isn’t putting any pants on either and goes straight for a pair of jeans. It’s so hot and it’d be easier to reach his cock if we were to do anything. (Even though I’m pretty sure we won’t since we’ll be in public.)

Baz is checking out my arse when I put on his jeans. (They are very snug, I like it actually.) He seems to be into my arse. I may be very thick, but I’m not blind. (The mirrors around his bedroom helped.) And Baz is blushing and looks embarrassed now that he sees that I’ve noticed. I snog him. (It seems to be helping a lot with his stress level.)

While I’m putting on his jersey, Baz blushes again and clears his throat. ”The weather app says it’s chilly and going to get even colder towards the evening.”

Oh, is Baz going to give me something else to wear instead of his football jersey? I’m already wearing it and really wish I didn’t have to take it off.

It has ”PITCH 61” on the back. I like wearing it, it makes me feel like Baz really fancies me a lot. He must, right? Baz loves football so if he is willing to lend me those it must mean that he’s warming up to me a lot. 

# BAZ

Snow’s face falls for some reason. Does he not want to walk in the cold or to eat ice cream? Is Snow going to cancel our date because of the weather?

”Do you want me to wear something else?” He asks with a weird expression. I still can't figure out if Snow is against walking in the cold or not? However, I try to hope for the best. If I’m lucky, another piece of clothing might just sway him to go out for ice cream after all. I could also suggest going to a café for a cup of hot coffee instead, of course...

”Perhaps you’d want to wear a sweatshirt, so you don’t freeze, ” I say and offer him my football sweatshirt and hope he accepts both it and our date.

”That’s so kind of you, Baz. Yes, thank you, ” he says and is beaming all of a sudden.

Snow makes very little sense today… 

Or is it me? Am I missing the big picture or some crucial information due to my brain’s over-analyzing capacity of every single detail? 

Or it could be that I’m just misreading his face… 

Perhaps Snow looks in this manner all the time and I’m just noticing it first now due to this fortuitous and unexpected close proximity to him… That could be it.

Nonetheless, I enjoy seeing Simon beaming. I kiss him and he kisses me back very eagerly. (Unless it’s my brain making things up yet again.)

# SIMON

Baz gave me both his football jersey shirt and sweatshirt and then kissed me. He has done that — kissing me first a few times today — I love it and I love him.

Merlin, this day sure can’t get any better. I mean unless Baz says he wants me to fuck him — then it’ll get much _much_ better… I need to be inside Baz’s beautiful and elegant arse — with my tongue or my fingers, his dildo and my cock if he’d want it, of course. 

I want to push it deep inside him and make Baz tremble and moan with pleasure. But I still have no idea if he wants me to fuck him with my cock or not. (He hasn’t indicated either way yet.)

I feel so happy wearing Baz’s football clothing, I can hardly believe it to be true. I’m used to wearing Agatha’s lacrosse sweatshirt and I liked doing it a lot but only because it made me feel as if I belonged at Watford, belonged among magicians. I wanted to feel like one of them. It’s different now. I want to wear both Baz’s jersey and his sweatshirt because they are _specifically_ his because I want to feel a part of him on me. Him willing to give them to me means a lot, just like with his dressing gown. It’s about Baz and not about anything else…

Both the jersey shirt and the sweatshirt must be a little loose on him, but maybe he wants it like that sometimes. I think he doesn’t own much else that’s loose. Baz has been wearing his tight clothing all week, so obviously had nothing else to lend me. 

”Simon, would you prefer to get some coffee instead of ice cream?” Baz asks me after the kiss.

I wonder what would be better for him… Is coffee an appropriate beverage to have after being dehydrated and having low blood sugar? Isn’t it dehydrating? Is it the same with the caffeine-free alternative? Merlin, I have no idea…

Is Baz asking me because he wants to get some coffee or is he being polite? He was talking about the weather before… Is _he_ going to be cold? I’d keep him warm if he wants to and feels comfortable with or we could always eat ice cream indoors… 

”Both work for me, Baz. We can do one today and the other another time, or do both today. What do you want?”

Oh, I hope I wasn’t pushy again… I just got too excited and also worried about Baz and his health.

# BAZ

 _Another time?_ Is Snow planning on seeing me again after today and tomorrow's minigolf date? I want to see him every day. I never want to be apart from Simon…

”We can see when we get there. I suppose you might need both so you don’t starve before dinner.”

He gives me a wide grin. ”Sounds good.” 

I finally relax and let myself look at Simon and take all of him in.

He’s so hot in tight jeans and his shoulders look really good in my jersey shirt. 

_Crowley_. That’s a sight to behold, second to his cock of course. Nothing can beat that magnificent specimen of perfection and glory. 

I love the fact that my name is on his back now. Perhaps Simon will warm up to the idea of me if he keeps wearing my clothing… When he puts on my football sweatshirt too, I almost die of happiness. First Snow was wearing the dressing gown with my initials and was fine with it and now this.

# SIMON

Baz could have used a spell to alter his clothing but I don’t want to bring attention to it now that he offered me his football sweatshirt. 

He hardly uses any magic around me, which is a shame because I might be addicted to Baz’s magic, especially if he touches _me_ with it. 

Also, I want Baz to touch me and I want to touch him. I want there to be a lot of touching, involving our hands, lips, tongues and cocks. And yes I’m repeating myself again, but also Baz’s _arse_. I need to touch it with anything I can. I can’t really stop talking about Baz’s arse. I’m obsessed beyond reason — madly obsessed and that is fitting since I’m also madly in love with Baz, not only his arse. 

If Penny were here now, she’d make me explain myself. Not for being gay, I’m pretty sure she already knows that. No, she’d think it’s strange that I’m obsessing again and can’t stop talking about Baz. But it’s always been this way...

All of these feelings were there before, I just didn’t realize what they were and what they meant. So it’s the same obsession... just explained differently. And yes, I have seen Baz’s arse now so I also have some visual to work with. (It’s quite the visual, I’m lucky I can walk and talk at all after seeing his arse, all I want is to finally gain access to it.)

Baz is wearing snug black jeans and a purple shirt and cardigan. He looks very beautiful. 

I think we match since I’m also wearing black jeans and his purple jersey shirt. I wonder if Baz noticed...

# BAZ

When we’re done with clothing I’m stuck with the need to style my hair. However, I have no idea how to bring it up without completely embarrassing myself. 

My hair looks terrible now. Snow pulled off my elastic when he buried his hands in it while we were snogging (I didn’t mind that of course since I desperately crave all and any touches from him), but I can clearly see in the mirror what a disaster my hair has become since I didn’t style it right away and let it dry on its own like a barbarian.

# SIMON

Baz is a bit nervous again now that we’re getting dressed. I have no idea why. 

”Do we need to do anything more?” I ask in case there’s something. I think there’s something...

# BAZ

” _Hair_. I mean fix the hair,” Crowley, this isn’t going well. Snow might think I’m a moron now.

# SIMON

I think Baz worries a lot about needing to explain everything to me because I’m a moron. But I actually know what to do with my hair. (The hairdresser taught me.) 

However, Baz seems to always feel better when he helps me out with personal grooming for some reason, like with the moisturizer and all. And I want to put Baz at ease. I also want to feel his magic on me.

# BAZ

”Will you help me with mine? I don’t have any hair products with me,” Snow says and my nerves calm down.

”Of course. Come on Snow.” I lead him to the washroom, making sure he gets a good view of my derrière in a pair of extremely snug jeans. (Nothing in life comes for free. I need to work hard to insure Snow’s interest in me _and_ I need to bring his attention to my arse at all times so he’ll eventually want to fuck me.)

I don’t dare suggest my magic since Snow might be repulsed by that. I wet his hair a notch and put my Motion Lotion in it instead and his hair looks great. His curls are vibrant and full of life but tamed. (He’d need something else if we were to stay the whole day out since his hair is much curlier and wilder than mine.)

Snow looks in the mirror and then at me, a bit nervous and shy.

”Um- Would you use a spell on my hair too?”

”A beauty spell?” I ask to clarify since this is an odd interaction. I’ve noticed years ago that Snow doesn’t like people casting spells on him...

”Yes, but only if you don’t mind, ” he says and blushes.

That’s strange, there’s nothing wrong with his hair. And I’m known for noticing details, I can’t _not_ notice them, (it’s a blessing and a curse.)

Am I losing my touch by any chance or is Snow’s vision faulty? I haven’t had the pleasure of fucking his brains out _yet_. Still waiting desperately for that to happen...

Besides, Simon doesn’t seem to miss other details though, like one of mine stray hairs he tucked behind my ear when he kissed me. 

However, perhaps this means that he’s warming up to both me and my magic.

”Of course I don’t mind, one moment,” I say and pull my wand from my sleeve.

# SIMON

I wanted to feel Baz’s magic on me but didn’t know how to ask for it.

”Thank you,” I say and blush again after he casts the spell. His magic feels like fire, I love it. 

Baz kisses me before he goes on to styling his own hair. He’s squeezing it a lot, more so than my own. I knew that squeezing helps to settle the curls, (the hairdresser taught me.) But Baz’s hair isn’t curly, why would he need to do that?

Oh, I get it — there's more volume to it now.

Baz’s hair looks perfect and beautiful when he’s done — shiny, silky, falling in waves around his face. That’s my favourite look on him.

Everything about Baz is perfect and beautiful, of course.

The bottle with the styling product Baz used on us looks just like the one I got from the hairdresser, only a different colour. That’s weird, I thought Baz would only use very posh expensive products. 

Obviously I have no idea how these kinds of things vary in price or poshness. Are the products hairdresser sells _more_ expensive than from a grocery store? I have no idea. Until yesterday I washed my hair with soap.

 _Merlin and Morgana_ , this must mean that I’ve definitely, without a doubt, become a real snob — I only want Baz’s posh cock and apparently also use the same kind of hair products that Baz does. Will the Mage be disappointed in me?

The Mage hates snobs. He doesn’t only dress like Robin Hood, he also takes from the rich and keeps everything to himself and his men just like Robin Hood did. 

Oh wait, no Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor, he never kept anything. 

Does it mean the Mage and his men are poor and that’s why they keep everything for themselves? But Penny’s brother Premal is one of the Mage’s men and the Bunces are rich. Isn’t the Mage also rich since he has a hefty salary from being _both_ ”the Mage” — leader of the Coven and the headmaster of our school?

Does it mean that the Mage and his men are just taking other people’s things for fun if they don’t actually need anything? Also, is that really alright to just take other people’s personal belongings? Shouldn’t that be against the law? If someone steals a Normal police always arrest the criminal and put that person in jail. 

Why isn’t _he_ locked in a tower? (That’s where the Coven puts criminals.)

I wonder if the Mage is going to steal my leprechaun’s gold. (It’s still in my wardrobe back at Watford.) (Maybe I should count it when I get back.)

I’ve been thinking that I really need to call Penny. She’s never going to tattle on me to the Mage. She doesn’t like him and she always tried to get me to stay in contact with her during summers. I refused every time because the Mage told me I wasn't allowed. 

But I’m 18 now so I'm free to make my own decision. I just hope he won’t kick me out of Watford for disobeying him. He always talks about how everyone with magic is welcomed at Watford but I’m neither a mage nor a pixy. I’m only a Normal, (that’s what Agatha says at least.) Maybe Miss Possibelf can talk the Mage out of expelling me. She likes me despite my magic spreading smoke during class.

* * *

# BAZ

It’s after five in the afternoon and we manage to leave the house. It was touch and go for a while, with all the snogging. I didn’t mind that part in the slightest but I do want to go on a date with Simon. It means a lot to me that he wants to be seen with me in public. 

I send a message to prepare my father for the upcoming shock.

 **Me** **(17:46):** Good afternoon, Father. I wanted to inform you that I will be missing dinner tonight. I am currently on a date with Simon Snow, my roommate from Watford, the Mage’s heir. Simon will be staying the night.

I told Father on my eighteenth birthday that if he can’t accept me for who I am, I’m moving in with Fiona and dropping Grimm. (Father was horrified.) This obviously didn’t entail me going on a date with Simon Snow — the Chosen One. My father isn’t going to be too happy about it but I doubt he’ll dispute. Despite everything, I know he loves me and wants me to be happy. (I can’t be happy with anyone but Simon.) I suspect there will be a conversation tomorrow about this. I’m prepared to tell my father the truth.

As Snow and I walk, I feel extremely unsure how to proceed. I’m assuming there won’t be much hand holding in case one of his suitors happens to see us. Surely he has some, even if he just figured out that he’s gay. Perhaps he cancelled all the dates with girls and started booking blokes instead. It’d be exceedingly easy for Snow to accomplish. He’s so beautiful, like the sun or a ray of sunshine, and charming. There must be a queue waiting to date him...

# SIMON

I’m not sure if holding Baz’s hand is overstepping. Does he want me to? I want to hold his hand very much. (I think I need constant physical access to Baz for the sake of my wellbeing.) 

# BAZ

We’re walking side by side, Snow and I. The back of his hand brushes against mine… I carefully brush back…

Does this mean he wants to hold hands? I want to but I’m worried he’ll think I'm too needy and perhaps he doesn’t want people to see… or he’d worry that some of his other suitors might spot us…

# SIMON

The back of my hand accidentally brushes against his… Baz brushes back and I touch his fingers with mine. Does it mean he wants to hold hands? He isn’t pulling away. I look at Baz, but he’s looking straight ahead, not looking my way. His fingers are still touching mine, I take a deep breath and take his hand. 

Baz still isn’t looking at me, but his hold on my hand tightens. I lace our fingers together and see a small smile inching up on his face, that he’s trying not to show me. 

# BAZ

Aleister _Crowley_ , Simon is holding my hand out in the open. I can’t show him how happy it makes me, he’ll surely think me pitiful. I’ve been pathetic and needy enough for one day. I need to try and play it cool. Crowley, I have no idea how to do that, do I?

# SIMON

I bring our joined hands to my mouth and kiss his fingers. It makes Baz smile… He never tells me what he likes or wants and it’s hard to figure it all out on my own. But I think I’m starting to get things right.

Baz is still warm. Perhaps it’ll be okay for him to eat ice cream after all.

”Do you want to eat ice cream or get some coffee or both?”

# BAZ

If Snow is indeed serious about going on more dates with me besides tomorrow’s minigolf, I need to prolong this for as long as I can. We had coffee yesterday, I don’t want to bore him with the same kind of activity two days in a row...

”Ice cream today, if you don’t mind, if you’re alright with that.” 

”I don’t mind,” he tells me.

”It’s decided then,” I say and add because I’m feeling _extremely_ courageous. ”We’ll get coffee next time.” I like the idea of saving another outing with him for later.

 _Crowley_ , I hope it didn’t come out too desperate. Surely not if Snow suggested this himself earlier.

# SIMON

 _Merlin_ , I’m so lucky — Baz wants to go on another date with me besides the minigolf tomorrow. And surely if Baz says he prefers to eat ice cream today it means he can handle the cold. I will make sure to hold his hand all the time, both because I really want to and also so he doesn’t get cold.

If I have to be honest, I would rather warm him up with my mouth, while kissing all of him and then sucking his _posh_ cock or licking his beautiful behind _._ When will I get to do that I wonder — licking his _flawless arse_.

”Perfect, let’s do that.”

# BAZ

”Care for a walk before we get ice cream, Snow?” I suggest as we get near a park. Snow has been cooped up indoors all day and he’s used to being constantly in a battle, somewhere outdoorsy I presume. (I’m not entirely sure where one goes to have battles.)

Simon needs fresh air and a bit of activity before he gets sugar. It’d be irresponsible otherwise.

# SIMON

”Yeah, sounds great,” I answer. I think it’d be good for Baz to get some fresh air even though we walked here. It’s better in a park with all the trees, more oxygen. (I think that’s how it works.) He might get a better appetite. 

We’re walking and are still holding hands. It makes me very happy. I want to take this opportunity to get to know Baz more. (I’ve been trying to do that all day, not always succeeding.)

He doesn’t talk about Watford but I know how important school is for Baz. So I try to say something and hope it goes better than when I tried to start a conversation about football and ended up saying extremely inappropriate things…

”What’s your favourite subject at school?” 

Oh, Merlin. I did it! I asked a simple question about something that matters to Baz without making it sound creepy _or_ inappropriate.

”All of them, ” Baz says and then suddenly looks shy and blushes. I already knew that Baz is very smart and recently have realized that he’s also a bit of a nerd. I like that about him. 

What I didn't know and now strongly suspect is that Baz isn’t as confident as I always thought him to be. We’re still walking but I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it, mindful of where I step, ”That’s because you’re smarter than everyone in our year.” 

I think it’s appropriate to give Baz a compliment when he’s acting a bit shy, to lighten the mood and make him smile instead. I don’t think this would be considered emotionally pushy.

At least Baz doesn’t seem offended at all and is smirking instead. (Mission accomplished.)

# BAZ

Aleister _Crowley_ , Simon just called me smart and he hasn’t stated it as an insult. Unless I misunderstand his intention...

”Even Bunce?” I smirk and ask out of sheer happiness before I understand what I’m saying. I regret it as soon as the words left my mouth. It was foolish of me to bring up his best friend, who’s been trying to beat me relentlessly to top of the class. I shouldn't have done that. Snow will surely be cross with me now.

”Yes, even Penny, ” he says laughing, not a worry on his face. I’m shocked beyond reason and look at him in disbelief. ”But don’t tell her I say that she might curse me.”

That makes me laugh. A juvenile snorty laugh. 

I try to speak through laughter, ”I promise not to tell her. You have my word.”

# SIMON

I love it when he snorts, it’s adorable. ”I trust you, Baz, ” I say and lean in just a bit. I have no idea if he feels comfortable kissing in public. But he closes the distance with a shy smile. 

I’m holding his hand and put my other on his chest and feel Baz’s soft moan in my mouth. This ends up being a full on snog. Baz is so passionate when we kiss, I almost lose my footing. 

However, I don’t think I’m the only one affected by this. We end up walking while snogging and almost wander into a lamppost, the both of us. 

# BAZ

We get to the queue after a nice relaxing stroll through the park with a lot of snogging. (You’d be right to assume that by ”relaxing” I mean it was anything but since I was getting extremely aroused and tried my best to keep my hands _off_ Snow's cock.)

Simon was holding my hand all that time, through both the walking and the kissing. He still is.

There’s someone behind us looking at me. I think that person is interested in my cardigan. (I have impeccable taste.) 

Snow, on the other hand, looks livid for some unknown reason. 

# SIMON

Baz and I are on our first date. It’s the groundbreaking first step to me becoming his boyfriend. Unfortunately, there’s a bloke in the queue who dares to look at Baz and ruin our perfect moment. 

If this person thinks he can try to steal Baz from me, he’s sorely mistaken. I’ll chop his head off before I let him get anywhere near Baz. I’m fast. It’ll only take a few seconds for me, wouldn’t be the first time I decapitated someone; might not be the last either if people keep coming too close to Baz. 

However, I’m trying to be a good person for Baz, doing my best to improve. 

”That’s well invasion of our comfort zone, mate. Take a step back,” is what I think I could have mastered to tell him (against my better judgment and all my instincts) and given the bloke a few seconds jumpstart, a chance to leave _before_ I put him six feet under. 

Great snakes, I guess I’m becoming a _real_ _pacifist_ since I started dating Baz. I’m willing to give the bloke a few seconds to flee before killing him. 

That’s how pacifism works right? Maybe I should consider joining one of those Peace organisations after Watford? Penny talks about them a lot, how important those are. She thinks we need more peace in the world. And I wholeheartedly agree, of course. I think I’m suitable for whatever mission one of those peace organisations send me on. 

Unless there are going to be long missions, because I don't want to be away from Baz for too long. But maybe he’ll want to join too. He hasn’t killed anyone before but surely not everyone who volunteers has to kill people. 

Perhaps Baz could be of use with all the languages he speaks. Linguistics — that’s desirable for peace and interrogation or am I wrong? Baz speaks Latin and that seems as a very useful language. (Many powerful spells are written in Latin.) He can do that — talking, while I beat people up… 

Still, I don’t want to make Baz aware of my jealousy right now. That’d be considered coming on too strong. 

Looking at Baz by other people should be punishable by law. That’s not weird but it might be creepy. Oh, Merlin… I might be very creepy, not only about this but in general as well.

Baz is so smart. Has he already figured it out — how creepy I am? I hope he doesn’t mind it too much. 

# BAZ

” _Simon_ , they have sour cherry ice cream cornets. Perhaps you’d like that,” I squeeze his hand and try to gain back his attention. Snow looks as if he might punch the bloke in the queue behind us or use the Sword of Mages to chop his head off. Simon is short tempered and tends to go for the sword more often than not. 

Granted, I don’t mind his personality, (even though I myself am not used to death despite my being half dead on a good day.) Simon is who I love and want, homicidal tendencies not excluded. 

However, I want him to pay attention to me rather than someone else while we’re on our _first_ date. I never even dared hope for this, despite yearning for Simon every time I stood in this queue. 

Surely this rivalry can wait? We’re getting ice cream, holding hands — in public, where people can see us. There are no secrets where Snow is ashamed of me, of our relationship. (Are we in a relationship? Well, whatever dating means… he seems not to be ashamed to be open about it.)

The magnitude of a first date isn’t lost on me. (It’s all I ever dreamt about.) It probably means much less to Snow.

I simply want a few more moments to enjoy this sensation — being on a real date with Simon, where he looks at me and not other people. (Yes, I'm being greedy and I know it.)

”Sorry?” Snow asks and turns his gaze back to me. I lock eyes with him and try my best to keep his interest. 

He's too tense, still. Does the person remind him of someone he knows? Or is Snow in general against other people? I thought he liked people, everyone back at school at least… Or has he been hankering for a battle? (I myself am not a stranger to yearning, although in my case it’s Snow’s cock, lips and smiles that I crave.)

Is there a chance for Snow to see me as appealing as a possible battle? I doubt I can give him the same adrenaline rush or pleasure (especially while in public, since I clearly can’t drop to my knees, take him in my mouth and suck his magnificent cock until he explodes in orgasm right here right now and covers me in his come) but I can try something out...

In any case, I need to calm him down and I might have an idea how to do just that. It helped while we were in my bedroom and Simon was stressed. Surely it could help now as well when he’s angry. Or is it not how it works?

I lean carefully into Simon and my body is almost pressed to him, feeling his warmth and _him_. He looks at me and my lips. I tilt my head down just a bit and put my hand on his chest because I have no idea if Snow is comfortable snogging while people might be watching. However, to my utter delight, Simon closes the distance between our lips fast and I finally relax, into his touch and his kiss. (His body is slowly losing tension.)

I wish Snow would kiss me even more. For Crowley’s sake, who cares that we’re in a queue now. It’s not the eighteen hundreds.

# SIMON

Since I don’t want to let Baz know how jealous I am, I need to not so subtly point out that Baz is already taken and make this bloke leave us alone. 

I’m glad Baz went in for a kiss himself, not sure what would have happened otherwise. That bloke should be happy and forever grateful to Baz for me not ending up killing him on sight. (My mind is a scary place.)

One of my hands end up on Baz’s stomach, the other on his waist. He seemed to be receptive to kissing around people. 

I would have snogged Baz even more but I didn’t think he would have liked that. He’s properly raised and well mannered. He wouldn’t have approved a full on snog. Too undignified. 

I wonder if Baz will deem my desire to suck his cock somewhere behind a large tree tomorrow after I lose the game of minigolf to him as dignified behaviour? I really want to do that — suck his cock after minigolf. (It has become a bit of a fix idea for me — those can’t be shaken off easily.)

Let’s hope there will be some tall, good trees around the minigolf court. Obviously, I would have done that here in the park as well. But there might be too many people with families around us and an ice cream date at a park is more of an ”innocent” kind of date, I guess…

I think the kiss was enough to make everything clear. But to be sure, just as Baz and I pull apart, I glare at that bloke over Baz’s shoulder and try to convey with my face how easy it’d be to kill him before turning my head back to Baz. Seems that person isn’t as dumb as he looks — he left the queue right away.

# BAZ

When we pull apart, I worry first that something is still wrong but when I get a look at Simon’s face, he smiles at me and I feel his fingers moving in circles on my stomach, unfortunately over my clothing… However, I don’t want to be greedy. I’m more than grateful for Snow to finally pay attention to me and not some random person in the queue.

”The sour cherry ice cream has real pieces of fruit in, your favourite, it’s delicious.” I say because of course, I know how it tastes. 

”Sour cherries _are_ my favourite,” he says with a look of disbelief and gives me a wide grin.

# SIMON

For seven years I always paid attention to Baz, almost exclusively. I watched him during every meal, wishing he would look back at me, (even if I couldn’t admit that to myself out loud.) But he never gave me more than a few sneers in return. 

Since Baz told me that he fancied me for seven years I’m starting to suspect that he might have watched me more than I thought. Because he keeps bringing up all my favourite foods. At first, I thought it was just a lucky coincidence with roast beef sandwiches and cheese and ham rolls. But now I start to think that Baz just knows me, _really_ knows me.

# BAZ

”So you’ve tried it before?” Snow asks me.

”Once or twice, maybe more,” I try to stay vague because I’ve been eating it every summer while thinking about Snow. However, I’m not foolish enough to tell him that. (He’d be surely revolted by my desperation.) 

”The waffle in cornet is baked with butter,” I add and hope it’ll make him happy since Simon loves butter as much as he loves sour cherries. And I was correct in that assumption since Snow is beaming after I mentioned it.

# SIMON

Baz was definitely paying attention to me at Watford much more than I thought...

# BAZ

”I’ll take that one. What are you getting then?”

”Same,” I answer because it might be smart for my lips to taste like Snow’s favourite flavour. (He will surely snog me more then.)

”Two sour cherry ice cream cornets, please,” he says and hands the money to the seller.

“You don’t have to pay for me, Simon.” 

I’ve been trying my best to only call him by his first name the whole day. He kisses me _senseless_ when I do so. That right there is an extremely effective Pavlov technique just like with touching and snogging me every time I blush. (I wonder if Snow might be secretly interested in science.)

He takes my hand again, laces his fingers with mine, they fit perfectly together. He holds my hand tight and leans into me a bit carefully as if he’s trying to give me time to pull away. Does he think I don’t want that because we’re next in line? I couldn’t honestly care less about that. How long of an inconvenience are we to anyone? One minute at best. Besides, the ice cream hasn’t been served yet.

When he pulls away, he gifts me one of his previous smiles... Simon has a very beautiful smile. 

“It’s a date, Baz.”

 _I’m on a date with Simon Snow._

My brain still hasn’t quite accepted this as my new reality.

I blush when Snow says that and as predicted he traces his fingers along my cheek and kisses me. (He doesn’t wait this time.)

# SIMON

I kissed Baz because he’s so lovely when he blushes. And it makes me think he likes me a lot. Baz seems to be alright to kiss in front of the seller. (I have no quarrels with that myself either, not like we’re having a full on snog or anything.)

# BAZ

It’s all I want for us to kiss all the time. Well, that and for him to _fuck_ me. I need him to do that. I also start to wonder if perhaps he’d be interested in _me_ fucking _him_ after all. Snow was the one to bring up the topic of me fucking his mouth. I’m not exactly sure if one automatically follows the other. But nonetheless, it makes me wonder... 

I want anything and everything Simon wants. What does he want? I’d wish he was more _specific_. 

# SIMON

After we get ice cream and leave — I snog Baz a lot more and in the way that I want to — with tongue, our bodies closer, pressing into each other, while my hand finds its way to the small of his back, (not his arse mind you, I still remember that we’re in public and am trying to behave _dignified_ despite it being exceedingly hard.) 

I pull us even closer together, so there’s no distance between us now. I can feel Baz, all of him, including his cock twitching against me. I’m so ecstatic but still somehow managed _not_ to drop the cornet. I do lose the napkin though.

# BAZ

The kiss Snow gifts me with is incredible — very passionate and almost possessive, I might add. Simon pulls me in, I go more than willingly — our bodies flush. My arms are around his shoulders while I’m trying to be mindful of the ice cream. 

I’m not ashamed of getting aroused, especially since I can feel his cock responding to the snogging in the same manner… stirring against me… I love Simon’s cock and want to do very vulgar things to it, _constantly…_

I get so overwhelmed I almost drop the ice cream cornet despite trying to hold my composure. I'm a vampire, for Crowley’s sake. That would have been extremely embarrassing. 

I want Snow to kiss me in this manner all the time. Is it the sour cherry ice cream in butter waffle cornet that got him this excited? I knew he’s weak for food, of course. However, I had no idea Snow would be this thrilled about it. I’m not complaining, instead, I’m filing this information away for future use...

We settle down on a nearby park bench to eat the ice cream.

I get out my mobile when I hear an incoming message. (It must be my father.)

 **Father** **(19:26):** Good afternoon, Basilton. Very well. Vera will leave dinner for two in the refrigerator. Have a good evening.

 **Me** **(19:27):** Thank you, Father. 

That’s perhaps the best encouragement I could have gotten from my dad and he even managed to answer within less than two hours. It’s not afternoon anymore, but I should count my father's ability to even spell correctly at this point as a true blessing.

I change Snow’s name on my mobile while he’s busy with his ice cream. 

**My Simon.** He isn’t mine _yet_ , but I won’t give up until he is. I’ll do _anything_ to keep him.

# SIMON

Baz got a text message and I’m worried it’s Niall. I know that Baz fancies me but I don’t trust Niall who is clearly trying to weasel his way in Baz’s heart by pretending to be his best friend.

I don’t want to ask Baz who he’s messaging with because I don’t want him to know I’m jealous and I’m not sure I have the right to do so. We’re still on our first date. I have a lot of courting to do before I can stake my claim on him. That came out a bit creepy… 

What I mean is that there must be a protocol as to when a couple agrees not to see other people. I’m guessing it takes more than one date. It’s when I finally can ask Baz to be my boyfriend, _officially_. And for that to happen I need to court him properly first. 

# BAZ

Snow looks at me intently, not sure what’s that about exactly. Has he noticed that I changed his name on my mobile or perhaps suspects?

”It’s my dad. Vera will leave us dinner in the refrigerator,” I explain and hope Snow hasn’t noticed everything I was doing on my phone. Surely mention of food will distract him and make him forget everything else.

# SIMON

So it wasn’t Niall, thank magic. I really need to find the bloke and have a good and long talk with him. (Yes, punching him a few times, probably more will do.)

I can’t kill Niall, of course, since he convinced Baz that they are best friends and I would never do anything to upset Baz.

I’m glad there will be dinner for us. Baz needs to eat more. 

Sour cherry ice cream is very tasty. But really — Baz is my favourite flavour. 

# BAZ

How am I to win Snow over now? I was supposed to lose to him in the game of minigolf and in this manner ensure he’ll like me more. What can I do with ice cream? 

I suppose I could always eat it slower than Snow and let him win that way. But it doesn’t seem as satisfying to him as an actual game of sports. (Is minigolf a sport?) He might not see this as a win since he always eats faster than anyone. 

Well, not always… Snow didn’t do that either yesterday or today. If anything he ate and drank painstakingly slow. Perhaps that could be a challenge after all...

What shall I do? Do I try to eat my ice cream slower than he eats his? I honestly have no idea how to keep Snow interested in me.

# SIMON

 _Jesus fucking Christ._ I thought Baz licking whipped cream from his latte at the café was borderline pornographic. Well, it had nothing on _this._

I’m watching awestruck as Baz eats his ice cream. He’s doing it so slowly and I could come just from watching him. It’s extremely pornographic and he’s hardly even licking it. I’ve watched some _actual_ porn, (to get pointers on what to do with Baz.) But this — what he’s doing right now — it’s so much more of a turn on than any porn could ever be. (Let’s face it, everything Baz does or says is automatic arousal for me.)

# BAZ

I think Snow enjoys watching me eat ice cream, (I’d rather have him and his cock — a true extravagance) since it seems as if he has completely forsaken his own.

Who would have thought Snow concentrating on me instead of anything he can put in his mouth to be even slightly possible? My vote would have been on Snow enjoying _himself_ eating ice cream and not paying any attention to his surroundings until after he devoured all his food. 

However, if I’m not mistaken, Snow looks as if he wants to devour _me_.

Aleister _Crowley_ , he’s so hot when he looks like that — aroused and flushed. (He’s always hot.) I want Snow to shag me right now. He won’t of course, but I want him to.

# SIMON

I want Baz to lick my cock just as slow, or let me lick his cock and suck it like that, or let me fuck him. I want that so bloody much I’m not sure I can wait until we’re back in his bedroom. If Baz were to say right this moment that he wants me to do it — I will.

I’d probably just fuck him here on this bench. Baz could put some kind of concealment spell around us, can’t he? (He’s very powerful.)

But we don’t have a dildo…that’s a real shame… Can’t we bring the dildo with us _next_ time, just in case? (I like to be prepared for a mission.)

I know Baz is not ready for any of that. I just really want to do everything with him.

” _Fuck_ ,” I’m just noticing that my ice cream started to melt while I was watching Baz’s pornographic eating of his ice cream and I got some on my finger. I don’t have a napkin and I’ve been trying hard to use good manners around him.

Baz looks at me, at my ice cream stained finger, raises his eyebrow and smirks. 

”Problem, Snow?” Merlin, Baz is _so_ hot when he looks like that and also _talks_. 

That's double trouble right there. I’m very hard and Baz looking at me now combined with the images of him eating ice cream are making my head spin.

” _N-no_ ,” I choke out because I can’t breathe. There’s no fucking air here, anywhere. What kind of park is this, for Christ’s sake?

I’m blushing and stuttering but Baz doesn’t laugh at me. He reaches for my hand leans down a bit, takes my finger in his mouth and licks it. He does all that while still holding my gaze. 

_Fuck…_ I’m pretty sure I’m very close… so very _very_ close…

”It’s a shame to let all that ice cream go to waste,” he says and licks his lips after, _slowly._

I almost jump at Baz afterwards and kiss him because what else is there to do, really? (We accidentally drop ice cream. Since it’s the both of us it’s slightly less embarrassing.)

# BAZ

I hate littering. However, right now I’m too focused on Snow to do anything about it. I will need to spell the mess we’ve made and to throw everything in the rubbish bin before we leave.

We’re kissing and it feels wonderful. The bulge in Snow’s jeans (my jeans that I want to become _his_ ) is unmistakable. I should lick his finger more often. 

I want to feel his cock with my hands and my mouth. (Also my arse, so very _very_ much... above everything else.) I want him to take me here and now. I could probably get away with casting ”There’s nothing to see here!”

Snow wouldn’t want to do that out in the open of course...

# SIMON

I put one hand around Baz’s neck, moving up to his hairline, (would he be okay with me messing with his hair while we’re out I wonder) the other on his stomach. He’s ripped and fit and I want to tear all his clothes off him right now and fuck him. (We’re not there yet, of course.) 

But I _can_ snog him. I’m so hard I feel as if I could explode just from looking at him...

 _Fuck_ , I need to settle down, we’re in public. Can Baz see I’m hard? I hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea and think I want his hands or his mouth on my cock now. I mean, I do, very much. But I know we’re in public and Baz wouldn’t want to do that...

# BAZ

I’m clinging to him, just like I’ve been doing. (I’m very clingy.) 

I didn’t slide my hands under his shirt, no matter how much I crave more access to Snow and his skin… Furthermore, I’m refraining from touching his cock over the jeans or inside them, (which I would have prefered.)

Talk about an abundance of self-control.

Instead, my hands end up in Snow’s hair, enjoying the feeling of his beautiful soft curls. (I hope he doesn’t mind, I’m trying not to disturb them too much.) We’re both moaning while snogging and I keep pressing myself closer to Simon. 

# SIMON

Baz kisses are driving me mad and he’s so close but not enough. I pull him towards me — on me, not sure if he wants this. He seems to because it doesn’t take long before Baz ends up straddling me on a park bench. 

# BAZ

I couldn’t care less who’d see us now. (We’re still both fully dressed, that’s something at the very least.)

And to my utter surprise Snow seems to feel the same. He pulls me on top of him. (Pulls as in I do everything I can for that outcome to happen, of course.)

I first kiss the two moles Simon has under his left ear, (it makes him smile) before getting back to his lips. 

Chomsky only knows how but I manage _not_ to grind against him while snogging, despite Simon being so hot and my constant need to do any sexual acts he’ll allow..

# SIMON

We keep snogging and I can’t believe my luck that Baz is alright with this, the public kissing. I don’t care if people see, we aren’t naked. Couples kiss on benches all the time. (I’m pretty sure park benches are built for people to snog on, that’s what they show on television anyway.)

I envelop him with one arm around his back, making sure we’re as close as it’s humanly possible and let the other hand roam around his shoulders, face, neck… Any place that is acceptable for public touching as to not make Baz uncomfortable. (I don’t grope his sexy rump even once, which is practically a crime in itself — Baz’s elegant arse needs to be constantly cuddled with and adored.)

The lovebite I left on Baz’s neck hasn’t disappeared yet and is visible, it’s hardly covered by his shirt. I see it everytime I move his hair and kiss him around it. (I may be doing that a lot.)

# BAZ

Snow has been nibbling my neck for quite some time. It’s amazing. Eventually, I capture his lips with mine and snog him long and deep, licking in his mouth. 

I decided that it’s alright to be this desperate since Simon seems to perceive it all positively. He kisses me very enthusiastically every time and his hold on me is very tight. (Unless it’s due to him thinking that I might fall backwards and he’s just being kind to hold me this way.)

I reluctantly let go of his lips once again and lean my head on his shoulder. Apparently, we both need to breathe…

Snow might also need to stretch his legs. I’ve been sitting on them for a long time. Surely he wants some freedom...

# SIMON

I want to constantly be snogging Baz, or talking with him or just looking at him. 

”Care for taking a walk?” Baz asks.

I think it’s a good idea. 

”Yeah, sounds good.” My erection needs to settle down before I come on a park bench and embarrass myself in front of Baz. (Why isn’t my endurance getting better? Or is it?)

I really need to cool down and that means getting up from the bench because there's no chance of that happening while Baz is on my lap. (I’m not entirely sure walking will help much either, since looking at Baz comes with extreme arousal.)

# BAZ

”Do you want ice cream? Perhaps a different flavour?” I ask Snow since we dropped ours and he might regret it now. However, I’m not sure if it's wise to remind Snow of trying out _different_ _flavours_. He already told me how important it is for him to try things with different people. Although, I’m now not quite sure if I understood him accurately that time since he told me later that he’s not experienced. What exactly _has_ he done with other people and how often has that happened?

# SIMON

Is his blood sugar getting low again or is Baz just being nice?

”No, not really. But you can have some if you want,” I say and hope I’m making the right choice. What if Baz needs ice cream but won't eat it without me?

”No, that’s alright. We’ll be eating dinner rather soon.”

 _Merlin_ , I forgot about that. Even better. Baz needs real food too, not only sweets.

# BAZ

Oh, I forgot to ask Simon about his work tomorrow. Perhaps he wants to go to bed early.

Aleister _Crowley_ , is my memory faulty by any chance?

I haven’t been as considerate of him as I want to be.

”Do you need to leave?”

Snow gives me a confused look. 

”Huh?”

Crowley, I can never get to the point when I’m around him. I try again.

”Do you want for us to walk back home already in case you want to go to bed early because of work tomorrow?” I wonder if that came out weird. But at least I managed to say what I was trying to say.

Simon smiles at me so my previous sentence might not have been odd after all.

”Thank you for asking, but I’m not actually tired, ” he says and kisses me.

# SIMON

I have so much adrenaline from being around Baz, I’m not sure I _can_ sleep tonight. But it was very kind of Baz to ask. He has been very considerable all day. I just hope I’ve done a decent job of being that to him as well. I’m still not sure how to take care of Baz in the best way with his health issues...

* * *

# BAZ

It’s almost gloaming now and we’re still together. We’ve been walking around the park, holding hands and snogging before starting towards home. Not even once has Snow seemed to be bored with me. He’s looking at me and I can see desire but also something else, more _tender_ in his eyes…(Is this love induced hallucination or could it possibly be _real_?)

# SIMON

We’re holding hands and I can’t tear my eyes away from him. Baz looks so graceful when he walks _or_ sits _or_ stands. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that he’s always graceful and hot and beautiful and I _love_ him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

# BAZ

After we returned home I decided that I couldn’t wait any longer. I need to let Simon know what happened earlier when I was very close to biting him.

”Snow,” I say and feel my throat contract uncomfortably. ”About earlier-”

# SIMON

Has Baz figured out I was going to kill the bloke from the queue that looked at him? Does he hate me now? Does he think I’m too aggressive and doesn’t want to be around me anymore because of that?

”I’m sorry, Baz.” I hope he can forgive me since I didn’t actually kill that bloke — I’m improving. Shouldn’t that count for something? 

Okay, the main reason for letting that person live, was that I didn’t want Baz to know I was jealous. But still. That’s good self-control. That’s progress. 

# BAZ

Does Snow know what I’m about to say and pities me? I don’t deserve his pity. I deserve a sword through my undead heart. 

Or is he planning on leaving me now by any chance? 

”I’m a vampire, that’s who I am,” I don’t say ”what” I am despite me not being an actual person. But to state that out loud is more than I can manage...

# SIMON

Baz is making no sense. I thought we were talking about what happened earlier...

”Yes,” I say because I’ve suspected since our fifth year and Baz confirmed it himself earlier today when we sat at the foot of his bed, eating sandwiches. 

Does he think I’ve forgotten? Or is he lightheaded again and confused like before? He needs to eat more. Baz should be eating instead of having this conversation.

But he continues to speak before I get a chance to suggest starting on dinner.

”I have… urges…” 

_Oh…_ Baz is trying to tell me that he wants to bite me. 

_Fucking finally!_

However, I need to tread very lightly here, as not to make him uncomfortable by being too pushy or too enthusiastic about the biting. I don’t want Baz to think that my wanting him to bite me is the only reason I asked him on a date. I want all of him — everything, not just the biting. I love him.

# BAZ

”I know,” Snow says and smiles.

”No, you don’t, Simon. I almost bit you earlier after I accidentally got a drop of your blood, and it tasted like heavenly ambrosia combined with heroin. (I can only assume.) I’m a horrendous monster. You should leave now!” Is what I wish I could tell him. But I’m a coward so I don’t. I’m still telling him the truth…

”Those urges include you, Snow,” I hold my breath as I utter those words. I’m not using his first name during this conversation so as to not try and manipulate Simon into kissing me and taking his attention away from what I’m saying. 

This is the moment he’ll summon the Sword of Mages and run it through my heart. Or just leave and in that manner hurt me even worse, shattering my undead heart into pieces that could never be put back together…

# SIMON

”I don’t mind,” I say to Baz — and by that I mean I want him to bite me very much. I just don’t want to come on too strong, to put pressure on him.

Baz looks at me surprised.

”I’m not going to lose control,” he says. I know he'd never drain me dry. Baz doesn’t need to tell me that. 

He looks very self-conscious. I lean in closer and kiss him on his cheek and lips. I keep kissing Baz until he knows that I trust him not to kill me while taking some of my blood and then I tell him that too for good measure.

# BAZ

I’m not sure how I thought this conversation would go exactly. But not like this — Simon kissing me this passionately despite what I just told him as if he’s trying to soothe me. 

”I know, I trust you,” he says determined, still holding my hand after we break apart. 

Simon has never said that to me before, that he trusts me not to bite. My undead heart fills with happiness and joy… 

I would take a vow for never hurting him but I don’t have to. I will never break his trust. All I want is to make him happy.

”Thank you.” I will never be able to explain how much it means to me without sounding too pathetic. (I don’t want to repulse him with my love.)

Nonetheless, I need Snow to know how much I appreciate him _and_ his trust. 

”You’re incredible, Simon,” and for Crowley’s sake, how often am I going to _blush_ today? How much blood have I drunk this morning? 

It was all in a blur of despair, so I don’t actually remember…

# SIMON

Baz still looks nervous. But there’s a shy smile on his lips and a lovely blush on his cheeks. I love him so much. Still too early to say that out loud, that’d be too forward. 

Instead, I lift him up onto my lap and wrap my arms around him.

”That’s all you, Baz,” I whisper in his ear because I’m ordinary — he’s the incredible one. I kiss him then.

Eventually, Baz swings his arms around my neck, one hand going up my hair and I feel his elegant fingers in my curls. (I like it when he does that.) I hold him close to me, with one arm around his back, pulling us closer and trace his face, neck and his delicate collar bone with my fingers. He’s so beautiful...

I kiss him again and _again_ in gratitude and from sheer happiness. (Baz must really be warming up to me if he says things like that.)

As we snog my hand finds its way to his hair and I make a fist. That makes Baz moan _loudly_. So I pull again and he gasps and kisses me, more hungrily than before… 

Merlin, that’s going straight to my cock. (I was already getting hard from looking at Baz and then kissing and holding him in my arms.) 

I match his hunger with my own and deepen the kiss, letting my tongue explore his mouth. 

My other hand relocates to the small of his back and wanders lower to Baz’s perfect arse. I keep palming it and holding onto it. I want his arse so bloody much...

# BAZ

I think Simon might have implied that I’m incredible, but I can’t be sure — I was too emotional to fully comprehend everything. 

I have no idea how he can be so forgiving and accepting of me. I’m forever grateful for the gift to this universe that is Simon Snow.

His kisses have calmed me down and aroused me all at the same time. I finally feel good again. 

* * *

After we eat dinner, I suggest taking a shower before bed. (You don’t even need to ask — _Yes_ , I had ulterior motives in mind.) 

That is also why I excuse myself to the washroom _before_ taking a joined shower to take care of certain details.

Snow showed up unexpectedly on my doorstep this morning and I haven’t had an opportunity for a ”thorough cleaning”. 

Who knows what might happen in the shower between us. I need to be prepared — just in case. (Snow seems to be warming up to my arse at a rapid speed. There’s been a lot of groping.)

I created a spell myself for a school assignment last year. We were supposed to redo an existing one. I did and it’s brilliant and very powerful. It would have gotten me top marks. 

However, in the end, I decided against handing the spell in and kept it for myself — _privately_.

I modified an original text from my beloved novel — ”Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen.

I take out my wand from the sleeve and cast,

**_“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good dildo, must be in want of a clean arse.”_ **

The spell is very thorough. (It’s all about intent and having enough magic to cast it.) 

Now I’m prepared for whatever might happen — hopefully will happen.

I step out of the washroom — _nude_ , and call for Snow, ”Care to join me?”

# SIMON

”Yes, I’m coming,” I say and feel as though I might be actually very close to coming. Baz isn't wearing any clothing. 

What was he doing there exactly for him to be already naked?

I’m over next to Baz in an instance, kissing him and groping his arse.

Merlin, I want him so much and his _arse_. 

# BAZ

Simon looks beautiful in my clothes. Nonetheless, he looks even better nude. 

”May I?” I ask when I reach for the hem of his sweatshirt, (it's his now.)

”Yes,” he answers and kisses me again. 

However, this time I don’t assume that Snow changed his mind and that’s his way of saying _No._ I think he just enjoys kissing me. (At least I want to believe that is the truth and not some kind of mirage on my part.) 

That is why I carefully help Simon out of the sweatshirt over his broad shoulders and his head. I then tag off the jersey shirt as well and take in his beauty — tawny skin and all of his freckles and moles. I lean in and start kissing all his moles on his neck and chest and go lower to his stomach, dropping to my knees.

Simon’s breathing gets very uneven and I feel the scent of fresh precome. (It makes my mouth salivate.)

But I don’t have to be a vampire to know that Snow is aroused — that enormous bulge in the jeans is proof enough.

I want his cock and I’m bold enough to assume he might want my mouth around it.

When I unzip the flies, Simon’s rock hard cock springs out like a glorious waterfall — long and strong and so very _wide…_

He leans against the wall behind him and sighs loudly. 

”May I?” I ask as hover my hand over him.

” _Please..._ ,” Snow answers breathlessly. He's already very aroused, and it’s making me very happy.

# SIMON

Baz sank to his knees in front of me and he looks so hot. I could come now, but I have to try not to — that’d be too embarrassing. (I already came once in front of him without touching myself today.) 

Merlin… I really need better endurance. 

# BAZ

I take hold of Snow’s magnanimous cock and start licking around it and lick his bollocks too because I know he likes it. 

Aleister Crowley, I now know things Simon Snow likes in the boudoir. I’m familiar with his preferences because I performed sexual deeds on him _repeatedly_. Who would have thought this day could go in this fortunate manner? 

I lick the base of what can only be compared to a massive branch of a great oak tree. It has the greatest texture and best flavour as well. (I’m talking about his cock — yes, that is correct.)

I’m going up and down and rolling my tongue in different directions, making his breathing shallow and rapid… Then I let my tongue play with him for a bit longer and make him moan some more.

” _Yes…_ ” He gasps and I lick again, making sure not to miss any precome lingering on the tip. It’s delicious. 

Eventually, I start leaving open mouthed kisses on the tip.

” _Fuck…_ ” Snow gasps and makes _me_ even more aroused for him. 

After kissing for a bit longer, I curl my lips around his tip in a way I hope feels good for him.

” _Baz…_ ” I hear him and that particular encouragement is fueling me with resolve and satisfaction. 

As I let my tongue explore every angle of his swollen tip, I’m lapping up the constant flood of precome. Snow sure knows how to treat a bloke right and spoils me with his lush remedy suited only for gods...

I want to live off of it. I want Simon to feed me his precome and come every day — a three times a day meal (at the very least.) 

Will he do it I wonder? Moreover, I’m curious as to whether or not the amount will decrease through the day? (It hasn't _yet_.) 

How much will Snow be giving me? I want a generous dose of this luxuriant beverage because I’m already spoiled, just after one day.

I'm sucking the tip and then move on the rest of Simon’s cock, slowly and carefully… All I want is to go faster — I’m eager to please him, to give him any pleasure he’ll want from me...

Nevertheless, I need to acknowledge my own limitations. (I’m worried my fangs will drop if I go too fast or that I’ll gag and embarrass myself.)

Snow is pulling on my hair, I love it when he does that; as if he wants me as if I’m satisfying his wants and needs. 

I try to look both at his cock and on Simon himself. He’s so beautiful — flushed with arousal, eyes hooded, lips parted in endless moaning…

” _Oh Baz..._ ” It’s different this time when I hear Snow calling my name. This morning I thought it only meant that he remembers it’s me but now I’m inclined to believe it means that he doesn't want to let me go, at least for now. 

Snow has been acting in a way that makes me feel as though he wants _me_ _specifically_. I have no idea how long it’ll last but he is enjoying _me_. 

And that realisation makes me ecstatic and finally gets me to relax a bit. I’m less desperate, less in a hurry. I let myself experience this moment — my lips around Simon’s cock — and I savour it.

My mouth is stretching around his magnificent cock and I take him all in — impressive inch by inch. It excites me to feel Snow on the back of my throat, makes me more hungry and eager for him. 

By the time his whole beast is inside me, I’m on the brink of an orgasm myself. I want Simon to fuck my mouth. 

I’m not ready yet, but I think the wait might not be long if I get to keep him and his cock. If Snow lets me suck him off a few times a day, every day, then by my estimated calculations I should be ready in a few weeks — _tops_. Perhaps even earlier _if_ I’m lucky.

” _Yes...Baz…_ ” Simon continues to call for me.

I keep sucking his cock and relishing in his smooth finish and aroma and the feel of him in my mouth and my throat. The constant repeat of my name and panting is the best encouragement I could ever get.

By the time Snow is ready to fill me with his come, I work up quite the speed. I go faster hungry for his gratification and his come. I even try to lick his base as Snow did to me, but there’s simply far too much cock in my mouth for my tongue to be able to move freely.

However, Snow has been moaning nonstop and I hope that it means he’s happy with my performance.

When Simon erupts into my throat with a loud ” _Jesus, Baz..._ ”, the precious liquid of his come is taking over all my senses… It’s quite the adrenaline rush...

I want to flavour his come every day. I need it. He’s filling me with a very generous amount and this time I swallow slowly, enjoying every drop. When Simon comes down from his high, I use my tongue on him and make sure to devour any remaining come from his cock. When he’s all clean, I leave a few kisses and get up.

Simon pulls me in.

# SIMON

”I love- what you did,” I say.

 _Jesus fucking Christ,_ I almost told Baz I love him. I really need to learn how to keep my mouth shut. 

I kiss him while holding on to his arse and try to relax after almost confessing my love to him.

”So did I,” Baz says with a smile as we break apart and then leans in for another kiss. 

I want to kiss him forever. But I also want to wash his arse again, if he'll let me do it that is.

* * *

# BAZ

As I hoped for there’s more naked erotic snogging in the shower and Snow caressing my derrière.

# SIMON

I’m squeezing Baz’s arse a bit and look up at him, does he want more? (I want more.) 

How should I phrase it exactly? ”May I-” And I must look very nervous because Baz takes pity on me and doesn’t make me finish what I am about to ask, by whispering in my ear, ”You don’t have to ask.”

I slide my hand down to his arse again and let one finger linger on his rim. I finally get to touch it, as in truly touching it _thoroughly_ , and it’s better than I’ve imagined. I start teasing it a bit like I saw Baz do to himself when I spied on him. I’m petting his rim and it feels so right.

Baz is looking at me and his breath is catching; he likes what I’m doing and that just makes me bold. I want to lick his arse. I tell him that even though I’m extremely nervous.

”I want to lick you, is that alright?” I swear Baz almost jumps in place.

” _Snow_ ,” He says it like I’m being difficult but I think it’s because he wants me to do it... to lick him.

# BAZ

I want it. Please do it, Simon. Please lick my arse. Why do you keep asking me things that are already out there in the open?

Do it, do it _now_!

I’m not sure the shower is the most comfortable place for this. Simon has been on his knees for quite some time today — sucking my cock (repeatedly I might add.) I don’t want him to get uncomfortable or tired. 

But I’m not going to say no, am I? I need him to do it so bloody much.

# SIMON

I think Baz wants it but maybe I should ask just to be sure. I’m not very good with reading signs… Maybe he's simply uncomfortable by the question. Maybe he doesn't want to be licked at all.

I swallow, ”Do you want- May I do that, lick your- your behind?” It comes out weird. I’m embarrassed. Does Baz think I can’t speak like a normal person? Is he not going to want me anymore because of that?

# BAZ

Snow looks excited — flushed with arousal, his blush is lovely and his cock is already rock hard against memere moments after he just had an orgasm. (Is it because of me? Could it be?)

However, I think he’s extremely embarrassed now and nervous too. I have no idea why he would be. He knows that I want it, but maybe I need to spell it out for him anyway. 

First I kiss Simon, to soothe his nerves. It seems to work well on my nerves too, the kissing. I’m extremely nervous — what if he won’t like licking my arse? 

”I want you to,” I tell him and manage not to whine. That’s some top notch self control right there. Then I reluctantly let go of Simon and turn around and steady myself on the wall with both hands. 

_Crowley_ , I think my knees might be on the brink of giving up, I’m almost shaking from anticipation. That’s how eager I am for Snow’s tongue. My cock is throbbing with want. I wonder what his plans for me are.

# SIMON

I go to my knees in front of Baz and his beautiful rump and start touching it a bit. 

This is the first time I get to see it really up close — it looks extraordinary. It’s muscular but also delicate. The skin is so soft and flawless. It’s everything I dreamed about for the past week. I kiss it all around and start kneading with my hands. I have no idea why — it feels right to do so. I hear a soft moan coming from Baz so it might have been the right decision after all.

Everything is so smooth. A bit too smooth if you ask me. I wonder if Baz uses a spell on his arse too. Unless he’s using a razor, but that seems unlikely. How would he even reach and see what he’s doing?

# BAZ

The sensation of Snow’s hands and lips on my arse are getting me even harder. It feels so good — the touching. Even though I crave Simon inside me, I still relish in this as well. My body tingles from enjoyment. I want more and he gives me that.

# SIMON

I keep touching his beautiful bum and kissing it and then I lick it too — everywhere I can reach. And when I leave a gentle nibble Baz shivers — he must like it.

# BAZ

I love it when Simon _bites._ It leaves me breathless and panting. I want him biting my derrieré. I want him to do it again and again. (As previously stated I’m very disturbed.)

And then he does — a few times and my knees are getting so weak I wonder how I’m still standing upright. Oh, well, I am leaning against the wall with my whole weight so there’s the answer — I can't stand on my own two feet without help, not when Simon is doing incredible things to my behind.

# SIMON

I bite him again ever so slightly and hear Baz exhale very loud and moan ” _Oh…_ ” So I keep going, kissing and biting and touching his arse. I like doing this a lot.

Eventually, I part Baz’s cheeks and look at it — his rim. 

It’s _so_ beautiful and _so_ breathtaking. Much more up close than when I watched it through the window, even with the binoculars which I used especially for looking at his arse, cock and face. I want to make his rim pink with my mouth.

My mouth is already salivating for his arse. I kiss his rim then and it twitches against my lips. Is that Baz or is his arse just as impassioned as his cock? I love it! Are all his body parts impassioned just like he is? 

_Bloody hell._ Why can’t I make myself stop using that expression?

# BAZ

My muscles contract involuntarily; my whole body is so eager for this, for him. I just hope Snow doesn’t notice. I have goosebumps everywhere he touches me. 

I sigh constantly as Simon is caressing my behind. It feels incredible.

This is step one toward getting Snow to fuck me with his magnificent cock. Does he want to do it? Or is the licking a single deed, a chance encounter if you will, just something he’s interested in on the side of sucking my cock? (Because I now have decided to fully accept the possibility of Snow enjoying my cock.) 

Could he enjoy my behind as well? I want my arse to serve Snow in any way he deems it desirable. What does he want?

# SIMON

I press my tongue gently to his beautiful rim and when I hear him gasp I start licking it in circles. 

It tastes amazing because it’s _Baz_ and he is without a doubt the best kind of flavour in the world. The best candy there is. (I thought that I didn’t like candy; as always, I was completely wrong.) I want more. I want to enter it with my tongue. I want to make his perfect arse feel good.

” _Oh…Yes..._ ”

Baz is already gasping loud. I’m so hard again, I have no idea what to do with myself. How often am I going to be this hard? I just came.

Is it one of those situations like they say with viagra, where you need to call a doctor after 10 hours? (I’ve spent more than 10 hours with Baz today, ergo I’ve been hard for a very long time.) 

Merlin, is Baz my viagra? I really don’t want to call doctor Wellbelove. But since Agatha and I apparently broke up before the end of term, I guess it’s okay. 

Still, I really don’t want to call a doctor. It doesn’t feel as though it’s dangerous in any way, it feels right to be this hard with Baz around. 

I don’t mind staying hard like that forever. As long as I get to do something about it eventually. But Baz has been very welcoming towards my cock. 

He has been a very considerate host towards me, having almost hand fed me sandwiches and juice, especially juice for some reason and lunch and dinner too. (I wish it was more of his come, but he offered that too eventually — though I had to ask to suck his cock, to be precise.) 

But his mouth has been just as good of a host for my cock if not better. Baz is incredible and he seems to want his pretty mouth around my cock, which _is_ surprising. Merlin, I’m so lucky. (Maybe there has been sightings of fairies after all.)

I keep licking the precious flower that is his rim and it’s finally getting pink under my tongue. 

Well I know now what colour I need to choose for the next bouquet I’m to give to Baz —pink, to represent his rim and his lips and how he is what I need to satisfy my thirst for him. I know he’ll understand _exactly_ what I mean because Baz is very smart.

I flick my tongue all around his opening a few more times and start to move with more precision and probe his hole carefully with my tongue. I want it to feel good for Baz. Does it? 

He tenses a bit but then _moans_ while swearing, ” _Aleister fucking Crowley!_ ” and I feel all the tension disappear from him and it seems as if Baz is giving me more access to his arse now. 

I keep going and I think he’s enjoying this a lot because it doesn’t take long before Baz arches his back like he did when I was watching him from the tree while his behind moves closer to me.

Just to be sure I keep the same pace for a bit longer with the slightest flick of the tip of my tongue inside his beautiful arse. 

” _Simon…_ ” Baz keeps moaning and I get so excited I almost shove my whole tongue inside. (I don’t but it’s a close call, with Baz moaning _my name_ like that.)

After a while I start going a little bit deeper and hear his breath catching even though he has his back to me. 

” _Yes... Simon..._ ”

After a few more moments of careful probing and getting the most vocal encouragement from Baz, I start to explore his beautiful hole deeper.

” _Oh…_ ” He’s arching his back again and obscenities alongside my name are slipping from his pretty mouth.

” _Fucking hell… Simon…_ ”

His voice and those words — it all makes my aching cock twitch from a desperate _need_ to fuck Baz’s arse.

 _Jesus fucking Christ,_ I want to fuck him so much right now! My cock is throbbing for him, for his tight little hole, so pretty and perfect and also pink from my lips and my tongue...

I can’t do that with my cock yet. (We’ve only been on one date.)

But I can do something else — very slowly and gently I start fucking his arse with my tongue. (I hope that’s appropriate first date behaviour.)

# BAZ

” _Oh, Simon…_ ”

I’m on edge of the best enjoyment I ever encountered before because it’s _Simon_ and because he just started fucking my arse with his tongue.

I start clawing at the tiles because the pleasure spreading through me is almost unbearable and yet _not_ enough. 

# SIMON

Baz gasps and I hear his nails on the tiles. For a moment I think it’s too much that he doesn’t like it. But before I get to retract my tongue from his arse, I hear him scream, ” _More!_ ” 

Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to give him then. I want Baz to feel good. It’s all I want.

He keeps moaning, ” _Yes… Oh...yes…_ ” and I feel almost drunk on Baz’s voice and moans and his amazing arse. It doesn’t take long to get a good speed and add a bit more force to it. 

What can I say? I have a powerful tongue. I feel his muscles clench around me.

_Jesus fucking Christ!_

I’m moaning from how good it feels to be inside of him. His delicious hole keeps tightening around me, encouraging me to keep going, almost as if his arse is rooting for me. 

Baz’s arse is even better on the inside than it is on the outside. And that should be impossible since his arse is perfect on the outside. How can there be something better than perfection itself? 

I guess it’s because it’s Baz we’re talking about here. He can always best anyone, even himself. He is _that_ talented!

” _Simon… fuck…_ ”

His moans are so pretty and every time Baz arches his back or cries out my name or swears I feel like I could just come right on the spot…

I press my face as much as possible into him. His smooth skin feels great against mine. And his hole feels fantastic against my tongue.

As soon as I get as deep as I can inside his arse, I try to swirl my tongue and each time I do — Baz _gasps_ and shivers. So that's my next task to try and swirl as much as possible while getting as deep as possible.

Even though my face is pressed tightly into Baz’s arse, I still try to give myself a possibility to breathe. I need to have enough air in order to be alert for my new mission — to make Baz’s arse feel good.

# BAZ

I let my head lean against the shower wall because it’s too good… my undead heart might be beating like a Colibri. I’m assuming. (I don’t actually know much about the bird.)

This whole day I was dreaming of Snow exploring my arse, and now he’s doing it — and it’s better than anything I could ever have imagined. 

I don’t know what I expected specifically since I’ve never had my arse licked or fucked with a tongue before. Nonetheless, it’s better than any fantasies I could have had. I want to be fucked by Simon for the rest of my life.

He’s also caressing my derrière with his hands while his hardworking tongue is fucking my hole and the caressing feels so very good as well…everything feels amazing...

# SIMON

The way his pretty hole tightens around me feels so wonderful. If this is how good it feels on my tongue I can only imagine how good it would feel on my cock. I want Baz’s tight arse around my cock. 

I want to fuck him and fill him, all of him. I want to make his arse feel the way it deserves to feel — _heavenly_. 

That’s all I want for his arse and Baz himself to experience the best kind of pleasure. 

I’m not sure I have it in me to accomplish that but the way Baz moans from my tongue makes me think it’s possible.

Should I try and reach his cock from over here?

# BAZ

Simon is incredible and oh so talented with his tongue and his hands, that are still on my arse, squeezing and touching…

Crowley, he’s pounding his tongue inside me and it’s _everything_. 

In my eighteen years am I yet to experience as much pleasure as I’ve gotten from Simon today. I have no idea what his intentions towards me are — he’s keeping a tight lid on his emotions, it’s like the Queen’s treasury with the royal jewel — too much security to get close. 

Snow is guarding very carefully his wants and hopes from me. 

Regardless, today has been the happiest day of my life. And _no_ , it’s not only because his tongue is in my arse and I feel as though I might explode into the best orgasm I ever had. (Although it sure is a big plus. I’d be a liar if I tried to deny that.) 

However, it’s the proximity, to be able to look at Simon and take all his beauty in; to hold his hand, to trace his blush with my lips. 

I want him — all of him because I love Simon with my whole being. I’m not foolish enough to believe he feels the same. Still, I’m enjoying everything he’s given me and I’m grateful beyond explanation for today… His smiles, his touches, his kisses and _yes_ also his tongue deep inside my arse.

Simon Snow’s tongue is a monster in all the best possible ways. How is his tongue this good? How is his tongue this _strong_? Does Snow even have any weaknesses? 

Yes, I’m a vampire and stronger than him, I’m stronger than any human. But Simon is the closest match to me. He seems to be stronger than regular humans. 

He somehow manages to moan while his tongue is buried in my arse. 

That’s how powerful Simon Snow is. 

I have no idea why other people are obsessed with his magic. _This_ is what’s worth obsessing over so much more — his tongue and what it can do to one’s arse. And his cock of course. It’s a priceless artefact that deserves all the adoration and respect in the world.

Simon’s hand reaches my cock and everything becomes thousand times more intense… and better...

” _Yes… Simon… yes…_ ” I want him to keep fucking me with his tongue and moving his hand along my rock hard cock, squeezing and pulling as he does. And he’s paying a lot of attention to my tip. How does he manage to do that thing I like (twisting around my tip just right) without seeing what he’s doing? 

Simon is very talented, his instincts never serve him wrong that's for sure.

I think I will go up in flames now. Everything is sizzling. It almost feels _magickal_...

However, there’s no time to think too much about that. I feel the best kind of fire spreading throughout my body. Is Snow’s tongue made of fire by any chance as well as steel? I won’t mind going up in flames from this...

Is he the match that ignites my whole body? And when I say match I obviously mean _torch_ — a big sturdy torch. I’m not sure if Simon’s tongue is larger than the average person’s, I haven’t been checking other people’s tongues. But it must be so much stronger than the average. 

It’s probably the strongest there is. Precious rare object, just like his cock. 

I already started to suspect that back in the foyer, when his tongue was performing dance acrobatics inside my mouth, engaging my tongue. 

However, this — him licking my arse and fucking it with his beast of a tongue, that proves the strength of it once and for all. 

The godlike tongue along with the godlike cock. In all honesty, what _isn’t_ godlike about Simon Snow? 

Moans of pleasure are constantly erupting from me and I’m begging him to keep going.

” _Harder…_ please...” I’m needy but it’s impossible not to be. I don’t want to whine but Snow is _that_ good. He seems to be good at everything in the boudoir department. 

Besides, I think I’m too far gone for Snow — there’s no shame in me left, no dignity either for that matter.

All I can think about is how good he makes me feel and how fucking hard I am _again_ or still. (I’m constantly aroused around Snow.)

The sensation of his tongue inside my arse is heavenly… It’s paradise on earth and I’m the last person to deserve that. (I’m not even a person.) Yet I still take it — I want the eerie pleasure only Simon can give me. I want him to take me in any way he desires and continue making me scream from _ecstasy_.

Him wanking me while fucking me with his tongue is the most incredible combination of pleasure and satisfaction...

I also would want him to go over to his fingers and then my dildo and then _finally_ — the majestic beast that is Simon Snow’s cock. The most powerful and impressive sword in the world. (Sword of Mages has nothing on Snow’s cock.)

I need his cock. I will never get tired of stating the obvious. It’s a pressing issue both at the moment and in general.

 _”Simon...”_ I moan.

What he does feels so good and I’m having my first prostate orgasm with his tongue deep in my arse. I had no idea that was possible. I just hope it won’t be my last.

 _”Fuck…_ ” 

I’m gasping and I wouldn’t be able to stop it even if I wanted to. (I don’t.) My undead heart is pounding too hard and I’m in dire need to catch my breath. (That’s how good he is.)

” _Yes…_ ”

I think Simon likes when I’m this vocal because his own moans and efforts are increasing and that particular suspicion goes straight to my cock (I’m too hard) and makes me gasp more and louder despite being breathless.

” _Oh… Simon…_ ”

Simon Snow might have been born to do this — fucking my arse with his tongue. That’s raw talent combined with impressive skill.

# SIMON

Baz starts to shake and I think I may be doing something right… He's been gasping a lot for while now, so I was suspecting that already. 

It turns me on a lot, knowing that Baz is _enjoying_ himself, that we’re enjoying it together. 

I want him to feel even better. That's why I’m trying to increase the speed of my hand on his cock while holding the position of my tongue in his arse and fucking as deep as I can... 

# BAZ

Snow is incredible with his tongue and his hand. But I'm starting to get worried that if _I’m_ out of breath then so is he, if not more. 

And even though I desperately want him to continue fucking me with his remarkable tongue, I need to think about Simon.

# SIMON

Baz abruptly takes my hand in his and turns around. He pulls me up then and grinds on me, very hard, he’s so strong, and it feels great. He’s doing that while we’re snogging very passionately. 

That’s incredible. 

Then Baz whispers in my ear, ”I want to get us both off at the same time. May I do that?”

I have no idea how exactly he’s planning to do that, but I want to get off together with him a lot. After Baz mentioned that, I am not able to think about anything else.

”Yes, please do,” I exclaim because I need to feel _that_ , whatever that is.

Baz promptly takes both our cocks in his hands and starts wanking us both together at the same time.

Oh, that’s just _brilliant_.

Then he leans in and starts kissing my neck without letting go of our cocks. It feels amazing. 

I’m also thinking that'd be a good position to bite me.

# BAZ

His blood is speaking to me… calling for me... I want to sink my fangs in Simon’s neck and taste it. The bloodthirst is almost unbearable even though I’m not thirsty at all. I’ve been feeding in abundance lately.

Snow isn’t making it easier on me by constantly growling and gasping my name, ” _Baz…_ ”

He’s making me lose all resemblance of control.

But I will never bite Simon — I love him. I move over from his neck to his lips just to be on the safe side, (it’s helping) and keep working on our cocks. It feels marvellous to have his and mine next to each other, touching, with my hands around them. I need both hands since Simon is huge — a true giant and I’m above average myself. 

I stand corrected. This is the best wank of my entire life. Because it’s both our cocks _together_ and I get to taste Simon’s lips while getting us off…

# SIMON

” _Yes… Simon…_ ” Baz is gasping into my mouth and it goes straight to my cock. Not that I need any help getting harder. His hands are on both of our cocks, while they’re _touching_. (That friction feels incredible as well.) 

I like how our cocks look next to each other; they fit perfectly. (Even if he’s perfect and I’m — me.)

Baz finishes us both off while still snogging me. 

” _Christ…_ ” I groan because he’s so hot. 

” _Baz… fuck..._ ” I’m gasping and growling in his mouth. (Hope he doesn’t mind.)

I just wish Baz had bitten me since he himself brought it up earlier. Maybe I need to mention it to him. When would it be appropriate to bring the subject up?

We come together, spilling over his hands. That felt _phenomenal_. 

There’s nothing on my belly, or his, so everything must have ended up on his hands. I lift them to me and start kissing them and licking because I want to taste us both combined. 

I wanted to know if my come would taste better when it’s the both of us mixed? The answer is _yes_ , it does. (Everything's better when you add Baz to the mix.)

His eyes widen at what I’m doing, not from horror, it’s from the pleasure I think because Baz looks very satisfied and smiles. His eyes are almost glowing, never leaving me. 

I’m looking at Baz because it’s impossible to look away. He’s so beautiful, especially after an orgasm. The smile on his face is _angelic_. I think Baz is the best kind of angel, the kind that plays with fire and is fire.

# BAZ

Aleister _Crowley_. Snow is licking our come. I wouldn’t have minded doing that myself. But seeing how much he’s enjoying himself makes me forgive his indiscretion of taking all the come. 

I want him to look this eager for my come. My heart skips a beat at the sight of Simon, licking my come stained fingers and gazing in my eyes, pupils blown wide and full of pleasure. 

Both my body and my heart experience happiness and glee. 

Simon has given me complete satisfaction every time without fail. 

Watching Snow makes me feel as if it all isn’t meaningless to him, as if he wants me, wants us together.

_It gives me hope for something real._

* * *

We finish the shower and brush our teeth. I’m not nervous about skincare anymore. Snow seemed to be alright with it earlier so I repeat it all again on myself and on Simon after I ask if he wants me to. (He does.) 

When we’re back in the bedroom, I get to my wardrobe.

”Do you want to sleep in pyjamas?” I ask Snow.

He answers my question with his own, ”How are you planning on sleeping?” 

”I don’t mind either way,” I don't want to pressure him.

”I don’t _need_ pyjamas,” he finally says.

”Me neither.”

# SIMON

I’m so glad Baz wants to sleep nude. I want that — to sleep naked with him. And do other things, many things. 

We’ve already done a lot but it’s not enough. It will never be enough. 

I want him constantly. I want to do anything sexual with him, or just be with him, near him… anything...

I want to ask if he uses a spell on his skin instead of shaving but I feel a bit embarrassed. I wonder if that’s being too forward or not. 

I think Baz notices because he comes over and sits next to me on the bed and also takes my hand in his.

”Is there something on your mind?”

”Baz. Um, can I ask you a question?”

”Anything,” he says.

”Do you use a spell on… on your private parts?” I’ve probably gone completely red...

”Yes,” he says and doesn’t laugh at my embarrassment. 

I knew it! It seemed too smooth even now in the evening. I want to ask Baz if he’d use the spell on me too but not sure if it’s appropriate since we’ve only been on one date… (I can’t cast spells properly myself, my magic overdoes it most of the time.)

As if he can read my thoughts he asks, ”Simon, would you like me to use it on you?”

”Yes,” I swallow and still feel embarrassed, ”If it’s not a bother.”

”I’d be happy to,” he says and kisses me. (I feel better immediately.) 

”Would you like me to do it now or another time?” He eventually asks.

”Now, if you don’t mind,” I say because then I’ll be just as smooth as Baz in case something might happen tomorrow. 

I’m planning on sucking his cock after minigolf. But who knows, he might suck my cock too. Baz has done it today — three times. So he might do it again.

”Let’s go to the washroom.” He picks up his wand from the nightstand and tugs on my hand leading me there. I feel a bit shy over the whole situation and nervous too.

”How would you like me to do it? Which parts?” Baz asks and I think he’s also a bit nervous because he blushes a bit.

”I want what you do… on yourself,” I answer and feel too flustered over this whole thing. This right here is a different kind of intimacy. I want it, but I still feel self-conscious.

”Alright then.” I watch him swallow and point his wand at my crotch.

**_“Completely and perfectly and incandescently smooth.”_ **

I don’t flinch as I do with other people. I like how his magic feels on me. It’s the best kind of fire, the kind that settles my nerves and feels amazing on my skin after, his fire soothes me.

”Please, turn around, Simon.” I do and Baz cast the spell again. I’m assuming while pointing on my arse.

When he’s done, I do feel smooth everywhere on my private parts — my cock, bollocks, all around my arse too. 

It’s a nice feeling. And it doesn’t sting as it does after shaving. 

I don’t recognize the spell.

”Thank you.” I wonder how much magic it takes. It felt like a powerful spell. But Baz is very powerful. 

”Glad I could help.” He smiles at me and I will never get enough of his beautiful smile. I snog him for a long time.

”What kind of spell is it? I never heard of it before,” I ask when we get back to his bedroom.

”I created it myself. Well, I altered a text to be precise, from Pride and Prejudice,” Baz says and blushes. 

No wonder he always comes top of the class. Baz is the smartest person I ever met.

”You’re brilliant, Baz,” I tell him and kiss him again, deep because he looks a bit embarrassed and tense for no reason at all and I want him to be happy instead.

# BAZ

Crowley, I was worried he’d laugh at me for modifying spells. 

Simon calls me brilliant instead, and I, in all honesty, have no idea what to answer to that. I know I’m very smart academically speaking. However, I’m not used to hearing compliments, especially coming from _Snow_. 

But then he starts kissing me so passionately I forget what I was worried about in the first place.

As we sit on my bed, Snow picks his mobile up, ”Could you put an alarm on yours, please? Mine is dead.”

”Oh, sorry for keeping you away for so long. I hope you haven’t missed any important messages,” _from all your suitors_ I think but don’t say out loud…

”That’s alright, no no, you weren’t. It’s an old phone. It dies quickly.”

Well, I know what I could get for Simon tomorrow. I hardly used any of my allowances this summer. The first month of the summer break has always been the hardest for me — I never felt like doing anything really and spent my time wallowing in my own loneliness and misery, missing Snow… It usually takes a while to get used to not being around him... 

And well last week I was getting so much excitement with him watching me from the tree, I had no need to leave the house. I hunted in the morning and for the rest of the day, stayed indoors, wanking with Snow and later wanking to the memories of him. 

”I put on the alarm. What time do you need to be at work?”

”Five. I’ll need to get up at quarter over four to get there on time. I’m sorry it’s so early.”

”Not at all. I’m an early riser.” Snow gives me a disbelieving look. 

# SIMON

Baz complained about me waking him up early for seven years. I know for a fact that he isn't an early riser. He’s just being nice. (He’s always very nice to me.) 

But I don’t want to point that out since he clearly doesn’t want to bring attention to it.

”Thank you,” is what I tell him and snog him for a long time in gratitude instead.

# BAZ

How can Snow think that I’m going to let him walk all the way to the bakery tomorrow morning? I’m driving him, obviously. 

I set the alarm to half four on a very low volume for myself. (He’ll need a sturdy breakfast before work.)

Simon envelopes me in his arms and kisses me when we lay down in bed — both still _nude_. Eventually, as he’s lying on his back, I settle almost on top of him. I’m being courageous and also because Snow keeps pulling me close. 

My arm is across his chest — we’re holding hands. 

Simon’s other arm is around my back, he’s touching me, going in circles and sighing in contentment...

It all feels so good, too good to be true.

However, I manage to push all the worry about him choosing someone else over me away for the time being. Instead, I let myself feel truly _satisfied_. I want to stay in Simon's arms till the end of time…

I nuzzle my face in the crook of his neck and leave a few kisses and sigh in contentment myself. (I won’t bite him, everything is under control.)

# SIMON

Baz is warm from _my_ body, and so soft against me. 

”Goodnight,” he whispers.

”Goodnight, Baz,” I answer and kiss the top of his head. 

I can feel him smiling against my neck so I tighten my hold on him and leave another kiss. I can’t tell Baz that I love him yet, but I can do these small things instead.

Baz has been taking care of me this whole day. I never thought I'd have something like this — someone I want above anything else, someone making me happy.

I’ve also never thought much about the future, have I? It was always — kill or be killed that mattered. I don’t want that anymore. 

I want Baz for the rest of my life instead. I also want to take care of him and to make _him_ happy.

# BAZ

Simon has been treating me in the utmost loverly manner the whole day and I so very much want to let myself believe this to be real and to last past one day. 

When is the expiration date of this for him? When will he leave? I won’t think about it today...

# SIMON

There’s no greater feeling than falling asleep with Baz in my arms. It’s right and perfect just like he is.

# BAZ

I try to stay awake a little while longer after Simon falls asleep, just to enjoy the pleasure of his body against mine, his scent and his deep breathing... 

However, I’m too comfortable like this — pressed into him, the love of my life, my reason for feeling alive — sleep comes far too fast.

  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize, but this chapter is short. I had to cut what I wrote in three parts because I can’t edit longer text right now. My memory and concentration are at their lowest. This was the only solution instead of quitting altogether...

# BAZ

I wake up as my alarm goes off. For a moment, not even a split second, I think I dreamed it all up... dreamed Simon up. My heart constricts uncomfortably before I _feel_ _him_.

Because he’s here, still sound asleep. I feel his warm breath on my neck, and it sends a pleasant shiver up my spine. 

His arm is tightly pressed around my chest, holding me firmly and almost _possessively_ (unless that's my wild imagination speaking because I want him to hold me this way, like he wants me, truly wants me), one leg curled around mine. 

Snow feels solid against me, his weight on me a needed reassurance. It makes me believe that he’s _real_ , that all that happened yesterday was true, that what we have will be real for him too one day.

Simon isn’t as strong as me, no human is, he _is_ strong though. I want that, the strengths of his arms around me. I want to feel _more_ and he gives me just that. I’m not saying I prefer things to get rough because I don’t, (well I might at times, it depends on what we’re talking here about _exactly_.) 

However, more often than not I want and need the gentle touches and kisses. The kind I’ve been sharing with him, the ones that remind me of love… That’s what I crave the most… _his love_ …

Of course, I enjoyed it a lot when I wanked us both at the same time in the shower after he licked and fucked my arse with his remarkably powerful tongue. I’m simply trying to say that sex isn’t everything to me.

I want Simon’s love more. 

Well, I want both, preferably at the same time. I’d also really like to taste his blood. I’d never do that, of course. Simon trusts me not to bite. He told me so himself. 

Despite this unholy desire, I'd never do it. I will only give Simon what he wants and take what he offers freely. 

As predicted Snow can’t hear the alarm. It was for my vampiric ears only. We stayed up late, doing one incredible thing after another — sexually.

I lean into him for a moment and let myself bask in his warmth and scent, in _him_. 

We’re partially under the cover; we only need one because Simon is hot like fire in more than one sense of the word and I feel warm next to him. 

I spent years thinking that sharing a room with an open fire, the person I want the most, meant I’d burn if I ever came too close because there’s absolutely nothing that can ever come of it, no chance for him to ever want me. 

I still don’t know how permanent his ”want” for me is, it’s there nonetheless.

Simon Snow wants me (at least for now) and he lets me kiss him, and is currently sleeping while holding on to me with so much force, it'd be slightly uncomfortable if I wasn’t a vampire. As it is, the way Snow holds me feels very comfortable — it gives me hope and makes me feel safe and loved. (Even if it’s all only in my head.)

Regardless of how far-fetched the idea of him loving me is, we have been on a date, a real one at an ice cream parlour. Where he both held my hand _and_ kissed me. Surely that indicates I have a chance with him, albeit small.

Crowley, I still don’t know how many people I’m competing against and what all the rules are. Are there any?

I’m also worried that I don’t have much to offer except for my love and less than impressive blowjob skills. The latter I _can_ work on and with enough practice Simon will be fucking my mouth in no time. 

Speaking of his massive cock. It’s presently rock hard and is pressing against my derrière. 

I don’t know if Snow wants to fuck me however, his cock sure does. It’s almost if it has a mind of its own, poking against my arse with _absolute_ precision as if it knows exactly where it wants to go as if it wants to enter me right now.

_”Easy there, I’d need quite a bit of prep for someone of your magnificent size.”_

Unfortunately, it’s only the cock and not Snow himself poking. I need Snow awake and willing while fucking me. 

It’s not the time in any case. 

I so wish he didn’t have work today and could just shag me right now. Well, not right this moment, per se — he might need a sturdy breakfast first, in order to get his strength up. 

However, Snow seems able to operate on fumes, if that’s what’s needed. The probable reason for that, unfortunately, is all the summers at care homes where they starve him half to death. 

I can’t change Simon’s past. What I can do is to make sure he never needs to run on fumes again, not only due to lack of food but also because of being otherwise occupied… 

I need to be the one to think about Simon’s wellbeing and health since he seems to forget those himself for some reason. He needs regular meals.

I don’t want to get up. I want to stay in bed with Simon forever. Unfortunately, he has work to go to, (two more days of that and then I’m locking him in my bedroom.)

The lingering scent of the flowers Simon gifted me with yesterday is lovely and wonderful. Still, it has nothing compared to his aroma. I’m not even talking about his blood and magic. I’d spend a lifetime enveloped in the scent of Simon’s skin.

I loosen his hold on me against my own will and slip out of bed. I get dressed and leave for the kitchen where I make Simon bacon butties with both bacon and eggs, freshly squeezed orange juice, coffee and warm up a few scones that I stored in the freezer the day I bought two dozen. (I’m glad Vera forgave me for my shopping endeavour.) 

I use magic for everything to go faster so I’ll have some more time with Snow...

Then I staple everything on a tray and head back to my bedroom. (If things go the way I plan, it’ll be _our_ bedroom soon enough.)

I give myself a few moments to look at Simon, to take him in. His face is relaxed and content, not like he usually is back at school. I hope this means he feels comfortable here and around me...

Simon is beautiful — his hair a crush of curls on the cushion. What little light there is catches on his tawny skin.

As I climb back into bed with him, I cup his cheek and trail my fingers across it. He stirs a bit and opens one sleepy eye to look at me. I want Simon well-rested. He’ll need a nice relaxing nap after work. And then when he wakes up full of energy, I need him to shag me before minigolf. (Will he do it?)

”Good Morning,” I kiss him, surely I don’t need to ask for permission to do that. Or do all the lines reset at midnight? How am I to know that?

However, Simon is smiling against my lips and kissing me back automatically despite being still sleepy and I stop thinking. 

I haven’t brushed my teeth yet and neither has he. Not that I’m complaining. He’s absolutely perfect, morning breath and all.

When we break apart, he whispers a soft, ”Morning, Baz,” and yawns slightly.

He looks so tired. I am too. We both might need a nap this afternoon. 

I spell the lights so he can see better and present him with our breakfast by setting the tray on the bed.

# SIMON

Baz prepared breakfast and woke me up with a kiss. 

And that is so incredibly sweet but I don’t actually have time to eat, I need to leave soon otherwise I’ll be late for work.

”Baz-” I say and try to find a way to make sure he understands how much I appreciate what he’s done, just that I don’t have time for breakfast.

I’m also very tired and not really capable of having a proper conversation.

”Yes?” 

”Thank you. Everything looks so great, but- well- I’ll be late for work,” I hope he doesn’t think that I don’t care that he woke up early and made me breakfast. It must have taken a lot of time even if he used magic.

”There’s plenty of time.”

”There is?” It doesn’t feel early.

Baz places the tray in front of me and kisses me.

”I’m driving you to work.”

”Are you sure? It seems too much.”

”It’s not, ” He answers and looks serious.

He must mean it.

”Thank you.” Baz is too kind to me.

I’m not used to this, to so much kindness. I keep thinking of how I don’t deserve him. Why does he even want me? 

Sure, I’m trying to be a better person for him, I’m still not good enough for this kind of tender treatment. Baz is the warmest person I ever met. His body doesn’t retain warmth on its own, yet his heart and soul are full of it… He keeps sharing that with me. I will be forever grateful for that.

”I’m driving you every morning wherever you need,” he says and then adds, ”If you want to stay here with me.” Baz looks shy all of a sudden. 

Why should he be the one to look like this when he just offered me to stay with him for the remainder of my summer job. It’s only two days, still — that's incredible.

At first, I wonder if I might be intruding, it’s only two days though and Baz offered it himself, so surely not.

”I’d love to.” That makes him smile, I smile too. 

I want as much time as possible with him.

”I can pack your things while you’re at work if you don’t mind,” he offers while we eat.

Everything is very tasty.

I don’t know if it really is better than Cook Pritchard’s food or not, it does feel like that. It could be because Baz made it himself for us. 

Everything he touches is automatically better. I wonder if I become better when he touches me… I feel better at least.

Also, I’m not exactly sure if I should rule out the possibility of his hands and cock being laced with more magic. I mean… It’s Baz we’re talking about here. Surely if anyone's body parts are extra magickal, it’d be his. 

Oh, Merlin, body parts came out creepy again. 

I swear I’m not a serial killer. 

I mean… I’ve killed a lot — not in a bad way, I don’t think…I never made a ritual of it. 

However, I do say the incantation to summon my blade, so I guess there is some ritual to my killing...

Great snakes, does that mean that I _am_ a ritualistic serial killer? 

Will all those kills still count if I stop? Is that how it works? One kills and then stops and the slate is wiped clean?

I’d also like to say that usually, the Mage told me whom to kill. I guess I didn’t have to listen to him. How was I supposed to know that when I was young? 

Now that I think about it — the Mage hates any creature that isn’t like us. 

Wait, is the Mage a racist? (Penny has already said that he’s sexist. What else is he exactly?)

I guess I’ve killed a lot based on race. But at the same time, I’m dating Baz now, who’s both human, magician and a vampire. That’s a lot of diversity — three in one.

Surely it’ll excuse my previous behaviour? Is that what people call absolution?

”You don’t have to do that,” I really don’t want to be trouble. 

”It’ll save us time. We have minigolf today,”

Baz cocks his perfect brow at me. I wonder if maybe they aren’t like that naturally. It would only make sense since he seems to take his personal grooming seriously. 

Not that it matters in any way or takes anything away from his beauty. 

I think it’s admirable that Baz is willing to spend time and take care of his own appearance. I’ve been getting a better understanding of how much work those things take. 

Visiting the hairdresser was a real eye opener for me. I also appreciate everything Baz has been showing me; that he’s willing to put his time into me; that I matter enough for him to do it. 

And I guess when he puts it like that, it does make sense. It’s still very kind of him. Thank magic I don’t have much since I got rid of everything that I don’t need anymore. I guess it won’t take too much time for him to go through my things to choose what’s needed for two days.

”Thank you. The key is in my wallet, wherever that is,” I need to find it.

”You eat and I’ll look,” Baz says.

”We can look after breakfast — together,” I propose because he doesn’t eat enough as it is. 

”Alright,” he agrees and takes another bite of his bacon butty. Good.

# BAZ

Simon agreed to stay with me for the summer. I can’t be any happier.

We eat breakfast in bed. I actually don’t mind that at all, it’s easy to spell sheets clean. (That’s exactly what I will do later.) 

_See_ , I have an extremely flexible nature and am not by any means fixated on things and the need to keep everything clean and tidy at all times. 

In fact, I’m quite easy going…

After we eat breakfast and I put the tray away, we start looking for his wallet.

I’m the one to locate it eventually — in the washroom. I may have an idea of how it got there. I was less than observant about anything other than his cock last night. The wallet must have fallen out while his clothes came off. (I was undressing Simon before sucking his cock.)

# SIMON

I thought maybe Baz would offer me breakfast and then offer me to _be_ breakfast for him. (He hasn’t.) 

Baz sure is a true enigma about the biting. I have no idea what he’s thinking. Just yesterday evening he told me how he wanted to bite me. Has he changed his mind about this already?

We end up in bed after Baz finds my wallet. I need to kiss him again. I need to be constantly kissing him and doing other things too...

# BAZ

Snow kisses me behind my ear and I close my eyes because it feels good. So _good._

I’m next to him, kissing him and moving my hand down to his cock. Simon slept _nude_. We both did. (I’m dressed now since I had to go downstairs to make breakfast.)

He’s extremely hard already, I’m privy to that information on account of my arse being pressed tightly into his cock when I woke up. 

I might have pressed back too. How could I resist pressing my bottom into Simon’s incredible cock? It’s what I want, for his cock to enter me and show me stars. What can I say I’m a true romantic. I want Snow to fuck my brains out until I see stars.

As I’m finally getting down to the treasure that is Simon Snow’s cock — true hidden riches that he kept concealed from me for years. 

If that’s not true cruelty, I don’t know what is. However, he did show me his cock eventually, so I can forgive him this indiscretion.

I might be considered a pirate, plundering what's not mine, yet Simon doesn’t seem to complain. Maybe I will get lucky and he will become _mine_ someday.

”Is it alright?” I whisper in his mouth. 

” _Yes_ ,” he’s moaning firmly, finding my lips again. My whispers through snogging are decipherable to a human, unlike Snow’s which are pretty incoherent. Of course, I don’t mind… I’m a vampire. 

Besides it makes me wonder if Snow is really that interested in snogging me that he doesn’t want to let go of my lips for too long. Is that what’s called foolish self-indulgent thoughts? I don’t care. That’s what I choose to believe.

I want to believe that. I would probably go insane if I don’t.

Simon is so hard under my hand. I want to suck his glorious beast instead. It’s too risky. I haven’t fed today yet and I’m terrified something bad could occur. I still want him to come in my mouth.

His precome is overtaking all my senses. I want to lick it, to lick _him_. Rather than doing that, I lick my palm and use my saliva together with his precome and spread all around his cock (I’d prefer not to use lube right now since I’m planning on swallowing if Simon lets me do that.) It’s not ideal, however Simon is leaking precome in abundance so it’ll be alright. 

Then I settle for stroking him while snogging. It feels incredible and unbelievable to be allowed to do that — to touch him and to kiss him. (I need to keep Simon forever.)

# SIMON

Oh, Merlin, Baz is pulling on my cock with his elegant fingers and it feels so good. I wish I could stay here with him forever. I still have two more days left at the bakery. The owner usually rents the spare room out to summer guests, I was lucky it became available when I started working there. 

Apparently, the British countryside is popular with city folks, as she puts it. The owner likes me so she said I could stay for cheap if I wanted to, even if I’m not working at the bakery anymore. (The regular employé is coming back from vacation.) 

Then I’d get to stay close to Baz and I’ll have more time to spend with him. If that’s what he wants. I hope that’s what he wants.

# BAZ

I move my hand up and down the lengths of the beautiful beast that I got to enjoy and to tame with my hands and my mouth half the day and night yesterday. 

And for Crowley’s sake, hopefully very soon my _arse_ as well. I need that. I need his wild stallion. 

Is my arse steady enough to handle Snow’s cock? Will he deem it satisfactory? What does he want? 

Snow is moaning and gasping softly in my mouth. Some small broken noises are escaping his lips now and I capture them all with my lips — savour them, savour _him._

I won’t ever take him for granted. I’m not capable of that. He is the biggest most far fetched dream my heart and brain ever cooked up — _together._ He’s all I need and want.

Simon is breathing heavily, his kisses are getting sloppy, he’s close. I can almost hear his blood, pumping, working overtime to compensate for everything that goes into his incredible cock. (That is a true giant that requires a lot of blood.) 

”Will you come in my mouth?” I ask and feel self-conscious for my boldness. Regardless of that, shouldn’t I get a little treat now that he’ll be working all day, robbing me of his presence? (It’s only fair.)

Will Snow think I’m pathetic with my neediness for his cock and his come or will he see the neediness as endearing? 

The only reason I can call this option other than simply pathetic is that Simon seemed to have reacted positively to all my neediness thus far and I can’t help but wonder if that could possibly be the reason for it, that he finds it _endearing_. 

Unless it’s my brain that is making me think this while in reality Snow is repulsed and wants nothing to do with me. 

But then why is he here? Why did he spend the night? 

”Baz... I _\- Yes..._ ”

# SIMON

I almost told Baz that I love him again because apparently, I can’t keep my mouth shut even for a second especially when he’s talking about his mouth and my cock and come. I still haven't gotten over the fact that Baz wants his lips around my cock. 

If Baz wants me to come in his mouth, he doesn’t have to ask. I want that very much. I want his pretty mouth around my cock and filling him with my come.

His lips are smooth and soothing yet almost electric, they make everything feel so much better. I wonder if his lips are extra magickal? 

Now that I think about it — it does make sense.

I want to fill him with my come. I want him to fill me with his come too. I also want to fill him with my blood. 

There’s a lot I want. I’m not sure it’s honourable to want so much from him. I don’t expect it from him, I just want it. And I’m okay with not getting any of it at all. As long as I get to stay with Baz — I’m more than happy, more than satisfied. 

I don’t _need_ anything else, just him.

# BAZ

I crawl down while still holding on to his magnificent cock, (I’m not letting it out of my hand or my sight, I don’t want it to run away from me) and get between his legs. 

Then I let my lips curl around the tip of Simon’s cock, and dare to go a bit further. I don’t want to lose the grip on his cock while he’ll be pumping his orgasm into me in powerful waves and let his come go to waste. 

I’m still stroking him, faster now and try to lick around the tip as much as possible without my fangs dropping, (it seems they are perfectly under control.) I dare to slide my lips more around him.

It doesn’t seem as if there’s any risk with my fangs. Nonetheless, I’m not taking any chances with Simon’s cock — it’d be sacrilegious. 

There I go and turn to spirituality again. Seems Simon’s grand cock has turned me into a _true_ _believer_.

When Simon comes, he fills me with the liquid fitted for gods and not mere mortals. I swallow slowly instead of just gulping it all down, I need to enjoy his come properly, the rich aroma and the incredibly alluring smoky flavour. 

I’m still worried it’d be the last time. I want to remember this moment forever — Simon’s warm come filling my mouth, spreading around my throat and going down, filling me, warming me. 

The precious gift that is Simon’s come is making me feel whole. And that’s just my mouth. I can’t help but wonder how it would feel when Simon fills my arse with his cock and his come.

* * *

”Baz… may I?”

” _Yes…_ ” I answer without sounding too needy. (I hope.) This is the fourth time Snow gives me a blow job. Yes, of course, I’m keeping count. How can I not? It could very well be my last time.

By the time he’s done (it did not take long, I was ready to explode almost from the moment he took me in his mouth) my mind is pleasantly relaxed and everything is quiet in my head. 

Simon is a true delight.

# SIMON

I may not have a fancy palate but I sure appreciate Baz’s cock and his come to the fullest. 

Today Baz spells some clothing for me to wear. (I’m glad he’s feeling more comfortable around me and is using more magic.)

# BAZ

I couldn't give Snow another football jersey, that’s too suspicious. Instead, I spell a pair of snug black jeans a tad bigger so it is more comfortable to work in and a blue t-shirt I wear under my pyjamas. It’s my favourite and very soft. 

When I offered a pair of new pants and socks to Snow, he accepted both. Yes, I would have preferred him without pants but he’s going to work. Perhaps after our afternoon nap, he’ll be skipping them. 

I drive Simon to work and follow him to the back door (Not that one, unfortunately.) 

Despite a very eventful morning, we are on time, even have a few minutes to spare. (I’m nothing if not punctual.)

"The key to your room?" I ask in case he has forgotten. 

”I just need to get my charger, will you come up with me to my room?”

”Gladly.” It will give me the possibility to calculate how big of luggage we’re talking about here.

However, I’m worried that I will smell other people in his room, people that slept over. Yet I didn't sense anyone other than him. Perhaps, Snow has been cleaning thoroughly with stronger chemicals or meets people at their places. (I need to stop obsessing about this.)

When we step outside, Simon gives me the key and kisses me.

”Don’t forget your wallet,” I say and hand it over. I know he doesn’t need it while at work still, I don’t feel comfortable keeping it. What if he’ll think that I would go through it looking for possible clues about his suitors? Is the wallet where one keeps that information?

I wouldn’t do that, only because that is a violation of his privacy not because I don’t want to.

”Oh, thank you.” His smile is so bright, it shines all the way to my undead heart and the deepest corners of my mind. It makes me feel alive.

”I will come over after I’ve... hunted…” I hate to bring up my vampirism too much. Though Simon did say that he trusted me not to bite, so perhaps he is accepting me for who I am without prejudice.

He kisses me again and even more passionately. 

”I will send you a message when I’m close by,” I say.

”See you soon then.” Simon gifts me with another smile and I kiss him myself this time.

Before leaving, I put a few apples in a tin and a glass bottle of freshly squeezed orange juice on the counter for Simon — with a note, so he’d know it was for him.

You might think I’ve been giving him too much juice in the last 24 hours. However, I haven’t added any artificial sugar to it so it's not unhealthy. 

A little fruit sugar never hurt anyone. Simon doesn’t have any conditions, I would have smelled it on him.

Therefore, despite your judgy attitude, I indeed prepared a healthy enough snack and beverage for him.

I’ve written the note while Simon was at the washroom. 

Truth be told, I had no idea what would be most suitable and appropriate to write. 

The full name might be too formal since we’re already been on one date and Simon has fucked my arse with his tongue (amongst other wonderful erotic things we’ve done together.) 

That is why I assume we have achieved some level of familiarity. (I am extremely familiar with the feeling of his majestic cock inside my mouth and in my hands, not my arse yet though. Clearly, there is a need for an increase in familiarity still.)

Initially, I was thinking of writing ’Snow’. However, I know he likes it when I call him by his first name. (He kisses me deeply when I do.) ’Dear Simon’ seemed too needy. Eventually, I went with ’Simon’ — simple yet elegant.

Signing the note was even more problematic. I wasn’t going to be using my full name either, because of that sex and dating familiarity I mentioned earlier.

However, what to write _before_ my name gave me quite a headache.

’Kisses’ and ’hugs’ and ’love’ were all out of the question — that’d be too obvious, how much I love him.

Best regards seemed a bit unnecessarily since we’d be only apart for a few hours. I ended up going with ’sincerely’ — it’s not too much yet there’s some feeling to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you follow me on Tumblr and wonder where the ”male Wellbelove” scene disappeared — it will be present in chapter 25.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m formatting text messages. If anyone for some reason has difficulties reading them — let me know. (I think I could change them into images instead.)

# SIMON

Baz has only been gone half an hour, and I already feel like I need to know where he is at every moment. It’s the fifth year all over again. (The only difference is that I know why — because I love him and I want him to be with me, always.)

I write him a message.

Baz  
  
Hey Baz. Thank you for breakfast. It was amazing.   
  


Baz will understand of course, that he's amazing taking care of me the way he does. He knows that’s what I mean. I just need to be careful not to overwhelm him with all the compliments. He might think I’m pushy and expect things from him.

As I mention breakfast to him I start wondering if I somehow wasn’t clear about the biting — that I want him to do it? Should I order another flower arrangement for Baz to hint a bit more _aggressively_ on the biting?

I thought a bouquet called ”Twilight” could not be more clear. 

But now I wonder if Baz has seen the movie. Is it possible that he doesn’t watch movies about vampires? I think Twilight has a book too… Probably not as good as the movie, though, because how many fighting scenes can they put in a book? And that decapitating scene was really excellent. 

Unfortunately, none of the characters had the Sword of Mages, so they had to use their hands and teeth instead.

Good stories have lots of fighting in them, and preferably a few decapitations. That’s common knowledge.

Well, I guess I need to order something more obvious, in case Baz did not watch the movie or read the book.

I also need to get him flowers that will make him understand how much I like to make his lips and rim pink with _my tongue_ …

I need to visit the florist during my break. (It’s on the same street; I have time.) 

Maybe I should call her first and see about the bouquets. I tell her what I want, not about the vampire thing or about Baz’s rim (might be inappropriate). 

I just mention the colours I want — red (hint to biting) and pink (hint to lips and rim) blossoms, perhaps a few wildflowers and something to represent thirst. 

That makes the most sense and Baz will finally understand everything I’m trying to say.

Who knew I’d be this smart and inventive?

I also want to text Penny. But she’s in America with her dad, visiting Micah. Maybe her phone doesn't work there...

# BAZ

I got a message from Simon.

My Simon  
  
**Today** 05:35  
Hey Baz. Thank you for breakfast. It was amazing. 

I’m glad Simon enjoyed the breakfast so much. I can’t help but wonder if he’s texting me now because he’s thinking about me or is he trying to say that he wants breakfast tomorrow as well? (Of course, he’s getting breakfast in bed tomorrow, Simon needs food before work.)

My Simon  
  
I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it. What can I say, I’m good with my hands, amongst other things.   
  


As soon as I press send I start to worry that it was too much. Will Snow think that I’m expecting him to let me play with his cock by using my hands and my mouth all the time. 

Crowley, what if he thinks that’s a requirement for staying with me. (Snow’s paranoia knows no borders.)

# SIMON

Baz  
  
I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it. What can I say, I’m good with my hands, amongst other things.   
  


Does it mean Baz possibly wants my cock again? He's incredible. I also want _his_ cock. I hope there will be more time for that now that I’m spending the night again. I’m sure I won't waste time sleeping. I want to get the most of the night. 

Will Baz want me to lick his arse again? I want to pamper it with kisses too. And fuck it with my tongue if Baz lets me.

Will he? Or possibly more than that? Will Baz want me to use my fingers on his delicate behind and make him moan louder than he has yesterday when I was fucking him with my tongue? 

Maybe he’d let me help him with his dildo. Surely it’d be easier for him, not needing to strain himself and keeping his arm at an odd angle. He can just lay down and enjoy himself while I take care of his pretty arse. I’ll take very good care of it.

It’s my life’s most important mission — to make Baz and his perky arse feel good. 

I did like both to fall asleep and wake up next to Baz though… I might want too much…

Baz  
  
Yes you are, very good, really good, so so so good...   
  


# BAZ

My Simon  
  
Yes you are, very good, really good, so so so good... 

Oh, does this message indicate that Snow thought I was only referring to food or is it possible that he himself might be implying other things — things of the sexual variety? 

How am I supposed to know?

My Simon  
  
Thank you.   
  


I hope that was an appropriate response.

* * *

When I’m back from hunting Father asks me to join him for breakfast, ”Basilton.”

I scold my face into an utterly neutral expression. ”Father.”

”What are your intentions in regards to Simon Snow?”

”I’m going to ask for his hand in marriage at an opportune time,” I tell my father, holding his gaze. 

There’s no reason to beat around the bush. This is the end game for me with dating Simon. And I need to make it clear that he’s here to stay. 

If he’d be alright with staying, of course, I’m not going to lock Snow in my bedroom, kidnapping isn’t very sexy, unfortunately. 

Nevertheless, Simon seems eager to stay for the summer at the very least. 

Father almost choked on his coffee. He did manage to compose himself in time to answer, ”Does he know about your… condition?” 

My father never calls it for what it is — I’m a vampire.

”Yes, he does.”

There's a brief pause while he’s thinking. What exactly I couldn't tell. 

”Very well. You can have your mother Nathasha’s wedding band if you wish.” That is perhaps the last thing I expected him to say.

”Thank you, Father.” Nobody tells anyone anything in my family. You just know. You learn to know. Without telling me that specifically, it’s his way of approving of this — Simon and me, together. 

Simon being a bloke is the biggest issue here for my father. At this rate, I think Father may have even forgotten that Simon is the Mage’s heir. 

I need to extract him and Fiona from this War. There’s no time for that. We have a wedding to plan. Or so I dare to hope.

”You will need to spell it bigger of course and it might be prudent to merge it with a different band, make it wider for the right aesthetics,” he annonces.

That’s Father’s not so subtle way of saying Simon has the hand of a bloke, with Simon being a bloke. Who would have thought my dad to be an expert on wedding bands? This is his way of showing his support.

Mother’s wedding band is beautiful — rose gold that will look heavenly on Simon’s tawny skin. It could be merged with a white gold band if we want matching wedding bands since I myself won’t be able to pull off rose gold alone with my complexion being what it is.

”Yes, thank you, Father, it will be wise to do so.”

”I will give you a jeweller’s contact information. He’s one of us and I’m sure is capable of flawlessly merging the bands with magic.”

”Thank you, I appreciate that,” I say, meaning of course that I appreciate him for accepting who I am, accepting my choice of love (not that Simon was a choice I made myself, since the universe made that choice for me, and for once I think it’s a blessing, not a curse. I think Simon wants me a little already). I appreciate and am grateful to my father for _everything_. I don’t know how to put it all in words. We never had that kind of relationship in my family. 

We don’t say things out loud. Still, I know my dad loves me and his support in _this_ is the biggest proof that he could ever have given me.

”I want Simon to stay for the summer,” I attempt and _not_ state it as a question, not sure I succeed.

”Well, of course, he should, all things considered.” 

”Yes, that was my thought exactly.” I do my best not to exhale in relief. If my dad refused, I would have gone to Fiona with Simon after his last day of work. However, I’m glad I don’t have to — Fiona lacks filter when she speaks. (Who know what she might have said.)

Father then gets up and claps me on my shoulder.

”Now, Basilton, if you don’t mind and there is nothing else, I need to drive up to work soon.”

”Not at all. I’ll be leaving shortly myself.”

”Will you and Simon be attending dinner tonight or going on another date?” He asks.

”We’re going on a date, to play a set of minigolf.” I explain.

”Minigolf? Is that considered a sport?” My father looks contemplative. 

He never raises his eyebrow. I’m not sure he knows how. I might have inherited that particular gift from my mother.

”I’m not quite sure, I suppose it is,” I confess my lack of knowledge on the matter.

”Well if Simon is interested in sports, perhaps you two could play tennis at the club next time,” he offers.

”Yes, what a great idea. I will ask Simon.” I think it’s safe to bring Simon to the club since he told me that he’s gay and in fact has no interest in Wellbelove. (She will surely be there since she frequencies the club more often than I do.)

”Are you planning on eating out or shall Vera save something for the two of you?”

”Vera should save us some dinner,” I say because even though I’m planning on eating out, I know how hungry Simon is. Or he _will_ be after fucking me, (that’s what I’m hoping will happen.)

I don’t tell my father that. 

”Very well, I let Vera know.”

* * *

While shopping I get a message from my aunt. 

Fiona  
  
**Today** 10:03  
Congratulations. (Heart With Ribbon )(Party Popper )(Cherry Blossom )(Champagne glasses )(Bottle With Popping Cork )   
I’m going to carry for you.   
Excuse me?   
Malcolm told me the good news. I’ll carry your children, for you and Simon Snow so you can have a family.(Balloon )(Champagne glasses )   
  


Why am I not surprises? My father can’t be trusted with a secret.

That is one of the reasons I told my aunt first that I was going on a date with Simon yesterday. 

Fiona  
  
I’m not sure what to answer to that.  
There aren’t magickal facilities for this kind of thing, Basil.   
I will stop smoking and drinking if that’s what you’re worried about.(Cigarette )(Whiskey)(Wine Glass )(Cocktail Glass )(Beer Mug )(Tropical Drink )   
The sacrifices one makes for the family. 

* * *

  
  


My aunt seems to be on a rant. This might take a while...

Fiona  
  
I’m still drinking coffee. (Hot Beverage )   
You don’t want to see me when I’m off caffeine. (Smiling Face With Horns )   
Don’t fuss, I will cast a protective spell, so it won’t harm the baby. (Sign Of The Horns )   
  


It wasn’t what I was worried about. 

Fiona  
  
What I mean is that it’s a bit premature. I haven’t shared my plans with Simon. We aren’t there yet.   
  


I don’t even know if we ever get there. If he gives me time and lets me try and win him over.

Fiona  
  
I’m not getting any younger, Basil. So if the two of you are planning to have a litter of pups, you might want to hurry up. (Blue Heart )(Ring )(Blue Heart )   
  


It means a lot that my aunt offered. That’s not a small deed. And on some level, it fuels me with more hope. If I’m lucky Simon will one day feel the same way and want to be with me, start a family with me. 

If for some reason Simon will choose me, without Fiona’s help we won’t have an option for having children. And it’s not just that both of us are blokes. I can’t father any children due to me being a vampire. 

Fiona  
  
Thank you. (Blue Heart )   
**Read** 10:29

I try hard not to let anything my father and Fiona told me to get my hopes up, but it’s a struggle. I’m giddy with the hopes and dreams of a future… _our future_ …

# SIMON

I found apples and juice. I knew they were from Baz even before I’ve seen the note.

No one else was here for one. And everything was so neatly arranged — only Baz is capable of that because he’s perfect.

He’s so kind to think about me. And the note is lovely. I’d recognize his beautiful handwriting anywhere. 

I put it in the back pocket of my jeans (Baz’s jeans) for safekeeping. They aren’t as snug as the ones I had on me yesterday. 

I think Baz did that for me, so I’ll be more comfortable and he gave me a very soft t-shirt, that is not too warm. It’s blue. 

I like it that Baz has so much blue. I’m hoping it's a point in my favour for him to have so many things that might remind him of me. (Hopefully. Maybe he doesn’t realize it himself.)

I’m still not sure why he’s giving me so much juice if he isn’t biting me though… 

I text him a thank you and make sure he knows I liked the juice. (In case there is a hidden meaning behind it.)

Baz  
  
Just found the apples, juice and your note. Thank you. You’re incredible.   
The juice is very tasty.   
  


# BAZ

Simon texted me again.

My Simon  
  
Just found the apples, juice and your note. Thank you. You’re incredible.   
The juice is very tasty. 

Aleister _Crowley_. Yesterday I thought that perhaps he called me incredible, yet couldn't be sure. This time I have written proof of him calling me that.

Still, it’s hard to tell what exactly that is supposed to convey. Perhaps Snow thinks that I’m good at pressing juice...

My Simon  
  
My juice is always fresh and tasty.   
  


Oh, no. What have I done? What will Snow think of me now? Will he think I’m disturbed? 

I am. However, I wasn’t implying anything sexual with this text message. It happened to come out that way. 

# SIMON

Baz  
  
My juice is always fresh and tasty.  
  


Baz is really good at flirting through text messages and now all I can think about is sucking his cock. 

Without even thinking it over I reply.

Baz  
  
Can’t wait to taste more of your juice.  
  


Was that too much?

# BAZ

My Simon  
  
Can’t wait to taste more of your juice. 

What’s this? Does it mean that Snow wasn’t offended earlier? Or perhaps he hasn’t misunderstood the context and indeed is now speaking of the orange juice.

That must be it.

My Simon  
  
I’ll make sure to give you some when I pick you up from work.   
  


# SIMON

Baz  
  
I’ll make sure to give you some when I pick you up for work.   
  


Seems it wasn’t too much. Is Baz now offering me to suck his cock at the bakery? 

Jesus fucking Christ, I’m the luckiest bloke alive. We could do it up in my room. Maybe I could lick his arse again. I need to do it. I've been thinking about how great it was to lick his sexy behind and also fuck it with my tongue — it’s a dream come true. I want and need to do it again.

Anything Baz would let me do to his arse, I want it — anything at all.

Baz  
  
It’s all I’ll be able to think about until I get to taste it.   
  


I hope it wasn’t too pushy… But he started flirting himself, or is this what’s called sexting? 

I have no idea, I haven’t been in a relationship before. 

Oh, yeah, Agatha... 

Anyhow, I am in a relationship now and I want to do more of this possible sexting.

If I had a better camera I’d take a picture and send it… Or maybe that’d be inappropriate… 

Baz is talking about letting me suck his cock though, so how much is _too much_ really?

I think I need to get myself a new phone just in case nude pictures are on the table. Tomorrow on my lunch break maybe. I have things to do today as it is.

# BAZ

My Simon  
  
It’s all I’ll be able to think about until I get to taste it. 

Wait… Is Snow hinting at something else or is he saying that he’s already done with the orange juice and wants more? 

He has been obsessed with food all through school (because of starving each summer), so it stands to reason he’d be excited in anticipation of juice.

I’m in such a great mood now that I know how much Simon liked the beverage I prepared for him that I’m even courageous enough to use an emoji.

My Simon  
  
You won’t be disappointed. (Winking Face )   
  


I have to press more juice as soon as I’m home. I will prepare both orange and apple juice for some variety in order to satisfy Simon.

By the time I’m through, he'll have all but forgotten what starvation is.

# SIMON

I had a flood of customers and couldn’t check my phone for a while. When I finally have some time — there’s a new message from Baz.

Baz  
  
You won’t be disappointed. (Winking Face )   
  


Baz is so hot when he writes things like that — I'm already rock hard just from re-reading all our texts… Thinking about his cock and sucking it, licking too, and his arse. 

He used an emoji this time. He didn’t the day before yesterday. I thought maybe he wasn’t comfortable with emojis for some reason. 

Possibly he just needs to warm up to a person before he uses them. Does it mean he’s warmed up to me? He’s sexting me so probably yes...

Eventually, I’m too turned on to overthink my next message. 

Baz  
  
I know I won’t. (Aubergine ≊ Eggplant) (Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)   
  


Merlin, I hope it wasn’t too weird. I was going for cute sexy...

# BAZ

It doesn’t take too long to be done with all the shopping since I’m fairly efficient. And well, this time I don’t have Snow with me and am not trying to stall and buy me some more precious moments with him.

I found a beautiful porcelain figurine with a little girl for Vera. (She recently had her third grandchild.) 

After I step by my hairdresser and purchase Repair-Me wash and rinse and Re.store treatment at the recommendation of the hairdresser, (Simon’s curls are damaged and my products can’t help him much.)

I also get Killer Curls for Snow. (His hair is much curlier and thicker than mine and it will suit his needs better than my styling product, according to the hairdresser.)

I also go to the pharmacy and get edible lube for us — cherry flavoured. In case he might taste it when doing something to me if he would want to do anything to me again. That has never been confirmed. I also need to be able to take Simon in my mouth even after using lube. (If there will be a next time that is.)

While at it, I also buy an extra bottle of my regular lube so we won’t run out of it. It’s better if we are planning to do something with anyone’s arse involved — it’s silicone based with jojoba extracts. One would not want to put it in one’s mouth — I think it’s a valid guess that the taste of silicon and oil isn’t pleasant, however — one would want to put it in one's arse. (It makes things go much smoother than other kind of lube.)

And then I see a bottle of massage oil that had a cooling effect. Surely that is what Simon would enjoy? I purchase it too.

I feel a message in my jeans. (My mobile is in my back pocket.) I wasn’t worried about him not answering me right away since I know Simon is at work and busy.

My Simon  
  
I know I won’t. (Aubergine ≊ Eggplant) (Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)

Crowley, does he want aubergine juice? I had no idea that’s what people drink. Perhaps in the Normal world. (Simon must know more than me since he lived there for so long.)

It doesn’t sound too appetizing. However, since I never tried I should not judge beforehand. 

I’m not sure we have aubergine at home. Perhaps I could check a store after visiting Simon and packing his clothing.

My Simon  
  
Simon, I will be shortly at the bakery. (Upside-Down Face )  
  


Is an upside down emoji face fun or too nerdy? I’m hoping it’s fun.

My Simon  
  
See you soon. (Kissing Face With Closed Eyes )

He sent me a virtual kiss. Does he realise what he’s doing to me with this flirty behaviour? 

Snow is giving me hope… 

It will shatter my heart completely the day he takes it all away.

I’m starting to believe in certain possibilities, no matter how unlike they seem.

I’m starting to cautiously hope for our future together…

Which indicates only one thing — I’m being extremely reckless.

And in the spirit of this reckless behaviour, I send a virtual kiss of my own.

My Simon  
  
(Kissing Face With Closed Eyes )

I just hope Snow won’t think me too needy for his attention.

As I arrive, I decide to walk inside the front entrance first and let him know I’m here.

I wave as I enter and he smiles at me. 

The bakery is filled with people. I can’t disturb his work so I get behind the counter, into the back and walk the stairs up to his room. 

There isn’t much space in the boot, fortunately, there isn’t much to pack. I fill both smaller trolleys with mostly all the things I found for Simon during our shopping trip. (He bought everything I suggested he could get, he must trust my taste a lot.) 

There aren’t any trackies left. Does it mean he isn’t planning on wearing any? There are no pyjamas either. I wonder if this means Simon sleeps in his pants or perhaps even nude every night like he did last night. (I’m hoping for the latter.) 

As I gather Simon’s toiletry I notice that he already has all the hair products I bought for him. How did he know what to use? Has someone taught him that? Who was it and why did he listen to that person when he never listens to anyone? Is it someone _that_ special to him? Is Snow going to leave me for that person?

Or, I guess, it could have been the hairdresser that recommended the products since Simon cut his hair after I stalked him the day before yesterday at the shopping centre; or as I like to call it — had our unofficial impromptu date.

Perhaps the hairdresser makes more sense. Nevertheless, I’m not ruling out that I have a secret rival (with some kind of power of persuasion), to compete against for Simon’s heart.

Simon has a bottle of lube with citrus flavour. 

That’s odd, I never thought he’d enjoy that. He constantly complained about my shower gel at school. Although he didn’t mind using it yesterday. Perhaps Snow’s preferences have changed. 

There’s also a pair of high grade binoculars. I think these are the ones Snow used to spy on me. It must mean he’s interested in me at least a little, for him to spend so much money?

The only reason I know anything about binoculars with my eyesight being better than any human is because Vera tried to get me interested in ornithology. (There’s quite a bit of wood that stretches after the gardens.)

And it was fun up until I started draining birds. It’s less enjoyable to watch them when you know you’ll just end up eating them later.

I put everything in the car and go back to the bakery. As I open the back door and enter behind Simon, he turns and looks at me surprised.

“Forget that I’m here?” I ask.

”Never,” he says and smiles, there’s so much fire in that one simple word. He’s kissing me before I make a decision to kiss him. I was going to — kiss him that is, I was just trying to determine if he’d want me to.

I don’t want to leave. I want to keep Simon company all day. However, I need to before he’s repulsed by my desperation for him.

There’s an older couple buying something. (Not a threat.) And then a bloke our age that comes in and his smile is a tad too friendly. 

The bloke is everything I’m not — tanned and blond. He’s a male version of Wellbelove. (I’m assuming that _is_ Snow’s type.)

Crowley, he’s looking at Simon. Of course, he is — Simon is beautiful.

”Why don’t you go first?” He offers to me because he wants to end up alone with Simon.

No chance in hell I’m letting that happen.

# SIMON

That bloke is talking to Baz. It can only mean one thing — he wants to steal him from me. 

He has to die! Is there a way to do it I wonder — kill him without Baz noticing? (I can’t let him know that I’m jealous, it’s too early. We’ve only been on one date.) 

Maybe I could distract him somehow… 

I wonder if I can manage to summon the Sword of Mages while sucking Baz’s cock. Is it possible?

And is there a chance Baz will be so preoccupied with his cock in my mouth that he won’t notice me chopping that bloke’s head off? 

I've gotten pretty good at multitasking. Yesterday I managed to lick and fuck Baz’s arse with my tongue, while getting him off. So maybe I could do this too...

# BAZ

”I’m in no hurry. You go first, I insist,” I tell him in the utmost polite manner I can while letting my eyes get ice-cold so the male Wellbelove doesn’t think there’s a chance for him to continue this conversation and try to convince me to leave Simon alone with him.

Oh, the bastard is practically scowling at me now. 

There should be lines between a customer and a baker that can’t be crossed, should there? This is simply unacceptable behaviour.

# SIMON. 

I just realized that I probably shouldn’t kill him here at the bakery because he’s a customer and I really like the owner — she’s a kind lady. I can’t wait for this job to be over so I can go around and kill or at least punch people who have the audacity to look at Baz.

Who’d have thought that having a summer job would be this inconvenient?

# BAZ

The male Wellbelove almost leans over the counter. 

”I got blueberry scones from you last week, they were tasty. Are you responsible for baking the most delicious scones I ever ate?” 

He’s shamelessly flirting with Simon. That’s a tad inappropriate to do so at someone's place of work, isn’t it? 

Yes, yes, I’m well aware that I came over here a few days ago to flirt with Simon myself (and failed miserably.) This individual seems to know all the right words and is also capable of stating them out loud. 

Is Snow falling for the flirting act? Has this bloke managed to entrance him with his looks? 

Will Simon leave me for male Wellbelove? 

Would it help if I dropped to my knees this instance? (You _are_ correct, it’s not begging I’m thinking of performing while on my knees.)

# SIMON

After he both looked and talked to Baz, I practically saw red. I’d be out for blood if he wasn’t a customer. No one should be allowed to look at Baz. 

I need to answer him since he’s a customer and I can’t be rude. 

I don’t want to be _rude_ to the bloke, I only want to put him six feet under ground. 

What’s he on about? Scones?

”Um- yes, we bake all kinds of scones here.”

# BAZ

”I’d like half a dozen blueberry scones,” the male Wellbelove says or maybe even purrs. (I can’t be sure any longer.)

The blueberry scones that Simon bakes with his own precious hands? That he _holds_ in his hands? That are perfect to devour while wanking? Even I couldn’t have anticipated this extreme flirting. Am I doomed to be left by Snow for this person?

That’s it. I’m not going to just make my peace with this kind of behaviour from some tanned bloke. Probably an artificial tan and blond hair too, not that it matters, it could be real and I'm still going to fight its effect on Snow. (Is he affected? He seems distracted.) 

Still, I’m not taking it lying down. 

_Well…_ I’ll take Simon’s cock lying down.

 _The line must be drawn here, no further_ , as another great man — Captain Jean Luc Picard said. He might not have meant this situation precisely. However, I’m convinced the good Captain would have had my back.

# SIMON

He was here last week? I don’t remember noticing him. Is he spying on Baz? Is that why he comes here to try and see if Baz will be here too? 

We have some blueberry scones left but Baz bought two dozen the day before yesterday, he must like them a lot. 

I have to save all of them for Baz. Maybe he’ll like me more if I get him his favourite scones. Since he’s so much into food, especially baked goods. 

I think Baz likes food a lot just avoids talking about it... Maybe it’s some sort of eating disorder. (I’m no expert in medicine.) But then he did talk a lot about baking at the cafe and yesterday... well, that was mostly just me talking for his benefit. He does bring the subject a lot… Not sure what it all means… I _am_ sure that I need to save all the blueberry scones for Baz. He isn’t eating enough and maybe he’ll eat more because he likes them.

”Sorry, we sold the last of them already,” I tell him and try to be polite since he’s a customer. 

”Such a shame, I’ll be back next week then.”

”Perfect.” I won’t be here, which means Baz won’t be here either, which means this bloke won’t be able to look at Baz. 

And if we encounter him for some reason somewhere else, he’s not a customer anymore, so it’s okay to kill him, or well, at least to punch him. 

I should probably not kill people in front of Baz. I don’t want him to think less of me. Baz has good manners and I guess it might be considered in poor taste to walk around killing people.

Baz frowns. Has he figured out that I’m extremely jealous and on the verge of physical violence with possibly lethal consequences to this bloke? 

Does Baz think less of me now already? 

# BAZ

Was Snow happy about seeing the bloke next week? I thought he was going to be done with the employment this week. Have I misunderstood?

When the male Wellbelove leaves, I ask him.

”Are you still working next week?”

”No, tomorrow is my last day,” he says.

Well, that makes no sense…

However, before I can think about it more, Snow takes my hand and leads me into the spare room. He hands me two paper bags.

”Thank you?” I’m not sure what this is about.

”Blueberry scones,” he says and blushes, ”you like them.” 

”I thought you were out?”

”We are now,” he smirks at me.

Crowley, Snow is giving me food. This might be the most unbelievable thing that happened to me in the last twenty four hours and he fucked my arse with his tongue yesterday evening.

Well, I still need to pay for it. Simon is an employee.

As I reach for my wallet, Snow stops me,”Those are for you.”

”Yes, but—”

”It’s just scones, Baz. Consider it my contribution to our meals. Besides, I get an employee discount.”

”Alright.” I’m smiling and so is Simon. And then he kisses me in that passionate way only he can. 

This is obviously purely theoretical speculation on my part since Simon is the only person I ever kissed or want to kiss. However, it’s safe to assume that no one can have so much fire in them as Simon Snow.

When he pulls me closer, I can feel his cock hardening against me and there’s a bit of friction between us. 

I push back, grinding against Simon because I can’t _not_ do it. I feel him getting harder with every move of my hips against his heavenly cock, that I get to be near — a mere mortal in the presence of divinity. 

I want him in whichever way possible. 

Well, nothing is possible at the moment since he has to work. A customer might come in any second. 

Simon’s grip on me tightens and he relocates both of his hands to my derrière and gropes in that way I like, as in an abundance of squeezing. I thrust myself into him and he growls right into my mouth. 

We’re both hard now and all I want is to take him in my mouth. (I can do it now since I’ve already fed.)

When he abandons my lips before I worry as to the reason why he starts licking my neck. It’s so good. 

I feel the pricking of another love bite in the making and then another. I’m ecstatic because all I want is to be marked by him and the ones from yesterday have already faded away. 

I’ve checked them all when I took a shower after hunting. I took a very extensive shower and cast my beloved thorough cleaning spell, just in case. (I also touched up my eyebrows a tad. I do that by hand since there is no spell in the world with as much precision as I am capable of.)

Yes, of course I wanked too while in the shower. You didn’t have to ask. 

Next time just assume that if shower is involved I will be wanking to the thoughts of Simon. I remembered every kiss and caress we shared yesterday and this morning. 

I relished in the memory of Simon’s grandiose cock on the back of my throat, making me feel full and complete. And of course, his powerful, oh so talented tongue both on and inside my arse. I want him to do it again. I hope he will. 

I also want him to finally penetrate me with his overly impressive sword. 

Of course, I am not talking about the Sword of Mages, you imbecile. 

I’m referring to Simon’s massive cock that can hardly be described as one; unless it’s a mythological cock that belongs to one of the gods or titans.

I was imagining every sexual and none-sexual deed we shared — everything.

# SIMON

I’ve noticed how much Baz gasps every time I leave a love bite on him. I think he likes it a lot. I love it. 

Not because I’m trying to say that he belongs to me, I just want to feel closer to him in any way possible and this is one of the ways. 

He’s so beautiful, his skin tastes and feels heavenly. Baz is all I want and I want to make him feel _good_.

I’d gladly do much more than this, but I’m at work so we can’t do much. Hopefully after we get to do more — I want to do something to his arse if he lets me and his cock and kiss him more. 

And since the love bite on his neck faded the others probably did too, so I want to suck in another on his hips, and stomach. (I think he might be into that. I am too.)

# BAZ

Now I will have new love bites to feel and to admire. I will be all alone today while Snow is at work, missing him, thinking about him. 

I need this as a reminder of him being real, wanting me. Now I will have proof of it on my lower neck. (I hope he’ll do more later, like he did yesterday.)

We’ve been kissing for a good fifteen minutes now — exploring each other’s mouth. Simon’s powerful tongue is making me swoon. I’m holding on to him tightly. 

However, he lets me take the lead more often than not. I make a good use of my tongue and explore every part of his mouth, licking into him, dancing with his tongue, savouring everything he’s giving me.

The bell announcing a new customer hasn’t rang once and I try to see that as the universe’s way of taking pity on me. What can I say, when Simon is pushing his hard cock against me while playing with my behind I tend to go optimistic. 

”Your lips are so beautiful,” Simon says and traces my lower lips with his fingertip. I kiss it and he smiles at me.

Perhaps this means that he wasn’t entranced by the male Wellbelove after all…

Eventually, I take my leave. (I don’t want to seem overly needy), however, I will be back shortly with lunch.

* * *

When I get home I press both orange and apple juice. Vera helps me with lunch — roast beef sandwiches again, with a salad too, to keep it healthier for Simon. 

I was too busy being euphoric from him showing up at my door yesterday to think too much about what kind of food I’m feeding him. I know what he likes and that’s what I was choosing, except now I’m worried it might not have been as healthy as it could have been. 

Unfortunately, we don’t have aubergine at home. 

I forgot to stop by the store and buy some — too much stress after that interaction with male Wellbelove, worrying Simon was going to leave me for that bloke.

I now realized that I’m not entirely sure how to make aubergine juice. Should anything else go into it since it sounds like a somewhat bitter drink…

Regardless, if anyone knows anything about food, it's my nanny. 

”Vera, do you by any chance know how to make aubergine juice?” 

”Aubergine? No, I wasn’t aware people drink such a thing,” she answers and then adds after a pause. ”Perhaps it’s something popular with nowadays youth.”

”That is possible,” I agree.

However, I myself am less than knowledgeable when it comes to popular culture. I might need to text Niall later and ask him.

Then I could bring aubergine juice for Simon tomorrow. 

I hope what I’m bringing today with me will suffice.

With lunch and juice all packed, I drive up to the bakery.

* * *

# SIMON

Just after Baz leaves, the florist sends me pictures and I find the perfect bouquet. 

”Desert Dawn” with pretty deep red and pink flowers, that do look wild and as if they would help one to survive in the desert. 

That’s the best representation for my desire to both want to be bitten by Baz, me wanting his lips and rim and also me needing him like one needs water. (That’s where the desert analogy comes in.)

And it also very specifically hints that every day feels as darkness unless we’re together.

_Perfect._

Who knew that it’s so easy to express feelings through flowers without overwhelming the recipient? 

Is that what they call the flower language? I seem to be fluent without any previous schooling. Am I gifted by any chance?

Do I have a gift for this particular language? 

Before picking it up on my lunch break I decided to stop by the pharmacy first. My relationship with Baz has been progressing faster than I thought it would and I’d like to be prepared. 

I’m going to buy some condoms. I haven’t been with anyone before Baz and he said he’s inexperienced too so it's not like we have anything to worry about but everyone always talks about how great condoms are. 

Who knows maybe people are using them because sex feels even better with the condom… I should buy some just in case. 

I’m not sure they have anything in my size. 

There’s a big selection. I tried to go on names that represented sizes but then when I looked at the packages they all looked almost the same.

There was one called ”Anaconda” and I thought maybe that’d fit me, yet it turned out to be smaller than ”Large”. (I’m pretty sure large won’t do.) 

Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m misunderstanding the definition of the word ”anaconda”. (I thought it was a very big snake, could be wrong or the snake is smaller than I thought.)

I bought large for Baz though in case he's interested in fucking me.

Eventually, I found a multipack in a variety of sizes so I took that too. Hopefully, something will fit.

Worse case scenario we don’t use any. Not like we need to. So what if sex is more pleasurable with a condom on? 

Surely even without it’d be amazing because it’s Baz and everything with him is amazing.

They had more interesting items but I’m not experienced so I didn’t get anything. Baz could probably cast **Candle in the Wind** on us when we need it anyway.

I bought a bottle of massage oil that promised a warming effect. I think Baz might like it. I could rub him if he’d be alright with that. He has been doing so much for me lately. I’d be nice to do _something_ for him. 

And I would enjoy it myself too — to touch him.

I want to touch him all the time.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess after this chapter, I feel some moral obligation to say — _both_ condoms and lube are very important. Don’t slack on that. 🤣


	26. Chapter 26

# BAZ

I’m at the bakery with lunch but Simon isn’t here. 

The bakery is empty. I put the picnic hamper down and wait for him. 

As time flies by any hope I have left vanishes.

I don’t know what I was expecting. For him to love me, to choose _me_. 

He is clearly on a lunch date with someone else. 

There were no promises made. I shouldn’t be disappointed. I don’t own him. He’s free to do whatever he wants, date whoever he wants. 

I just hoped that he was interested enough in me to give us a chance. It seemed that way after everything that happened between the two of us. 

Perhaps I’m just naive to have thought that. It was foolish of me.

It seems useless now that I have moved all his things and neatly arranged them in my wardrobe. I did it after taking a short break and eating the chocolate he gave me. I smelled the flowers yet again and let, as it turns out, the fruitless hope take root in my heart…

Snow isn’t going to stay with me for the summer; he’s changed his mind. He doesn’t want that, he wants to be _free_ to date as much as he desires. 

Why did I ever think he would want to be with me? I'm just a pathetic lovesick vampire with nothing to offer.

I’m on my way to go back to the car when I spot him walking towards the bakery. 

The date must have been fast. 

Who was it with? Have they kissed? _More_ than kissed? Has the human or the creature tasted his glorious cock? 

Has Snow fucked their mouth? (It’s not my fault I couldn't offer him that, I’m not experienced.)

I bet that other individual is more experienced than I am and Snow could fuck his mouth without any delay. Is that what he was doing? Fucking someone’s mouth? 

I notice a big brown paper bag immediately. Has someone given him flowers as he gave me yesterday? 

Why haven’t I done that? Why did I come over with just a fucking lunch? 

I guess I thought he’d appreciate that more than flowers since he likes food and he needs to eat real food and not only live off scones. 

Obviously, I was wrong, he wanted _flowers_ instead.

Simon smiles when he sees me, but the smile falls as he comes closer. (Did he not recognize me at first? Must be it.)

# SIMON

Baz is crying. Has something happened? Has he gotten in trouble because I stayed over last night? 

I know I’m not the most popular person amongst the Old Families. (I’m pretty sure they all hate my guts.) 

When I just came to Watford many of them wanted to meet me but the Mage didn’t let them. And now they only see me as his pawn, which unfortunately is true, I always did what he said, fought what he told me to fight... (I know that people say that because I heard some students talk behind my back.) 

That’s funny since the Mage told me that he didn’t want me to become anyone’s pawn and then made me into one for himself.

Will Baz feel embarrassed if I ask him what happened? Is that too private? But we have been on a date yesterday, shouldn’t I be allowed to ask?

I want him to be happy. I need to make sure he is and for that I have to _know_ what happened. 

That way I’ll know if there’s anything I can do to help. I put the paper bag down and take his hand.

”Baz? Are you— What’s wrong?”

”Nothing’s wrong,” he says not catching my eyes.

”I’m sorry,” I apologise, not sure for what exactly. 

Sorry, I caused him trouble with his family. 

Sorry, the mere mention of my name makes people uncomfortable. 

Sorry, I can’t be from an acceptable background for Baz. 

Sorry, I’m just a chavvy Normal with uncontrollable magic.

”No...no. Don’t be. It’s your right to do whatever you please,” he lets out and it comes out almost defensive. 

_Wait_ … Do what I please? I thought my existence and lack of pedigree was the problem for his family. 

Have I also done something wrong? I thought I was doing good, or at the very least better. 

Besides, I haven’t interacted with his family yet. We came in fairly late and Baz drove me to work early.

Is he cross with me because of his family or because he himself thinks I’ve done something inexcusable? What have I done exactly? I need to know.

”What do you mean?” 

# BAZ

I feel the lump in my throat. 

As it is, I’ve just noticed that I’m crying. I can’t let him see me like this — pathetic… I’ll lose him forever. All I do is lose.

I can’t hear any of it. I can’t handle this conversation. It’s all too much and I might start sobbing soon.

Therefore I need to leave before I repulse Snow even more with my feelings. (I didn’t choose to have this many feelings, it was never a choice to be _me_.)

# SIMON

” _Don’t_ , Snow. Don’t make it harder than it has to be,” he says and drops my hand. His voice is trembling.

” _Please_ , Baz. Just tell me what it is that I’ve done. I promise to try and do better next time if it’s possible,” I plead with him.

# BAZ

Do better? As in to hide his dates better? 

Not that he has to, we aren’t exclusive, I don’t think. (He hasn’t said that we were, I’m assuming to avoid any emotional liability on his part.)

”Sorry, Snow. I have to go. There’s lunch in the picnic hamper,” I try my best not to let my hands tremble too much and put the hamper down, next to him. ”I’ll pick you up when you’re done if you still want me to.” 

I need to escape the humiliation of Snow losing all interest in me when he sees me for who I am — _weak and in love_. 

Perhaps after I regroup I will think of a way to salvage this situation and have a real chance with him. 

The probability is high that I’m only kidding myself about having a real chance with Simon Snow. 

I can see that now more clearly. 

# SIMON

Baz looks so sad. I can’t lose him after just getting him. 

It’s the good things that’ll drive you mad the most with missing them. I only have one on my list now, one I can’t live without — _Baz_.

How do I keep him from leaving? How do I find out what’s wrong if he doesn’t talk to me? 

Is he embarrassed with me? Is it why he came by, to say we’re through? That he wants someone better, someone that can offer him something I could never. 

Nice in-laws (or any in-laws at all) to visit for Christmas, a fun fact or an embarrassing joke from the family history that’ll make everyone laugh. 

I don't have that, I never will. I’m an unwanted orphan. 

Nobody adopted me because I wasn’t good enough and never will be… It’s a true wonder that he wants anything to do with me.

I’m going for one last try to find out what happened.

”Have I done something wrong yesterday or is it because your family doesn’t like me?” 

Shouldn’t I get to know what I’ve done or what caused all is, so I can fix it if he will ever give me another chance? 

Does his family hate me or is he himself cross and disappointed in me?

# BAZ

”What?” I ask dumbstruck. What is he on about? 

Snow’s hand starts to reach for his hair before he drops it almost in horror. 

And there it is, this new unexplainable behaviour. It doesn’t add up. Why is he doing this? 

Is this because of someone? Who is he doing it for? Who means this much to him?

”You’re cross with me because your family doesn’t approve of me because I’m the Mage’s Heir.”

”What?” I seem to have kept one single word in my vocabulary.

”It’s not like I spend any time with him. We’re not a family. The Mage had to make me his heir because everybody thought I was too dangerous to let into Warford, even Penny’s mum thought so.”

”What?” Crowley. Why can’t I manage to say something else, anything at this point will make me sound less of an idiot.

”Or is it because they think I’m just a chavvy Normal? Agatha says I’m a Normal.” 

There are tears in his eyes. Simon looks devastated. That’s not what I wanted. That’s… 

What have I done? I take both his hands in mine.

” _Simon_. You’re not a Normal. You’re the most powerful magician to ever have lived. Forget what Wellbelove thinks. I don’t think that and neither does my dad.”

He mutters, tears start to spill over his cheeks, ”Then it’s because I’m _me_ , right? He’s against me personally?”

I kiss his cheeks lightly while holding tight on to his hand and whisper to him, ”No one is against you, Simon, I promise.”

”Then… You are- You were-”

This might be his futile attempt not to state the obvious — my own tears that I felt earlier. I must look hideous.

”No. Crowley, I... It’s _nothing_ ,” It’s only a partial lie, not even a lie. 

”Then why do you want to leave?” He asks.

What am I to answer to that?

”I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with you, if you'd be alright with that,” I’m trying to sooth him, even though I’m not sure why he cares exactly. Nevertheless, all that is important right now is to make sure that Simon isn’t sad anymore, even if it means to bare my heart to him.

”Of course I do,” he sounds very determined. 

I smile at Simon then and kiss his cheeks again, he gives me a shy smile in return, he still looks a bit worried.

# SIMON

Baz doesn’t sound fine, he also looks in distress. He’s beautiful no matter what of course, no one can compare, ever, but something must be wrong.

”Are you sure? You can tell me if it’s your family. You can talk to me, Baz, about anything.”

And then I realize it — it must be allergies. 

Oh, Merlin, I’m such a tosser. I can’t bring attention to any possible weaknesses he has. 

He’s still perfect in my eyes. But I worry he’ll be uncomfortable admitting he has allergies. 

I’m still surprised vampires get allergies. 

Maybe it’s the _flowers_.

# BAZ

”Yes, nothing to worry about.” I say and Simon gifts me with the brightest smile. Good. I want him to be happy. 

When I reach for his mouth he meets my lips with his, with relief and eagerness. (Or am I imagining that?) 

I can’t tell him what I was thinking earlier, he’d be repulsed. (Jealousy is unattractive.) 

Who cares if he was on a lunch date and whatever it is they did together _sexually_. Simon looked miserable because I was leaving. I never want to do that again — make him look unhappy. 

I don’t care how many people he’s dating as long as he looks at me like he does now with passion and kisses me like that — pouring emotion akin to love into my lips.

Isn’t that an indicator that he wants me at the very least a little, that he cares a little? 

”Did you wait long?” He asks me after we pull apart.

”Not at all, I just got here,” It’s not a lie when time is subjective. 

Besides, it would not be polite to let him know that I was waiting for him and slowly falling apart, losing all hope…

”That’s good. I’m sorry to have made you wait at all.” 

Why is he so gentle with me? ”I was- well I was-,” He’s a bit flustered now. 

I suspect he doesn’t want to mention the date. He’s being considerate. 

But I’m alright now. It doesn’t bother me. (Of course it bloody well _bothers me_ but I have no right to feel this way, to tell Simon whom he may or may not date.) 

I take what I can and hope I can win him over eventually. 

# SIMON

I didn’t want to tell him about the flowers because of his allergies. But then as all this stress settles down and I can think, I remember that Baz didn’t react at all to the bouquet I gave him yesterday. 

So it must not be the flowers after all and I still can give them to him.

I wonder what he is allergic to then…

Maybe it's something special only vampires are sensitive to (like with the crosses), vampiric pollen maybe...

# BAZ

Simon presents me with a bouquet as we enter the bakery. The flowers are for _me_? I know they must be, there’s a card with my name on it. 

Was he at the florist and not on a lunch date by any chance?

He put me through an emotional ringer yet again. Dating Simon Snow is a nerve wracking rollercoaster, I so prefer the sexual one we’ve been having to all these stresses. 

If only I could go down on Simon right here at the bakery. (I need it for mental health care purposes.)

We eat lunch, in a spare room. He kisses me after for so long he makes me forget who I am. He makes me feel alive.

Later we relocate and sit behind the counter, in case any customers come in. However, it seems to be dead around lunchtime. 

Simon kisses me again and keeps holding my hand. I feel better with a belly both full of food and butterflies. It’s the butterflies that help and knowing he’s full of healthy food.

I’m clinging to his hand and never want to let go of it again. I know that’s not a realistic goal, but I don’t care.

He’ll be done in an hour. I don’t understand why they would have a lunch break one hour before the day is over. However, it is more beneficial to eat lunch early in the day, so perhaps it’s a good thing.

I hope he won’t mind me sticking around before it’s time to leave. I need to be close to him now, especially after earlier. I might be terrified every time he leaves, thinking he’s leaving me. 

_Is that unhealthy?_

All I want is to know if there is hope for him to give us a real chance before someone else catches his eye. I need time in order for him to choose me. 

Will he give me that? Time to show him that I’m the right choice that no one else will love him the way I do. (No one _can_ love him this much.)

I love Simon with every fibre of my being, with every heartbeat and every breath I take. I don’t have an actual soul, but it feels as though _he’s_ _mine_.

The bouquet he presented me with today is beautiful. It’s a wedding arrangement yet again. 

I can’t help but wonder what kind of florist would recommend it or has he ordered it himself by mistake?

Burgundy Mixed Dahlias

Dark Purple Cushion Poms

Pink Ice Protea

Burgundy Astilbe

Seeded Eucalyptus

Parvafolia Eucalyptus

White Wax Flower

There’s even two different kinds of eucalyptus today. Yet, this time I don’t even consider for a moment that he’s trying to poison me. 

I’ve become quite the optimist.

Instead, I’m looking for new clues, since apparently he’s into that. I wonder if it’s Simon’s come that is having this particular effect on me. 

What else can his come can do to me? Will it cure me from getting cold as well? (Not right away of course, but after a longer exposure perhaps… as in every day for the rest of our lives.)

I pick up the card to see if Snow has scribbled anything on this one as well. 

It says ”I can’t wait, Baz.” Simon is quite the riddler but I have managed to crack his previous puzzle — the twilight — right off the bat — about him wanting to stay until the sun goes down (I managed to convince him to stay until the sun went up). 

I might not be Sherlock Holmes but I’m sure I’ll figure this puzzle out quickly. 

I look at the name of the bouquet since that’s where the clue to the riddle was hiding on the flowers from yesterday. 

”Desert Dawn” 

Does he think that I don’t use enough moisturizer on my skin or that my skin is dull? And what about dawn? 

Or is he saying that he himself wants to use more skincare products, especially at dawn? I have more, of course, I simply didn’t want to shock him with my daily routine…

For example I have very fine L-Ascorbic Acid powder that could be mixed with a moisturiser and indeed helps to brighten the skin tone. (If that perhaps was his concern since he chose a word ”desert”.) 

We will need to ease Simon’s skin into it, of course. It’s quite potent. 

However, I am confident he will appreciate all the benefits of such a product. He seems to be into skincare, which is a surprise. (I happen to like these kind of surprises.)

As soon as we return home, Simon and I get to our room. (It’s ours now.) We were snogging throughout the whole house. 

I left the bouquet in a vase in the kitchen because there was no chance for me to carry it without dropping the vase — not with all the snogging and my mind and heart being drunk on the eerie happiness of him not dumping me and coming back to the house with me. 

I will cast a protection spell on the flowers and Simon’s note later. 

The one from yesterday I was planning to keep under my cushion. However, since he slept over, that would have looked too pathetic. That is why I put it inside my desk instead, for safekeeping. 

”We should take a nap,” I suggest through kissing.

”Yeah… Good idea,” he’s murmuring into my mouth and reaches for the buttons of my shirt.

Crowley, that’s not how I meant it but you don’t hear me complain.

By the time we reach the bed, we’ve shed most of the clothing. The last few pieces come off in bed. (I don’t mind the littering with our clothing.) (I will put them all away in the laundry bin later.)

I’m touching him and kissing him and it’s simply marvellous.

His cock starts to harden in my hand. All I want to do is to get him off — with my mouth or my hands. 

What I would also like is for him to enter me and fuck me until he fills me full with his precious come. 

I am tired though and so is he. 

Simon is _so_ tired, he keeps trying to hide his yawns. We do need a nap before we continue. 

And today I’m full of belief that we indeed will pick up where we left off, (must be the intoxicating aroma of his precome and the feeling of his tender kisses that is doing it to me). 

” _Simon_ ,” I say and place a kiss on his cheek, ”How about we rest for a moment?”

He smiles at me, through another yawn, ”Okay.”

I fall asleep with him curled into me, his face on my shoulder, his arm swung around my chest, holding to me as if he doesn’t want to let me go. I put my arm around his shoulder and hold on to him too.

I love him so much and at this moment I can’t be happier than this. I only hope I get to keep him. 

I also hope we’ll be shagging tonight. (He seems to be over enthusiastic on that subject practically twenty four seven unless I’m misreading all the sighs.)

* * *

When I wake up from the nap, Simon is sleeping in my arms. 

I don’t want to wake him up. I just let myself enjoy him and his breathing — even and slow. It floods my heart with glee, seeing him this peaceful.

All I want is for him to be happy and satisfied.

I touch the love bites on my neck with my free hand and relish in their feel. Then I press my lips to him ever so slightly and breath him in.

After I reach for my mobile without waking Simon up, to ask Niall about the aubergine juice. I need to make sure I know how to make it for tomorrow.

Niall  
  
**Today** 15:49  
Niall, I hope you’re well. I went on an ice cream date with Simon yesterday. (Deciduous Tree )(Soft Ice Cream ) That’s a real date. (Upside-Down Face )  
Hi, mate. I see congratulations are in order on you getting into the dating game. (Smiling Face With Sunglasses ) Fucking finally.   
Who’s Simon? Is he from abroad? Is he a Normal? You’re lucky you’re gay and can date anyone you want. (Rainbow) (Smiling Face With Sunglasses )  
I wouldn’t say that being gay made me feel exceptionally lucky through the years…   
You know what I mean. Who’s this bloke? Where’s he from? Tell me all about him. (face with monocle)   
You know him. There is one Simon at school.   
Wait… Are you talking about Simon Snow?  
I am.   
Hilarious. You almost got me there, you really did. Good one, mate! (Face With Tears Of Joy )  
I can assure you it’s not a joke. I was in fact, on a date with Simon Snow yesterday.   
Great snakes! Simon bloody Snow!? Fucking hell, mate!  
I take it back — you can’t date anyone you want. There is one person you can’t date and you just had to pick him.   
For Crowley’s sake, Tyrannus Basilton, have you lost your bloody mind? Have you gone completely mental? Do you have a death wish?  
Why does everyone keep asking me that? Can’t people just be happy for me for once?  
Probably because it’s a valid concern. Snow will kill you as soon as he has real proof of you being a vampire. Do you understand it?   
Please tell me you understand. No more dates! You can never speak to him again.   
Simon already knows. He trusts me.  


Niall seems to be thinking long and hard on what to write next… I may have shocked him a tad. I should probably have eased him into this instead...

Niall  
  
Snow trusting anyone at all? Alright, that’s weird and not very realistic but sure...   
I guess now that I think about it, it does oddly make sense in the scheme of things.  
What do you mean?  
Snow was stalking you for seven years, completely obsessed with you. If you think about it, there had to be a reason, unless he’s lost his mind and is the insane one himself.  
  


Oh… Well, Simon did say he has some kind of list, that he still hasn’t revealed yet. 

Where could he have hidden it? Not that I would go through his belongings. 

I did pack and unpack all his things of course, but I wasn’t snooping in any notebooks (not that there were many).

Niall  
  
Wait. Has Snow brainwashed you with his stalking? Is it one of those Oslo syndrome situations? Aleister Crowley, Baz. Do you need me to rescue you and get you to France?  
For one, it’s Stockholm syndrome, Niall. And no you don’t need to rescue me.  
Interesting how you knew the correct name for the syndrome you claim not to have. (Thinking Face )   
That’s basic knowledge, Niall. I do not need to have it in order to know about it. Why did you choose France? Does it have anything to do with your obsession with (croissant)? They sell them in other countries as well.  
It’s not an obsession if it’s a valid preference, mate. Besides, everyone knows the food is better in the country of origin.  
Let’s say I believe you. I might need to keep closer tabs on you from now on, to know that Snow hasn’t kidnapped you and locked you up in some dungeon. (Door ) He seems like the type.  
  


He does? I thought I was the only one daydreaming about locking Simon in this very room, (not against his will obviously.)

Niall  
  
Simon is staying with me for the summer.  
Crowley, is Snow with you now? Are you being monitored? Is it even you that I’m speaking to? What was my pet’s name at the age of five?  
Yes, Simon is with me and currently napping. (Sleeping Accommodation ≊ Person In Bed) ”Cowley” was the name of your (hedgehog) because you were prone to swearing even at that young age but couldn't pronounce your r’s yet.  
Good, just checking. I chose France since they seem like the liberal kind of people (Wine Glass ) (Cigarette ) , where no one would pay two handsome young lads on sexcapades any attention. (Winking Face )   
Sexcapades? Are you by any chance insane yourself?  
That’d be our cover story, as not to raise any questions.  
There are limitless possibilities, Niall, and that’s what you choose? What about saying we’re exchange students?  
My dear Basil, they are literally the same thing(Heavy Exclamation Mark Symbol ≊ Exclamation Mark)Why do you think anyone comes on a school exchange trip (Exclamation question mars)   
I resent your tone. The answer is: to study, file up on the language skill and absorb the culture.  
Oh, mate… You’re my best friend.  
That seems to have come out as an insult. You too are my best friend. Yet unlike you, I don’t insinuate anything bad by it.  
Maybe it’s good you and Snow ended up together.   
Thank you. Again… Seems more of an insult...  
No no... But let’s just say, Snow wouldn’t have understood the meaning of a school exchange program either, for different reasons, obviously.   
He would have seen it as an opportunity to have a whole country with new people to get into fights with instead.  
  


I hope that’s how Simon would see that and not as an opportunity for sexcapades. Although, it seems he has no problems with that on the home front either, dating all those blokes. (I still have no idea how many, but must be quite a few.)

Niall  
  
Wait. Is Snow going to kill me for speaking to you?  
Of course not, Simon is hardly the jealous type.  
  


Not when it comes to me at the very least. He would become extremely furious whenever l even looked at Wellbelove. 

That was obviously before he knew he was gay and was in fact not interested in her.

Niall  
  
And he was showing up to every (Soccer Ball ) practice. I just assumed he was a fan.  
But he probably was there for you since he was constantly looking at you and you alone. I never thought about that.  
Well, I think he might like me.  
All jokes aside, I’m glad to hear that, Baz.   
So am I. Do you happen to know how to make aubergine juice?  
Excuse me? Is that from one of the Pitches cookbooks? Maybe they should stay banned.  
No, nothing like that. It might be something popular in the Normal world, a healthy beverage perhaps. Have you heard anything? I suspect it tastes bitter and is a bit too thick in texture. Is there a way to make it better?  
I guess you could add pineapple juice to it, that is a thin liquid and has such an overwhelming flavour it might conceal the rest.   
But Baz, aubergine juice hardly sounds palatable. Are you sure it wasn’t a different meaty fruit? Maybe papaya or mango? It would make more sense.  
I’m sure. Simon asked me to bring him some.  
Snow asked you about aubergine juice, specifically?  
Well, he implied.  
In what context has he implied this exactly?  
He sent me this. (Aubergine ≊ Eggplant)(Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)   
That’s an orgasming dick, mate. Snow wants a different kind of juice from you. (Winking Face )  
  


_Oh._ Does it mean Simon was saying that he wanted my cock? Wanted me to come in his mouth? 

Was I right to assume that we indeed discussed something other than pressed juice?

I may have misunderstood that whole conversation. Simon wants to suck my cock. I have written proof, which means I did in fact not dream it all up. I should back up all my messages with Simon to the cloud, just to be on the safe side.

Niall  
  
What would be an appropriate answer to such a text?   
I’m not sure. It depends on what you’re feeling on the topic.  
  


My feelings? I can hardly believe it to be true and want it to happen with all my undead heart.

Niall  
  
I feel positively on the topic.  
Then perhaps you could respond in kind or whatever emoji that represents your emotion.  
  


The utter happiness is the emotion I feel while thinking about Simon sucking my cock.

I wonder what emoji that would be...

Niall  
  
Alright, and if I were the recipient of the so-called aubergine juice that seems a highly illogical metaphor for what it is supposed to represent?  
It’s a good metaphor, don’t overthink it, Baz. And to answer your question. I don’t know what your reaction to that is if that’s something you’d want.  
  


I wonder what emoji represents eagerly lapping up _Simon's come._ I should probably not ask Niall a question that graphic.

Niall  
  
That would be affirmative. What emoji implies that exactly?  
Perhaps lips, mouth, tongue emoji could be a suitable response.  
Duly noted. Thank you for your help, Niall.  
No problem, mate. The date must have gone well.  
Yes, it went rather well.  
Niall…   
Yes?  
How do you know if you’re still a virgin?  
How do you not know?   
Baz, were you drunk last night? Do I need to punch Snow in his face?  
No, of course not. Also, don’t get into any fights with Simon. He has a bit of a temper.  
A bit? (Face With Rolling Eyes ) I’m not even going to comment on that.   
Alright, tell me what your concerns are then.  
It’s just I’m not certain if what happened means… Well… I'm simply not sure what counts for what exactly.  
I see… Have you two done what Snow was implying in the text?  
Yes and some other things, but not all the way.  
Technically, you’re not a virgin anymore. It doesn’t have to be all the way.   
That must have been quite a date, an eventful for sure.   
  


This means I gave my virginity to Simon yesterday morning. It’s a dream come true. 

Nevertheless, I still want us to go all the way. In any way he’d want me.

Niall  
  
Thank you. Good to know. Yes, it was and we’re going on another date today, to play minigolf.  
No problem. Minigolf? Is that a sport?   
I have no idea, but Simon wants to play.  
You should let him win, mate. He’s quite the arrogant bastard.   
Niall, please don’t call Simon that. And yes, I’m not an idiot, of course, I’m letting him win.  
Sure, sorry. On another note, does this mean that you two are serious and Snow and Agatha Wellbelove are through?  
  


We aren’t serious. Well, I am, not Simon — hopefully only _yet_.

I’m not comfortable blabbing about Simon being gay, even to my best friend but I will respond in a way that might give him an answer to what he really wants to know. Niall had a crush on her for a while. She’s the reason he spells his eyes muddy blue.

Niall  
  
That is correct, they won’t be getting back together.  
Well, I like this even better. (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes ) Congratulations, mate.  
So do I. Thank you. (Upside-Down Face )   
**Read** 16:26

  


* * *

Niall  
  
What the hell Basil?  
What’s wrong?  
I hear congratulations are in order to the happy couple, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch and Simon Snow. (Champagne glasses ) (Bottle With Popping Cork ) (Ring ) Way to bury the lead.  
  


Oh no…

Niall  
  
Who told you?  
Dev texted me just now. Apparently your dad called his dad earlier today.   
  


Grimms are quite the busy buddies. I’m surprised Dev hasn’t texted me yet. (He might be waiting to confront me in person.)

Why can't more people be like my aunt and keep all the secrets to themselves?

Niall  
  
When the hell were you going to tell me?  
There’s nothing to tell.  
You aren’t proposing to Snow?  
I am, simply not yet and I don't tell anyone about my intentions.  
What do you mean?   
It’s on a need to know basis, as in nobody should know about it.  
Why not?  
Because Simon doesn’t know himself yet. It might take time. I just said that to my father so he knew I was serious.  
Well, you don’t have to worry about me, I won’t tell anyone. But they were discussing venues already.  
Wait a minute! (Electric Light Bulb ≊ Light Bulb)   
Is Snow the bloke you were hang up on since the end of our first year and refused to tell who it was?  
That is correct.  
Aleister fucking Crowley, out of all eligible blokes in the whole Britain, you had to choose the most dangerous one?  
It was hardly a choice. Besides, Simon is very kind.  
Yeah… (Face With Rolling Eyes ) When someone describes Snow that is the first word they use.   
Simon is very kind. I’m not making it up, Niall.  
Oh, I believe that you’re being serious, as in you yourself think that about him. You’re in (Blue Heart ) alright. I guess I’m delighted for you then. If you’re happy, so am I. (Smiling Face With Sunglasses )   
Thank you. Do you think my whole family knows?  
I doubt that. It’s probably just Dev’s dad. You need to hope there won’t be any family reunions in the near future.  
You will tell me if any rumours start to circulate, won’t you?  
Yeah, yeah. It’s going to be fine. But just to be on the safe side though, you might want to hurry up (Ice cube) the process of this proposal.  
  


* * *

After this surprising conversation with Niall, I notice the package I left on the bed for Simon.

We were too busy earlier undressing each other and snogging and I simply forgot about it while Simon hasn’t noticed it lying there.

It’s the mobile I’ve got for him — grey since it’s his favourite colour. I’m lucky that’s the case since I want nothing more than to surround Simon in my colours and in that way let him get more used to me.

I wrapped the package myself since I don’t believe anyone can be as meticulous as I am. 

By the time I was done it looked exquisite. I chose light grey packaging paper and a darker deeper grey ribbon — silk, of course. You’ll never see me using plastic for no reason. 

Every corner is tucked with perfect precision. I know a thing or two about accuracy. 

And before you ask — _no_ , I don’t have to make everything perfect (I don’t think.) 

I simply prefer it that way. It brings me joy.

When Simon wakes up, the first thing he does before even opening his eyes is murmur ”Baz” and kiss where it is closest to reach. 

It happens to be my shoulder because he was napping in my arms, with his head on my shoulder. 

It’s the most incredible kiss because he isn’t even awake yet but he’s calling for me and pressing his lips to me.

I’m not sure what it can mean. Is it the familiarity or is it because it’s me? I’ll take anything. 

I am trying desperately to get Simon used to me and hope that eventually he’ll see me as more than his roommate that he fought with for seven years. 

I crave his love. I’m not sure it’s in the stars for me, but that is what I wish for. 

There are times I believe it’s possible, other times I think I’m being ridiculous for even entertaining that kind of notion — being loved by Simon Snow. Crowley, I don’t deserve that. I’m not even a person. I try not to think about that. 

Simon seems to be accepting me for whatever reason. He’s too kind of a person. If anyone is a humanitarian it’d be him — to see something good in me. 

Unless he’s dating me out of charity because I’m a lost cause, an undesirable? Surely not, even Snow would not go this far in his goodness.

It might be better for my mental health not to ponder too much about this topic. I also try to think about what Simon told me yesterday — that there’s a list of all the things he wanted to do to me and it wasn’t strictly about fighting. 

Shouldn’t that indicate that I have a chance with him?

When he reaches for me with his mouth I kiss him with every emotion I have. I don’t care that it’s pathetic — I’m beyond saving now, I’ve passed the line and there’s no going back.

It doesn’t take long before I take him in my mouth.

I’ve fed plenty and eagerly suck his spectacular beast, taking him in. I think I might even go faster this time to finally gulp his whole powerful blade. I’m overwhelmed by his aroma and his precome in the best possible way. 

It’s not that we’re in a rush, I’m simply eager for his cock.

Simon is so beautiful and he’s clutching at my hair, pulling and moaning _my_ name, always my — ” _Baz_...” ” _Oh Baz_...” — it’s other earthly.

He almost bucks his hips into me, but stops just in time. I think he’s being this considerate for my benefit and not because he doesn't want to fuck my mouth. 

And that makes me experience even more happiness, knowing that possibly Simon cares for me, for my comfort.

I watch his face flushed with pleasure, his eyes piercing mine and work as hard and fast as I can on him, trying to get more of these wonderful noises out of him. 

Unfortunately it’s getting hard to breathe, going this fast around his cock and I’m worried I might gag. 

I went too fast...

So I give one more extra powerful suck all the way from the base to the tip and replace my mouth with my hands while licking and sucking on his bollocks instead.

I’m worried it’s not enough for him. But then I hear him exhale and moan, ” _Yes… Baz…_ ”

My tongue is exploring his bollocks from every angle and relish their texture, scent of his skin… (I like him this extra smooth after I cast the spell on him.)

Everything about him feels wonderful. Simon is my heaven on earth. (The only one I’ll ever get to see, yet so much better than any heaven imaginable.)

I’m giving his cock long and tight pulls and squeeze a bit too with both hands (I’ve noticed that’s how he likes it.) I also let my thumb gently caress his tip, spreading his precome and my saliva and then twist a bit the way I like it. Simon seems to enjoy it too.

As soon as I get my breathing under control, I return my lips to his cock but I am mindful of not going too fast right away.

Instead, I start to poke his cock into the side of my inner cheek. I haven’t tried that before and am worried if perhaps it doesn’t feel good for Simon but then I hear, ” _Oh fuck…”_ from him and all my worry washes away. 

He feels so smooth and hard against my inner cheek. The taste of him is intoxicating.

It doesn’t take long before I’m back to sucking him, properly.

Everything is getting more wet and I really hope he likes it. I'm alternating between deep and tight sucking and licking his whole beast, letting my tongue caress the shaft as I go. 

# SIMON

Baz is so hot and his mouth is so wet. The sounds that are coming out of him while he’s sucking my cock are pornographic on their own.

His lips are pink and also wet. It’s incredible and he looks _so good_.

Jesus fucking Christ, I would look at him with his beautiful full lips around my cock forever. 

It feels incredible but it looks incredible too. 

Baz doesn't take his eyes off me. His beautiful eyes seem to reach into my soul. I can’t look away either. Holding his gaze makes me feel so much. 

” _Baz… yes…_ ” is slipping out of me over and over again...

I'm careful not to tell him that I’m in love with him. It’s a constant concern I’ve been having when he is anywhere near my cock or talking about my cock — I’m ready to spill with everything, not only my come.

When his tongue traces my shaft, I shiver from pleasure. He has a very flexible tongue. 

Then he takes me in again and isn’t that a sight to behold.

I don’t have a pretty cock, but with his lips around it, it sure looks good. That’s because everything looks great if you add Baz.

And that thing with his cheek — brilliant. I have to try it on him too.

He’s doing it all — sucking and licking and stroking and even has time to fondle my bollocks. I love everything he does to me.

And then he starts taking more of me into his pretty mouth and I’m not sure if I’m even breathing anymore…

He’s so tight around my cock and I’m trying to hold in and not come right on the spot. 

# BAZ

Finally, as time passes, the danger of possibly gagging disappears and I start to take Simon whole, inch by inch making him groan and moan, ” _Baz…fuck..._ ”

I’m already addicted to the way he moans my name.

By taking Simon all the way, I get all the satisfaction I want out of him, while relishing in the feel of his cock on the back of my throat, going down…

He’s panting loudly and I know he’s close. ” _Baz—_ ” he warns me, he really shouldn't — I’m more attuned to Simon than I am to myself, even after this short of a period of time we’ve spent together.

I pull him out a bit, put my hands around the base of his tree trunk and start sucking fast. My lips are curled around his cock — I want him to come on my tongue, to get the most of this experience and his come.

By the time Simon spills his sweet and smoky nectar in my mouth, I myself have archived all the worldly pleasures there are.

He’s so beautiful — flushed still and panting.

As I let him come down from his own high, I make sure to clean all the come around his beautiful majestic cock.

I then get up on top of him and kiss him.

Simon wraps his arms around me and nuzzles into my neck, placing a few kisses there. On the love bites he left as well. (I have memorized their placement.)

Then he touches my lips again, like he did earlier today.

”Baz, I—” he blushes then, not sure why exactly. I don't understand all of his blushes, they are lovely nonetheless.

”Yes?” I ask.

”You’re so beautiful,” he whispers and kisses my cheek. 

It's wonderful when he’s this soft with me. Yet, at the same time, it terrifies me deeply. 

I’m worried I’ll get used to this, start believing in that bright future for us, for the rest of our lives.

Ultimately, as a fool that I am, instead of saying nothing and just kissing him, I start spilling my secrets, ”So are you, Simon. You’re brighter than the sun.”

I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks from the confession, that was practically a declaration of love.

# SIMON

No one has ever said anything this beautiful to me before.

Baz must really like me a lot already, which is a surprise. I think it was the right move not to kill in front of him. 

That must be why he’s warming up to me this fast — he sees my potential.

I can’t answer him because after what he just said I’m definitely going to tell him that I love him.

And the way he looks now isn’t helping either. Baz smiles and blushes, his eyelashes flutter. 

He’s so pretty, my chest is getting tighter and I’m close to crying because I never got closer to him back at Watford, never let myself acknowledge how much I love him.

# BAZ

Simon has a strange look on his face and I worry he figured it all out, how much I love him and will leave me.

However, before I get to feel embarrassed by my own unreasonable behaviour, his lips press to my cheek and then the other, until they reach for my mouth and it’s slow and something more, something good...

We kiss like that for what feels like an eternity, with Simon naked under my body, holding on to me and my derrière, while making me feel wanted and loved, even if it’s just something mainly conjured by my overly vivid imagination.

Eventually, I settle down next to him, so not to overwhelm him, or make him feel suffocated by me. 

”It’s too late for minigolf,” I say while we’re catching our breath after the kiss and realise the irony of it all. 

I was worried that he wanted to dump me yesterday when he said that same thing. I’m going to suggest coffee.

Simon leans back on the mattress and just looks at me, smiling, ”What do you want to do instead?”

Does it mean that he wants to spend time with me or is it simply because he’s bored now that he’s staying with me and has the need to do something? 

_Stop thinking, Basilton._ That’s a hard, almost impossible task for me. I am trying…

”Would you want to get some coffee?” I suggest instead of stressing. 

Oh, who am I kidding — I can multitask just fine.

”Yeah… sounds good...” He answers while trailing kisses along my shoulder and collarbone, going to my neck.

Crowley, what is the meaning of these tender kisses?

I’m so hard I feel as though I could explode from this — his lips and his breath coming out in the slightest puffs against my skin.

And then he gets on top of me and goes down towards my cock, kissing any surface of my skin on the way.

When I come it’s so much — it almost feels _magickal_... 

It might be my vivid imagination again. 

I suspect that since this is what I never even dared to dream about, yet is finally coming true — my brain is playing tricks on me and makes me think that there's something magickal about our blowjobs. 

  
  



	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear reader. 💙  
>   
> This is a tiny 1k update for the New Years. It's well, everything I've mustered to edit this far. (I have a longer rough draft for this chapter.)  
>   
> Summertime has got me through very hard times. But it's been getting worse for me.  
>   
> I've had four deaths and am not coping well. And I'm worried about ruining the fic I am so excited over with my deepened depression.  
>   
> Or that my overly low concentration will prevent me from putting things correctly chronologically, or make me repeat myself or not make any sense at all.  
>   
> Somehow it had come to a point where I see Summertime as something so happy and great that I hardly dare coming close to it, and darken it with being me.  
>   
> Which is idiotic since this is the fic that helps me the most.  
>   
> So I will try slowly to get back to it because Summertime does make me happy. But I think I'm going to continue revising the earlier chapters first.  
>   
> It might be a good way of getting back.  
>   
> Thank you all for reading, leaving kudos, commenting. It means the world to me. 💙💙💙  
>   
> And an extra shout out to my friend and beta Blue, who’s been with me from the beginning and without whom I would never have written a single fic.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Here’s a reminder of the playlists I am listening to while writing Summertime:  
>   
>  **[Summertime](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/7xmoeH82IMhHWb8aVKT6uN?si=vfoZy8QPQnKybbA7Fo8CNw)**  
>   
>  **[Summertime Gift Playlist 💝](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0pwVFX4hYTbxS5OZ1dQBbc?si=m0l1GAZKSKOGpJAMfyLsTQ)** from [Ladyofthef0wers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofthefl0wers) and [PeppyBismilk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyBismilk).  
>   
>  **[Massive Addictive (Summertime)](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/5IC8aLivyxLPz1mvhITXvv?si=ziMGIGZJSiCvSQDdgowF8g)**  
>   
>  **[Ring My Love Alarm](https://open.spotify.com/user/jyhh3lv46hl1ktbhv35n3uzk7/playlist/0cyYShC6Hiyd2G3kRaxpK6?si=3myaVWWFRX6EZi5BKeBQlQ)**  
>   
>  I created this one for my friend Blue ([mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow)) for their incredible fic ****[Ring My Love Alarm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22014511/chapters/52535044).  
>   
> ✨💙✨💙✨ **Happy New Year 🎆!** ✨💙✨💙✨
> 
> * * *

# BAZ

I forgot about Simon’s present _again_. That’s hardly my fault. How could I possibly think properly when he is naked?

No, you don’t have to answer that. It was a rhetorical question, obviously.

We both are nude — on my bed.

We’ll be spending more time naked in bed, at the very least while sleeping, because Simon will spend a whole summer with me. (Unless he'll get tired of me and leave me for any of his other admires. I'm simply foolishly hoping that won't happen.)

I reach for his gift lying abandoned on the other side of the bed.

”This is for you,” I declare with a bit of trepidation and hand him over the package.

What if he’s changed his mind about his favourite colour. What if Simon _hates_ grey now?

Simon blushes and I watch his Adam’s apple bob in the most erotic manner. I want to kiss him.

_Concentrate Basilton, that's how you forgot about the present in the first place._

”I didn't get you anything,” he mumbles, worrying his lower lip.

Not entirely sure how to take his unnecessary stress away, I lean over and kiss him, soothing his lips with mine.

Simon’s hand comes up to me, he grasps after my hair and makes a fist.

I gasp into his mouth, jabbing my face into his and try my damndest not to end up in a compromising position.

By that, I mean any scenarios that would end up with me enjoying _Simon’s cock_. My hand practically reaches for him involuntarily. (His other hand groping my derrière is not helping the situation in the least.)

If we go any further I will most likely forget about his gift once more.

And so even though it is not easy, I somehow manage to stick to kissing.

”You agreed to spend your time here,” I whisper when we pull apart, ”that’s a gift in itself.”

I hope I wasn't too forward. It becomes more trying to keep my overwhelming love for Simon a secret. (Especially when he is spending the whole summer with me and I am overjoyed to the point of no return.)

# SIMON

I'm not sure how me staying with Baz for one extra night is a gift for _him_ , when _I'm_ the lucky one. But I'm too stunned to answer properly.

”Thank you,” I manage to get out instead.

I take the box from him, making sure to brush my fingers over his, and then reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

There’s a note, fastened under the ribbon, written in his flawless almost too pretty handwriting. (I’m going to save this one as well.)

Did Baz get me an alarm clock?

# BAZ

”My favourite colour,” Simon mumbles as soon as he opens it and looks so happy.

”I’ve noticed,” I try and not state it in a way that he’ll know why I’m this overjoyed about grey being his favourite colour. That possibly he likes my eyes too.

Loving Simon from afar was difficult. Loving him while dating is also challenging. (Although I'm not entirely convinced we are in fact dating, he hasn’t shown any indication to support that hypotheses at all — _at all_.)

I'm constantly terrified of saying things out loud.

Simon smiles but then I’m noticing doubt creeping up his face.

”Baz, that’s— I don’t know what to say… It’s- _too much_ , you—”

I interrupt Simon with a kiss and climb into his lap, because he’s nervous and stuttering for no reason.

Yes, I know exactly what you’re thinking. What if he didn’t want me in his lap?

That would be a concern however Simon himself has been pulling me into his lap very enthusiastically more often than not. That is why I’m assuming this is a good idea after all.

I kiss him for as long as possible while making sure my derrière keeps touching his cock repeatedly, awakening his _sleeping giant_. I want it furiously energetic.

The longer I kiss his mouth and mock-ride his cock the less arguing I’m going to get from Simon. He’ll be too busy enjoying himself.

If his hands moving all over me, pulling me closer, is any indication, this is working out splendidly.

I move to his jaw and trace it with my lips and just as I reach his neck I lick it.

Then I let my tongue explore every curve and lose myself in the aroma of his skin.

“ _Oh Baz_ ,” his voice comes out breathless, as his hands reach for my arse, and he gropes me.

As time goes by while I’m licking and kissing his neck, I’m listening to Simon breath heavily, moaning softly.

Finally, I start sucking on this particularly alluring spot on his. (They all are alluring, of course.)

My fangs are under control and I let myself enjoy this to the fullest. Simon has left several love bites on me. Surely I can do the same.

Since the only reaction I get out of him is moaning my name and a harder grip of his hands on my derrière, I’d say he doesn’t mind.

# SIMON

When we pull apart, I feel dazed and very hard.

My cock is throbbing for Baz, for something to do to him, with him — _anything_. His bottom practically riding me doesn't help. (He must not have realised the effect that makes on me.)

Baz was just kissing me with his juicy lips and I want more...

However, Baz got me an iPhone. I’m thinking it's too much, too generous — we’ve only been on _one_ date.

And yes, I’d give him all my gold but that’s because I’m in love with him, so it’s different.

”It's too much,” I tell him again. I don't want to take advantage of Baz. That’d be wrong.

He kisses me on my neck. I think I have a mole there. He's been kissing all my moles. I'm still unsure why he likes them, why he likes _me_. But he does and I can't be happier.

His perky bottom is currently pressing right into me, with my cock sliding between his cheeks. (I have trouble concentrating.)

”I get pocket money,” he whispers into my ear and nibbles on it. I shiver from pleasure and moan when the friction between my cock and his behind increases.

“And,” he continued, his lips ghost over my neck, “I've been too busy using any of it during the summer.”

Baz _was_ spending a fairly lot of time wanking in his room, so that does make perfect sense.

I've never thought how constantly wanking can save one a lot of money.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 😎


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